City Mouse
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Posts posted by City Mouse
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I agree that Red Cross babysitter classes is a good place to start. Then she needs to get experience in caring for children. Most states require child care workers to be at least 18ys old, but she can volunteer. Day camps/scout camps/VBS are all good places to start getting that experience.
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1 hour ago, Tenaj said:
Thirty minutes after the first call, I received another call that the surgeon had extended her hospital stay for three possibly 4 nights at which point she will qualify for the skilled nursing facility? I don't understand but didn't have time to run back to the hospital this afternoon but was assured that this "workaround" would accomplish what we needed.
For all saying that ai just need to refuse to take her home that was what I told the person during the first call. I told her that I absolutely could not take her home and did not have the skill or manpower to manage her needs. I don't know if that made a difference or not.
This morning it two people to get her up and two people just to have her scoot her butt back further into her chair. My bad back and I are not up to it and I won't do it.
Oh yes, I forgot about this.
in order for Medicare to pay for skilled nursing, the patient has to be in the hospital for a set amount of time. I think it is for something like 3- 24hrs (so 3 full days by the clock not calendar). If the patient is discharged sooner then Medicare will not pay.
Also, the amount of time that Medicare will cover in skilled nursing varies. It is a maximum of 180 days, but not many people get that amount of time. When I was going through this with my parents I was told that 14 days (or maybe 21) is pretty much automatic. after that, it depends on the person’s progress and the insurance company. My parents had traditional Medicare with a supplemental policy through AARP. We were lucky as that combination is more likely to approve more time. I was told that Medicare Advantage companies are quicker to kick people off. My mom was allowed 60 days of Medicare coverage, and she was making very little progress in the rehab/therapy. She was not approved for in-patient (in hospital) rehab because she could not meet the requirements of 3+ hrs per day of therapies so she went straight to skilled nursing with PT and OT. About a year earlier, my dad was initially approved for in-patient rehab but after being there about 1 week, the unit was shut down completely due to a Covid outbreak. He then moved to skilled-nursing rehab for about a month. Physically my dad was very high functioning compared to most of the other patients in the skilled nursing. After about 4 weeks, he went back to AL and continued out-patient therapy there. Medicare had not cut him off yet, but he didn’t need the extra care from SN.
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I think that is a lot to expect out of current 16yr old- especially after Covid shut downs. Teachers all over have observed a lack or, or lower level of, social skills in tweens and teens that is attributed to the shut downs. Add that to the fact that teens communicate much more by texting than calling, and I am not surprised that phone skills do not come easy to her.
Now, that does not mean that a small business has to be the ones to teach her those skills.
My DS once was let go from a job at a small mom and pop business because he needed more “hand holding” to learn the job. I used to work at the same place, and I understand. They needed someone who could learn the job and become independent very quickly. DS couldn’t, and that’s ok. He proceeded to find a job at a larger place that could afford to take the time that he needed to learn the job. As a mom, I was hurt for my DS as he is willing to work hard but just needed more support which he found at a different business.
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My sister has that. It was discovered when she was a young teenager and had super high blood pressure due to blood vessel that was becomeing restricted. Then, and another 1 or 2 times over the past 40 years, she has had to undergo a procedure where a balloon is inserted through (I think from the groin area) the blood vessels to the blockage and used to expand the restricted vessel. Other than monitoring her blood pressure regularly, she has had no other restrictions or problems.
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I use them all the time now. I one skillet and a small griddle that we use to heat tortillas that sit out on the stove all the time. The others are used less often but still occasionally. The cast iron skillets were one of the few things I wanted from my MIL when she moved to assisted living.
Over the years,I thought I wanted “fancy” pots and pans, but after going through several sets in the last 20 years, I am back to Revereware (the old stuff) and cast iron.
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Are you just looking for “regular” tips to cut back, or is this a serious lack of funds?
I shop for clearance items - produce, meats, and bread products. I never buy meat at regular price. Shopping based on sale items and electronic coupons. Even the more expensive stores will have good sales, but I have to be disciplined enough to only buy the specific sale items at those stores. Eating what is cheap and on sale rather than buying items for a set menu, and stocking up when items are on sale like the case sales at my Smith’s/Kroger store.
