LostSurprise
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We don't go out much but we do hang out a lot. Most of the things we do have already been mentioned, but I just want to encourage you to try some things he likes (and vice versa). You don't have to love something to enjoy being with someone, and listen to them. I know my eyes glazed over for years before I got half the computer stuff he's tried to explain to me, but he appreciates it. And he listens to my literary diatribes and adds a strong back to my gardening (not his favorite).
We read aloud/read together in bed.
We play board games (from more complex games like Reef Encounter to simple flicking games like Crokinole. In fact, Crokinole is almost the perfect tired couple game. You spend a lot of time trying to whack each other off the board..lots of fun!)
We talk about the news. We talk about education, and books, and organization, and software.
We do projects around the house.
We cook together. Sometimes we'll pick something really different and band together to conquer it.
We veg out to television or a movie. We'll lay in the dark and listen to whole albums and talk about the connections between songs or between artists.
We wander through grocery stores, hardware stores, and specialty stores, just talking. Or play hide and seek. Or have a contest taking arty pictures and see who takes the best one.
We bike, walk the dog, kayak (when we get the chance), take the boys to the beach/lake.
We play video games together (vegging out to Dr. Mario is an old favorite).
We're trying to invite more people in to our home. Dh loves being a host. I'm getting used to the idea. :tongue_smilie: We're also trying to find more areas where we can both serve others. Still working on that (youngest still has issues which make it difficult for us to be places on set days/times).
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We live in the Midwest and all of us see the same dentist. He invests in great assistants and they do most of the work with kids. He diagnoses, does cavities and other work, and they do everything else.
They also have chairs for parents in the exam rooms, and I can even more back and forth between different chairs and the waiting room if I have multiple kids being cleaned/examined at the same time.
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Finished:
1. The Secret Life of Houdini: the Making of a Superman by William Kalush
2. 13 Treasures by Michelle Harrison
3. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
4. The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
5. Blink: the Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell
6. The Great Railway Bazaar by Paul Theroux
7. Phantastes by George MacDonald
Working on:
8. Napoleon's Buttons: How 17 Molecules Changed the World (LeCouteur)
9. Boneshaker (Priest)
10. Cloudsplitter (Banks)
11. Winter's Tale (Helprin)
12. The Man Who Thought His Wife Was a Hat (Sacks)
I'm behind now and have too many long books (Cloudsplitter, Winter's Tale). I need to push through the last 70-90 pages of Napoleon's Buttons and move on to some shorter reads.
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It's easy to answer 'how are you?' because you don't have to go into detail. Unless a person wants to know they really just skip over it with an 'that's too bad' or 'sorry to hear it.'
My son has a condition, and the last few years have been very hard sometimes. I have people I trust and love, and quite a few who care about us.
Still...it's hard to be totally honest with people. I can answer 'how are you?' honestly. I can't always be totally forthcoming about his condition or my latest depression or how we managed to survive another week because:
1) Sometimes the things people say back to you make it worse. :confused: You still love them. You still want to talk to them. They don't know how to comfort you and they say stupid things.
2) There's only so long you can complain before people start turning it off. Human beings can only take so much of a thing they can't personally make better. It's human nature. This is one of the big reasons we don't take the elderly seriously, or dislike visiting them. It's repetitive. It's beyond our control. It's boring.
3) You get tired of being the center of attention. You don't want to talk about it for once. You just want to have some normal, adult, or intellectual conversation without getting dragged back to your everyday life.
4) You want to protect them. Not forever. Not at your own destruction. But if you know they have a lot of hard stuff on their own plate you don't want to add to it.
To make up for these problems I usually have a small group of people I go to who have proven themselves. And rather than dump the whole thing on one of them I take turns. When I feel things building up I seek one of them out and let them comfort me and let me vent.
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I think this is normal for a lot of people.
Just give her a time limit and when she goes over that limit assure her that she will have another chance to make the decision later but now you are leaving (or in the case of clothing you will make the decision). I have one son like this and he is a champion saver..lol.
It's okay for some kids to see complexity in every decision, but it's good for them to know that those decisions do not allow unlimited time. Time is valuable. Sometimes this helps kick them into gear or at least understand how their quirk affects others.
