Sonshine
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Posts posted by Sonshine
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Thanks - I feel like such a clod much of the time - my dh is the diplomatic one. I'm nice but can't think of how to word things much of the time. But calling her and at least apologizing over the phone does sound better than just an email.
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I got an education at collegeconfidential.com. Whoever told you that about the finances was either wealthy or uninformed. College is expensive and scholarships are hard to come by. With three at once, you don't have much time for a learning curve. I would start researching this more intensely ASAP. You don't want to wait until next spring to realize you can't afford the colleges they got into and it's too late to apply for scholarships at other schools.
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I explained most of that in the email to the mom, except the part about the coach's requests coming later. I did mention the coach requested big girls (her girls are tiny) because we are playing big girls. She might feel it was strange of me to call and speak to her girls about it. Is that what you were suggesting? Her girls are only 8 and 9.
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I arrange the schedule for a team that my husband also coaches. We had an opportunity to play in a tournament, and we offered another dad the chance to coach it. When first emailing and asking who was available, one mom volunteered her two kids first. The coach wanted bigger/older kids than hers because it turned out the teams we were facing were bigger. I emailed and let her know we didn't need her kids after all, and gave the above reason. Also, the team got turned into a team with the younger players from the next division up and the bigger players from our division, plus younger siblings (it's understood they tag along and get playing time, and the kids in question have gotten playing time before because of that factor as well). She was disappointed because her kids were looking forward to playing in a tournament. I feel like a real heel and wonder if I should send them a small gift card or something with a nice note. The kids on the teams are ages 8 - 12. I was mainly trying to follow the requests of the coach who didn't make them known until a few days after the emails soliciting girls started. I also mentioned that the brackets were changed on us and we face the biggest team the second game, instead of later as was originally planned.
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Two boys then two girls - everyone has a sister and everyone has a brother, and they are grouped together by sex. What a perfect family. It almost sounds planned out.....
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Depending on her personality, can you joke about it a little - let's think about what kind of new job Daddy can get - dogcatcher, circus clown, doctor, etc. Maybe talk about the jobs you have had and what she might want to be when she grows up. Tell stories about people who got laid off and got even better jobs. If she's young enough and into dress up, she could even dress up as people in different professions. Make it more about being excited about what's next if he loses his job, than everything will be okay even though it will be rough (although she may need a little of that, depending on her awareness of money issues and what exactly she heard y'all talking about)
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This is totally unacceptable. Expecting you to keep the same doctor when he has such a limited schedule is ridiculous. I don't know the best way to deal with doctor's offices but maybe someone else does. Maybe speak to the office manager and let her know this is a bad policy and you expect better service. If he/she is a reasonable person and has some freedom within the bounds of their job, they should work with you to find another doctor who meets your needs - whether in or out of the practice.
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Any been there done that advice?
Go with your child's career interests? With what makes your child happy even if there is not an obvious connection to a career interest? I'm primarily thinking of the middle/high school years. Any unexpected turns or twists?
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It seems we are all living vicariously through you. I would love to have a baby girl - my babies are 10 and no grandbabies yet. Just the thought of having a baby girl for our own makes me happy. Thank you allowing us to share in your joy (am I sounding too pushy here?)
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I wouldn't worry about more and more women wanting you to adopt their babies - that may never happen. It certainly isn't likely to happen in the US and you won't be in that country forever (not sure how often this happens in Malaysia either).
I had my last two (twins) at 40. No big deal - you can do it if it's what you want. I didn't have helpful family or extra help except for a once a week maid (that was very helpful). The should I have another baby part sounds easy to me - a no brainer, but the responsibility of that child for the rest of its life is a bigger deal. It would be nice for Natalie to have a sibling around when the older ones leave home, but seek God's will and go with your gut.
I would put the delay of the return to the US (or wherever you may go next) and visit to family in perspective - one more year isn't much compared to having the opportunity to have another child. Maybe your husband could take the boys back for a visit over the summer?
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Is there anyone at the rehab facility she would listen to? Maybe one or more of the nurses, therapists, and/or doctors could put a scare into her by telling her the consequences of not completing her rehab and thereby reinjuring herself at home and things don't heal as well if broken again or something similar.
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Yippee Hooray! One less thing to worry about.
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I wonder if he is worried about losing his position and your husband getting it. Since your husband does pulpit supply I assume he may be qualified.
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It's not a mission trip experience but have you looked at Teenpact? My son has done this for three years now - as well as learning about government, they learn about leadership. He has progressed to being on staff. They have all kinds of camps they can go to once they have gone to their first state camp. I have been impressed with how the camps and experiences are run and the quality of the leadership. Let me know if you want more details.
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Florida Lisa - I like the emphasis on doing the hard thing not the fun thing.
