Kindergarten question-cross-posted

[LibrarianMom]

Hello! I usually hang out on the after-schooling board as I work outside the home FT and after-school My ds will be 5 in February and has been evaluated as most likely aspie and maybe ADHD. He is currently in PS early childhood classes in the morning where he receiveds OT, PT, and speech, and attends an afternoon church-based pre-school where his teacher is a great lady whose opinion I deeply appreciate. It's going fairly well with some time-outs for behavioral issues but nothing too serious. His academic readiness skills are right on target although his fine-motor skills are improving. I know it's a year away, but I'm trying to figure out whether to send him to kindergarten or keep him out a year next fall. Part of me screams he knows his stuff why hold him back while the other half screams the extra year will help him to be a stronger student later. If he was a May or June birthday, I wouldn't think twice about holding him back. Thoughts or wisdom from the hive?

[OrganicAnn]

I think the teacher whose opinion you respect would be better able to help you decide. I've met some awesome Kg teachers especially those that work with kids that need some type of special help. Maybe she can help look at your son and his abilities objectively and make an insightful recommendation.

 

Do you know what school your DS will be in? If there are different choices of schools, will that play into your decision?

[ondreeuh]

That's hard. How is his emotional maturity? My son has ADHD and friendships were difficult when the other kids were so much more mature & in control of themselves, and they thought he was being annoying (it's true, he was). A difficult social environment can make school miserable and negate any academic benefit of going ahead a year.

 

Academically, he was not strong (well except in math, which didn't matter as they didn't differentiate instruction anyway), and he has a June birthday so I seriously considered delaying entry. I ended up putting him in "on time" and have regretted it since 1st grade when it was clear that he didn't blossom enough in a year.

 

What is your district's retention policy? In ours, I was told that retention was all but impossible (another reason I should have waited). If your district is flexible, you could put him in K with the understanding he may repeat. On the flip side, if he did wait a year, would they be able to challenge him in K the next year?

[FairProspects]

No answers, but I am right there with you. I am for sure delaying DS's entry into K, but he has a July birthday, and it is pretty much encouraged to delay boys with summer birthdays around here. My problem is similar, in that he is ready to go on academically but socially he can't sit still and shows some signs of ADD. My solution so far, is just to homeschool the academics this year and see where we are at next year and whether the school will be able to challenge him in K.

 

My friend's son has a January birthday and she delayed his entry a year just because she felt it would be the right thing for him. She has not regretted it once. In my experience, you don't hear many people regretting that they delayed dc a year, but I've heard many say they wish they would have waited to start K. Just something else to consider!

[momofaandh]

Hello,

 

This is my own experience. My son could have started K last year but we felt he wasn't ready. Our state allows children to start as long as they turn 5 before the end of the year. My sons birthday is mid-December. That meant he could have started at 4. Academically he definitely was fine but socially and emotional he was not. In talking with others I never heard anyone say they regretted delaying the child start into school. The only regrets were they started to early. Friends of mine were relieved when I tell them we delayed his start. they have told me they were started early and ended up staying back in the lower grades (most seem to be in second grade) and this was more emotionally traumatizing than having a delayed start. They all wished their parents had waited that extra year.

 

I was happy to see that about 40% of his class were delayed starts as well. He stills has problem with the wiggles but is much better off starting this year rather than last year. I do not regret delaying his start at all!!

 

Because he is capable, I do work with him on phonics, math and other subjects to keep his mind where it should be and hope the teachers will work with me to ensure he does not get bored in school.

[cougarmom4]

In our experience, with two ds born in summer months--there is no way I would have held them back a year. Yes, they are a little less mature than others in their classes but ours were already reading well and I cannot imagine how bored they would be if we had held them back a year. It is already a battle to get the school to do anything extra/more to challenge them, I can't imagine how much more of a nightmare it would be if we had waited a year. I have not regretted sending them young for a minute.

 

So my suggestion is to look at where your ds is at academically and see what the school would be teaching. Go in and visit the kindergarten classes and see which teacher you think might be a good fit. Talk to them about what their opinions are. Ask them what their expectations are behavior-wise; tell them what your ds can already do academically. Think of it in the long-term...not just how he is right now.

 

Good luck in your decision...I know a lot of different things play into making such a decision.

[Katrina J]

A good friend of mine has a son with mild aspergers and she always worries at the end of one school year how he will manage with the next. Academically her son is very strong but his social skills and ability and willingness to sit still and follow directions, if not managed well, can very easily alienate him from peers and leave some teachers exasperated.

 

Fortunately his teachers so far have been very understanding and worked with my friend to help manage some of his behavioural issues and focus on his strengths. He has learnt to read quickly and easily and his mathematical and spatial skills are excellent. She's pleased she didn't hold him back because he is thriving academically and this is helping him to find his 'place' in school. He has a tendency to be a bit obsessive and has moved on from constantly running and playing with trains to reading all kinds of books, writing stories and designing 'inventions'.

 

Every child and situation is different of course and there are so many things to take into consideration. I wish you well.

 

Katrina

[Mama2Three]

If I were you, I would find out more about the school program where you expect your DS to attend. My DS has a Feb b-day, and also has some fine motor delays and attention issues. I almost decided to hold him back, but the school put in place so many supports for him that I think it was a better situation to keep him with his peers. We work on phonics, math, writing, and handwriting before school, so I am sure that he has a very strong foundation for the basics. Although I sometimes second guess myself and wonder how he would be doing if he were in 1st grade instead of 2nd, I believe that it was a better fit overall for him.

 

Good luck with your decision!