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Tortilla's sprayed with an oil-based buttery spray, sprinkled (lightly) with cinnamon/sugar, and baked cut in small triangles.
The 'chips' are eaten with a fruit dip: chopped fruit--anything you got with a few spoonfuls of jam (check the label for your other allergies) to thicken the juice a bit.
For the gluten-free child I would call the mother or poke around the grocery store for some gluten-free wraps so they can have the same.
If the cinnamon/sugar is considered too sweet, try making the fruit dip first and draining it a bit and spritzing the natural fruit juice on as the sweetener (with a dash of cinnamon). Keep it light though or they won't get crispy when they bake.
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When I started having children all my grandparents were living. We called them Grandma/Grandpa (last name). Since it was confusing to have multiple grandparents with that name we started our parents as Grandma/Grandpa (first name).
I've heard many substitutes: Memaw (mee-maw), Marmar, Mawmaw, but my favorites are the ones based on family nationality. A good friend remarried after her children grew up. Because it was hard on her adult children (they already had a father and grandfather for their children) he goes by Morphar...Swedish for grandfather.
I like Avia, but if you want something more personal you can always look up Grandmother for your nationality/one of your nationalities.
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If it makes you feel any better, dh was like that as a child and he's a successful software engineer now. Eventually one thing stuck (electronics). I'm not saying he lost that 'always looking at something new' gene, but he learned to use it to become the creative go-to guy. When they want to know about a new technique or a trend they go to dh. That's the good side. The hard side is that he is not the uber-coder and makes up for it with a burning work ethic.
I think if your son has the ability to focus on his latest passion...if he has a good work ethic/the ability to follow through...if you bring some academic complexity to his passion (for instance, physics to karate and biology to vet stuff), I don't see why it should hurt him in the long run.
We live in a world where people change careers more often then when we were children. Flexibility and the ability to learn new things are much more prized right now. Enjoy his gift.
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Podcasts can be audio or audio/visual. They tend to follow the format of lectures, radio shows, or documentaries.
Scientific American has some great ones; 60 second science (& 60 second earth & 60 second psych).
NPR has some great ones. This American Life. There are music ones like Woodsongs. GrammarGirl.
I suggest these two links to get you started:
http://www.socialtimes.com/2009/07/how-to-find-the-best-podcasts/
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In my family growing up we spent 2-3 years with no television (and obviously no streaming then). I think we attended movies rarely (maybe once during that period?) or never. My parents instituted that off and on 2 or 3 times. It's actually very restful and creative...although I was mad at the time.
I voted Other. I think we've done all of those at one time or another (just television-no cable, no television reception but vhs tapes for the kids, no cable--netflix, etc.). Currently we have a television and cable, but they're not hooked together. We need the cable in order to have high speed internet (they're bundled together). We watch television online and rent occasional movies.
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YouTube has it's own filter but I haven't tried it.
There's also an educational site which filters and provides filtered YouTube videos.
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The Brothers K--David James Duncan : epic tale of religion, science, baseball, and the '60s
Ursula, Under--Ingrid Hill : inter-connected short stories following the genealogy of a little girl in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan
Peace Like a River--Lief Enger : musings about saints, sinners, and cowboy-poets
Coop--Michael Perry : nonfiction about life in a small town in WI
Outliers--Malcolm Gladwell : nonfiction...what does success really mean?
Wild Swans--Jung Chang : the best historical memoir on China available--3 women take China from warlords to cultural revolution
It--Stephen King : King's best...a story within a story about facing fears
Winter's Tale--Mark Helprin : magical realism/fairy tale with New York as the centerpiece
No Country for Old Men--Cormac McCarthy : what is violence and how do people react to it?
Interpreter of Maladies--Jhumpa Lahiri : the best short story collection of the last 20 years. Indian immigrants.
The Diamond Age--Neal Stephenson : fascinating science fiction...if Dickens wrote a futuristic novel with nano technology @ a girl who is raised by a stolen educational primer...this would be it.
