scrappyhappymama
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Posts posted by scrappyhappymama
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Can't you fill out the space with "no preference" or "willing to adopt a boy or girl"? There is usually a similar question regarding race preferences (if any) and prospective adoptive parents can certainly specify a particular race or allow for being open to adopting from any race. I can't imagine that the same understanding would not be available for gender.
If, however, your question is more about what gender would best fit in with your particular family dynamic, I'd say that if you feel no strong preference either way, then I'd probably lean to the same gender as your older child.
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I know a person irl, who is like an internet troll. They may be telling a story about a true event, but twist and manipulate the original story so much that it becomes a work of fiction by the end. This person purposefully omits parts of the story, and over emphasizes other parts to make a common place event seem like a horrid event took place. When people, like myself, start to ask questions about the story, people like him (and trolls), just make the story more outrageous or start a fight to avoid the question.
This is the type of person who I am talking about.....they walk a fine line, between legit poster and a trouble maker. They may not be a young teenage boy, pretending to be a mother of 15 but these posters do cause trouble just the same.
I do not try to 'out' these posters. I typically search old thread to verify what I think and just avoid them. I figure that every time someone posts in one of their threads....it brings it to the top and feeds them. I try to not do that.
I also know a few people in real life like this. Ev.e.ry.thing. is a big dramatic event in their life. These also tend to be the people who post updates on Facebook like this: "{family member} was hit by a car, heading to ER" and then don't update or answer their cell phone for hours. In the meantime, everyone is freaking out and posting messages of prayer and concern and family members are trying to find out which hospital and what happened, and then finally, hours later, you find out it was just a fender bender and they went to the ER as a precaution. :glare: Once, you might excuse this as someone who wasn't thinking clearly, but over and over and over and over, you start to detect a pattern of drama, ykwim?
I think there are probably some posters on this (and every) forum that aren't really trolls, but fall into this "life of drama" category. Just as in real life, I tend to read their posts with a bemused smile and a sense of detachment. Sometimes I can't help myself and question an inconsistency in the story, but it's nearly always an exercise in futility, because there will be some further dramatic explanation to explain away the supposed inconsistency.
Generally, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, that they are not actually a troll, but someone crying out for help, even if in a dramatic and slightly annoying way. It does bother me when someone's post for help turns into accusations of trolling. I just think how hurt I would feel if I poured out my heart to a bunch of strangers and they started to doubt me and gang up on me. I'd like to think I'd never get to such a place, but who knows what a truly traumatic event could do?
I cannot use the ignore feature. I tried it, then every time that person posted it would say, "SoandSo posted here but is on your ignore list, click here to see what SoandSo said." I am no good at ignoring, I just have to know what in the world this person said. Yes, I usually get irritated anyway, but I just have to know!I will not respond to said people though, I just don't wish to converse with them any longer.
Dawn
:iagree: I tried ignore as well, but curiosity always got the better of me.
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We don't do time outs per se. That is, I don't call them time outs, and they don't sit somewhere by themselves. But with my nearly 3 year old, I respond to tantrums and other outright defiance by holding him firmly in my lap and not allowing him to have/do whatever he is tantruming about. He fights me at first and repeats his demands, but I just calmly respond with my decision and hold firm. Generally, I intend to have him sit calmly in my lap for three minutes, but in practice it is usually a minute or two after he surrenders all that anger and sits calmly in my lap. I tell him he can resume playing when he is willing to obey mama, and now once he's calmed he'll usually something like "I obey now mama" or "I happy now mama" and then I'll let him down. Occasionally, his frustration will last longer than 5 minutes, but that's pretty rare now.
I really believe our little guys just need help controlling their storm of emotions, and personally haven't seen or experienced much success in this area by setting them off away from me for a time. On the other hand, this can vary by child and age, because another one of my boys would lose his head sometimes at an older age (between 5-7) and for him, an enforced quiet time alone on his bed was really effective in helping him calm down.
