saw
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Posts posted by saw
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My now 13yo DS has a diagnosis of CAPD, also a diagnosis of phonological disorder. So learning to read phonetically just wasn't going to happen. I taught him using sight words (the Ladybird series of books helped a lot), he did some Lindamood Bell and also Tomatis, both of which seem to have helped a lot, especially Lindamood Bell. His subtype of CAPD appears to be inter-hemispheric, which corresponds to his other "issues." He does appear to have dyslexia but I'm still a bit suspicious he may have stealth dyslexia. His spelling continues to be a bit "off" and I'm not sure he knows his phonics very well at all, but he reads just fine.
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Thanks! I'm so glad everything is going so well! How old are your other children? We're hoping to adopt a child between the ages of our 2 youngest, and I think that's unusual... Another question, in no particular order...do you think it would be do-able for 1 adult to travel alone? Would that just be crazy to try?
Other kids are 8 years older and 5 years older, eldest two are girls (twins) then a boy. We were quite specific about wanting a boy, to balance the girls, and to have a biggish age gap. My bio three are very very bright and we didn't want to set up the possibility that an adopted child would feel like he needed to compete or wasn't good enough. We were also clear about wanting cleft lip/cleft palate, because my brother was born with cl/cp and I wanted to be able to say to DS, hey you're just like your uncle. China was also a choice because my family has a connection to Asia.
I would worry about the competition between an adopted child who may have delays/issues and a bio child who has been nurtured well since birth if they are close in age. In our case, however, we didn't get what we expected -- DS needed NO therapy with the exception of six months of speech, was advanced in fine and gross motor and displays exceptional musical talent. So be prepared for everything -- I was prepared for one end of the spectrum of possibilities and got smacked with the other!
Be careful with your agency. Ours sounded lovely on paper and in emails. When it came down to being helpful in-country and in times of crisis (and believe me there will be times of crisis!) they were useless. There is a Yahoo group (or was) that allows you to post questions about agencies and get answers from people who have used them.
Check out Love Without Boundaries too. They're a good organisation, not an adoption agency. They have some lovely children up for adoption and can give you info on the agencies the children are with.
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My youngest is adopted from China. He's been home for over five years though, so my advice is quite dated. I can say he's an amazingly wonderful boy! We have been lucky to have had very few adoption-related negative issues up until this point. If I can answer any questions, I'm happy to.
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Interesting thread. The only "experience" I have with boarding school is through the books of Enid Blyton. :)
That way my initial "experience" as well -- and I can tell you, when ds told me he needed to have his very own tuck box, I was thrilled!
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Not sure if anybody mentioned it, but the reason kids often start at 11 in the UK is because of the 11+ exam, or at least that's my understanding.
It depends a bit on whether you're a girl or boy and whether you're coming from the state or independent sector. For boys coming from the independent sector, it would be usual to attend a prep school from 2d or 3d grade through 7th grade, then take the Common Entrance exam and start senior school at 13 yo and 8th grade. For girls, most independent schools will start at 11. If you're in the state system and you're a boy, it can be tricky, as primary schools finish after 5th grade and secondary starts in 6th. If you're going private for secondary, you then have two years of a gap and will either need to go to a prep or figure out how to sit Common Entrance from a state school. It doesn't help that Common Entrance is geared toward boys coming from prep schools, and part of the exam is Latin/French. Senior schools do accommodate but I'm not sure how much they accommodate.
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Saw, this is a very personal question, so pls disregard if too intrusive.
Can you explain your reasons for sending your kids to boarding school?
PM if you want. Or not. But I'm curious. :laugh:
Happy to answer because there are days when I ask myself the same question! It started with ds, who never fit in in school very well and whom we could not legally homeschool given where we were living. We then moved countries and, for a variety of reasons that had to do with finding him a suitable education (whether homeschooling or regular school) and a place for his music, ended up sending him to a specialist music school in the UK. Would not have done it if it had not been a specialist music school and if he had not had the talent he does. Looking back, though, I see that boarding school was without a doubt the best option for him. He went from having at best a so-so school experience to having a good experience. He needs way more structure than a regular school can provide (he loves schedules), needs very small classes, likes uniforms and rules and loves being kept busy. He's happy in this environment. Because it worked so well, he insisted on staying in boarding school for senior school, and we've chosen a smaller all-boys full boarding school. It was certainly not something I would have wanted necessarily, and I miss him terribly, but when I see how happy he is and how well he does, that's enough for me. Oddly enough, of my four children, he is the one to whom I am closest. We have a very strong relationship I think. I have to say though I remember the day I dropped him off, walking away from the school, feeling absolutely gutted and thinking, oh no what on earth have I just done?
