SanDiegoMom
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Posts posted by SanDiegoMom
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4 hours ago, Innisfree said:
I’m curious about the origins of this academic disparity, which I certainly see IRL. The conservative media criticize liberal culture on campus. Are more males than females buying into this assertion, and therefore choosing not to attend college? Are they more likely to see trades, which are traditionally male and often highly physical, as reasonable alternatives to academic paths? Are women just benefiting from the generations-long push to better their situations and therefore more committed to education? College used to be the route to advancement for men as well as women, and if you define advancement as people did in previous generations, it still is. Why do men in particular opt out?
If I had to guess I would say the continual decrease in the trade types of jobs along with school becoming even more academic and test-focused with fewer vocational type options. Richard Reeves wrote a book about this and more in his book: Amazon.com: Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It: 9780815739876: Reeves, Richard V., Reeves, Richard V.: Books. Here is one stark statistic regarding how dangerous it is to be male:
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Public transit is a whole different animal. I absolutely believethere can be a much greater chance of having uncomfortable encounters. But not necessarily dangerous ones - just uncomfortable.
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3 hours ago, Heartstrings said:
You seriously take no precautions for safety? You don’t park under lights if you’re leaving after dark, or make sure to have your keys out?
You let your kids go to whoever’s house and spend the night?I have done the first in the past and we didn't do sleepovers because it's not really a thing in the circles now -- she has done them in the past but I just don't see a scenario where I DON'T know the person. However, tbh I would probably be more cautious about the sleepover than the other examples -- nighttime in the parking lot, peeking into the back seat of the car (that seems the most extreme to me - the car is locked, what the heck).
I run at night occasionally and did so in college even while we had a serial rapist who hadn't been caught - I took reasonable precautions and would expect my daughter to do so as well if she ever took up running. I would be more worried about one of us getting bitten by a rattlesnake on our local trail or running out of water than being harmed by someone I met running solo.
There is a memorial nearby of a high school girl that was raped and murdered on a trail during a solo run. I think of her and her family when I run past, but it doesn't affect my sense of safety one bit. If I am going to worry about safety, I will worry about something that is much more likely to happen, such as a traffic accident.
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8 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:
When you tell your beautiful 16 year old daughter to be careful leaving work after dark, are you worried about bears or a man?? What about at the gas station or rest area? Running after dark?
When you get your keys out and ready and peak in the back seat before getting your car, are you concerned about a man or a bear?
Not all men, but enough to cautious about strange ones.
Most people are good. But no one lets strangers babysit for a reason.
Most people are good, but you don’t pick up hitchhikers for a reason.
Most people are good, but how many of us don’t allow sleepovers?This to me sounds like a crippling amount of fear as opposed to normal caution, tbh. I wouldn't want to live in such fear, and I don't think such fears are statistically grounded in reality. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence
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I think there are communities out there everywhere ranging from unhealthy to harmless to healthy. How much attention we pay to them doesn’t mean that they have that much more influence or are that much of a problem for our society. I mean, my older daughter spends more time than she should on Reddit but she sought out positive communities. She’s been lurking in a men’s boot community for some reason and told me how heat warming it was to listen to them talk so earnestly about boot quality. They even expressed frustration when comparing the quality of their boots to the same brand made for women and how it was unfair. But that type of forum won’t get much engagement because it doesn’t have the potential for emotional clickbait.
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Makes Jordan Peterson look much more appealing, lol.
I think there is a big void right now in terms of modeling upright, valuable male behavior - especially in liberal circles. I have very much had to counteract some of the accepted ideas that my kids were picking up at school. My son is an extremely sensitive young man, afraid of hurting anyone, and for a little while between age 14-16 he was receiving some messages about being a white male that were pretty negative. It's far too easy to make jokes and call it "punching up", but when you are a young, sensitive boy who internalizes most things, that can be pretty destructive. Luckily I noticed and spent some time building him back up. He is now much more secure in himself.
When it comes to teenagers, some of the ones flocking to Andrew Tate are the ones who are lacking any other role model right now, and are being told by society that they are the root of all problems. And the ones getting radicalized are the same as ones getting radicalized into anything else -- hurt, depressed and lonely people with giant holes in their lives who are trying to distract themselves, get sucked into a new set of beliefs and over time adopt and mimic them.
