[OH, BABY! Essentials for gift]

My go to is always diapers and wipes - something that is always need and you can never have too many.

[How picky are your kids 🤣]

My oldest has always been quite picky, and she is one of those kids with AU that will go hungry rather than eat something she doesn’t like. That caused her doctor some concerns over the years, but she lives on her own now and buys her own food, so she can eat whatever she wants. My DS was picky as a young kid, but once he hit puberty, he grew so much so fast that he was always hungry and learned to branch out. He is probably now the most adventurous eater of us all now.

[Wedding in less than 3 weeks-- my head is about to explode!]

Another option for food might be a local grocery store. Even where I live in the middle of no where the grocery has a pretty good selection for f hot and cold deli items.

[Where would you find this - a sleeveless floor length nylon nightgown?]

So, what is she going to do if you can’t find something that meets all her criteria? (Please ignore if your not in the mood for humor) 

[Growing pains in tween?]

My DS had issues with his hands in middle school and did a stint of PT/OT for it. He was growing through a huge rapid growth spirt, and the therapist explained that his bones were growing faster than the muscles and tendons causing his pain. As his growth slowed down and his muscles caught up the pain eventually went away.

[Gas cooktop vs induction]

It sounds like you plan to use the gas for other purposes besides just cooking. In that case, it makes sense to me. Even though I have used a gas stove for most all my adult life, I don’t know that I would go to the expense of adding gas lines to a home just for cooking. 

[Moral dilemma help, please]

I think the organization has to act on the side of the other children who may be affected even if that means they did not follow their own policies exactly. Good for them. It is up to the aggressor’s family to fight that battle and I would stay out of it.

 

[SIL getting my son job ads… he’s 12]

I am assuming that this has way more to do with how you are treated by your DH and his family and less to do with the job add that was sent to your 12 yr old. How many 12 yr olds are going to pay any attention to an advertisement for a job when the have many years before they will need a job? 

I think this is just one more straw being piled up on your back until you break. They have no respect for you and it doesn’t seem like they ever will. I don’t have any advice or suggestions for you, but I feel for you.

[uber/lyft. . .]

The first time I used Uber by myself I was terrified, but I made it through. Do you live in a place that has Uber so you could practice in advance? 

[Having one car or two? Also, finally debt free]

We have more cars than drivers, but the newest vehicle we own is a 2008, and some have very high mileage. Seems like there is always one or more vehicles needing some repair, but nothing outrageous.  I know our way wouldn’t work for a lot of people, but we have gotten some great deals on older cars with decent mileage. I find it much less stressful to always be looking for the next good deal that when we had to purchase a car on short notice and take the best we could get that week. 

[UPDATE-Has anyone been asked to accept a loan for the purpose of protecting assets during Medicaid approval process?]

The loan thing seems a little shaded to me. When we went through this  with my MIL, and then with my parents, there was talk of a trust being set up, but nothing about loans. My DH did do the trust thing for his mom. My parents both died before needing to apply for Medicaid.

[When the ex-boyfriend's mom posts on facebook.]

I think it is weird that she posted about a high school kid “looking for his next family”. What mother wants their 17yr old yo be looking for a “next family”. That sounds like they are way too serious about teen dating, and that your DD is better off not being so involved with them.

[Laptop recommendations?]

The last laptop I bought was from the Dell outlet. It has been several years but it is still working great. I did have to have it repaired under warranty (motherboard) but the customer service for that was great. 

[Daughter has trouble drawing or writing on right side of paper]

Is this a new thing? If so, I would make a dr appointment asap. Could be sign of stroke or other brain damage.

If this has always been a problem, then yes to getting vision exam. There are several possible vision issues that could be in play beyond the previous post. 

[Things that are nice to have, but you could live without if necessary]

After reading all the replies, I realized that much of my life is convenience items that could be given up if necessary. This includes prepared foods, cleaning supplies, paper products, hobbies, internet/streaming, electric and natural gas heating, even pets (wouldn’t get rid of current pet but could choose not to get another). If there was a true financial emergency, I could cut our budget a huge amount, but L am thankful that I don’t need to do that right now.

[What to plant?]

I haven’t found anything the deer won’t eat if they are hungry enough or curious enough. Even the deer-resistant plants get eaten eventually. ☹️

[If you only had to buy food for just yourself…]

It would be cheaper just because of the lower volume of food, but I’d likely make the same kinds of things I do now just with more left over for later.

[Have you sold a coin collection?]

My DH sold his father’s coin collection a few years back, and got about $250. Individually there were no super valuable coins just old coins, some silver, and some proof sets. He got above face value but not a lot.

[Relocating with teenagers?]

My DD was 16 when we moved from a big city to a rural, small town. She was not homeschooled. There were goods and bads to the move, but overall for her it was a good move. She was always a little bit “different” for lack of a better word. (She was diagnosed as having autism as an adult). While she did not make any close friend at school, the kids did go out of their way to include her, and I think she had a much better high school experience because of that. As an adult, she is able to be much more independent here that she would be back in our “big city”. I think she will probably stay living in this town most of her life.
 