When I was a kid and things were very, very tight, my mom rationed food. Generally, people in the US eat more food than they really need. We were only allowed to have one glass of milk with breakfast. Then we got milk for lunch at school. That was it. Almost no snacking. One whole chicken was cut up to feed 8 people. Pasta meals using 1 lb of hamburger meat for 8 people. We had a big (1/2 acre) vegetable garden with lots of canning going on in the summer. The discount bread store was a blessing. We almost always had enough bread products. The downside of such scarcity was that I, and some of my siblings, developed bad habits around overeating when food was more plentiful.
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Unfortunately, there is a lot a variation among different states.
In some states, domestic violence suspects are not held long, if at all, if the other party won’t press charges. In many cases, an overnight in jail is the best the police can do. There are other states where the state will press charges even if the complaintant won’t. Mental health holds can be even harder. A person who has experience with the system often knows exactly what to say to avoid a psyc hold even if what they say is not true.I live in a state with decent domestic violence laws, but horrible mental health care. My DH is a police officer. More than once he has told me stories of people taken to the hospital for mental health issues who are released and later attempted suicide.
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Something I thought of is maybe you are giving her too much information at once. Which my own kids it was better to break things up and just say something like “You will apply to x number of jobs per week until you are working” or “this week you will apply to x and y”.
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And be prepared for the anesthesia and pain medications to make the dementia worse. I won’t scare you with the details of my dad’s hospitalizations, but it was horrible because of the psychosis, sun downing, or what ever you call it. Having a family member stay with him all the time just made everything worse because he still recognized us and expected help to leave the hospital. The someone at the hospital told me that it was better not to stay if it wasn’t making anything better for him (it didn’t at those times). Instead we had people there all during the day when he did enjoy having company.
As stated above, it was more difficult to get information from the medical staff if we weren’t in the room when they came by. When I was out of town and my mom was in the hospital, the person who stayed with her would put me on speaker phone any time a doctor came in the room.-
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4 minutes ago, Ottakee said:
It is not as good as McDonalds 😀
Is it the ice rather than the tea? I love me some Sonic iced tea, but the ice is a big part of what makes it so good.
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What is “not good” about the tea you make?
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22 minutes ago, DawnM said:
That's only half the problem. The other part is that they really don't want to help. It really irks me. They complain constantly about anything she asks for help for. She can't drive, and neither can the boyfriend, so she has to have rides to get food, doctors' visits, anything. She struggles even to get them to pick up an online order for her. It makes me want to scream.
Do you know that they complain? Like have you heard them, or are you just going by what your friend tells you? There is the possibility that her version is not the full version. I won’t write of novel of my own experiences, but she may not be sharing their point of view with you.
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Well, I’ve been wanting to go to Meow Wolf in Grapevine. https://meowwolf.com/visit/grapevine
This is a bit outside of the area, but it was a fun stop. https://thepinkpistol.com/
There is a great Cajun restaurant in Marshall that I love, but that might be too far out of the way.
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I do not think you are unreasonable to expect your adult child to do chores at home when he isn’t working or going to school. I am assuming that you are providing for him financially and materially while he is at school and while he is at home. The only suggestion I have that worked better for me than assigning chores was to give unemployed adult child an expectation of how much work was expected and let that person choose from a set of tasks that need to be completed. For example, that person might prefer lawn care tasks over laundry. It didn’t really matter what tasks were accomplished as long as something was done. Also, taking care of their own s***t was an expectation from early on, so personal cleaning including their bathroom and bedroom was always expected.
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Could you take turns planning the meals and eating out? Also, since she has not spent much time out of her home country, what about fixing the foods that are traditional to your family such a a cookout with burgers and hot dogs, bbq, or whatever regional specialties. Then have them make a meal or two for everyone that is typical of where she comes from or that she likes.
Breakfast and lunches could be even less formal. Provide the foods you would typically have for breakfast. One or days you could have a hot breakfast of your choosing and then let them cook breakfast one day.
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The information you were given sounds a little sketchy to me, but it could just be that the person at the nursing home that was explaining doesn’t have a good understanding of what can be done to qualify for Medicaid while retaining some assets. Simply Putting all assets in the other spouse’s name does not qualify someone for Medicaid. The spouse would still be responsible for paying for needed care. However, there is a way to put some assets in a special kind of trust which allows the person to qualify for Medicaid earlier.
