Sonshine
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Posts posted by Sonshine
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We need to get a scholarship app. in the mail tomorrow. It asks for a six semester transcript. Do I just send the same transcript I sent to the colleges in the the fall - current as of the end of the summer?
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If she ends up deferring, she may want to spend some of that time studying for the AP/Clep tests. She may have to wait and take them after she starts college, as accumulating credit after she graduates from high school may make her ineligible to enter as a freshman and get those scholarships. However, she may be able to graduate in three years that way and save some money.
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Whatever happened, I am so sorry and I am praying. God bless you and your family.
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I would get out now, before the church finds a way to turn this back around on you. Before alerting anyone at the church as to my plans, I would get legal counsel, even if it s informally from a friend who is a lawyer, on what exactly you need to do to cover your self in case the plot thickens or the IRS goes after the church. Maybe even make copies of everything you have access to.
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No, I have never had my own business in OT - I might someday. I took one course each in accounting, business law, behavioral management (motivating employees), computers (was in the business school back then), and two others - I can't remember what exactly. The accounting was the hardest. It helped me to understand how a business, which hospitals and clinics are, works from the business perspective. But it's just nice to have a business minor, not at all essential.
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So I took my 10 year old with the lisp to the dentist, and a screening by the orthodontist there. They said his tongue thrust is causing both the teeth coming out and the lisp. That his teeth sticking out some on top is not the problem but the result of the problem. Makes sense.
I am thinking of taking him once a week for speech and supplementing at home with a home program. He only has a problem with the s sound. He's a compliant child, so I think he will try to do what he is told to do, both by me and the speech pathologist. Does this sound often enough?
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It seems that different ballet schools have different emphases as far as weight. My close friend's daughter attend the Houston Ballet's school when Ben Stevenson was the director of the Houston Ballet. All was good. When the new director took over, he preferred very skinny girls. On her first day of intensives she arrived expecting to be in the class where boys lifted her. She wasn't. She was told to lose weight. She truly wasn't at all overweight, but wasn't ultra skinny. She did develop a serious eating disorder, among other serious mental health issues, not blamable entirely on the dance school, but made worse related to her experiences there. We are not in the dance world, but from my observation, this is something serious you need to be well informed about.
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Wow -- what a lot of hurt and emotional upheaval. I am so sorry. We had a church issue gone public several years ago and the church has never been the same since to me. And ours was over personality differences, etc, not as serious as what you are describing. My safe we all love one another world was shattered.
At another church, the church closed due to lack of attendance. We were very disappointed in the way the denomination handled the matter regarding selling the two properties the church owned and what they did with the monies.
I wonder what is going on behind the scenes. If he is still employed at the bank in another few weeks, I would question whether his employer was told. I would hope the denomination isn't trying to preserve a public face for the denomination and for the pastor at the expense of doing the right thing. It may be easier for them to sweep it under the rug, let the church fall apart, get the church property, and avoid the uglier reality of a trial, etc. I would hope there are higher morals and values to be ascribed to those in charge now, but time will tell.
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I talked with my oldest daughter today. She very much seemed to understand and received it well. She's the leader of the girls so it's good she seems to be on board. I know she will still have to be worked with when she's not in the good mood she was in today, but I think it was a good start. I still need to talk with my other two, but they actually are much less critical of me than the oldest, so I think it will be an easier habit for them to break. I am much encouraged.
I like secular mom's way of explaining things to my husband - it puts things in a mathematical, less emotional way, which usually works better with my type of husband.
I so appreciate everyone's prayers and insights. They help so much.
Garga - As an aside, I am easily irritated by whistling and humming - it's a sensory thing. Actually, I feel like I am going to go crazy when someone whistles especially. As an adult, I don't react in the way your children do, but feel like having a strong, this has got to stop now reaction. I don't know if you know much about sensory issues, but that may be what is going on with your kids.
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Carol in Calif - wow - someone else knows what I am talking about and can explain it to me about the German personality trait. I am thinking maybe if I apply the carrot and the stick - consequences for unkindness and rewards for kindness, with much talk about what the Bible says, quoting specific verses about loving one another. Emphasizing all of loving one another with our words, not just them loving me. Maybe it's easier to replace an old habit with a new habit. Also, I can reward positive verbal behavior with taking the kids to get a treat, etc.
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Thank you Joanne and Kathleen.
Kathleen - the spiritual guidance is great. You specifically mentioned some ways to draw closer to God and feel His comfort. I will do that.
Joanne - I can't comment much more without getting this thread thrown off. Thank you for your insight.
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Thanks to everyone who has posted. Everyone has made some helpful comments.
To make it clearer - these are not deep criticisms - just like picking on me often with teenage girl type criticisms. Someone with a different personality may consider it banter and handle it with bantering back. It's like they know where I have drawn the line and don't go past that. I think I need to draw the line much closer. Even if they are not deep criticisms they are criticisms and it has gotten to me.
My kids are not afraid of my husband. He wants to be liked by the kids so he doesn't interact with them the way he does with me. He does convey an aura that they wouldn't mess with him the way they mess with me. So maybe there is a little of what you are talking about there, but I don't think that's the root of it.
Teenage girls like to think they know everything and their mothers don't. In a sinful, selfish way it's fun to put others down. When dad sits there, doesn't stop it, and adds just enough to give the idea that it's cool to put down mom, well - you have a family sport of it. Everyone laughs when reminded of the time mom did this - on and on and on with commentary on how I have the fault linked with the incidents mentioned. Yes, this happens daily.