A Primate's Memoir--Robert Sapolsky : Africa/primate biology/neuroscience/memoir
The Big Over-Easy--Jasper Fforde : like candy for word lovers...nursery tale mystery
The Book of Lost Things--John Connolly : an original retelling of old fairy tales in a completely compelling format..(a bit dark but nothing I wouldn't let a 13 year old read)
Cloud Atlas--David Mitchell : an history of the world told through interconnecting tales from Victorian-the post apocalpse
Vanity Fair--WM Thackeray : a novel without heroes...Thackeray never takes anyone too seriously
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April 1? That's a toss up. Most places within 2 hours will not have snow on that date (although it's not unheard of for it to snow in April or May--they are temporary).
I would suggest a ski slope as well, although April 1 some places in the woods/without direct sunlight will still have a little snow.
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Check out Haba games.
Animal on Animal (balance/dexterity game) *** DS's favorite at that age
Chateau Rocquefort (matching, memory but with a very cool board and trapdoors)
Uno (cards)
Skipbo (cards)
Go Fish (cards)
that game where you roll dice and flip over numbers
Shapes Up (puzzle like)
Monopoly Jr./Candyland/Shoots and Ladders (roll and move)
Checkers (and simple chess games)
Alfredo's Food Fight (flinging)
Sherlock (slightly more challenging memory game)
Toss your Cookies (matching)
Break the Safe (roll and move, avoid)
Crossbows and Catapults (flinging)
Sorry Sliders (dexterity, flicking)
Children of this age can often play simple adult games with some help, especially party games. Our 6 year old can play Zooloretto (collecting sets of zoo animals) with some help.
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I don't see a strong, exclusive gender correlation here, perhaps because I have all boys.
One of my boys is just like this. Obviously gifted, but things came so easily at first that when they don't come easily he doubts his gifts. It becomes a circular problem. At 12 we spend more time emphasizing hard work and learning from mistakes more then anything else.
Another son was the one teachers pinpointed as having problems. Now he will stick with something. He isn't as afraid of failure as my other son and he tests 10% higher, even in reading--the subject my older son is a natural in.
I do think there is an emotional component to this. Girls are more likely to doubt themselves, especially in their teens. I think it would be interesting to see this study across a range of ages. How do women respond once they've left that fragile time? Are they more likely to believe in their abilities?
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The only thing that's worked is making permanent, long-term changes.
*removing junk food/snacks
*finding healthy, limited choices for breakfast and lunch (for me it's yogurt with almonds, Special K, 1 whole grain muffin, pita with lettuce/spinach/dressing)
*finding healthy, limited choices for snacks (fruit, nuts, vegetables, square of dark chocolate)
*drinking lots of water or herbal tea before and after every meal
*eating a regular dinner (no more than 2 servings of anything)
*eat slowly, talk, stop when you don't feel hungry
*allowing specialty foods (fried, desserts) on a limited basis. Eat a serving, don't go crazy
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1. Everything is a learning experience. There is no failure if you learn from what goes wrong.
2. Dh needs to back off. If he shows frustration, ask him if he would be making the same comments if he bought you jewelry? A gift is a gift. No one enjoys a gift under pressure.
3. Take things slowly. Don't over-plan or over-plant the first year.
4. Different crops come up at different times. Some don't mind the cold. Some love the heat. Make a list of the things you like to eat. Then cull out some things you'd like to plant this year. From that list check one of your books (or one from the library) about what these plants need (and when you need to do it).
5. Keep notes. Maybe some things don't do well where you live. Maybe something needs more research.
6. Next year is always a new year. :001_smile:
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My husband is similar.
What helps him:
*being read to (especially while driving)
*audio books
*lighter choices (YA lit)
*non-fiction
*magazines
*project-based reading (read and then go make something)
*knowing that if something doesn't work it's okay to just drop it and move on
He reads a whole lot more now then when I met him.
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It depends on what you want it for.
In general I prefer my toaster oven, but if I wanted an appliance solely for reheating and I didn't care about the traditional complaints about microwave nutrition and texture...I would get a microwave.
A microwave is faster and mostly foolproof.