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I understand. My kids are still mad at us that we had our dog fixed. She was a stray that we adopted, but she went into heat before we could have her spayed and fortunately we were able to keep her from getting pregnant. But we had to explain to the boys what in the world was going on with her, and they were very excited that she could have puppies and very annoyed with DH and I when we told them we'd be taking her in to make sure she didn't. They still say "the next time Misha can have puppies" and get disappointed all over again when we remind them that she never will. They think I am very mean, and my seven year old even told me maybe I should be the one to get fixed then. LOL. (I am currently expecting baby #5) Aw, well. Someday they'll understand.
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- Put up lots of signs from every direction leading to your house.
- List in the local paper if it doesn't cost too much.
- List on Craigslist. You can delete the ad right afterwards so your address doesn't hang out there forever.
-We have great luck with selling snacks and drinks along with our sale. Donuts and coffee/cocoa in the morning and cold sodas and ice pops in the later morning when it's hot. We make money and it keeps our kids occupied.
-Try to have things as organized as possible. People WILL dig through buckets of clothes, if they are priced low enough. Clothes spread out on blankets never do as well as clothing in tubs sorted by gender or age or price. Clothing that you have priced $1 or more should be hung, but be selective and don't price anything for much more than that. This is not the place to sell specialty clothing or new with tag items unless you're willing to let them go for super cheap.
-Merchandise your tables as nicely as you can and rearrange them often during the day as things sell. Things that look appealing sell much better. Make sure items are reasonably clean and check for anything like old coffee filters in machines, splatters on kitchen appliances, etc. You would not believe the gross stuff I've come across at garage sales and it turns me off to the entire sale. Run a clorox wipe or magic eraser over kids toys or baby gear. Cleaned up stuff sells for more.
-Try to have something that will appeal to various demographics. I try to make sure we have some tools and manly stuff at each sale. Going in on a sale with friends is a great way to expand your selection, and to have more help the day of the sale.
-Greet people and be friendly. If they know you've seen them, they are less likely to steal from you. Also, thank them when they leave, even if they haven't purchased anything. You'd be surprised how often people leave to go get a friend or family member and come back to purchase something later.
-Be ready to bargain, especially toward the end of the day. We've had good luck with offering the clothing "Fill a Bag for $2" toward the end of the day. I usually post something on Craigslist around noon and include any end of sale bargains we are offering.
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I've had clear/grey evap lines after the time limit that meant nothing. But each time (two different pregnancies) I've had a line with color after the time limit, it turned out I was in fact pregnant just very early. Being a week late doesn't negate that possibility because you could have ovulated late.
A few pregnancies back, DH insisted I quit wasting money on and obsessing over the lines on pregnancy tests, and said "just buy the digital!" The one drawback is that digitals are not supposed to be as sensitive, so you might get a false negative if you test too early. But the benefit is that there is no ambiguity in "pregnant" or "not pregnant." :001_smile: So in your case, I'd buy a digital, before going to the trouble and expense of an office visit and blood test.
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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
I'm so sorry. I haven't been in this exact position before, but last year we lost what we thought was DH's dream job. I won't thread hijack and go into all the details, but we call it our annus horribilis. It involved thinking we were getting *exactly* what we had hoped for for several years, giving up a lot that we wouldn't have otherwise, dealing with months of unemployment and heartache. But in the end, we ended up in an even better place, with an even better job, and more overall stability. We are still recovering in some ways from all the upheaval, but overall it's been a better outcome for us. In a few years, hopefully I'll feel actually grateful for what we went through. ;)
All that to say, if for some reason this falls through for you guys, then hopefully it is because there is something even better down the road lined up for you. More :grouphug: because I know it doesn't lessen the hurt right now.
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Congrats! He is ADORABLE!
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My husband works in the healthcare industry. For the last two years, premiums increased significantly on his employer health insurance. Then he lost his job and although he did eventually find a new one, he is now considered an independent contractor of the hospital, so we are stuck paying for our own insurance. Even though he does the exact same type of work he did before, hospitals and physician groups now have a bigger incentive to hire folks as contractors to avoid the increasing benefits costs.
