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Country Girl

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    PhD Graduation/Defense

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Dh defends his PhD dissertation next week and I want to do something special to celebrate the event but can't come up with any good ideas. He really isn't a jewelry/plaque sort of guy and I can't come up with anything else. I've thought of a surprise open house type party but am a little concerned about the guest list (who to invite who not to etc.). Any ideas?

    Betsy-Tacy Series and another RA question

    in K-8 Curriculum Board

    Posted

    My ds loved The Mysterious Benedict Society. He has been begging us for the second book (Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey) but I'm trying to hold him off until Christmas. Another one that we just finished that he also really enjoyed along the same lines was Chasing Vermeer by Blue Balliett. There are also a couple of follow up books in this series as well and my ds just checked out one of the others yesterday.

     

    HTH!

    Discipline vs Punishment

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    A few quick ideas....

     

    Talking back

     

    1) my brother has his daughter (6) ask if she may give her opinion/idea. If the answer is no, she must immediately comply. If the answer is yes, she may state her case and then a decision will be made. He figures this is most like what he must do at work so she might as well learn it early on. Only real issue with this, as we both see it, is that at 6, dd can't notice subtle nuances of situations to know when it's okay to even ask or not. But he finds it's a minor problem and she'll learn in time.

     

    2) In our home, we did "comply first, then question" for awhile. Then in time, kiddo is given opportunity to appeal occassionally in the situation as long as they do so respectfully such as "may I take the trash out after I finish this chapter?" In times where things got too loose (bumps in every road), we just went back to comply first for awhile.

     

    Speaking respectfully:

     

    A couple things. Practice practice practice. Do some role playing. Make sure they "get it." However, most of the time, this is more about not handling feelings appropriately. Make sure they are gaining skills on recognizing and expressing themselves appropriately in order that they don't do so incorrectly.

     

    The SECOND that there is a tone, poor word choice, etc, redirect them. "try again." You may have a code sign of holding up two fingers. That means they have 2 seconds to try again or say they need a little more time and will come back when they are ready to try again. We often said, "TOV" (tone of voice). Sometimes he had to intentionally be sing-songy at first. In time, he was able to gain appropriate control. It is okay to be mad about something, but a respectable person doesn't have to express that inappropriately (and often can not express it to others at all but instead can just get the good out of the situation and move on).

     

    I am going based on your siggy that y'all believe in God and the Bible. Children are given ONE commandment and that is to obey and honor their parents (Eph 6:1-3 with a few parallels). If they honor this relationship, they are also honoring God. Sometimes kids will try extra hard for God :) Also, it might help to share with them all the scriptures that talk about how it's only because you love them that you discipline at all. If you didn't care, you'd let them do "whatever."

     

    When we've had this bump, it's usually because things have been more critical, less "family-like" around here. We step up the commendation. We try to make sure we're doing enough as a family. We work on the relationship. Screen time, stress, illness, etc can all pull very hard on people. Kids don't always get that. Just evaluate things that could be taking away from the family and go from there.

     

    Yelling is almost always because mom isn't following through immediately on something. We get frustrated when we tell kids the same thing 3 times in 5 minutes. If we follow through the first time, we have less reason to be flustered. Also, kids will TRY to hear a whispering mom. When you WANT to yell, try whispering instead. Also, maybe meditate on the scriptures regarding being calmer, cooler, less angry. I'm working on this myself.

     

    On the chores....I'd just sit them down and make it clear that a complaining attitude is not peaceful and will not be accepted. They can do a chore cheerfully or do it miserably, but they may not make anyone else miserable in the process. And really, why not find a way to be cheerful about it and give themselves a bit more peace too? Tell them to trust ya (you've been around longer), it'll work. Maybe suggest they could put on fave music or something during chore time or something like that. Ask THEM for ideas to make it more pleasant.

     

    Hope some of these ideas work. The biggest thing is to be consistent so you are trustworthy and not frustrated. Every time you don't follow through immediately, you tell them that they might can get away with something.

