LostSurprise
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Posts posted by LostSurprise
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I have 4 boys, all close in age. It can be challenging, especially if you're pregnant. Yes, there is some destruction (mostly with the younger ones). I'm not sure if girls do that too but I'm the only Mom I know with one of her son's names carved into her headboard ("Did I do that? Okay, maybe I did. I don't remember'). Oh and the mass carving of the dining room table (with forks!) by everyone below a certain age. And the bodily fluids at kid-level on the walls.
Some of these things can be solved with maturity...others are the product of not taking the rules very seriously. In our house that means children need more (or more consistent) proof that doing these things are a bother and a drain on their energy and time (just like these things are a bother to you..and a drain on your energy and time).
Some kids will pick this up by having to clean up their messes or being grounded from an object or situation. Others won't. Some kids will hear an explanation of how annoyed this makes you and what a bother it is to you. Others won't. I find that a calm explanation of how this makes me feel and how my feelings affect them physically helps. Plus their correction of the situation. Plus an additional appropriate consequence(s) (no more cookies, extra chores, fewer privileges, more supervision, not being able to do things for them because the situation has made me tired or cranky) while they are retrained in house expectations. Plus making sure they have enough energy-draining activities usually straightens things (mostly) out.
Yes, they keep making messes. Yes, there's a disconnect between what they are doing now and future consequences. Yes, you still have to stay on them all the time, but if you keep pointing things out, calmly, and explaining the real-life consequences they start to get it.
Of course, some of them might be ready to move out by then. :lol:
I am starting to see the light come on in my 12 year old. A third of the time he will notice and correct himself. But the other 2/3 of the time he still puts the garbage on the floor 10 feet away from the can, dumps his toys in the doorway of his room, and drops tiny strips of paper on the floor as he walks around. :001_huh:
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I love what Amy had to say.
I used to think I was a patient person...then I had children. It's been a very enlightening 12 years to say the least.
What helps me is a combination of organization/reorganization/scheduling/rescheduling, listening to the child, and forcing time into the conversation (send child to room, lock myself in bathroom, count to 50, scream, come out, be as impartial as possible).
If I slow things down and make a working schedule, most problems are avoided.
If I slow down my reaction (either by counting to 10 or sending everyone to different rooms for a breather) and refuse to take part in a cycle of emotion, many fights are avoided.
If I try to listen impartially, always struggling to see their point of view, some of my 'unfairness' is avoided.
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I was reading some this morning. They were pretty funny.
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skirts or skorts--1" above the knee
plain v-necked t-shirts, any color
dark jeans
gauzy, long-sleeved tunic-styled shirts or fitted henleys
hoodies
basic sandals, knee-high boots, tennis shoes
This is such a individual thing though. I spend most of the summer in t-shirts and skorts and most of the winter in jeans with a hoodie or henley. And I'm 38.
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I don't really think honesty or straightforwardness is being lost when I treat dh with kindness and respect. Rather than stopping me from talking, when I see a red flag issue it causes me to think deeper about how I can communicate the problem most effectively with him.
In some marriages this may mean banter, teasing, joking, debate, discussion, instant messages, confrontation, etc. Marriages all do this differently because people respond to things differently. But whatever the case, I can do it in a way that shows I love him and respect him and that I expect him to treat me the same way.
Does this mean I don't yell? Nope, I do sometimes. I'm a human being and sometimes emotions overtake the intellectual process, but the more I practice forethought the more I treat everyone around me respectfully. I hope that's what I'm teaching my children.
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I think any woman who is the veteran of numerous church potlucks is aware of what a group of teens going through the line first can do to the main course, breads, and dessert. Our church had to ask teens to go after adults because parents weren't watching and teens would decimate the table leaving only fruits and vegetables. Most of them just didn't think about what they were doing and the effect was accumulative.
However, there's no need to be rude. Most people know to take a child aside quietly and point out the better way. I would forgive her...especially at a time when stress can make people a little harsher than usual...but she should have done a better job expressing herself.
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I usually have the little one be my resident chocolate chip and berry counter when we make cookies, muffins, or smoothies. I give random numbers like 'we need 6 chips for this cookie' or 'we need 23 berries for this smoothie.' Helpers get extra chips or spoon licks.
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A deep bookcase
A deep bookcase with plastic milk crates, wicker baskets, or bins (my 6 year old has a rolling cart with 2 shelves and a top...we have a crate for socks, underwear, pjs, and sweat pants and another for shirts, jeans, etc. On the top is a box of legos.)
a laundry basket
a chiffarobe (basically a set of drawers on one side and a cabinet door with shelves behind it..very easy for younger kids to pull things off...one of my kids has this...the downside is its very easy to pull everything off a shelf when they get what they want.)
We also have 2 chests for the older boys and each child has their own round laundry basket for clean clothes (they put away).
