JVA
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Posts posted by JVA
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Yup -- In the past, I have always ended up being the bad one, and the mean one. Well, years later, turns out that all the stuff I was pointing out, was on target. So -- I am still the bad one and the mean one, but truthfully, dh knows that I was right, shares my opinion, and acts accordingly and that means more to me than anything.
I have to add that it as only when I 'toned it down' a bit and let dh draw his own conclusions WITH important supporting facts supplied, then and only then did he stop defending his family and stop letting them walk all over him.
Marianne- I could have written this myself about my dh and his family. Because of the dysfunction in his family, HE has now made the decision to draw some boundary lines....one of which was to severely limit our interaction with his NPD sil and enabling brother. IOW- we may see them once every 2/3 years ie: a wedding or a funeral. Sad it had to get to that but letting him make the call on his own family was the right thing for us to do.
And YES, of course, I would show my dh the blog but I would also follow Marianne's example and do it objectively with no commentary. And when I'm done, I'd earn myself an Academy Award. :hurray:
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I sort of stradle the fence......I used to go to a salon and the price was inching up......I'd been her customer for a number of years and asked her if she'd like to come to my house. It would be cheaper for me and she'd get the entire amount. We've been doing this for about 7 years and it works out great. A cut and highlight here in northern VA is easily about $130-$140 at a salon. I pay her $60 to do it here at our house. We've become friends and I enjoy her visits every 6-8 weeks or so.
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Joanne- I'm so glad to hear these encouraging things.....I've prayed for you and asked God to give you both HOPE. He is faithful and does provide but it's not always like we understand or want. Believe me, BTDT. I hope you will see improvement and am glad a WTM friend could be of help. This is a great community. Blessings on you both and the children. :grouphug:
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Your dd has been treated disrespectfully....incredibly disrespectfully. My gosh! I wouldn't allow her to babysit them again.....since payment seems to be a problem, your dd isn't really losing much. Protect your dd and tell that woman she's not available and WHY. You can show your dd you want the best for her by also helping her to get other babysitting jobs. So sorry she's had to endure this.
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We loved:
Robin Hood series (BBC) -they're good for kids, I think.
MI-5 British 24-type series NOT for kids
24
North and South
Jane Austen movies
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First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!
My twins are OLD- 29 - but I remember these things were so helpful:
2 swings
A comfortable recliner- There were days in the beginning when I spent a LOT of time in that chair nursing them.
A double stroller- it SAVED my sanity. I could be mobile.
2 highchairs
LOTS of receiving blankets.
OH, Oh Oh!- for night time, I always put them in 'night gowns'- I guess that's what you'd call them- instead of sleepers. It was so much easier to just pull the drawstring tight than to try to match snaps in the dark and when I was so sleepy.
ENJOY. We wish we'd been able to have another set of twins.
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I grew up in Central AMerica and being late for everything is NORMAL. Is there a cultural component here?
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I'd write a certified letter to the Dr informing HIM of what happened (it's his staff who did this. He needs to know.), and if I didn't get a groveling apology and assurances the staff member was disciplined at the very least, I'd report the incident to the medical ethics board.
:iagree::iagree: Yup. I'd still report it even if you get a groveling apology.
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Ditto on your advice.......
BTW- those are darling! Good for you.
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It's a matter of courtesy and respect to answer the spouse's call. I rarely call him during the day....he works on Capitol Hill and is constantly in meetings and on the move. Texting works for us. He can text me even if he's in a mtg- sometimes the msg is: 'In a mtg'. I know he'll contact me when he's available. :)
The same thing goes for our 20-somethings. With the 4 oldest having been in college for the past 6/8 yrs (at different times), we don't call when they're in class (yes, I've kept a copy of their schedule) and texting is what usually works. They're good about returning a text pretty quick and if they're busy , they tell me. No problem. We don't really have anything pressing to talk with them about anymore because of their age, but sometimes we need to reach them during the day....recently, we've had 2 deaths in the family.
If I had a husband who ignored the phone/me, we'd have WORDS. Yes, we would. :glare: Like I said, it's a matter of courtesy and respect.
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Honey, Babe, Sweetie, Hot Stuf, LoverMan
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Really difficult people....several extended family members and a few nut jobs in our social circles- one woman at our church is certifiable! The best way to avoid their stress and drama is to avoid THEM.
