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Posts posted by DesertBlossom

  1. It depends. If the illness is especially bad or if the friends have medically complex kids, no I would not send a still-healthy kid over to play. It also depends on the ages of my kids and the ages of the friends. Little ones tend to share their germs much more liberally than older kids so I can usually assume all my little kids will get each other sick. But my teens and tweens can isolate themselves in a room and keep their germs to themselves. And if still-healthy teens and teens go out, I expect they aren't putting their mouths on other people's stuff. Because little kids ARE gross like that. 

    Illness happens. I understand that a lot of times kids are contagious before they show symptoms. But I do wish people would be a little more cautious. Not only that, I wish parents would let sick kids stay home and rest. I think it's easy to give them fever reducers and then think they are just fine for public because they feel better. I'd rather let the fever run its course and have kids rest at home. They seem to get over illnesses faster that way.

  2. Ooh, I'll play. I would love some  new recipes. 

    This is a family favorite. I am about to put it in the slow cooker right now, actually. I always double the recipe or at least add a couple extra cans of beans. It is so easy to throw together in the slow cooker, and for that reason alone is a favorite.  But it also has incredible flavor. I mourn the summer months when it's socially unacceptable to make chili.

    • Like 3
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  3. 48 minutes ago, Michelle Conde said:



    This is the only foreign tourist behavior that really bothers me.  I've had Asian tourists following us to take photos of my kids, trying to get their attention, and stepping around me reaching for them taking more pictures as I am actively stepping between the tourists and my kids asking them to stop.  I could get it if it were just that this was acceptable in their culture so they didn't realize it might be a problem, but trying to sidestep me to keep shooting pictures as I'm asking them to stop, and following us for ten, fifteen minutes through the crowds after we decided to leave the area to get away from them?

    Several years ago while visiting a somewhat touristy location, a couple from Beijing sat by as we were sitting down taking a break. Beijing was the only word we communicated, but the man was gushing over one of my boys, gesturing to take a picture with him. I asked DS if he felt uncomfortable and he said no. Maybe he though the attention was fun. But then out of nowhere this man gets touchy, patting on him and he totally patted DS's crotch area. I immediately stood up and left with my kids, wondering if I should call security. I didn't because I wasn't sure it really registered with DS what had just happened and I knew if I made a big deal out of it, the moment would be burned into his memory.  Never again will I let someone get near my kids again. I am still upset my mama bear instincts didn't kick in a few moments earlier.

    • Sad 4

  4. 7 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

    Omg that’s crazy.  I just can’t imagine stopping on the side of the road to take pics of wildlife.  

    So we visit my grandparents cabin in the mountains several times a year and we often see wildlife especially in one particular area on the way. While I may not take a picture, we definitely have to stop and watch because it's especially exciting for the littles in the back. I make no apologies for stopping and gawking when it makes my kids' day. 

    ** we are careful not to impede traffic

    • Like 1

  5. 4 hours ago, Quill said:

    Respectfully, as to the first point, yes, I know they were bred to attack other dogs and not humans. However, children playing with a dog or otherwise near their faces could very conceivably “trigger” the breed instinct because a five-year-old playing on the floor has more in common with another dog than with human adults. Not to mention cats or other dogs. I don’t want my dog to kill my cat or my niece’s Maltese any more than I want them to threaten children.

    I have seen sheepdogs try to “herd” toddlers - small children bring out the instinctive behavior because they resemble sheep more than adult humans. I absolutely would not own a dog that *could* think a child is their target for fighting. 

    As to your second point, you are certainly sadly correct about that, but that is exactly why I would not want a pit mix. The un neutered pit bulls who sire pups because they slipped out of the yard are highly likely to be owned by people with nefarious reasons for having a Pit. The shelters here are overly represented by pit mixes and hound mixes - there’s virtually nothing else. I never see, say, a Golden mix or a Collie mix. Because people who have those breeds nearly always alter them unless they are breeding stock. 

    This is also why I won’t get a previously-owned German Shepherd, even though I love the breed and had a wonderful Shepherd for 12 years. 

    And this is another thing that bothers me. The owners lied about it being a pit bull mix which makes me think the pit bull parent was NOT a fantastic family dog with great genetics. I mean, why lie about it? Unless they are just harder to sell in general. 

    Buyer still has the pup. But if my opinion is ever asked again, I won't hesitate to say that it's going to make me incredibly nervous in the coming years to have this dog at family events where toddlers and kids and other dogs are in attendance. 