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Could you be more specific about your husband? Carbohydrates are found in all fruits and vegetables, grains, beans, natural sugars...pretty much anything that isn't a meat or a fat.
I assume he's low carb? Veggies & meat only? Some fruits? Lower carb lentils? Sweet potatoes or no sweet potatoes?
Thanks.
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I use standard all-purpose flour from Walmart.
The original recipe had half butter, half shortening. I never have shortening so I used all butter. Since then I've used oil. All work fine.
I oil every few tortillas on a long griddle. It's easier than using a cast iron frying pan. I flip it when it starts to bubble.
We love these around here. I notice that if you have leftover pizza dough they make pretty good tortillas/flat bread too.
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Generally if they ask for dried, use dried. If they ask for fresh, use fresh. The water content is very different in fresh vs. dried.
Don't use fresh cranberries when dried are called for. Recipes which use fresh cranberries compensate with sugar or other sweeteners.
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Buy plants. Look for ones that are thicker, leafier...not super tall. Check the leaves. Make sure there aren't any brown spots and no curling. Some things like beans are easy to grow from seeds, but many things are really fragile and its hard to grow them from seeds.
Buy a small bag of some kind of slow release fertilizer. Put some in every hole you put a plant in (but don't put the plant right on top of it...put a light coating of dirt over the fertilizer first).
Find a spot with full sun. When you pick out a spot check it in the morning, around lunch and in the afternoon. It should have sun most of the time.
Think about how you are going to water consistently. Is there something else you do outside that you can bundle it in with? Drip hose? Pot with bottom reservoir? Homemade terrarium?
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Logan and Colton are hugely popular right now (Logan a bit more than Colton). Troy reminds me of our generation.
Out of those 4 I'd say Everett.
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In your case I would renew it.
I dropped mine, but I knew by the time I might need it again I would probably have to take new classes, renew paperwork, etc. It didn't see worth it for me.
Because you are using your degree in a professional capacity, its better/easier for you to keep your license. Then if your boss' boss questions your qualifications they can list that. It means something in that world.
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Lots of good posts.
I also think this will bring the entire issue back up, not put it to rest. Everyone will assume that you always had the money and were just holding out, especially if how you got it is really unexpected.
Be thankful for a big hearted husband, and ask that the money be put away for a time (invested, in savings). If your BIL needs help with medical bills, it might be better to parcel out *small* amounts later, as needed...not a large lump sum. I don't think the money will bring the family back together but it might help nephew. With small amounts, dh can see how BIL reacts as well. Either his feeling will be confirmed or disproved.
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I'm not sure I'd notice your daughter or not. I'm not really into clothing so it would take a lot to get my attention.
However, I think people have experiences, and they form opinions based on those experiences. This isn't a bad thing unless people either close themselves off to the complexity of reality or open their big mouths and share.
People will judge a girl wearing tight clothing. The same way they will judge a girl with an ankle-length jean skirt and hair down to her butt. The same way a woman might feel nervous alone in an elevator with a big guy or a person who is often teased feels laughter from a nearby group might be about them.
Everyone has these opinions, these 'judgements.' The difference is that most of us have been schooled to keep our mouths shut. This gives us the opportunity to get to know people in a more complex way. Hopefully we do.
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Crocus
Columbine
Both short...and Spring-sprouting (so you can transplant outdoors afterward).
Snowdrops may also be short.
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Very cool resource. I have it bookmarked. http://www.khanacademy.org/
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Jane Eyre
Bruchko
The book of John (Bible)
The Lord of the Rings
To Kill a Mockingbird
Merchants of Venice
The Good Earth
Things Fall Apart
How Green Was My Valley
An Anthropologist on Mars
A Canticle for Leibowitz
Outliers
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It depends on if you mean formal multiplication or informal.
I introduced the concept of doubling/multiplying in Kindergarten/1st grade after addition and before subtraction. I don't really do formal multiplication memorization until 2nd/3rd.
I've found the game Tumblin' Dice to be good for early multiplication use (the dice are multiplied by 1, 2, 3, or 4 depending on where they land). My 2nd grader loves it. Personally I like to go slowly into the memorization. It can overwhelm some children. (You could make your own board more cheaply then buying.)
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He loves her, but I wouldn't say they are close.
MIL is wonderful, a very loving person, but she was gravely ill when dh was a teenager and she never completely recovered mentally and physically. It was a miracle (literally) that she survived.
He's very protective of her but he can't really talk to her as an equal, and it's awkward when she stays with us because he doesn't really know how much he can expect of her. Unconsciously he wants her to be like other women her age. I think I deal with her the best because I have no ideal of what she should be...I just see her as the loving and somewhat broken woman she is.
Despite this I know he loves her very much and he tries to be realistic and give her the affection that she needs.
