[Prayers and good thoughts]

Sending you all the get well soon vibes. Hugs.

 

[JAWM Kids friends issues]

Sorry! Couldn't get rid of the quote at first.

Sounds like a case of 'friend's little angel can do no wrong'. There really is nothing to discuss, at all in that case.

I once had a discussion with a mom who "witnessed my child being mean to her child" by not letting her sit in the same bus seat as her. It took a bit of chatting, but eventually  she confessed the part where her child hip-checked mine first and she refused to share her seat in response to that. She could not get it through her head that her child was the jerk in the situation. I told her if her kid touched mine again that she'd soon discover who can be a real jerk if need be.

 

[Prayers for Fil]

I agree with everything Faith-manor said.

And I agree that it is easier said than done, but do the best can to keep those boundaries strong.

Sending strength and hugs.

[JAWM Kids friends issues]

Text back: There is nothing to discuss. Have a nice life. 👋🏼👋🏼

[Need organization help--kitchen desk edition]

Where is this in relation to your most-uses entry/exit door?

If you don't need it for kitchen use or a drink station, I'd evaluate what kind of "random junk" is landing there and why.

If close to your entryway, it can be set up to be used as your landing zone for keys, wallets, sunglasses, library books, shopping bags - anything in transit into or out of the house and just processed and straightened out daily.

If not close to the door, it can be your "command central" for all paperwork, calendars, mail sorting and processing, etc. that it takes to run the household.

Or, clear the counter off and put a large-ish vase or piece of art there, for decoration only. It doesn't have to be a productive area, it can still be functional, even if the function is a place to add beauty to the room.

[Cancer treatment (friend)]

I can kind of sew, but probably won't have time. I will shop and drop either this weekend or Wednesday of next week, while working 9 hrs/weekday between now and then.

[Cancer treatment (friend)]

TLDR: Please suggest comfort items for a cancer patient. Will she need lotion? Chocolate? Fuzzy socks?
 

A friend of mine who lives in a different city will begin chemo for colon cancer next week.

Kids are 17 & 13 years old.

I plan to give some restaurant gift cards and maybe a couple frozen meals and snacks to have on hand.

I am also thinking about putting together a gift basket/bag for her with some comfort items while she does treatment. I'm thinking a super soft blanket/throw that is easily washable and portable.

What else would you put in a bag or basket that she can either take with her to her treatments, or will want nearby to the couch/bed/easy chair at home during rest/recovery from treatments?

ETA: I can drive to deliver the items, it's just too far away for day-day meal/in home help. Although I could offer to do laundry/clean house on a weekend.

 

[JAWM: when you answer a question, start with the basics]

@Tap Yep, relatable!

Me after those exchanges: 🤯🤬😭😂

 

[My sick day]

I'm sorry you are sick. I hope you feel better soon.

It was nice of the universe to rearrange your schedule so you can rest.

[JAWM: when you answer a question, start with the basics]

15 hours ago, ktgrok said:

My husband and youngest daughter tend to be walking recipe blogs...in that there are stories, photos, anecdotes, and memories told way way before you get to the pertinent information. 

I'm very tempted to say, "jump to recipe" when they start. I just want the answer to my question, not a memoir. 

Lol, this describes my DH and DD very well, actually. I might have to steal this and tell them to skip to recipe. 😂

My DH also starts things in his head and finishes them out loud, then gets grouchy at me for not knowing what he's talking about. Or will continue a conversation from two weeks ago without any warning or indication.

A made up example for a semi-common occurrence.

Scene: DH and I in a car or same room, not talking...

Him: He still works at Acme Anvil company, I think.

Me: Who and what are you talking about?

Him: Wile E. Coyote

Me: Ok, but why?

Him: You mentioned Road Runner a couple weeks ago when we were talking about xyz.

Me: Oh. Alrighty.

