What if you have at 5th or 6th grader that isn't very academic? Help!

[katilac]

My 11yo has LDs and would be going into the 6th grade next year if he were in school. He is on a 4th grade level in Language Arts (except writing is a 1st/2nd grade level), 5th in math, and is not able to handle logic stage assignments at this time. He will still do activities at a 6th grade level and be called a 6th grader - I don't particularly care about grades as long as he is moving forward. He would be HORRIFIED to be "held back" and it would serve no purpose except to reinforce that there is something "wrong" with him.

 

My 8yo on the other hand, I *did* hold back a year, but it was after 1st (age-wise) when he was on a K level. He should be a 3rd grader in the fall, but still on a late-K, early 1st level. The problem is that in every other way he is 8 (except that he is the size of the average 10.5 yo!) I will call him a 2nd grader, and in all activities he will be a 2nd grader EXCEPT Scouts because he has finished his tiger and wolf badges.

 

I am glad my 6yo has an October birthday - I just held off calling him a Ker until he was almost 6, so he will be almost 7 going into 1st. He is not at a finishing K-level yet, so this is good.

 

The point is that you have to be very, very careful "holding back" an older child. My 8yo has no concept that I held him back, but his older brother would. I would much rather call him a 5th grader, but it isn't worth the trauma it would cause him.

 

I should have clarified that my remarks are mostly based on the assumption of no LDs - - I don't have enough knowledge of them to know when they would hold a child back, when accomodations would be made, etc. That's why I'd consider it very important to clarify if LDs are an issue or not.

 

While I do realize very few kids are hunky-dory with being held back, I also don't think it has to be a terrible trauma. In this case, the student is already under the impression that she just finished 4th grade, not 5th, so I'd really hesitate to bump her forward. If I felt a child was really on the cusp, I'd definitely consider moving to the next grade, but if he/she is clearly working one to two full years below grade level in core subjects, I would not.

 

My philosophy is that it's always better to cry now than cry later. A child might be upset at not getting promoted to the 6th grade, but won't he be far more upset if he's promoted now but continues to fall behind through high school, when everyone is expecting him to graduate? Once a kid hits 9th grade, he and everyone else knows exactly when he's expected to graduate, but 5th graders have yet to buy their Class of 2015 shirts, kwim?

[Renee in NC]

I should have clarified that my remarks are mostly based on the assumption of no LDs - - I don't have enough knowledge of them to know when they would hold a child back, when accomodations would be made, etc. That's why I'd consider it very important to clarify if LDs are an issue or not.

 

While I do realize very few kids are hunky-dory with being held back, I also don't think it has to be a terrible trauma. In this case, the student is already under the impression that she just finished 4th grade, not 5th, so I'd really hesitate to bump her forward. If I felt a child was really on the cusp, I'd definitely consider moving to the next grade, but if he/she is clearly working one to two full years below grade level in core subjects, I would not.

 

My philosophy is that it's always better to cry now than cry later. A child might be upset at not getting promoted to the 6th grade, but won't he be far more upset if he's promoted now but continues to fall behind through high school, when everyone is expecting him to graduate? Once a kid hits 9th grade, he and everyone else knows exactly when he's expected to graduate, but 5th graders have yet to buy their Class of 2015 shirts, kwim?

 

I don't run my homeschool based on a school model, so I don't place any importance really on grade level, other than for outside activities.

 

As far as high school goes, my philosophy is very different - I don't expect it to be as rigid as that. When my dc are done with what I think they need to know, then I will graduate them. I don't care what age that is, what the school system would say, or anything else.

 

My 11yo currently wants to start tech school in mechanics at 16, and I will probably let him. He'll get his textbooks on CD, be able to use a laptop for written work, and he is a mechanical genius, so I have no doubt he'll do fine. He's currently in the grammar stage and I expect that he will get through the logic stage, but maybe not the rhetoric.

 

Maybe my perspective is different because I have 2 children working 2 or more grade levels behind. It won't do any good for my 8yo to still be a first grader again next year. Yes, I am remediating his LDs, but they won't ever go away and he may never get to the high school level in anything. This is one of the reasons I homeschool - to move at the child's pace and needs.

 

I missed that the OP's dd thinks she has already been held back. I would probably just continue forward at this point, but overall I do not recommend anyone "holding a child back" that can recognize that this has happened.