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You're right. I'll go so far as to say he was extremely rude and inconsiderate NOT to call or text you. I would've been very PO'd and worried in that situation!
:iagree::iagree: It's downright DISRESPECTFUL to NOT call home and tell you. My gosh- it's a no-brainer.
"So, he never left their side during the 5 hour dinner? He didn't use the restroom or get drinks from the bar or anything? It is absurd to say that he could not say, "pardon me, I need to call my wife so that she doesn't get worried," and text you really quickly. "
THIS also. It seems to me that he was more concerned about showing disrespect to them than to you. I'd be livid and it wouldn't ever happen again.
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Just don't answer. You're not going to change their minds! If it's a family member, simply state that hsing is going well and you're not going to discuss it. And then don't. If they simply will not listen, leave.
It really does get easier--when they see what hsing has produced. I found those obnoxious comments lessened greatly when #1 went to college classes at 15, and had the highest grade in the class...
Vent away, but for your own sanity, just refuse to discuss it.
:grouphug:
Amen and Amen. :iagree: It's not even worth discussing it with some people more than once. Just ignore them. Does it REALLY matter what they think afterall?
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Our youth pastor just talked about his middle school years at the last youth group meeting last Wednesday. He was a chubby kid (not NOW- he just got married and is thin and fit!) and was bullied endlessly. Our ds was impressed with all that he went through. I told him that was one of the main reasons we homeschooled 3 of ours THROUGH middle school. The other two we hs all the way thru 11th. So, yes, it's just as awful for boys as it is for girls.
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We're from Seattle (aka lots of Salmon!) and we've found the best way to bake or broil it is to mix melted butter, lemon juice and dill and spread it on top of the steaks or fillets. My dh will also mix in some garlic salt. It's a family favorite. :drool:
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Dh- piano, trumpet
Me - piano and voice
Son #1 - Bass guitar, electric/acoustic guitar
Daughter - piano, violin
Son #2 - Drums, piano
Son #3 - String bass, piano, violin, viola, guitars(you name it), mandolin, cello, drums (Can you guess? He's a strings teacher/conductor!)
Son #4- violin, piano
We currently have: 2 drum trap sets, a myriad of guitars, piano, trumpet, mandolin, violins, and the bass in our music room.
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Yes. Get him to the Dr. quick. It could simply be bruising because he was bumped or kicked. However, on the other end of the spectrum, you could be looking at testicular torsion (twisting) - can be dangerous and testicles can die for lack of blood flow. Praying for the best for your boy.
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As we finish up a study of the Screwtape letters, I'm reminded that God wants us to live in today, or in Him, not in the future....
Amen. :iagree:
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We attend a Southern Baptist church and have for nearly 20 years. The pastor teaches verse by verse- it's quite in-depth. People need the gospel.....he started in I Corinthians today and I imagine we'll be in this book through Feb or March. It's very appropriate for our times and location....we're near DC- a cosmopolitan city and full of sin. The leadership has resisted going the 'seeker' or 'purpose-driven' route.
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I've put this on a quilt or two I've given at showers: I Samuel 1:27
"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him."
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I am SO very happy for you, Denise. Some of your posts have made me wince for what you're going through. I'm thrilled to hear about this turn around. How wonderful for her to have this breakthrough! I hope the rest of her childhood will be positive in her emotional development. You're a wonderful mom- an example to us all- and she is benefitting from your unconditional love. Blessings on your WHOLE family!:)
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Personally, the email would come to a screaming stop.
Uh, yes. Hello? :iagree::iagree: I haven't read any other posts, but I would do a lot to focus on your daughter. Take a class together, go on a little trip, shopping, explore a new hobby with one another....something so she knows you are interested in HER- maybe in a new way. Do you have any other adults whom you trust that she could also spend time with- a trusted friend of yours, an aunt, a kind older lady from church. I hope you'll see some improvement soon. Blessings on you!
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You might find some help in this book:
The Mom Factor by Cloud/Townsend
I had a detached mother growing up and this was a valuable resource to help me understand what a mother's impact on a child is SUPPOSED to be and the different types of mothers there actually are. They also give much advice on how to deal with your mom and the effects of your experience. It really helped me.
Basic chores for DC
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I recommend this book whenever I speak at MOPS:
http://www.amazon.com/Ways-Your-Kids-Work-Home/dp/0312299931/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1320361282&sr=8-1