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Your own anecdotal experience is between individuals and individuals or (if you'd prefer) group (unions) and individuals.
Traditionally, unions work as a balance against the power of a corporation or owner to push down worker costs in order to gain more money for themselves.
Obviously this hasn't been your experience. It might help to read The Jungle or How Green Was My Valley to get an idea of what life was like before unions.
Moving up to more modern times, the book Packinghouse Daughter combined with the documentary American Dream about the labor dispute in the 1980s with Hormel. I think the film does a good job of showing the complexity of the issue, how some people are so hardline they can't see the whole picture, how cruel people can be to each other (conceding workers vs. non-conceding), how a company can use a situation to not only confront company difficulties but to take it beyond that and toss out older workers who cost more.
My FIL was working for Hormel at the time in Iowa (not the site of the strike but the same company). Watching the video and talking with him was extremely enlightening. How easy it is for a company to make bad financial decisions then instigate a strike and dump an 'expensive' workforce and start with younger, cheaper, even non-national workers (much easier to hire illegal aliens). Even though FILs plant wasn't in the MN strike, he was told to stay home a day or two because they would close the plant to eliminate the spread of a solidarity strike and protect vital workers. Then he was fired for striking (ie not attending work).
It took 2 years in the court system for him to get his job back (not everyone did). The union funded the court case. Dh's family lived in poverty during that time. No one could afford to sell out and go (without declaring bankruptcy). The plant was the whole town. No admission of wrongdoing was ever made, it was settled out of court.
FIL is not a union nut. His father was an office worker who ran machines (ie a scab) during multiple other strikes in the meat packing industry, but the entire situation shook him deeply. My own grandfather lost his entire pension (20+ years) in a non-union job where the company went under and the owners stole the money. No one could afford to take it to court.
Me, my own experiences have been different. I was a teacher in Illinois who didn't really like the union. Most of the union reps of my acquaintance are obnoxious. Most of the money went to causes I didn't believe in.
But that was my experience. I can't discount the other people in my life who have been helped through injustice by their unions. I can see how unhealthy unions don't help their constituents and cause frustration and change, but unions can create a safety net, especially for workers who traditionally don't have a lot of other resources to achieve justice.
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Cool!
I might be able to start some seeds...in a few weeks. :tongue_smilie:
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As I understand the situation in WI, rights are not being taken away. The governor wants to give workers a choice whether they will pay union dues or not. It is being spun as the removal of collective bargaining rights.
Since I haven't seen this refuted I just wanted to say this is untrue for Wisconsin (I think the poster has us mixed up with another Midwestern state--probably Indiana). The original law asked for a decrease in benefits (asking public workers to pay for more themselves) AND the removal of all collective bargaining rights for public workers except those of police and firefighters.
I think most of us assumed it was a little political strong-arming to convince public employees to accept the 2nd or 3rd decrease in their pay/benefits (in the last few years). In response public employee unions agreed to accept the benefits loss and keep the bargaining rights.
I am the granddaughter of union men and the daughter of a very conservative man. I can see that both sides are worried about the future, but in my opinion no one should be able to legislate an easier political future for themselves by taking away peoples' voices (which is what it feels like the governor is doing), a traditional right used to balance the power of corporations and individuals.
I can't say for the entire state, but I have rarely seen public employees strike here and I've lived here (almost) my entire life. I had to move to Illinois for that. This seems heavy-handed and opportunistic.
How to Raise Boys That Read (Article)
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Perhaps I'm one of the few to disagree here, but I thought his premise was an exaggeration without much proof to back it up.
I don't really mind a certain amount of gross-out literature (we have a personal line for our family). I have all boys and they find it amusing and distracting. It also parallels their conversations at a certain age. (Perhaps this is not true of other families who have a mix of male and female, but we have all boys and it's first the oral fixation, then bathroom issues, then body parts. :001_huh: ) It's also a good way to encourage solo practice until they progress to a level/maturity which finds 'literature' easier to read. These gross-out books are not written for 15 year olds, they're being written for 7-10 year olds who are primarily exercising their reading muscles.
But like any candy, the point is to use it for enjoyment and not sustenance. Other things, many other things, should be tried. They don't need to like classics, but they do need to try them, think about why they like or don't like them, compare things they've read, express their thoughts, and progress to other things. I do agree that these shouldn't be the only things boys read.
There's also an interesting study that compares boys who play thinking/strategy/world-building computer games with girls who don't. The boys have higher reading scores because what they do in the game encourages reading, writing, and thought. This is different from 'thumb' games which are only designed for speed/movement.
In general I thought the author had a specific belief and used things to back it up. He hasn't looked deeply at the issue to see the differences in games or in why/when teachers or parents use bubblegum lit. I'd like to see a bit more of the complexity in the issue.