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Autism aside, sometimes people just make stupid judgement calls, period. My husband is neurotypical, and as an adult in the military was surrounded by people playing practical jokes. He played one on me similar to the email situation -- I emailed my kid's Kindergarten teacher about a situation I was incredibly nervous about. I found it very difficult to be the squeaky wheel at school and I had a lot of social anxiety. He created a fake email address from her and sent back a reply that was somewhat harsh, and that he thought for sure I would be able to tell was not from her. I was devastated. Even after he apologized profusely, it still hung over me as if she HAD written it. It took a long time to shake! We laugh about it 1now 3 years later, but that is an example of how people still are finding the boundaries of what's acceptable even as adults!
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2 hours ago, rzberrymom said:
Congrats!!!!!🎉 Almost all of my kids’ friends at UCLA turned down Berkeley. One even turned down a Regents there!? I went to Berkeley in the 90s and that would have been unheard of. The tide has definitely turned!!!
Yep! Though if it had been my oldest, she probably would have gone even now if she had been accepted. But my son is a little more sheltered, wants to be closer to home, and likes the four year housing guarantee (even if we don’t end up using it, it’s nice to know it’s possible). And Terence Tao is a big draw!
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3 minutes ago, kbutton said:
I live with three people with ADHD. We have a lot of expensive documentation spanning multiple timeframes. Documentation necessary for diagnosis that is not always covered by insurance.
BTDT
There are also PLENTY of medical conditions that are subjective. There are plenty of objective conditions that people are doubted for.
I don’t think most doctors would be in business long if they didn’t accept the vast majority of existing diagnoses that come their way because patients and insurance companies would get tired of watching which way the wind blows. Do they change treatment plans sometimes to optimize new information or being fresh eyes? Sure!
But with the drug being one that could possibly be abused, I can understand a new doctor being hesitant.
I would assume length of diagnosis and length of treatment would be something a doctor would take into account. Long standing diagnosis and stable on a med for years would look very different compared to say a recent diagnosis of a college student and a not very robust medicine history. It sounds like the OP's son had a diagnosis as a child, was prescribed meds but was not taking them currently. My daughter has been diagnosed twice, at age 18 and 19, and is now 24 and was stable on Vyvanse for about four years before getting her next psychiatrist. The psychiatrist accepted the two diagnoses and current treatment plan, while the OP's son does not have a current diagnosis or a current treatment plan. 🤷♀️
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My son committed to UCLA yesterday! Then he went and declined the rest of the schools he was accepted to. Berkeley was the toughest to find the withdrawal button - we joked that they probably couldn't believe someone would be declining admission! The rest were much easier to find. 🙂
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13 minutes ago, kbutton said:
I can’t fathom someone making my kid get re-diagnosed for his genetic condition ($$$), nor do I think insurance would allow it. If my kid’s orthopod retired, does that mean my son has to give back his scoliosis rods because the next doctor didn’t personally implant them?
There must be standards to meet if someone doubts a diagnosis.
I don’t think people with ADHD should have to jump through significantly higher hoops than people with other conditions have to.
There is not a medical test for Adhd -- it is much more subjective - based on parent report, patient report, and psychologist's own analysis. Unfortunately, not all psychologists are created equal, and some are laxer with their diagnosing.
Plus, there's not exactly a hot market for scoliosis rods.
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My twins aren't super close. We homeschooled so they did play together, and they like each other, but they literally have nothing in common and interact socially with others in very different ways.
Have a kid if you want one, but don't expect them to be friends just because of the age gap or lack thereof.
My daughters at ages 18 and 24, six years apart, have more in common and more to talk about than the two 18-year-olds, in point of fact.
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21 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:
Nandina leaves and fruit are high in cyanide, and can harm birds. I am glad you are looking for alternatives.
Dwarf spirea stays in that 2’-3’ size at maturity.
I just had planted four nandinas, (eek) so I went to learn more about this. From what I have discovered, there is only one documented occurrence from one specific type of bird (cedar waxwing). This blog style article quotes from another bird researcher:
“Other birds don’t eat as much or as rapidly as cedar waxwings,” said Rhiannon Crain, project leader for the Habitat Network with The Nature Conservancy and Cornell Lab of Ornithology…Cedar waxwings completely stuff every possible part of their body with berries. They will fill their stomach and their crop with berries right up into their mouth until they can’t fit another berry inside of them.”
It isn’t just Nandina berries. Consider the following other incidents with cedar waxwings: South Dakota: killed by eating Cotoneaster flowers; in Nebraska, killed by eating crabapples and cotoneasters; in Indiana: ethanol poisoning from overwintered hawthorn fruit; Texas, killed by gorging on blueberries along a highway.