On the other hand, my DS was 9 when we moved and did not have such a good experience with his class. After 2 years of the local public school, he did online school for 5 years until he was able to drive himself to a hybrid school over an hour away. Then Covid hit his senior year. He is officially moving out this week to share a house with some friend from his high school. I do not expect him to ver live in this town again (maybe temporarily, but he has plan should this move not work out).

When I look back at our choice to move, I do feel conflicted that the move was a good thing for DD but not for DS. I would never have guess that it would have turned out that way. 
 

I do think this would be a difficult place for homeschooler to break into. The school is the community. The very few families who do or have homeschooled have all attended the local public school at one time.

[Swedish dishcloths, sponges, Scrub Daddies, old-school dishcloths?]

I use mostly the blue two-sided sponges. (Supposedly non-scratch) I run them through the dishwasher with the dishes. Then I have some heavier scrubbers for when needed. I don’t have scrub daddy sponges, but I do have an Angry Mama microwave cleaner that started with a family joke and makes me smile when I use her. 

[S/o sort of, Life with no car]

I grew up in a small town in West Virginia that was not bad to get around without a car as long as you lived in town. My best friend in middle school family did not own a car. I do remember her mom using the taxi service in the early 80’s for trips to the grocery store. They even lived around the block from the laundry mat, so doing laundry wasn’t horrible. As young teens we could walk all over the main part of town. Everything was within about a 5 mile radius. There was some public transportation to get to further out parts of town, but it was limited.

Now, Houston is/was one of the most pedestrian unfriendly cities. Public transportation is only convenient in specific locations as would be biking to work or school. However, being car less is much more doable with the advent of Uber. I do know a single guy that lives in the far northwest of the Houston area and uses Uber for everything including getting to work downtown. He spends a lot on Uber, but he figured out that it was still cheaper that owning a car. I think that would be much harder if he had a family.

I live in a rural small town now. There is little traffic except for the one main road in and out of time. During the warmer months, kids are walking and biking all over. It has a small family grocery store and a dollar store, a coffee shop, a couple of restaurants, and even a medical clinic. It would be easy to get by without a car for a time. I’ve done that myself when cars were in the shop, but there are times when a vehicle is absolutely necessary for services in neighboring towns. I do think it is a good place for those with some family support to live mostly independently such as the elderly who cannot drive much(or wouldn’t be able to be driving in a bigger city) or people with some disabilities that make driving difficult. There is no public transportation or Uber here at all.

[S/O midlife crisis]

2 hours ago, WildflowerMom said:

  The only thing I’ll add is that I am extremely interested in s*x all the time.  I assume this is hormonal.   Dh is happy about it, obvs.   But in that regard, I feel like I’m 20 again.  It’s kind of crazy.   But 100% on everything you said.   It’s a crazy time of life right now for me.   

Thank you! I was embarrassed to say this when the other posts seemed so down. This was not a symptom I was expecting based on what I hear from most other women. 
 

[Do you have cell service?]

No problems with ATT/FirstNet here yet, but I live about as far away from a big city as is possible in the US. I just called my DH to check. Some of his co workers had heard about the problem but haven’t experienced anything yet. He did say that he saw an ATT truck heading toward one of the towers.

Also, that may explain why my DS text are coming through iMessage on my iPad faster that the phone. Usually it is opposite.

[Musings on perception of affluence and acceptable spending]

Yeah, it is all about choices, but it sure is annoying when other people make comments about your own family choices whether it is about spending or other things.
 

When my DD (soon to be 29) was a baby my MIL used to make comments about how good it was that my SIL stayed home with her child and golden grandchild did not have to go today care and instead went to some posh mothers-day-out program 2 or 3 days a week. One day I got fed up and agreed with her that it was nice for SIL and golden grandchild that BIL made such good money that they could afford a house, 2 cars, a stay at home mom, and mothers-day-out. Unfortunately her own son as a rookie policeman did not make that much money, and if I did not use the college education that I paid for and work as a teacher, we would have to move into the income based apartments down the street, have one car that we shared, and would not be able to put DD in a pre-school of any kind. My MIL never said anything about our financial choices again. 

[Punnet squares in math?]

As a former 4th grade math teacher, I think that the area model works well for students (and parents) who do not understand why the traditional algorithm works. I never had a student who could not eventually transistion from area models to the standard algorithm, and seems to have a higher initial success rate over students who just memorize what I called a “recipe” and then struggle to remember where to put seeming random zeros (I know they are not random, but those students do not) and what to carry when. I never forced students who were successful with the traditional method to use area models outside of the initial introduction. 
 

While some parents balked at first, most were fine with it when I could verbalize why I felt area models were beneficial, and I included what Wendy mentioned above about the same method being used when multiplying polynomials.