Cakes
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Posts posted by Cakes
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albeto, I have noticed that since pulling DD from public school, our relationship has deepened so much. Gone is the sense that she is pulling away and becoming a typical disgruntled adolescent, and I do not have to hound her every minute of the day to maintain her insane schedule. Now we are a much more relaxed home, but there are still so many beneficial things that we just don't have time to get to, learning to sew, writing stories, playing around in the kitchen with recipes....so many things that are overshadowed by text books!
I feel that a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I am ready to begin the new year with a fresh perspective on things! This thread has been such a blessing to me!
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WOW!!
I am so glad that I asked these questions! You all have really opened up a whole new world of discovery to me.
I have been busy researching and reading many of the links provided, I got up at 6 am to read in peace and quiet :-) I am so excited to learn that there really are other options to the way we are currently doing things and I can not wait to begin implementing this new way of thinking!
There is so much to read and learn, but I can already see that I can put some things in my DDs hands and let her make some choices and begin to take the lead. I love the analogy of my role being that of a host to an out of town guest, this really resonates with me.
We will maintain math daily, but I am going to shake loose some of the other things that we are doing (the things that I have to constantly nag about) and really focus on what her interests are. For example we chose astronomy to study this year. She found that she enjoys my husband's favorite show, Cosmos. She refused to watch it all last year (while in school) but this year she gets something out of watching it with him, they pause it so that she can ask questions, once in a while she will look something up that she wants to better understand. But the text book and forced reading/answering questions she hates. Yet even in just watching the show with hair dad, she is learning so much....and on a topic she had no interest in, at least she thought she didn't!
I am going to continue to dig into many of the resources suggested here to broaden my view and understanding.Thank you so much to all of you who have taken the time to share your thoughts with me. This has been a clarifying thread and you all have really pointed me in the right direction. I have felt in my gut that we were off track, butI just didn't know what or how to change!
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I would love some tips, guidelines etc that are commonly used by any homeschoolers that take a more relaxed/ child's interest led type of educating, aka unschooling (I guess).
We started home schooling this fall and I am feeling more and more that we are just playing school at home, checking off the boxes and not really reaching our potential here. There are certain limitations we have such as a deep commitment to dance which is daily. Our school day runs form about 9-2. There are things that my DD would like to explore but we are so darn busy checking off the boxes that I am finding it difficult to get to things that (I feel) would be equally, or perhaps even more, beneficial for her to explore than some of the things she is currently spending time on.
I would like to better understand the fundamentals of unschooling.
I know that part of my struggle is that this is all so new to me, but I would like to explore breaking free of the check list and what that would like like, what that should include and how to ensure that we keep moving forward. How does one set up standards for example? How does one measure growth...or do they?
I would greatly appreciate any insights, ideas of feedback!
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That is cool, I will check it out.
I do have a pretty detailed book about the history of ballet, I need to pull it out and take a look.
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I like the idea of rotating topics because if something isn't very interesting, you have touched on it but they see a light at the end of the tunnel!
I am not really sure how much would need to go into a unit study. Can anyone give me an outline of what one would look like as far as content?
I have a diet/nutrition book that I think is very good and yet a pretty easy read. I may just start with that. Perhaps add in some meal/menu planning as well as some time preparing meals for the family.
I will do some searches, but I am still curious to hear other opinions!
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I need to shake up Science and History for DD (7th).
I am thinking a unit or semester study on diet/nutrition/anatomy/physiology..since she is a dancer something in this vein might capture her interest. Plus it would go hand in hand with my plan to over haul her diet for the new year :laugh: . She has been growing, dancing many hours and is not eating as well as she needs to. We need to switch her mindset from 'I don't like that' to 'that is good fuel for my body, I may not love it but I need to eat it'.
Secondly, for history I am thinking that if I can find something that relates to ballet it may be more interesting.
This is our first year homeschooling and neither one of us are loving science (astronomy) or history (early man). I think having shorter units or even something that is complete in a semester is better that the big textbooks that we have that will simply never get through in a year. I sort of feel like we are trying to dig a swimming pool with a spoon.
I need to get her writing more as well. I am thinking that if these two areas of study are interesting to her, I can get her to put a bit more into her writing. She is actually pretty good at writing but since I brought her home she has written very little.
I know a homeschooler who appears quite successful at it and she feels that if the focus is reading, writing and math, it will make for a well rounded kid. I am trying to make sure these three are the priority and I am having trouble implementing it.
I would really love any advice or suggestions.