“They’re cedar waxwings,” said Capt. Garry Collins of Texas Parks & Wildlife, rather nonchalantly. “It’s a natural phenomenon. “It’s seasonal. Happens nearly every year.”
The Truth about Nandinas Killing Birds - GardenRant
"Ironically, until that fatal day in 2009, nandinas were widely touted as excellent bird food. Those poor cedar waxwings had nothing at all in their tummies but nandina berries, while millions of birds have enjoyed a mixed diet including some nandina berries over the past two centuries. Too much of a good thing can be fatal. While just swallowing a few whole won’t harm you, actually chewing and eating quantities of seeds or pits from apples, cherries, apricots, pears, peaches or plums can make you sick or even kill you. "
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2 hours ago, MEmama said:
I wonder why it varies so much? Also if he's on vyvanse it's unlikely he's selling it; our doctor likes to try vyvanse first with students because it's not like adderall and not as tempting (not that DS would do that, I just found it interesting).
Enterprising ppl can still break it open and (snort? ingest?) the contents so they feel the effects more strongly/quickly. Gotta love the ingenuity. 🤦♀️
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My daughter was diagnosed by a psychologist and needed a second diagnosis when she started with a new on campus doctor. When she started law school she read the undergraduate rules for getting meds and they required a new diagnosis as well. She is seeing an outside psychiatrist who accepted both her diagnoses and did not make her re-test.
I would find every six months ridiculous, but I am becoming not as unsympathetic to wanting to retest. My daughter has now experienced three or four young adults in her life who have gone through a very shoddy process of evaluation and have been prescribed adhd meds. Though you can never really know what's going on in a person's brain, one of them was her roommate for two years and it was very clear she did not struggle with adhd. It is very frustrating to my dd whose Adhd impacts her life in a substantial way, who has achieved so much more (with so much less stress) because of the meds, to see others who really don't need them get prescribed them. And then suddenly we have a national shortage. 🤷♀️
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3 hours ago, Laura Corin said:
Starbucks tastes burnt to me. I'm not keen.
My daughter was a barista for Peets and now that's all I drink. I can't do SB anymore. But my husband still goes occasionally and my son will sometimes get himself a frappachino!
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3 hours ago, Homeschoolingmy3boys said:
I'd love to hear your path of your son and the courses he has taken so far. Thanks so much!
Sure! We homeschooled 3-8 and he was a total Art of Problem Solving kid.
Math: 3rd and fourth grade AOPS PreA, 5th AOPS Algebra A (first half of book), 6th grade AOPS online Algebra B first semester and online Geometry second semester, 7th grade Aops online Intermediate Algebra, (summer was Python courses and some intro to number theory work from the book), 8th grade AOPS online Precalculus (fall) and Intermediate Number Theory (spring), 9th grade he was in Public School but it was zoom, so he took AOPS Calc rather than attend zoom classes. (the teacher was retiring and just recorded the lectures and didn't insist on attendance. Gave everyone an A. ) 10th grade was AP stats, summer was Calc 3 at CC, 11th grade Spring was Linear Algebra and summer was Diff EQ.
He took the AMC a few times, and the AIME in his 11th and 12th grade year. He didn't study too much though, so he really could have done better. But he's really thrown himself into clubs and organizations, and also really enjoys his video games, so something had to give, lol.
Science: 7th grade was Jetta's Physics class with Clover Creek, 8th grade was Clover Valley Honors Chem, and 9th grade he took Intro to Organic and BioChem through Clover Valley. 10th grade he took AP physics C Mechanics, and 11th grade AP Physics C E and M. This year he's taking AP Bio.
I would say AOPS was the most challenging in the amount of failure he experienced, while Clover Valley was the most aligned with what you would want in the best high school or college class. So organized, very clear in expectations, Connie is always available when you have questions, discussion board is always answered promptly, midterms and finals (honors level and intro to Org and biochem) were commensurate with a college level class in the amount of preparation expected. I think it was the best preparation for college level workload - I only hope he remembers it since it's been three years! In contrast, he never needed to do homework or study for physics. Of course physics is most math heavy I guess and he loves math:)
He's now going to UCLA in the fall as a math major.
His twin sister is not as academic but she loved the Well Trained Mind Academy Biology class. I felt like their classes were extremely well organized as well, clear expectations, and very accessible teacher. (She had Mrs Bennett, I think her name was?) She also did AOPS while homeschooling, though we did it together and cut out ALL the challenging problems. Alcumus set on easy. She then went into Integrated Math in 9th grade, and every time the math covered something she had learned through AOPS, she knew it backwards and forwards. The rest of it she felt a little at sea the whole time. Public school math is pretty subpar in the experiences we have had - 4 different schools.