Since we pay for insurance ourselves, the only potentially reasonable plan is a high deductible plan. Even so, our monthly premium is equivalent to a mortgage payment on a modest house. And since it is high deductible, we end up paying for the majority of our health care costs ourselves, on top of the premiums. For example, we are paying completely out of pocket for the birth of our new child this year, because although insurance companies can't deny you coverage overall for pre-existing conditions, they don't have to cover those specific conditions. FWIW, I was not pregnant until two months after our coverage began, but they don't pay for births for the first year. They also don't cover any major dental for the first year, so although I have a broken tooth, I have four more months before they will cover any portion of the root canal and crown I need.
Compared to the 80/20 coverage we used to have, this doesn't feel like progress at all. And since my husband is in the industry, he says there is a lot of talk about this, and the consensus is that the other shoe has not even begun to drop, with regard to the long term effects on the health care industry.
To be fair, I am sympathetic to the needs of the uninsured and under-insured. I'm just not sure that the solution was shuttling more of us into the under-insured category. :glare:
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It costs a lot to get paint damage repaired. The body shop has to buff the area, repaint, cover the whole panel or panels to get it to match. Often part of an additional section has to be blend the paint color as even the same brand/color isn't going to be an exact match every time.
I think an appropriate punishment for us would be that DS lost his scooter for a long time. If you can't be responsible and follow the rules, you don't get to play with the toy. KWIM?
I agree on both counts. I was in a minor fender bender a few months ago and the damage on my car seemed relatively minor to me and it cost the other folks insurance three times that amount to fix. While at the shop, I asked about how much it would cost out of pocket to fix a door ding and small dent on the side of my van that annoys me since my car is still relatively new to me. It would have been $500 or $600, so I decided to continue to be annoyed. :lol:
If this was my son, I would definitely be benching the scooter for a while, and he'd be spending several Saturday mornings doing extra chores or yard work to help "pay off" some of the expense to DH and I. Since he normally spends this time playing video games, he would absolutely recognize the opportunity cost of disregarding the rules.
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It took my son a full year of WWE to get comfortable with narration. His mind just doesn't work that way naturally. :001_smile: It was especially hard for him to get the idea of summarizing down, because he'd much prefer to tell me the whole story in great detail. :D So our first year of WWE involved a lot of handholding, rereading, restating, and patience. But I really believed in the methodology and knew that my son would never learn to write clearly and concisely if he couldn't think clearly and concisely. Now, we are nearly through WWE 2 and I am happy to report that he narrates beautifully and summarizes with much more ease. It was a long process, but very worth it in my opinion.
I read at some point that the narrations in FLL were not necessary if we were also doing the narrations in WWE, so since my son was already struggling in narrations, we've always skipped those. No harm done, and we enjoyed the discussions of grammar and the memorization portions of FLL.
A couple of other suggestions regarding WWE. My understanding is that SWB specifically split them into level 1-4 rather than grade 1-4, because it is intended that the younger elementary child start at level one, regardless of the grade level. In our family, we wait to start a formal writing program until we've completed phonics, which is the end of 1st grade, so we do WWE 1 beginning in 2nd grade and just continue on from there. I wouldn't get hung up on the idea that your 2nd or 3rd grade level children are struggling with 1st grade work. It is totally normal for them to be starting at this level and to be struggling to adjust their minds to this approach in the beginning.
Also, if you find the selections in WWE1 to be too challenging for your children, then I am guessing that you are using the workbooks which lay out the passages for each week? Another alternative is to just use the WWE manual and passages from the reading you are otherwise doing with your children. If they find some of the classical literature too abstract right now, you can still complete the WWE lessons using readings from science or history. There is no reason not to let your read aloud time do double duty, especially while your children are so young and going through the public school de-programming period. For one of my sons, listening to read alouds of fiction books was torture, but he could listen for hours to non-fiction books about animals or astronomy. So I'd be sure to have in mind the WWE lesson of the week and pause to comment on the pronouns or verbs or whatever the week's lesson emphasized, right in the middle of science. Then the next day, he'd get a copywork sheet of one of the sentences we narrated together (incidentally, in cursive, so writing also does double duty as penmanship). In the beginning, this was a much less painful way to get our writing fundamentals down.
So my suggestion is, don't ditch the curriculum just yet, especially if you are just getting started and if you buy in to the philosophy behind it. But don't be afraid to tweak it to fit your kids and their learning styles and with consideration of the way they've been learning for the last few years. It can take some time for that shift in thinking to occur.
