Whisperlily Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Okay, how do I do this gracefully? My cousin has a daughter almost exactly 1 year older than youngest DD. They have given us hand-me downs twice. (Wow, what beautiful clothes... and so *many*) Once was last summer, and I kept thinking I needed to send a thank-you card but forgot. Then, a batch in the next size literally two DAYS before we moved away (Dec). In the move/transition, I kept thinking I needed to get the card in the mail. FINALLY I remembered to buy the cards, and then I promptly lost them. After many half-attempts to find them, and one dedicated search, they've vanished. Now, I haven't sent a card, and my aunt says they have another batch ready and would like to MAIL them to us. If I send a thank-you card now, will it look like I'm doing it quickly before the next batch arrives? Will it look like I'm *asking* for the clothes they are getting ready? (I certainly don't expect the clothing, but appreciate it.) If I offer to pay postage, which I would willingly do, would THAT sound like I'm asking for the clothes? *sigh* If I'd just remembered to send the card the same day I bought them. I should add that I'm not in frequent contact with this cousin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 They are happy to know that you have use for and are willing to accept the clothes. Really they are. Sure, you could offer to pay postage, but I really don't think that's an issue here. If they felt funky about it, they would not have sent batch number two or...now...three. So, tomorrow, sit down and write the note/card. Do it. And tell them everything (well, nearly) that you've said here. Tell them that you have had the best of intentions and that life got away from you. Tell them that you think of them so fondly each and every time you clothe your daughter in something from them. Tell them how much it has helped you and how greatly you appreciate it, despite the fact that you've been remiss for not sending a card. And...tell them thank you, in advance, for the upcoming batch of clothes ("Aunt Jen tells me that you have another box of clothes to send. Goodness, what a gift! I'm so touched. May I offer to pay for postage at least?") If you feel that you want to do more, send them a framed photo of your dd in one of their outfits. But, don't try to do that before you send the card. Just send the card. Then you'll feel happy, and they'll feel happy, and all will the right with the world. :D Doran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runningirl71 Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I do this same thing! My mother always taught us to send thank you notes, but life CAN get away from you! I agree with everything Doran says, but if you feel sending a card before you receive the next batch would be a little awkward, sit down and write the card, and then put it in a safe place (as long as you remember where you put it) and send it after the next batch comes. Obviously your cousin isn't holding it against you that a thank you note hasn't come, since she's still sending you clothes! It's the thought that counts . . . even if it IS late! Go ahead and write it, you'll be glad you did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hana Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I agree with Doran--send the card now, and tell her what you've told us. :) You can mention the third possibility of clothes and offer to pay shipping, or not mention it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whisperlily Posted March 8, 2008 Author Share Posted March 8, 2008 I agree with Doran--send the card now, and tell her what you've told us. :) You can mention the third possibility of clothes and offer to pay shipping, or not mention it. Thanks everybody. I think I will have to go digging for the cards. ;) I don't think I'll mention the next box, as I am not sure they knew my Aunt would mention them to me. That way they don't feel as though I'm waiting for them, and can send them on their timetable, and are free to change their mind if they decide to. Cousin's wife is a little more formal than I am about social things, and I don't know her well at all. It very well could be that she's waiting to see if a card comes before mailing these. I really DO appreciate the clothes, and I certainly don't expect them to continue sending clothes my way. It's a huge blessing, and they have wonderful taste... and evidently wonderful spending power. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I agree with the other posters. Just do it! Sometimes (because I'm just weird:rolleyes:) I will time how long it takes to do tasks I have been procrastinating. Usually it takes much less time than I had thought, and I feel silly for building it up in my head! BTW, thank you notes? Approximately 5 minutes from start to finish if you know where they are and don't have to hunt for them. How do I know this? I just did this last week. In less than 20 minutes, I had all of them done and in the mailbox. It felt so good to cross off the task that had been on my to-do list for a month.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I think I will have to go digging for the cards. ;) If you can't find the cards, a plain ol' piece of notebook paper will do. It will be your words they appreciate, not the paper they are written on. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 blood is thicker water. you are making a mountain out of a molehill. hmmm....what other one liners can i think of? just write the letter NOW and stick it in the mail tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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