 

[JAWM: when you answer a question, start with the basics]

17 hours ago, kbutton said:

JAWM: if you tell me that I need to know abc because of xyz, and I ask what xyz is, maybe you should tell me what xyz is instead of using different words to tell me, once again, that I need to know abc, which is very obvious from the original message. Xyz could be a person, place, thing, etc., and abc could be something like “be early.” And of course, in addition to defining xyz, I’d like to know how knowing abc relates to xyz. 

Seems basic to me.

Is this a lost cause?

I feel like I now need to tack onto every request for information a basic template. Years ago my kids saw a speech therapist who used something called an Expanding Expression Tool precisely to teach them how to formulate very basic answers. Now I can’t get high school teachers to include the most pertinent information in a basic answer. They dance all around it. 

 

 

Communication is easier than it has ever been in the history of humans, and yet this...

People do not actually know how to communicate necessary information. It is crazy-making. Some of my family members are the worst!

[TIL that flapjacks are VERY different things in the USA and the UK!]

11 hours ago, Drama Llama said:

Sounds like beaver tails in Canada.

I'm actually in Canada and beaver tails is a newer commercial term, mostly found in tourist areas, yes. They are also know as elephant ears at fairs and carnivals. But, my grandparents called them flapjacks when they made them at home since before my parents were born. 

[TIL that flapjacks are VERY different things in the USA and the UK!]

Interesting. Our (family) version of flapjacks is fried bread dough. Served with choice of butter, jam, powdered sugar, honey, cinnamon sugar, etc. Basically a homemade doughnut without the hole.

[Is this normal for a high school senior]

I remember burning out in Gr. 12/senior year and I see it happening a bit with my DS this year, too. He's tired and ready to  be done.

He has also already decided to take a gap year to just work before doing any more schooling, so he's pushing through, because he sees the light at the end of the tunnel, but he has done more complaining about school in this first semester than in the rest of his life combined.

He was informed a couple weeks ago that his marks currently have him in the top 5 candidates for valedictorian, so it hasn't affected his marks much, yet. He does have a spare period each semester this year, so I think that helps probably more than he or I realized until just now.

My DD had actually started to show signs of burnout/shutting down in her senior year, too - procrastinating on scholarship apps for sure.  Then the world shut down and gave her a break from school.

[Where should we move?]

I will agree with @kirstenhill that Rochester, MN  is easy to fit in in.

IME, when we moved there, it was like we moved into a suburb in the 1950's. Our across the street neighbours brought homemade cookies to introduce themselves. One down the street neighbour invited our kids to play on their playset whenever they wanted - whether their kids were playing or not. One other down the street neighbour invited me to join their quilting circle, and there was a neighbourhood block party/potluck every August.

Granted, not every neighbourhood will be quite as organized and welcoming, but we also made friends or friendly acquaintance with many of the parents at the school functions as well.

We were only there two years, but they were friendly years.

[If you want to be a real jerk, do this!]

I wouldn't kill the bug, either. And, I wouldn't take kindly to the demand "could you just kill the damn bug!" 
 

I also will not kill the spider. It is reasonable of you to make a request, but is also reasonable for others to DENY that request. 
 

It sounds very entitled to get online and tell the www that not complying with your requests makes other people "real jerks". Your phobia/anxiety is not the other person's problem, and is not their responsibility to make you comfortable.

 

Edit: I do agree that saying you need to grow up is a jerk move.

[It’s not me, it’s PERRY…]

1 hour ago, cintinative said:

several?! hahahahaha! It's been at least a decade for me. 😃

Several is many. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Up to 15 years or so for a lot of women.

1 hour ago, saraha said:

I thought the exact same thing when she said that!!!

Also, not mentioned in the video, but part of the package for some, including myself... itchy ears!! 😩😩

1 hour ago, Just Kate said:

“Symptoms range from mild to pure hell…”

My 48 year old perimenopausal self is over hear cracking up at your description. 🤣🤣🤣

Turning 48 in a couple months, myself. I'm deep in the throes of this 💩, too. 