    • Like 2

  6. While this thread had made me somewhat uncomfortable, it's also made me think about how our cultural practices (which may be neither right nor wrong) are interpreted in other cultures. Someone up thread mentioned greeting the shop owner in France as being he norm. Shopping at mostly large stores here, I don't think about greeting the store owner, though I see why that would be important in a small shop. And I can see why not doing so would be considered rude if I didn't while in France. But like I said, I don't think most of the cultural norms are right or wrong. They just are. I think we would all be better off if we extended international travelers some grace AND if we made an effort to "when in Rome, do as the Romans do."

    • Like 10

  7. 33 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

    buying a dog off craigslist in a parking lot from someone who "doesn't know" the full genetic breed of the dog doesn't spark me as someone willing to do the work to make sure they have a dog that is well bred (or spend the money)  - though I'm sure they'll pay more attention next time - and properly socialized. (regardless of the breed.)

    there is a window for socialization - it can be done afterwards, but is more difficult and takes more effort.

    I'd recommend they stick with reliable breeds.

    I am sure he won't ever do it again. He said as much. Their last dog was also an internet gamble, but he was such a fantastic family dog. I think he has realized that rolling those dice isn't worth it 

  8. 33 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

    and even then, running the risk it only takes a second for an uncontrolled dog to run down the street and injure someone.

    my dh was riding his bike on a main street - and someone's uncontrolled pitbull ran him down and knocked him into the street - fortunately there were no cars coming.  but there are times of day, it's nearly solid cars.  there was someone out there who gave all appearances of being the owner - and denied it.  police were called, guy and dog disappeared.

    eta: - the dog was on a side street, it left the side street to knock him down.

    I have a friend who was running down her street when 2 pitbulls attacked her. They wouldn't stop and a passerby let her jump in their car to get away from the dogs. A guy showed up, claimed the dogs belonged to his neighbor and left with the dogs. Friend went to the hospital,  but by the time the guy was tracked down (who was indeed the owner) the dogs were gone. His neighbor's security cameras showed the dogs getting out, going back in, and the owner scrubbing all evidence of the dogs from his backyard. The police wouldn't do anything. 

    • Sad 1

  9. 1 hour ago, Pen said:


    But if it is someone else’s dog, not a pretense that you are asking about someone else when it is yours, it’s not your call.  Is it?  

    He was the one who brought up possibly rehoming it. I told him I wouldn't blame him at all if he did. When I asked about it, he sounded like he was still considering it but the kids love it. The dog would rarely be at my house, but we are together on campouts and other gatherings. 

  10. I am not sure on the details of all the behaviors he is concerned about.  While I know that this dog could turn out to be an excellent family dog, I know that he would be disappointed if his temperament is such that he can't accompany them on all outings where others dogs and children are present. And it seems like with both of those breeds' stereotypes, it would be easier to have a dog breed who is more likely to have the temperament he's looking for. Obviously it's not my decision to make. I just know how he loves to take his dogs everywhere and would feel bad if he couldn't.

  11. This thread is making me quite self-conscious. I haven't done any international travelling since I was young and single, and I went to Central America where I stuck out like a sore thumb because of my looks. Now with 7 kids we can't go anywhere without making a spectacle of ourselves, even when the kids are well-behaved. A few months back we took a trip to some touristy scenic locations and even (especially?) the international visitors loudly and dramatically counted my children as we walked by. 😄

    This thread also has me pondering how much of our personalities are shaped by the culture we grow up in.


    • Like 4

  12. 3 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

    I'm not going to vote, because I'd want to see the puppy's behavior for myself before deciding. One incident alone--no, I can't make any determination at all just on that. It raises huge red flags for me about the owners that they thought a Pyreness and Mastiff mix would be a good fit for a pet home with young kids, and a dog who they could take to gatherings with lots of other dogs and kids around. Yikes!! That tells me they don't have much dog knowledge at all and didn't do any serious research on breeds. And it's another reason I wouldn't jump to accept their interpretation of what happened with the bone.

    But what I really wanted to address is the bolded part above, which is one of the biggest lies ever told in the dog world and drives me batty. See this --

    It's Not "All in How You Raise Them": The Role of Genetics in Behavior

    I was surprised by it because that was not a breed they had been talking about. Buyer admits it was impulsive. They just lost their family dog to old age who had been just fantastic for them. Buyer always has a dog, and has had several different breeds. Definitely a dog person who normally does a lot of research before jumping into something. Buyer is inclined to rehome but kids are attached now.