As for DD, she was skipped two years in school, then we homeschooled, then she got her secondary school diploma two years early, and then I was sitting there with a just-turned 16 yo with a high school diploma and thinking, no way can I send her to college! So when we were looking for productive ways to bridge a year or two, we found that there is a boarding school in the UK with a girls' cathedral choir for girls 13 to 18. Most boarding girls cathedral choir schools focus on the 8 to 13 year old group. Because DD is very very into choir (has been singing for years, and was in the local cathedral choir for the last few years), this was a good option. She was given a choral scholarship of 50 per cent of fees, which was nice. She really really wanted to do this. The school itself is not super academic, but dd is a self-starter and has already decided that she's putting on a Greek play in Greek, and is busy recruiting students to participate. She's signed up for rowing (she's dyspraxic but has rowing experiene) and is doing two instruments alongside the music. She lives in a boarding house with other choristers, one of whom we knew already as she is the sister of a classmate of ds's. She can come home on the weekends and I can come to services to hear her sing on most weekends. It's a good solution to the gap year problem, and preferable to having her go to university early. Either way it would have been very difficult to have her stay home this year (v difficult here to do college classes early) and she would likely have gone "away" somewhere anyway.
So in both cases it was music driving the decision, and it helped that both schools offered an environment suited to the child in question. I would prefer them all to be home and to have a "normal" life but they're not standard children and it's always been difficult finding environments in which they can thrive. It is not what I want but it is what works for them, and I have to keep reminding myself that this is what matters right now, especially for ds.
I do see them quite a lot, dd almost every weekend, and DS is home every third week, either for the weekend, half-term or a proper holiday. I will visit him at least once in the three weeks he is not home to take him out for lunch/dinner on a Sunday.
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Most of the boarders come from overseas and are looking for an English-speaking IB education; most are from Germany and Asia.
L
At DD's school, all of the kids in the Year 13 Further Maths class are either Asian or Russian. When she joined the year, one of them asked her, "What are you doing here? You're not Asian and you're not Russian!"
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DS has been boarding since he was 9. Because part of the uniform was (on occasion) long black cloaks, the boys would get a lot of "Oh look Harry Potter Ha ha" comments from tourists and strangers. His junior school was quite scheduled and regimented, with a member of staff watching the boys at all times -- if they were playing outside, there was always someone there watching them, always a member of staff keeping them in their line of sight. There was very little free time.
He's now 13 and at senior school. His school is very very traditional. The school has its own vocabulary and its own form of a football game that I'll probably never understand. He has a tege, an older boy to look after him, and he doesn't study in the evening, he has toytime. All sorts of things like that.
He called me on his first night there (he's in a dorm with 12 boys) and when I asked about the noise in the background, told me that some of the boys had hoisted a mattress onto the rafters! Every time he calls there is LOTS of noise in the background, but good noise, laughing and talking. This particular school is very good about keeping the boys very very busy, and, as it's full boarding, you don't have the problem with lots of local boys going home at the weekend leaving a handful of boys with nothing to do at school. We looked at one school that empties out at the weekend (near to London) and I could just imagine the kind of trouble those boys could get into. DS's school has high standards and boys do get expelled for drugs and underage drinking, but it doesn't happen often. Academic standards are exceedingly high, too, so the boys have to devote time to study or they'll have to leave. DS is loving it so far, it's perfect for him -- great academics, very intellectual atmosphere, loads of sport (required to do some sport), heavy music commitment. It has a lovely feel to it, all very old and comfortable with some beautiful buildings.
DD just started boarding in 6th form this year at a less academic school and I've noticed that she does appear to have quite a bit of free time and is maybe less supervised. I'm not too thrilled about that, although she's a really reliable kid, as I don't see why I'm sending her there to be bored. It's not nearly as traditional a school as DS's (which seems to be unaware that it is 2014). Early days though so we'll see.
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The problem with not engaging in their game is that the narcissist may then do things like make su*c*de threats so that police and ambulance get involved, and then the universe shifts again so that the narcissist is in his proper place at the centre, with sympathy and attention and lots of people trying to make him feel better, while those who bear the brunt of the threat are left damaged and hurting on the outside.
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What do you think of the list? I suppose it's also very dependent on the course. I was surprised by Surrey near the top as I don't hear that one mentioned a lot. The others didn't surprise me. Having said that, I haven't looked into this very much at all so my opinion isn't well-informed.