Toaster ovens are wonderful for additional baking and toasting capability. I like ours. I almost got rid of our microwave, but my youngest started a diet which meant reheating small portions, melting butter, etc. several times a day. For this kind of thing the microwave is perfect. I can do similar things in the microwave but it takes longer, things can dry out, and the dishes get hot sooner.
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http://boardgameexchange.crystalcommerce.com/ It looks like they have monthly fee in the $20 range (25-27) with some short (2-4 months) and some long (yearly) subscriptions. All shipping is included. We have a friend doing this and she gets a box of 2-4 games a month. Fun.
Other options:
Look for local board game stores (they often have open copies to try out in the store).
Look for local board game groups. http://www.boardgamegeek.com/forum/54/boardgamegeek/united-states
Look for board game conventions near you. They have scheduled play times (with people to teach you) PLUS they often have an 'open library.' That means they have a library of board games you can check out and play in the room. This is the way we find game we like, then we can save up and buy them.
If you lived in our area I would refer you to my husband, who just yesterday tried to get people to borrow games so he would have more shelf space.
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I think 21st Century Learning delves into something a bit deeper then whether our kids our tech-ready. At it's heart it digs into the American fear of being passed by, and of finding an easy, gimmicky solution.
There is no easy solution, and any responsible text or site on Collaborative Learning, Educational Technology, and Project-based Learning doesn't see technology as a silver bullet.
It's simply something that is changing right now, that can be leveraged to bring students together in new ways. The reason it's being buzzed in teacher circles is because many teachers are not even at the technical level of their students. They need a lot of encouragement to pick up the new technology and look for what works.
BTW, many of these technical breakthroughs can be done by anyone with an Internet account. Do some research into collaborative learning, there is a lot of cool stuff out there. I'm surprised Homeschool Coops haven't tapped into some of this stuff because kids can really work collaboratively from their own homes; writing stories together, editing movies, writing blogs, all kinds of stuff.
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There's a line from a John Prine song. "I put your mind on a brief vacation, to the Land of the Lost Surprise." I thought it was a lovely metaphor so I re-purposed it when I was looking for a blog name (My blog is The Land of the Lost Surprise). It seems like having children is a process of re-living and learning things from their viewpoint. It's like returning to a time of constant surprise.
Anyway, when I came here my usual handles were used so I truncated my blog title. It has a nice ring.
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No offense to you...my son is on a special diet and a even physical interaction with grains, sugar, and other carbohydrates (including fruits, vegetables, hand sanitizer, toothpaste, sunscreen) can set off massive seizures...but I think you're taking this too personally.
It is hard for other families to deal with us, and we can appreciate when they do, but we can't expect that this means they will bend additional parts of their lives for us. We need to enjoy the time we do have together. This can mean loneliness, but the loneliness is that of our situations not of being personally rejected. Remember most friends are together because it's easy...either they work or live near each other, their children are the same age. When things get harder (moving, one has kids the other doesn't) the relationship fades.
I certainly don't think you should make the assumption that because they were busy last fall equals they were busy excluding you. That's how you feel, that's not what you know.
I know you're lonely, and this is frustrating. I can think of many situations, more then I can count, where my son has been excluded or had to miss out on things just because of his diet. But please don't further cut yourself off from relationships because of this. It's in these times that you form the good friends who will go to great lengths for you and your family.
And consider making this easier by providing food to your group on occasion. It might be a good idea for the other kids, as they get older, to see what your son deals with every day. With my son's epilepsy I find it makes everyone more comfortable for me to not just give scary warnings, but to have little moments now and then that show the normal day to day stuff. What he eats. How we make it. What happens if something goes wrong. Maybe if they eat the food and see you use benedryl after a random park interaction they will feel more comfortable.
what areas do you save money?
in General Education Discussion Board
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Lots of good suggestions.
I don't have anything new but I've found that when transitioning to homemade bread we eat less if I keep it all in the freezer. You can thaw and warm it for 45 seconds (for a roll) or 2 minutes (a loaf) and its good as new.
This way the bread isn't out and easy to grab, and it doesn't dry out.
If you go on a free day, all-purpose and bread flour are very cheap at Sam's Club (less than $1 lb.)
Bulk flour, beans, rice, pasta, and canned tomatoes can make a wide variety of cheap meals.