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consequences when a 13 yo lies?


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I find it tricky because I think if you do the, "Now that you lied, I no longer trust you, that's what happens when you lie" lecture, than your child figures you don't trust him anyway, so he CAN like. My mother always said (over and over in my childhood), "I KNOW you would never lie to me." And that made me want to never lie because even though I had lied, she believed in me and I really wanted to live up to that.

 

So I would treat it as an aberration if it's never happened before. I would talk about temptation and admit that I have also given into temptations and encourage him to fight that particular one.

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If is the first time, nip it quickly. I wouldn't be severely harsh, but I would seek to make an impression that you will not, and nor do others, like that type of action or the person who performs. I, unfortunately, have a teen that tells the little petty white lies. This drives me crazy. I've since learned that no form of lie will be tolerated by the other two, and I punish according to the severity of their response. This is a tough call. Only you will know the intent behind the lie and whether or not it was to not get in trouble or to not be discovered at avoiding the chore. Yes, as confusing as it sounds, I believe there is a difference in the two.

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