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Congrats!
Personally, I believe Thank God hospitals aren't natural. In nature women often died in child birth. I LOVE modern medicine. Loved that my son was revived at birth by a team because he wouldn't start breathing and is a joy for me today, ten yrs later, a big, healthy boy.
:grouphug: I know from personal experience how scary that can be!
However, my amazing midwife was able to revive my son who was not breathing at birth, even though we were not in a hospital, and he is now a happy thriving five year old.
Midwives are prepared and capable of handling many common childbirth emergencies, and transfer patients as soon as it becomes apparent that they need additional care they cannot provide.
As for me, I thank God that women have the choice to birth in a hospital if they are high risk or feel more comfortable there. And I am glad that (most) women have the choice to birth in a birth center or at home as well, with fewer interventions and the risks those entail.
:grouphug: to the poster above in Kentucky, where midwives cannot legally attend homebirths- a travesty!
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My oldest son was a very precocious four year old, and my second son was a very normal, wiggly four year old. They are 2 1/2 years apart, and my younger son has heard his whole life how smart and advanced his older brother is. We as his parents never tried to play this up, especially in front of him, but other people would react to things my older son would say or do and the younger brother picked up on that.
So, I am guessing your younger son also realizes that his older brother is different than he is and is special. I think it's only normal that he wants to be like his brother, and that would naturally include getting to stay home with mama and do the special homeschooling.
We've planned on homeschooling all of ours all along, but even if we hadn't, I would have been very wary of distinguishing between my two sons by homeschooling one and not the other. You wouldn't want your younger son to feel like he is less special and worthy of your attention and emphasis, just because he is not advanced like his brother. I don't think you are saying you fell this way AT ALL, just pointing out that disparities could send that message to the four year old, unintentionally.
I do think your concerns are valid, and they are much the same as many of us who are learning to school children of various abilities and ages, all at the same time. It's not easy, but it is certainly doable!
My younger son was not at all ready for formal schooling of any form at age four. I introduced some schooling to him at that age, mostly because his older brother was so very ready and anxious to learn, but for the younger brother, it was a complete flop. He knew his letters, but he was not ready to learn to read, or to sit down for more than 30 seconds at a time, or to refrain from being silly, etc. So we did a little "puzzle school" and drawing and some manipulative activities and called it good. At five, we tried to do a little more kindergarten level material, but he still wasn't truly ready. By six, he settled down a bit and we worked on some phonics and math, but the phonics program especially, the one we used with his brother, did not suit him and we ended up finding one that does work better for him.
Now at seven, he reads well, and is flying through his math. We are successfully using our original phonics and handwriting program, in addition to the one that has taught him to read, but completely skipping the pre-K and K level. He's reading above grade level now and is a natural at math. I imagine how things would have gone for him in pre-K or K at public school and shudder. Despite all our best efforts, he still would occasionally refer to himself as stupid, because he would compare himself to his brother. In school, if he was there, but unable and unready to participate fully for the last two years, I feel confident he would have come away feeling stupid and inadequate and unable to succeed. I am not sure he would have had the confidence to do well, even once he finally was developmentally ready. So I am very grateful that I've been able to homeschool him and meet his particular needs just as I can for my older son.
Incidentally, this younger son is also very much a social butterfly. But homeschooling has not hampered that a bit. We socialize frequently with other homeschoolers, he befriends folks in restaurants or stores or anywhere we go, and he feels comfortable interacting with adults and children of all ages. Again, in school, I think his social tendencies would have actually gotten him into more trouble than otherwise. At home, I am quite forgiving with his non-sequitur outbursts and singing while doing math. :)
So all that to say, it may not be what you had planned, but it can work out for the best for your son, if you're willing to give it a go. I don't think it's helpful to say it wouldn't be a lot of extra work and effort of your part, because it will be. But the rewards are worth it, in my opinion.
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We're in the Ft Worth area and groceries would be 21% more in Seattle. Housing would be 64% more. Yikes!
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We are Christians, so I am not opposed *at all* to Biblical stories as a component of ancient history.