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We have never really done anything big on Christmas Day.
We have cinnamon rolls and bagels (GF) in the morning. In the early afternoon both of the kids grandmothers join us for the rest of the day, we out put cheese and crackers, veggies and dip, stuffed mushrooms and deviled eggs.
For many years my mom would bring a smoked turkey and we would make sandwiches. But only 4 of the 6 of us will eat a sandwich so I will probably make a lasagna on Wed am and stash it in the frig until Thurs. And throw a pork roast and veggies in the oven to slow roast in the early afternoon of Christmas Day so that everyone in my picky family will have options and I won't have to cook on the 26th!
Not sure how long you will be gone for at church but you could always prep a chicken to throw into the oven, or a pork/beef roast with root veggies and just slow cook it for a few hours.
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We are not loving science or history, we are moving at a snails pace. We are using text books, Elemental Science and Human Odyssey.
I either need to buckle down and make it more of a priority or switch things up. Can we simply do unit studies based DDs (12) interests?
This is our first year home schooling and we are trying to find our groove!
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Well, it's good you said that, because I didn't want to phrase it that way.
I think we all know that it is stressful, of course you don't stop wanting to care for him just because he tore off a page on his calendar. But you making yourself miserable isn't going to help him improve, and at this stage, if he doesn't want to change you just can't make him.
Yes. You are right.
I guess I came here to post this because I needed to vent before I could face pulling it together.
I appreciate the stories and advice! I will check out the blog above about the veggie challenge...sounds like fun!
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Hoppy- he does take a mineral supp that includes zinc. I have tried the techniques you mention...we have been dealing with this for many many years. But you are right and even though it may not work with him, it is still the right approach for the younger one. I am afraid I have just given up. It is time to pull it together.
Amira, yes of course you are right.
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Lisbeth, I am so sorry! I feel you pain.
I have resorted to doing the bare minimum and we are just not eating well because I am fed up. After hearing what is on your plate, I should be grateful that I really only have one big issue. The 12 yr olds pickiness and gluten intolerance is not a big deal.
I just need to put on my big girl panties and stop trying to cater to him.
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Is he bothered by his own restricted diet? If so, there are options for help.
Not particularly. He is aware that he is missing nutrients due to the lack of fruits and veg, but he is unwilling to try new things. He is good about taking vitamin supplements.
I think if I could get him in the kitchen to cook for the family it may help him to branch out a smidge.
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What I have done for years is to make something that I know he likes on one day and then next make something that he doesn't like...allowing him to eat leftovers form the day before (which he dislikes) or cook something frozen for himself.
I guess I am just feeling worn down by it all. I am busy, trying to start a business, homeschooling the 12 yr old for the first time and I am tired of trying to accommodate him.
I guess my first sentence is really my answer...just keep doing what works. I just feel so uninspired.
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Sorry, I guess I didn't clarify...the oldest two are not the problem. They pitch in a cook frequently! They eat anything I make.
My problem is twofold.
First I am catering to the pickiest in the house, my son. Yes he should fend for himself but that upsets me. I feel so guilty when I make a meal that I know he will not eat. I causes me so much stews that I have nearly stopped cooking.
Secondly I need to expand what I cook to expose my 12 yr old to a wider rang elf foods so that I do not reinforce her budding pickiness.
DS has been like this from the start. But it is either getting worse, or I am just getting tired!
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I am so fed up with cooking, I can hardy stand it. I put it off until the last minute, daily, because I am so disgusted with cooking the same things over and over.
DS is 18 and has always been incredibly picky (I suspect something undiagnosed). He literally only eats : burger, home baked fries, green apples, chicken, lasagna (wont eat it leftover though), mac and cheese, pizza, quesadilla, breakfast sandwich (daily- scrambled egg, with bacon and cheese on toast or bagel).
DD 12 is gluten intolerant, and is getting increasingly picky as the choices that I offer become more narrow. She dislikes most veggies.
DDs 23 & 21 love loads of veggies, and will eat anything but tend to be low carb/ low grains.
I am so tired of trying to please everyone. I would like to find some recipes, map out a week or more at a time and just put food on the table and let anyone who doesn't like it deal with it. The trouble is the DS won't eat, he will heat up pizza or make a quesadilla....but he can't continue to live on that!
I would love any advice on dealing with an incredibly picky eater. He puts such a crimp in my cooking style and we are all suffering over it at this point because I have stopped cooking. I need a swift kick in the rear to jumpstart a healthier change. Please help me!!