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In the Netherlands (elementary level), school runs from around 8.30 to 2.45 MTTh and 8.30 to noonish on Weds and Fri, until third grade. After third grade you lose the Friday afternoon off but keep the Wednesday afternoon, so that's when most sports clubs etc will have practices. It's a six-week summer holiday and the start of the holiday varies by three weeks -- the government staggers the start time by dividing the country into north, middle and south to prevent the entire nation from being on the road to France at the same time. There's a fall break of a week, two weeks at Christmas, a week in February and then a week or two weeks in April/May. Schools have to abide by the national rules on certain holidays, like the summer holiday, but are free to divvy up the free time on other holidays, so some schools would have two weeks break in May, others would have a week in April and another in May.
Schools don't have hot lunch and most children will bring a pack lunch and stay in school. It used to be that many children would go home for lunch but that's not that common anymore.
In the UK DS's new school has interesting schedule where they have classes in the mornings, then a long break for sports/music/etc and more classes in the late afternoon. He also has school on Saturday mornings.
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Trying to wrap my head around the Common Ap. DD can apply online or on paper and send it in. If she applies online, will the "school" and recommenders be able to send transcripts/recommendations on paper? I had a look at the online forms, but it doesn't seem like there's enough room to fill in the coursework information. For instance, it only gives 10 spaces for final school exams taken when DD has done 14. Or is the online form just a form and can I send her transcript separately? Her recommenders will almost certainly need to send paper forms, as the recommendations will need to be translated officially and I'm pretty sure a couple of the recommenders may have a difficult time with the Common Ap forms online. Ideally she'll apply online, and I'll send the transcript, recommendations and supplemental material separately. If anyone can tell me whether that's allowed, I would be grateful.
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I don't know the answer, but the US Embassy in London has an IRS office in the building and they're pretty helpful. I've gone to them in person but they also have a phone help line. They were helpful to me on a couple of occasions and might, given their location, have some expertise in the whole dual thing. The US-based IRS obviously also has a phone line but I wouldn't recommend trying them.
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Calvin will be a minor (17) when he goes to university. I have just signed a waiver stating that the university is not in loco parentis, so if I want anyone to be in loco parentis, I need to appoint them separately.
I think that students below the age of 16 might need to be accompanied here, as the university lecturers and ancillary staff will not have had the same police background checks (for offences against children) that school employees would have had. I don't have personal experience, however.
L
I'm glad to hear this, because when we moved to the UK a few years ago and starting talking university to people here, several people were adamant that Oxbridge will not accept students under 18 because of the CRB check.
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Thanks for this info Jenny. I feel like I'm doing a sort of cut and paste patchwork for my dds and hoping it works. In an ideal world, how would your dd's education have looked?
I ask because sometimes I look back and think, well, if we hadn't moved and I could have sent them to a day school that was the equivalent of a top prep school and kept them with their age-peers, would I have done it? And often the answer is no, I think they have benefited from the slightly random approach. Other days I get a different answer.
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Friends of ours just moved there, and we're planning on visiting at some point this year. So far I've heard about a great waterpark with scary slides (a friend did the slide while wearing a GoPro, no way I'll be doing the slide!) and "camping" trips to the desert. It sounds like an interesting place to visit.
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My husband just spoke with him and said "we don't just have 2005's laying around." $5k was for installation too
Does he mean to say that the unit is not from 2005? If so, I think I'd ask him to explain why the model/serial no etc indicate otherwise. Perhaps you can call the manufacturer and ask them if there is a reasonable explanation or for further information that might help figure out what happened. I think I'd try first to ascertain the facts, both from your side and from his, then establish clearly what the differences are -- do you disagree on the facts or the interpretation of the facts?
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Do you have paperwork with the specifications of the unit? Was the $5000 for the unit itself or for unit plus installation?
I think I'd start there, and then look at what a unit from 2014 would cost new. I'd also see what a unit from 2005 of that particular make/model would cost usually -- maybe call around.
It certainly sounds like he implied the unit was new (like a buying a book with a mark on it) rather than than used, so I'd look into what the paperwork says and what the numbers say.
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I would give a neutral response about not being sure when you're in state again. Then adjust your settings on Facebook to prevent her from seeing your posts (different from unfriending and blocking). Just ignore the request for the phone number. It sounds like she lives too far away from you to be in your life unless you put in the effort, so just don't put in the effort.
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I use (on occasion) Moneywiz, and I find it more intuitive than YNAB. Not sure why, but I tried both for a while and Moneywiz was easier for me.