I am happy to share more of what I have learned while dealing with my parents, but I don’t have time this morning.My suggestion would be to consult an attorney that specializes in estate planning/elderly that isnt specifically recommended by the current nursing home. Also, if the person is a Veteran, there may be VA benefits that could be available before that person would qualify for Medicaid.
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19 minutes ago, dirty ethel rackham said:
This is pretty much what my husband told her. Dd is normally someone with good instincts and boundaries, but this is the first meeting where she was there as a resource and she was wearing her "customer service" persona. The badgering and the personal guilt trip got out of hand right away and took her off guard.
Unfortunately, it will get easier for her to handle such situations.
As a teacher, I still remember the very first “crazy” irate parent that I had to deal with very early on in my career. That single event caused me to set up boundaries with parents that I have kept up for nearly 30 years, and teachers who have not had the same experience do not understand.-
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I’m not paying attention to the trial at all, but in her later years my mom would flat out ignore anything that she didn’t want to hear. Sometimes she would close her eyes but not always. It was as if I wasn’t even in the room.
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It will be okay.
unofficially, there is usually a bit of stretch allowed with the height/weight limit as long as you are not near the maximum limit. I do know that the max is a hard and fast rule due to the limitations of air evacuations. The kids will be fine, and even if there are minor injuries, Philmont knows how to handle most everything. Lots of kids, and adults come with very little preparation, so you are already ahead of the game. There is a system in place to handle participants who have injuries that require just a couple of days off the trail then can rejoin their group at the next stop.
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I think relying on the government to take care of everything isn’t going to work. It will have to be a combination of government agencies, volunteer agencies, and family/community members helping. On top of that, the elder has to be willing to ask for and/or even be willing to use the services that are available. I have seen both sides - the elderly person who doesnt want to burden others so doesnt ask for help from anyone until there is a crisis that requires intervention, the elderly person who only wants specific people or person to provide all assistance and refuses all government and community services until a crisis happens and she has no choice, and then there is the elderly person who refuses to admit that any assistance is needed.
There is no way to make the “system” work for every person.
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I can’t remember how to do it but there is a way to turn off purchasing for apps and still be able to purchase directly through Amazon. I set that up on my own phone after accidentally making a couple of game purchases.
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Florida Keys - The closer you get to Key West the more expensive lodging will be. Yes, it is hot in the summer months but no worse than Houston summers for the most part. I only had the opportunity for a short visit, so we did a Key West tour bus thing that allowed you to get off and back on at the different spots, and we did a glass bottom boat tour. Many people on our boat tour got sea sick, but I didn’t have any trouble. Then we walked around a lot. Went to a botanical garden place that had butterflies. It is a long drive from the mainland to Key West with lots of bridges, but the longest bride is Seven Mile bridge, so not as long as the lake Ponchartrain bridge. Also, I think keys bridges are closer to the water but I could be wrong on that. There are some places to park and get out and walk along the old bridge if you like that. I really wanted to go out to the Dry Tortugas National Park, but that it an all day trip, and we didn’t have time.
4 Courners - Also gets very hot in summer but not near as humid as Keys. Winter is better temps, but you could end up snuck in snowstorms trying to get to the area. Farmington, NM is probably the closest largest town with the most affordable accommodations, but depending on where you want to go, it is more likely that you would want to drive and stay at different locations along the way.
Clothing- we always plan to do laundry on long road trips. I’ve never really had a problem finding a place to do laundry.
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Both my parents had cell phones and both had dementia. As they each declined, they lost their ability to used the phones, but they still wanted the phone near by.
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I have an iPad mini. I find the regular size iPad too big and heavy to hold with one hand. The mini fits in my purse and doesn’t make my shoulder hurt.
Weight loss in middle age and beyond
in The Chat Board
Posted
The only thing that ever worked for me to lose more than maybe 20lbs was one of those extremely low calorie meal replacements plans were you mostly only eat what is purchased directly from the company. It was expensive to me, and the price of the meal replacements keeps going up, but most products were decent tasting. I lost about 75 lbs that way. Since I stopped that, my weight has gone up and down, but right now I hover 45-50 lbs lower that my highest weight.
I think about going back to that plan to lose this 25lbs but it is quite expensive. I just keep plugging along with a combination of WW and MyFitnessPal.