     

    Pamela,

     

    Thank you very much for taking the time to give suggestions. As I read your suggestions, I think "duh" why didn't I think of that. They really seem to make sense and I'll give them a try. Your suggestion to meditate on scripture is also a great idea as far as helping me with my frustration/anger. I know that you are right about being consistent and this is something I will try to work on.

     

    Thanks!

    MCT's Classics in the Classroom vs. Teaching the Classics

    in Accelerated Learner Board

    Posted

    Thanks for the comments. It definitely sounds interesting. We are using some of his other materials this year and really enjoying them. I think I'll add this to my list of things to buy when the budget allows.

     

    Thanks!

     

    I can't compare the two, but I've read the MCT about a dozen times. My favourite section gets its title from a quote by a professor from his college days: "Any book worth its salt will provide you with the terms for its own interpretation!"

     

     

     

    They do not write [books] hoping to be STUDIED. They write their books in rich, resonant, self-interpreting language, and this language is to be folded back on the book. With care. Each book is designed to open itself. [Followed by examples.]

     

     

    ...

     

     

    What is gained by asking if Holden Caulfield is a
    protagonist
    ? I do think that such terms should be part of what students learn, but we need not deceive ourselves that such helpful concepts are the path to enlightenment. That path is left by the author within the book, and if we do not make ourselves transparent and take the author's path, then it is pointless to look for external assistance in understanding the book.

     

    Discipline vs Punishment

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted · Edited by Country Girl

    Thanks Pamela.

     

    I'm not really even sure what specific things they are. I just feel like there is too much yelling, punishing, etc. going on and that we are generally too hard on our kiddos. Don't get me wrong, my kids are really pretty well behaved and I don't think we are complete tyrants. I just feel like I want something better for our family, me, and the kids. A few weeks ago I posted about a related topic and a few people suggested the book "Grace Based Parenting". I read this book and really liked it but felt a little lost when it came to implementing the ideas in our home. I know that I want a grace-based home, I'm just not exactly sure how that looks and how to make it happen. The reason I posted on this topic is because I feel it is related to the idea of discipline -vs- punishment. Right now I'm in the middle of reading through Joanne's entire website and really enjoying it and getting some ideas from there.

     

    Thanks for helping me think through this and providing wisdom!

     

    Editing to add: Okay, I just thought of some specifics. They are mostly issues with my 7yo ds but I notice my 4yo is learning from big brother. They are: talking back, speaking disrespectfully to me, and complaining about doing daily chores (they get allowance for doing these and if they don't do them... no allowance).

    Discipline vs Punishment

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    CountryGirl,

     

    I think a lot IS in the attitude, but also how related it is. If a child throws the ball in the house, he loses the ball for misusing it. It's put on the fridge. If he wants to use it, he needs to let me know he knows how/where to use the ball and I'll gladly give it back. These are pretty logical consequences anyone could think of. Some people might put the ball up for the rest of the day. This could be logical or punitive. Putting it up away from a 2yo for the rest of the week is punitive (or lazy such as "I just don't want to deal with it.") though.

     

    I really aim at prevention and encouragement. I want children to learn to think for themselves. Can mommy talk on the phone AND to Timmy at the same time? Kids can learn this basic reasoning at 2 and 3. So then we come up with a way for Timmy to say, "I really need to tell you something" while mom is on the phone. He places his hand on mom's leg. Mom responds, in essence saying, "I notice you and will be right with you," by placing her hand on his. At her earliest convenience, she excuses herself from the conversation temporarily or completely and addresses Timmy.

     

    Another option is that when the phone rings, everyone goes to their special 'phone' toys or area. Or mom doesn't answer the phone during certain hours making call backs during naptime.

     

    BTW, I'm STRONGLY against punishment in the training phase as I feel it's unfair at best. The child doesn't yet know the rules but is getting in trouble for it? especially when it's usually when the parent hasn't set up the situation well? How fair is that? Instead, I feel the training time is based on guiding and helping so they learn the rules of the road, so to speak.

     

    Pamela,

    Thanks for expanding on your thoughts. There are a few things in our home right now that I'm not very happy with and I'm determined to change them (me). I appreciate the time you have taken to share how things work in your house.