One of the first programs I bought was Mystery of History, but I was not pleased at all with the overwhelming emphasis on the history of the Jews in comparison to the rest of the ancient cultures. I don't own it anymore, but I recall particularly that the Egyptian, Greek and Roman cultures were covered very superficially while much more obscure Bible stories were included. For example, the story of Nehemiah was one week and so was Alexander the Great. I like the story of Nehemian, but I don't think in the overall scheme of history he had as much impact on the world as Alexander the Great. Plus, we do our own Bible story studies with our kids, so I was not relying on our history curriculum to do that job.
For me, I preferred our study of ancient history to incorporate the Bible stories we know, and to help my children understand that these events were contemporaneous with other ancient historical events and cultures. For our family, SOTW did a better job of this. We like lots of hands on activities, so we used the SOTW AG, but we also used History Odyssey, which uses SOTW as a spine but also incorporates other living books and activities.
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I want to be sort of anti-regulation, but I just cannot wrap my mind around this.
I've read LOTS of threads here and elsewhere discussing how to calculate the required number of hours or days for state requirements. How park days and working in the garage with dad and working in the garden and helping mom with laundry all can "count" in various ways. How families make life educational throughout the day, so they "easily" meet the hours requirements. I really don't have a problem with this, although it could certainly be abused, but it comes down to the busywork of logging hours and activities throughout a school year to prove a certain number of learning hours. Of course, public schools do the same thing, sometimes scheduling half days that just meet the minimum number of school hours to "count" as a full day instead of taking the full day off. As a student, I remember vividly spending these days and many others watching movies and playing games and getting nothing productive done.
So, not having a requirement to prove a certain number of school hours or days simply relieves those of us here in Texas and other similarly unregulated states from the busywork of counting up activities to try to mimic the public school education. It has no real bearing on what kind of education is or is not happening in the home. I've never kept track of the number of school days we've completed, but I honestly believe it would be far fewer than the 180. However, we school year round and continue each curriculum until it is completed, and don't pay a lot of attention to grade level or the arbitrary end or beginning of school years. For our own knowledge, we had our oldest son take the Texas public school assessment test for the grade level he recently completed and he aced it. I knew he was fine and didn't consider it necessary, but it gave my husband peace of mind. We'll probably do the tests informally every few years or so (they are posted online and available for free) just to confirm that we don't have any gaps in the minimum state standards, but we won't be teaching to the tests and this will be the extent of any attempt on our part to conform to public schools in our state.
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I try not to stand right in front of the microwave when it is running. If I was at someone else's house and it looked like an older model, I might step out. *shrug* It may not be an issue, but it's an easy enough thing to avoid.
I also try not to drink from plastic that is not BPA-free. Such crazies we are! :lol:
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Like several others in this thread, we do not celebrate Easter as a religious holiday because we believe that God was very clear how he wanted Christians to remember the death and resurrection of Christ- on the first day of the week with the Lord's Supper.
We do enjoy some Easter secular traditions, but we surround those with discussions of Who created the seasons and set in motion the renewal of life each spring. We don't shy away from the pagan or polytheistic origins of these traditions, because we find it important educationally for our children to understand just how much of our own culture and traditions are rooted in the beliefs and culture of the past. So they know about Eostre and that that is why we call this holiday Easter today, and how the pagan holiday was merged with the Christian one. For our family, enjoying fun little traditions like coloring or hunting eggs doesn't equate with worshiping an ancient fertility goddess any more than referring to the planets as Mars and Jupiter equates to worshiping those gods. Instead the study of other cultures and religious beliefs during history gives us context for discussions of what we do believe and why. We find that most holidays, both the traditionally religious and the patriotic ones give us similar opportunities. On the other hand, one could certainly teach their children these same messages without using holidays as a pretext, so we do respect the convictions of those who choose to avoid the holidays altogether.