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Just now, Arcadia said:
DS19 took two math class and one physics class but that was way back in 2018
I can't believe it's been that long since I've been following yours, Lewelma's and Quark's math journeys to help with our own! And now ours is done. Bittersweet!
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Jetta's Clover Creek Physics was awesome and Dicentra's Clover Valley Chemistry was absolutely top notch, and well organized beyond belief.
Oh sorry, you asked for Christian. Well, I will leave these here as they were my son's favorite courses other than AOPS. The chemistry course in particular was extremely rigorous with one very detailed college level lab report (took my son probably 8-10 hours). My son worked harder in her class (granted he was in 8th for Hon Chem and 9th for Intro to Org Chem) than he did in any of his AP classes, even AP physics C.
Good luck in your search!
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I only know that @Arcadia had one of her DC take a class through them. I can't think of anyone else off the top of my head that did -- we considered it but decided against it in favor of more AOPS.
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I'm a 2.5 I drive 5-7 miles over, sometimes more if it's pretty open, but I hate getting close to other cars so I always give multiple car lengths. My husband is a 3, and I do sometimes get nervous. But he can handle a lot more input than I, has great reflexes, doesn't text and drive, never gets mad or aggressive, and has been in a LOT of life or death situations before... so I try to give him a pass. If I'm really anxious I will ask him to drive more slowly, but usually I put my airpods in and listen to a podcast while playing 2048 on my phone.
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15 hours ago, Roadrunner said:
Gosh, I can’t imagine it being any lesser than AP Calculus, which really all it takes for the 1 series. UCLa runs honors sequence in Calc and physics for those majoring in these areas and needing Caltech level learning. Regular 1 series isn’t that.
It looks like the Math 3 series is slower (three classes - abc instead of the math 31ab), it doesn't get to integration until the second class, and it's geared more towards practical applications in the life sciences?
Here was a page that gives the topics covered in 3a: Math 3A General Course Outline (ucla.edu) The description for the 3abc course is given here:
Math 3ABC is the “fast” calculus sequence at UCLA. It aims to provide students in three terms with the fundamental ideas and tools of calculus that will put them in a good position for understanding more technical work in their own areas. The course sequence covers basic topics in single-variable and multi-variable calculus. This includes some material on ordinary differential equations such as those governing population-growth models. The course also covers some material on calculus-based probability theory, including continuous probability distributions, the normal distribution, and the idea of hypothesis testing.
The course sequence 3ABC is suitable for students who want to be introduced to the powerful tools that the calculus provides without going through some of the more technical material required of the students in engineering and the physical sciences. While examples and illustrations are drawn from the life sciences when possible, the course sequence is also suitable for students in the social sciences and humanities who do not require a heavy mathematical background.
Students in 3ABC are expected to have a good background in precalculus mathematics, including polynomial functions, trigonometric functions, and exponential and logarithm functions. In order to enroll in 3A, students must either take and pass the Mathematics Diagnostic Test at the specified minimum performance level, or take and pass Math 1 at UCLA with a grade of C- or better.
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1 hour ago, AmandaVT said:
That is exactly what happened here!
I was able to watch it up at my mom's house - we live near each other - and it was really cool. Traffic cams show crazy traffic and according to one of our local papers, people started heading for their cars as soon as totality was over.
Also, anyone driving a tesla in Vermont is having a bad day. I passed a charging station and there were over 60 teslas there waiting for 1 of 4 chargers. They will be there for HOURS.
Something else to make Tesla's stock drop, lol. I have a hybrid, and I would never get a fully EV unless I was just planning on using it for around town. Long trips seem like just setting yourself up for frustration!
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5 hours ago, Roadrunner said:
I thought kids couldn’t handle calculus and wanted algebra based so that’s why they were all flocking to 5. If you can’t find a class, it’s better to take 1 series and get it out of the way than spending years attempting to get into 5 series. I have seen juniors still not managing to secure spots in the 5 series. Honestly so much of the difficulty is teacher dependent. As I said, Corbin (notorious for being the hardest prof) often teaches courses in the 5 series.
also, you get a more solid take on physics from 1. Learning never hurts.My oldest dd's two roommates were life sciences majors, and they both didn't have calculus until college. One said their math series was lighter calculus and geared towards life sciences. This page lists what is covered in the class: Undergraduate Courses - UCLA Mathematics I just assume it wouldn't be extensive enough to set them up for Physics 1 series?
Manosphere BS & Gen Z
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