I do think I will ask them how they would feel if I constantly made fun of their ability in their sport - they are the least skilled players on their team, so they can't claim not to care because they know they are good.
Husband does occasionally respond to me asking him how he would feel if I was treating him similarly and put the situation into the context of his world. I may try that - will have to think about it.
I think for now, I may take away privileges like the cell phone. I will give them warning that for the next sport season, I will not be driving them that day or the next day, etc. if they have been unkind to me. Then they can decide if they want to play or not. The next sport season, I am not so close to the coaches, other families, etc, so it will be a good time to start this. If they can't get their act together for that season, then it would really pain them to miss their favorite sport which starts up again in the fall.
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Mrs. Brooke - No, I do not speak to them sarcastically, or any any other inappropriate or unkind way.
Husband does better with curtailing his critical behavior when he has consequences - he does not respond to rational appeals - makes it worse in fact.
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Yes - I love the idea of giving compliments! I already compliment them a fair amount. It doesn't seem to mean much to them - maybe they either take it for granted or it isn't their love language. I can teach them to make a habit of complimenting everyone in the family, me included.
Peela - thank you for sharing. I can't say much more on that issue but it's good to hear other's experiences.
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I did major in psychology prior to getting my masters in OT, but really think I could have read a lot of books in the field and learned just as much. I minored in business and thought that was helpful. One thing I would have found helpful would have been knowing how to give tests to diagnose learning disabilities and how to treat dyslexia, etc. from an educator's perspective. I don't know any OT who has done this, but I would think it would be very helpful. I imagine that is under the education umbrella, but think it may be only at the master's level - I'm not sure. If you can take just a course or two in that, I would go for it. You may want to just go for the OT degrees and take individual courses that are particularly helpful.
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Wow - lots of wonderful insight. I am truly grateful.
Speaking with my husband does not help a thing. I am better off dealing with this on my own. He will not go to counseling. Yes, his unconcern hurts the most. However, I can stay away from him more than I can and should stay away from the kids. I am not responsible to raise him to be a loving person. There is a lot more to say about this but I won't.
I think if I sit each girl down by themselves and explain everything you ladies have mentioned, Bible verses and all, they will get it at some level. I know I will still have to have consequences. Maybe I'm making that part more complicated than it needs to be. It's hard to figure out what to take away and for how long.
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^^^ So sit each one down, have a heart to heart talk, then follow up on not signing them up for the next sport when things don't change? I don't mean to be a pessimist, but I think they will have to learn the hard way.
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^^^ So are you saying take privileges away at the first rude remark? And keep taking more away until they stop? The problem is I run out of privileges that I can think of to take away. That is why I am thinking of just taking away a huge privilege for a time.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah - I know what you are saying about the marriage issue. Been there, dealt with a lot of things myself. Counselors were not helpful. Books and friends are much more helpful than counselors have been. My focus can't be on changing him as it is more productive to to focus on setting my own boundaries with my children. I didn't think of it as allowing them to emotionally and verbally abuse me. Thank you for that insight.
The sports organization we are in has a lot of close families. I would rather not sign the girls up to begin with than put my friends in a predicament.
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I may be wrong, but I really don't think they care how I feel. It is hard to teach someone to care about that when is is not a shared family value.
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One of my daughters does the laundry. The girls and I take turns cooking. They are not bad girls - but the critical attitude has got to stop. Again, at best my husband is not helpful in this area. But brainstorming to think of what privileges, etc they have is great. One daughter is very tied in to her cellphone.
Again, though she needs that with her when she goes to sports. I have to make sure she knows who to ride home with when carpooling, etc. She could do without it for some of the time however. Even being without it half the time would bother her. Watching TV is a big hobby with the kids. In fact, one of the girls is grounded from that for 2 weeks currently.
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I don't mind at all telling them they are being rude, etc. It's like talking to the wall. The girls level of criticism seems well withing "normal" bounds for teenage girls that think they know more than than their mothers. They have been grounded for anything any ruder. However, their social life through their sport is enough that they don't suffer too much when grounded. That is why I am thinking of drawing a line and not signing them for the next sport season, which is coming in 1 1/2 months.
However, it just gets really discouraging when the family is sitting around and they take turns putting me down. That is not what I signed up for in a Christian marriage. Honestly, with the approval and joining in by my husband the only thing that has worked in the past has been setting boundaries in very concrete ways. For example, when dropping off one of my older sons at work years ago, he started an ugly argument. I told him I wasn't driving him to work the next few days because I didn't care to be around people who were unkind to me. My husband chose to drive him to work and came down hard on him because my husband was put out that he had to drive him to work. He had to suffer my husband's anger because he put my husband out not because my husband thought he was out of line to treat me in such a manner. However this worked and my son refrained from this behavior when receiving a ride from me to work.
Again, I am trying to keep from being too discouraged and looking for ideas in dealing with this and setting tighter boundaries with the girls.
I so appreciate Jean's kindness and insight and your ideas too silliness
Need quick answer about transcript
in The College Board
Posted
Thank you. I am having trouble getting the transcript to convert to a 7 semester transcript anyway (I am terrible at getting the software program to work right), so I will stick with what they ask for.