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My little ones always have asked to do school too, long before they are really ready to sit down and do workbookish or formal school stuff. We use workboxes for my older boys, so what has worked well for me for my toddlers is getting a smaller rubbermaid set of three drawers and then I fill the drawers each day with age appropriate activities (usually stuff we'd be doing anyway). So maybe a puzzle in one drawer and a worksheet with a letter and picture on it with crayons in the next drawer and a few books to read with mama in the last drawer. On a given day he may choose some or all the drawers or none at all, but they are available if he is interested. Other items I fill the drawers with are playdough, lincoln logs or mega blocks, electronic abc toys, Zingo, finger paints, art supplies, simple file folder games, etc.
For me, I like to encourage the love of "school" early on, but there's no reason to rush into anything formal just to meet that interest. Years ago with my second son, before we were using workboxes, he did "puzzle school" most days while I worked with his brother and was happy as could be.
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I let my kids watch it because they love dinosaurs and they love trains. They also know we don't believe the earth is millions of years old, so they sort of mock the show (or any dino resources) anytime it references that.
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Lullaby (Goodnight my Angel) by Billy Joel
A friend played this at the funeral for her daughter who lost her battle with cancer and I weep every time I hear it or even think of it.
Mad World- the Gary Jules version
Misguided Angel by Cowboy Junkies
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My parents lived on one income. My maternal grandparents did also, but my paternal grandmother worked off and on.
The family dynamic was so much different during the great depression era, so my great grandparents all worked in some fashion and as soon as the kids were old enough, they did too. Most of my grandparents were working themselves, several as crop pickers, by the time they were teens. My grandfather and his siblings all left home and made their way to CA to find work for themselves by the time they were 15 or 16. I think this level of poverty and focus on daily survival inspired my grandfather and others of his generation to want to be the sole provider for his family during the 50's.
I do think that the man as primary provider and woman as caretaker of the home and children was the prevalent dynamic in the past. But I do believe most of these women worked hard and often took in work or found ways to contribute to the family income from home, out of sheer necessity.
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My oldest wants to sleep in his jeans, which kills me because that can't be comfortable. Usually if he's wearing shorts and a tee, I don't worry about it, but every time he has jeans on he argues how comfortable he is already. :lol:
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I certainly did, but people seemed surprised. One woman in restaurant said "I can't believe you're out" after learning my due date was yesterday. "Well I'm sure not going to COOK!" was my response. :D
Amen to that!
With my first, I worked right up until he was born. I commuted on a train into the city and for the last month or so, the conductor would ask me each morning if I was going to have the baby on his train. I'd laugh and tell him "not today" but by the last week I'd answer "hope not!" and he'd just sigh and shake his head. The train would take me to a main terminal and then I'd switch to the inner city transit for several more miles to get to work. You'd be amazed at how often on the transit people would NOT give up their seats for the huge pregnant lady! They'd just sit there and stare as I held the strap and swayed. :lol:
We also went to a Rangers baseball game within a week or so of my due date and people gave me a very wide berth as we walked in the stadium, as if they thought I'd break my water on their shoes!
With my second I was on bed rest from 32-37 weeks and then he didn't end up being born until 4 days before his due date. :glare: SO I spent those last several weeks doing as many errands as possible thinking the baby was coming any day. By the end I was determined to walk that baby out!
With the next few babies, I was a SAHM with toddlers, so of course I worked right up until delivery. I have long early labors, so while in labor with my fourth, I sent my husband on to work and went about my business with the kids. I called him to come home around 3pm and the baby was born at 8:30. Confinement sounds nice in theory I guess, but you'd definitely have to have a group of maids and nannies to tend to the house and children!
s/o trolls. What do you think is one of your most troll worthy stories?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
My husband has a similar story of saving his sister from being kidnapped. He was playing in the front yard and was supposed to be watching his sister who was a toddler. He went in the house for a minute to get something and when he came back out, his sister was gone. He ran to the fence, with the gate still shut, and saw someone walking down the sidewalk, several houses down by this point, hand in hand with his baby sister. He ran after them and yelled "Hey! That's my sister!" and the potential abductor froze and let him pick her up. The man told my husband that he'd found her wandering in the street and was looking for her family, but then he turned and ran to his car in the direction he'd been heading and sped away. My husband was just a kid himself and was worried he'd be in trouble for leaving his sister in the front yard alone, so he didn't tell his parents until several days later.