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Thanks for the ideas! I still am not sure but I now have some spark for inspiration!!
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All my mom wants for Christmas is a Home Depot GC. So very boring!
I need some fun ways to dress it up! Any ideas?
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Hope all goes well!
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So great to hear everyone's responses!
Yes, DD and I did have a good talk about it. She said that at first she said 'Yeah I will sit in the back!" then quickly realized that she had gotten herself into a bad situation and tried to backpedal but it was too late, that is when she was pressured...because she said she would :confused1: . I explained how dangerous it was to ride in the back and how if they had been hit from behind she would likely be in the hospital or even dead!
The mom does have very poor judgement and there are a few other things that have happened in the last several months but nothing this severe.
The carpool for rehearsals is disbanded now.
We still have two classes per week to sort out but I am pretty sure there is about to be a change because the other mother that shares the driving is also not comfortable with this mom driving her DD.
I appreciate the input and stories from everyone!
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She said " I suggested that she ride in the open belt but she wanted to ride in the back with my DD"
I ended with " Ok, I will speak to her about the inappropriateness of riding without a seatbelt."
Done.
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I just spoke with the mom who coordinates and explained what happened. Of course she was appalled.
I think emailed Ding Dong (thank you for that nick name) and told her that I didn't realize there were two extra kids in the carpool (she never told anyone) and I do not have room in my car but that I will pick up the other three and drive them.
She responded that there was a last minute change.
I responded that she "should have let me know that you were short seat belts because I would have rather driven my kiddo than have her ride in the cargo area of your vehicle."
She replied "sorry! There was an open seat belt."
I said " Child's Name felt directed by you to sit in the back, are you saying that you gave her the option?"
*crickets*
Carpool for the next set of events will be re-arranged so that she drives her own kids because she doesn't have enough seat belts for the number of kids involved, nor do I for that matter. She added in two kids without telling anyone.
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To clarify it was my DD and the driver's DD that were in the trunk of the SUV. It is absolutely illegal!
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Thank you everyone.
For the weekly carpool it is only 3 girls, so there has never been an issue. But our girls are dancing more now, as they are in the company, and occasionally for rehearsals there are more kids.
I just don't understand why, if you know you don't have room, you wouldn't simply say 'I can't take that many kids'.
I am dumbfounded.
I am hesitant to email the entire group because it is basically over. The next time she drives for rehearsals she will not have as many kids, especially if I pull out. and emailing would stir a tremendous amount of drama with this mom and her DD. I think I will speak to the coordinator and withdraw myself from the rehearsal carpool and discuss with her how to handle the weekly carpool.
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A mom friend of mine ( Mom A) coordinated carpool for Nutcracker rehearsals several weeks back. Yesterday was the first day.
Mom B was to pick up all of the kids to take to rehearsals and another mom was to pick up and deliver the kids to their homes.
Mom B pulls up to pick up my kid and another child (who was specifically named as being a part of the carpool, although he is new to the group).
Apparently after I closed my front door, as my child walked out to the car, the mom told her that there was not enough room in the car and that she and Mom B's DD had to sit in the trunk of the Ford Explorer. Mom B was laughing and making light of it. My DD balked at this but the mother insisted and got more serious to the point of saying " I am telling you, you ARE going to sit in there!"
She drove my child (12) like that for 30 mins in bumper to bumper traffic. I am beyond livid!!
I need advice as to how to proceed. This mom will be driving one more time, although that is not a problem as I can easily drive my own kid and the extra boy. One problem is that we have an existing carpool with this mom twice a week. There are three of us and we rotate. There are many other times that we will need to carpool together.
Should I address how inappropriate this is with her over the phone? Email? A simple text, keeping it light hearted?
I don't really want to burn bridges but I don't really want to carpool with her anymore. Actually I never wanted to carpool with her but it is nice to share the driving and be able to help each other out, we are all busy. This is a woman whom I have always kept at an arms distance. She is gossipy and always is digging for information, even gossips about the other dancers to the girls she is driving.
By the way, there was a seatbelt open. But she made my DD ride in the back with her DD.
PS I did tell my daughter that if she was ever put in that position again to simply not get in the car. She should have come back up to the door and told me. I said that I don't care where she is I will always come and get her if she is being put into a dangerous situation.
How I Mess Up Christmas: Take 1
in The Chat Board
Posted
Aw, it sounds like they just missed having you there in the morning to share in the moment.
Maybe next year gifts could wait until later in the morning.