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After going back and forth on this for some time, DD has decided that she will apply to college for next year. (She's just turned 16, was skipped two years in elementary school, and is currently doing a gap year in China -- so she could in theory wait one more year and then be "caught up" to her classmates chronologically). Because she's in China and because she decided just recently to do this and because of a whole heck of a lot of carp that's been going on in our family life, we're already behind, yay. I will do the legwork and help her out in anything she cannot do herself because of being in China, although obviously she needs to be in charge of the process.
So my second question of the year (first was paper app for SATs, which got sorted, thank you all) is where to find examples of teacher recommendations? Her recommenders are not going to be US people. Most likely will be recommendations from the Netherlands, France and the UK, where letters of recommendation for college are just not as common as in the US. I asked one of the admissions offices last spring and was told the recommenders may submit in their native tongue with a translation, which is great news, but I'm hoping I can find some examples to send the teachers so that they know what sort of thing is usual? Any suggestions?
I'll be back I'm sure. Many thanks in advance.
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You do what is best for you, your children and your family as a unit. You and your dh are, imnsho, best placed to make this decision.
Last year I had one in an elite boarding school, two home-schooled and one in a public school. I live in the UK, where independent schools of my son's type are considered by some to be "posh" (that's a four-letter word). There's not a lot of people I could talk to who could understand my decision to make these choices for my kids. The home-schoolers and the anti-independent schoolers think boarding school is child abuse (especially sending a child at 9, as I did). The independent schoolers I know think home-edders are weird and abnormal and oh by the way why would you send you kid to state school with a bunch of immigrants and council estate kids? The state school people think I'm "posh" when they hear where my son goes to school and cannot wrap their heads around homeschoolers.
You know what? Boarding school DS is thriving, doing great. He would not be doing as well as he is if he were home-schooled or in state school. He's in just the right place for him. DDs did great with homeschool. Neither wanted regular school until this year, and I'm okay with that. State school DS is far happier at his state school than at the low-caliber snooty independent Christian school I initially sent him to. He wouldn't do well being home-schooled (at least not right now, we'll see as we go along) and would not be suited to boarding ( at least not now). All four are good-hearted kids, with good values and good work ethics.
I know from experience that it's not easy being the odd one out, but just remember that you're doing what's right for your family right now. It's also quite a nice feeling when the child comes out the other end of the educational experience having done well and you can point at him and say, see I was right! Good luck, just stand firm. And if people are disrespectful about your choices, you may want to limit your interaction with them -- I have one friend who kept making comments at Boarding School DS, and I have limited my contact with her for this reason.
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Thanks very much. This looks like it could be the one. I see from the description that it is Christian-based. Is it any particular "flavor" of Christianity? I'm Christian but would be uncomfortable with a book that based its recommendations entirely on scripture, for example.
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I seem to remember that someone here has posted a recommendation or two for a book on boundaries, specifically, setting boundaries with family members who are overstepping. Any ideas? It was a while back I think.
Many thanks.
Learning to read with CAPD
in The Learning Challenges Board
Posted
I taught him, we weren't in an area where there were any experts to help us. I was going with a combination of sight/phonics, which worked well for my older dcs (learn the Dolch words in combination with straight phonics). Reading went much more quickly with sight words. When he did Lindamood Bell one summer in the US, they worked with him on visualizing words to help him learn to spell. For example, instead of just studying the words or copying them out, he would be asked to "see" them in his head and then manipulate them in his mind by changing the colors or the size of the letters. It worked great for him. This spring he was close to failing Greek and in two weeks with one or two hours a day of this particular approach I was able to get him from failng to excelling, just by having him approach the words in a different way (his problem was that he couldn't write/spell the words, Greek grammar was okay).
The inter-hemispheric seemed obvious given his test results, and were borne out later by testing for vision processing disorder and the fact that he has trouble with the midliine. He also has dysgraphia. He's one of these kids who has lots of weird things but no one "big" diagnosis that can explain everything. The interhemispheric dysfunction is the one thing that is common to all his issues and explains everything.
I think you just have to try different approaches to see what clicks. The more you know about the way your dc's brain functions, the easier it will be to do that. Try a kinetic approach, or a Montessori style tactile approach with feeling and moving the letters around so you write before you read. If the writing is going well, maybe that's your opening to unlock the rest.
One thing that I personally think helped ds but for which I have no evidence is listening to audiobooks. I think that helped him linked the auditory input with the visual image created in his head. No evidence for this whatsoever, but he's listened to audiobooks almost every night for the last decade or so.