Solidarity!

[It’s not me, it’s PERRY…]

51 minutes ago, Janeway said:

What is the difference between Perimenopause and menopause? I thought it took a year. I seem to have tons of books about becoming a teen but nothing about growing old.

You are considered in menopause - menses paused/stopped - after going a full 12 months without a period.

Perimenopause is the several years prior to menopause when your body is in transition from fertility to non-fertility. Symptoms range from mild to pure hell and include physical, mental, emotional, and generally also comes with a side of gaslighting that "it's all in your head" or "can't be that bad". 
 

[Wowzers, a lot of shitty stuff has been happening here.]

That is a lot. Hugs. Wishing you the most boring, mundane, and uneventful rest of 2024. 

[Quick update on J (dd's SO).]

Such a good update! I'm glad he is recovering and that the bills will mostly be covered. 

[Resolved; thank you!]

"I'm not interested in doing any teaching right now, but I am open to manual labour or helping out in other ways."

[Living paycheck to paycheck (article)]

1 hour ago, Heartstrings said:

What I have seen is that housing is unlikely to go down substantially because even though we are building a lot, it’s not been enough to keep up with population growth. 
 

Builders slowed down in 2008 and while they picked up the pace after that it was never enough to make up for the lost inventory.  Builders are also incentivized  to build less than demand to keep prices high.  
 

It seems to me that house prices only go down when the economy is thoroughly terrible, like in 2008, so Im not actually hoping for that.  A slow down in the growth rate would be fine though.  
What we need to help young people and lower middle income people is to change building patterns and build affordable housing not just huge expensive homes that make builders the most money.  We need to be building starter homes that would be priced well for people actually starting out.  

Before "we" build affordable housing, "we" need to put more regulations in place regarding who can buy those houses.

We don't need more AirBNB, VRBOs, or "investment property rental home" owners, corporate or individual, buying up all of the inventory.

[Texas National Guard blocked Border Patrol access to river; mother and two children drowned]

.

[Living paycheck to paycheck (article)]

On 1/12/2024 at 8:01 PM, Bootsie said:

I am having a diffcult time seeing how this could ever be implemented.  Do workers today (who were not working for the company 2 years ago), get a salary based on the average profits of the company for the past 5 years?  Or, do workers get paid 3-5 years after they have worked, once we have an idea of how productive those workers were?  What happens when a worker is with a company for one year?  Do they get a wage based on a an average of years when they had nothing to do with the comapny?  How is all of this split when there is not the same number of workers year-to-year, much less montht-to-month, or week-to-week?  What happens if the 3-5 year average profit is zero?  What about workers in a not-for-profit sector?  

More importantly, is there any evidence that workers, in general, prefer a profit-sharing pay scheme to a contractual wage/salary?  

I'm sure you're aware that profits are what is left over after expenses including wages, yes? I didn't say just profits, I said profits and stockholder dividends and that it would be a percentage formula, possibly averaged over 3-5 years and they can't pay megabucks to the CEOs.
 

I wasn't trying to formulate an equation, I was expressing an opinion. Corporate greed is out of control and under-regulated. If companies had to base their minimum wages on a combination of profits, shareholder dividends, and CEO compensation packages, the worker bees would be more fairly compensated for the value they add to the company and the economy.

There's probably a mathematician or two who can create a more fair compensation formula, using various company financial metrics, than the one we currently operate under whether you can imagine it or not. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

[Living paycheck to paycheck (article)]

19 hours ago, Bootsie said:

So, in years that a corporation has negative profits should wages be based on the percent of a negative number, and workers receive negative wages?  

I didn't say anything about a year. Maybe it would be averaged over 3-5 years. 🤷🏻‍♀️ The point is that the current pace of low/no regulation or restrictions on capitalism and corporate greed is FUBARing the world exponentially every year it is allowed to continue.