     

    Thanks!

    a real town hall meeting!

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    During the debate I was working on my preferred format.

     

    Audience member asks question.

    Candidates answer.

    Audience member gets followup minute to ask further questions on the same topic, clarify answers, or to just say, "Wow, you totally avoided answering my question in any way, shape, or form!"

    Continue in like manner.

    Moderator quits interrupting with extraneous time comments.

    At the end of the debate, the audience members vote on who won so we don't have to listen to the media argue.

     

    Think any candidates will go for it?

     

    Sounds great! I'll definitely watch that debate. If only the Presidential race was really about the American people.;)

    Discipline vs Punishment

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Wow, thank you everyone for all of the thoughtful replies. I have read through them all but am still processing all of the ideas, thoughts, etc. I especially appreciate those who gave examples of how you actually discipline. I get the concept of how discipline is different from punishment but still a little foggy on how it should look in our home. These examples are helping.

     

    Another thought that came to my mind..... Is the difference between a given consequence being labeled as discipline -vs- punishment just a matter of attitude? In other words, if a child has a consequence for a given action, is it considered discipline if you have the attitude that you are trying to teach them something and punishment if you are doing it because you are mad, getting revenge, etc? To me, it seems there should be more to it than that and I guess this is what I am trying to figure out. Is a consequence only discipline when it is a natural (not imposed by me) result of a given action?

     

    In my life, I've had people tell me that the reason you give a child a consequence [sitting in a corner, withholding privileges, even spanking(please, no discussion on this... I don't plan to do this just giving background on what parenting philosophies I've encountered)] is to try to "train" them "teach" them etc. However, something seems "off" about this to me and I'm really trying to figure out how I can discipline my kiddos and not punish them when they do something wrong (which happens occasionally :D).

     

    Thanks for the great discussion and insight so far. I'd still love to hear further responses.

     

    Thanks!

    Just have to tell you - I made the most AMAZING granola bars today

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    I would think that as long as you make the proportions of dry to "glue" using seeds and whatever else you want, that they would come out great. If you try them let me know what you think!

     

    They are chewy, not crunchy. I definitely agree that if the "glue" goes too long, they would be too hard. You could even stop short of boiling the honey/butter mixture and then that wouldn't be a risk, but they would still be a bar. If you spread them out thinner - on a jelly roll pan - then they would be crispier, rather than chewy. So many options!

     

    I made these today and they are YUMMY!:drool5: I really, really, like them (maybe a bit too much:D). Since I had to leave out the 1cup of peanuts I increased the amounts of oats, and sunflower seeds, and added pumpkin seeds, and flax seeds. I used bake dried, unsweetened mango. I loved them. My kids seemed to be fans as well. My 2yo dd was calling it candy, so I guess it gets a definite thumbs up from her.

     

    Thanks for sharing the recipe!

    Hannah, a question about your spelling program

    in K-8 Curriculum Board

    Posted

    Wow, I have never seen this before, but it looks really good. I think we are beyond the first level but I am definitely going to keep my eyes open for the release of your second level. We are also currently using AAS but I leave quite a bit out and don't like spending so much on spelling. I may also consider this for my younger kiddos when we get to this point (in a year or two). Thanks for your hard work.

    Medical Question: Chest X-ray

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    My dh had a chest x-ray done last week because he has been complaining of chronic chest/bronchial congestion. The x-ray was clear for fluid etc. so doc said it must just be a lingering virus. This morning the doctor's office called to say that the after the radiologist reviewed the x-rays, he and the doctor agreed that they saw old scar tissue on his lung. She emphasized that the tissue was old, nothing new. They want him to come back in 2 months for a repeat x-ray to check for stability. My first thoughts were that this is nothing, if it is old (as she emphasized) it must not be effecting him so nothing to worry about. However, as I think more about it..... if it is nothing why bother with a repeat x-ray? My husband is gone on a business trip and won't be back until this afternoon. After I tell him the news he may have more questions and we'll call the office back. But until then, I'm relying on you guys to calm my fears.

     

    Thanks!

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