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My son and a friend's son both went on mission trips with them. They were generally very safe and very supervised. A student has to stay with their group of five and sometimes can't even go to the bathroom by themselves. It can be a good thing and a bad thing. I appreciated the supervision as my kid who went was a wanderer and it was good he had a short rein. He didn't appreciate the short rein, but oh well.
The bad side of that was that a lot of people have power that are not old enough, mature enough, or sometimes qualified to handle it correctly. A friend of mine's daughter went to their honor academy and that was a negative to her - she rebelled against Christianity when she got out. I didn't know her well enough to have insight into whether she would have done that anyway.
My friend's son went on a trip to Africa, and he did feel like the emphasis was a little off - they went hut to hut praying for sick people and he felt like they were acting like people were getting healed who weren't - I don't know the details though and this was from a young person's perspective. My son went on two different type trips and didn't have problems with the theology. We are from a Bible church background
A lot depends on the leader. The leader of my son's one month overseas trip went without his wife and showed too much attention to girls - that really bothered my son. Probably nothing deeply immoral actually happened but it was not good - things like playfully kicking a girls' behind with his foot. A girl was really sick once and he didn't get her medical attention and forced her to keep working. She should have gone to the hospital.
He was glad he went on another trip where he respected the trip leader. This was four - five years ago - maybe they have tightened up since then, and maybe my son's leader was the unfortunate exception.
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If he goes with the story approach, I have suggestion. I read this on collegeconfidential.com. Start the story in a dramatic place, then go to the beginning of the story and tell it. "I woke up tied up in the basement" Only tell more slowly with tantalizing yet not tell everything details like the rats were nibbling at my toes. Then back up to how you got into scouting and the guys thought it was funny to tie your legs together while you were asleep on the retreat.
I would not write about being a good follower, etc. They want leaders, pure and simple.
I think it's very impressive that he was truly in charge of his own education. To me that would be worth writing about, if he can figure out a few details to make it interesting -tell a story not the facts. etc.
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I second the idea to have his vision checked - just make sure it's with an optometrist who is listed with a site recommending docs who do therapeutic vision therapy. The opthamologists are the ones with the MD degree and they don't address this at all.
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It's possible that he hasn't matured past his infant reflexes, and/or has kinsethetic issues - his brain doesn't do a good job of letting him know where his body is in space. A very very good occupational therapist should be able to test and treat for this, but most don't (said by an occupational therapist).
As a mother of post teen sons - the sooner you correct this the better as the older he gets the more resistive he may be to treatment, as well as the sooner something is treated the better for making improvement.
For the reflexes look for Kathy Johnson's site - she's an educator in New York, not an OT, but it's OT type stuff. For the kinesthetic issues, lots of swinging is good. Swimming is good too, but not as good as swinging. Does he seem to have any other sensory issues (poor awareness of his body is a sensory issue) - look on the special needs board here for descriptions of sensory issues.
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I had a very active first child. I kept asking my mil what was wrong with him. He's a boy and he's normal she would say. She was right.
I do believe in ADHD by the way. But a high level of energy is different than ADHD.
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Well, my mother was by herself with two children - one of whom was at times a smart aleck teenage daughter (not saying who that was). No wonder she was a little emotional. Thanks for helping me advance a little in my appreciation of her.
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justamouse - I feel like crying. What a hard life you had. I admire people who continue in those circumstances to do the best they can for their children. My mother worked very hard too. She was a bit of an emotional mother (like me, but without support so it was more untempered) and I don't think I did or still do appreciate what she did to feed and clothe me (as meager as it was). I remember putting the milk out on the windowsill to keep it cold because the power had been shut off and so no refrigerator. Thank you for the sacrifices you made. I don't begrudge you any help you got, wherever it came from. Did whomever it was who shamed you help you out themselves? If you don't want to answer that question I understand.
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tex-mex - how discouraging. I'm sorry about your experience with the megachurch. I know people who left a church after arriving and being told it was cheerleader Sunday (and that was many years ago).
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Not to be argumentative - I think we have just touched the surface of the many facets of this system and I am learning from everyone's posts. But to correct justamouse, I never said I had problems with the system helping people. I have problems with people lying, cheating and abusing the system. My single mom received food stamps and public assistance at times in my childhood. Mostly she worked very hard, but at times when she needed it she accepted govt. help. I myself went to college partially on govt. grants.
But I am amazed when I don't see a realization that the money has to come from somewhere and that there isn't an endless supply of it. I love my children and want to help them. But I only have so much money. My point is that there has to be limits on how much the govt. system pays out.
Need photo ID for SAT?
in High School and Self-Education Board
Posted
It's really up to the school. The College Board may have policies, but whether or not the school enforces them is another story. The private school where my kids take the PSAT doesn't even ask for an ID. Of course, I would rather be safe than sorry.