    • Like 1

  13. Please don't quote, may delete later.

    Moral of the story is don't buy puppies from craigslist and meet in parking lots for the transaction. But what's done is done.

    Seller said puppy was from an accidental litter with a French Mastiff and a Pyrenees. Buyer, just for fun, did a DNA test shortly after getting puppy and it came back as 50% American Staffordshire Terrier (aka: pitbull), 25% Pyrenees and the rest "other." If you google pitbull puppy, the pics look just like this pup. (DNA test did not require a picture sent in)  Buyer sent seller a nice text inquiring about this, asking if maybe they were wrong about the breed of either parent. Seller has not responded. 

    Buyer loves the pup but is concerned about some behaviors. At 10-12 weeks he is already showing food aggression. While being socialized with some other (much bigger) pups, he found a bone in the yard and was growling and very aggressive about it. 

    Buyer has young children and likes to take his dogs to large family gatherings where there are always lots of kids and often multiple other dogs. They often have neighbor kids over to play to the house. 

    So many people say that it's all about how you raise and train the pup and the breed shouldn't matter. Buyer obviously doesn't know anything about the temperament of either parent. Buyer is not a dog expert, beyond basic obedience training. 

    *I* am not the buyer, however, my family would be in contact with this dog on a regular basis. 

    Would YOU keep this puppy? 

  14. 1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

    Oh and a math sentence for you:

    quality of life > quantity of life

    I'm not a proponent of physician assisted suicide but I have read Being Mortal and will be satisfied to say enough is enough when it comes to medical treatment.

    (debate as you wish)

    I agree. 

    I am not going to make any decisions for anyone else, obviously. But I look at these elderly folks who take a handful of pharmaceuticals every day for age-related issues and wonder if it isn't just prolonging the inevitable. Six months ago we moved my dad in with a sibling. He wants to live at home but can't. He talks about wanting to pass on and be with my mom. He was recently diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia and he spends all day and all night fretting over things that don't need to be fretted over. He's paranoid and OCD about some things. It's hard. 

    I know we have a moral obligation to take care of our elders and I value every day we have with them to learn from them and to serve them.  But I also think quality > quantity when it comes to time with them. 

    For me, when I get to an age where my body starts to fail, I am going to refuse any pharmaceuticals meant to keep my body functioning so I can stick around longer. My kids will probably think I am crazy so I should probably get it in writing now. 😉

    • Like 1

  15. I'd wait. Let daddy do his thing. I agree about waiting till summer and he's older. However I would start talking up underwear. I have done this with most of my kids and I feel like it really helps. For months before *I* am reading to start potty training I start talking about underwear. "When you turn 3 (or pick your milestone) you get to wear big boy underwear! No more diapers! You'll get to go potty in the toilet!" Make it sound fun and exciting. We talked about it during diaper changes. Every few weeks we'd pull out the underwear and admire them.  And then  when the stars aligned and I was adequately prepared with chocolate and ther mommy motivational treats, I'd get rid of the dispers (or not get a new box) and start in underwear 24/7.

    • Like 1

  16. On 1/10/2020 at 6:13 AM, meena said:

    Great Food Fast by Bob Warden is a good one for recipes that aren’t too fussy. The pot roast recipe in this book is my favorite. 

    My all-time favorite dump-and-go instant pot meal is the Creamy “Baked” Ziti from Mels Kitchen Cafe. I keep the ingredients for this on hand and it is my emergency, don’t feel like cooking meal. You can make it with or without meat. If you use meat it does add a little more work because you have to sauté it and then scrape/deglaze the pot well in order to keep from getting an error message when you start pressure cooking. Mel also has other IP recipes on her site that look pretty easy and tasty. 

    I made this baked ziti the other night and everyone loved it. I doubled the recipe for my 8qt IP because I was feeding 10 people. I cooked 2 lbs of sausage on the stove and added it at the very end. We still have leftovers, but it was worth it.

    • Like 1

  17. I wanted to be a teacher and I became a teacher. Then I became a SAHM and now a homeschooling SAHM. 

    If I ever reenter the workforce I don't want to go back to teaching. At least not in public schools. Too much politics. I daydream about possibly becoming an IBCLC but that sounds like a lot of work to get there, so we shall see. 

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