Ananda
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Posts posted by Ananda
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I am another allergy shot failure. I had the huge swelling on my arm every time, so they never got me anywhere near a maintenance dose. If I remember correctly I had shots 3x each week several months & then weekly for over a year. I really wish it had worked. . .
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We have a Pley subscription. In the first shipment they send you a sturdy cardboard box with attached lid in which to store the Lego sets. Subsequent sets come in a zippered mesh bag inside of a plastic mailer. We have not had trouble keeping the Pley set separate from our Lego collection.
We are generally happy with the service, but it might not be the right season of life for us. We have a rather irresponsible 5 year old & a toddler. To play with our set the toddler either needs to be sleeping while I play with/supervise the five year old or both parents need to be home so that that both kids can be separately engaged. We store the Pley set up high when not in use. We have had to buy a set because it got scattered, so we are a little paranoid.
They also have Duplo sets, so our toddler occasionally gets to play too. No problems returning the set, a new one always comes quickly.
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No. Pointe shoes are symmetrical. I was always taught to switch mine back and forth between my feet so that they would wear evenly. Ballet slippers don't have a left & right either btw.
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I had to get bifocals as a teenager. Like others I had trouble with stairs for a few days. Flat ground initially appeared slanted. I adjusted quickly.
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Um, no. . .
My husband and I were poor college students when we got engaged/married.
I am anti-diamond anyway.
We each have a simple white gold engagement/wedding ring. My husband still wears his. When I got pregnant, my ring became too small. I bought a basic ring for $7 at target and wear that now. For awhile I wore the "real" ring on a chain around my neck, but that got annoying and when I still couldn't wear the ring post-pregnancy I stopped. Now it is . . . somewhere.
Ananda
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I think part of it is age. A lot of you seem to be talking about older people when talking about grandparents. One person mentioned 80! My parents & in-laws are all 60-ish. I am sure that helps their ability to interact with my little ones. By the time they start to feel their age, my children will be in their teens and be able to have adult conversations & play adult board games. My grandparents are in their 80s and 90s (or dead). They don't interact as much, because their minds & bodies have slowed down enough to find little children too much. In my world great-grandparents are elderly, grandparents are middle aged.
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Whooping cough went around my sons preschool of vaccinated kids. My son got it, but because he was vaccinated it was extremely mild--barely a cold. The worst part was our entire family was quarantined for five days while we all had a course of antibiotics. I will say that I think my son has gotten every cold since, including several colds no one else in the family has gotten.
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I'm another one that had to vote funny on the last question because I have boys. They are 2 & 5, so I don't think many people would have pierced their ears even if they were girls. I used to wear earring for special occasions, or sometimes simple studs that I would leave in for months at at a time. I don't wear earrings at all any more.
I am curious about people who said they "let the holes close up". I didn't know that was possible. I haven't worn earrings in 5+ years and they still slip right in the holes (I checked). How long does it take for them to close up? I suppose it is possible I have worn earrings a few times in the last few years and have forgotten. . .
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I have no experience with this product, but it seems like it would work for your needs. http://www.hometrainingtools.com/safety-gloves-size-6-6-1-2-child/p/CE-SGLOVES/
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I second the Genie bra. The whole bra is soft and stretchy, if that helps with your sizing concern. I find them perfect for night. I also like that I can just throw them in the washer & dryer with all my other laundry.
Ananda
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I live in Nebraska, so I have been forced to read Willa Cather from a young age. She does write well and My Antonia is definitely one of her best. I have one caveat. She spend a considerable amount of time on evocative descriptions for prairies and Nebraska's wonky weather. That is probably wonderful if you are from somewhere else and need to have a world created for you in your imagination. However, I live in that world every day, so half the book (of all her books) could have been deleted and replaced by the word "Nebraska." Years of being told I must read yet another Cather or even the same Cather yet again have destroyed her work for me.
However, I suggest you read My Antonia because you may love it as many others have. Even if it ends up not to be your thing, it will have been an edifying experience.
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I had pretty fixed ideas about gender being cultural until I gave birth to a daughter and adopted a son. My dd was 2 when my ds, who was also 2, joined our family. My son was raised in two different orphanages before he came to us. One was the stereotypical "huge room full of rows of cribs," where he sat, day in and day out, occasionally getting his diaper changed or fed a bottle. He was not given the opportunity to play or develop a culturally dictated gender identity. In the second orphanage, which was better, he was routinely dressed in girl clothes, as the nannies simply pulled a shirt and pants off the shelf and put them on the kids. The first day we spent with our son, he was wearing ruffled Minnie Mouse pants and a pink t-shirt. All kids played with the same toys. He was in a toddler room, and all the kids were treated the same way. They had a few gender non-specific toys, a swingset, and a merry-go-round. There was nothing specifically gendered about his life.
When he came to us, his favorite activity was crashing cars together. He'd never had cars in the orphanage, but somehow he knew them and loved them from moment one. My dd, who has grown up to be a hockey-playing tomboy scientist, was never interested in cars. I noticed right away that there were differences in my son and my daughter. My son is a boy--every part of his body and brain indicate boy. The contrast to even my very-tomboy daughter is stark. Although my dd is not at all stereotypically girly, there is nothing about her that is traditionally masculine. Although her choice of clothing, interests, and activities is of the traditionally more masculine type, there is nothing boyish about her.
I believe that my son is a boy because his brain tells him he is and my daughter is a girl because her brain tells her she is. It's honestly not at all hard for me to see a difference between physiological sex and mental gender; it seems logical to me that they are different and can have different expressions. I see it as biologically and brain-chemistry based, and it seems completely reasonable to me that they processes that shaped the body in utero and the processes that shape the brain's understanding of who it is are separate, to some degree, and may not align in the way that we consider to be traditional or "normal."
This is very interesting to me. I have two sons 2 & 5, both very boyish. They like cars and rough housing. I was surprised how much boyishness they seemed to come with. I don't have any tom-boy girls to compare. I always assumed they would be very similar, especially as preschoolers. There is nothing stopping girls from playing with cars, if they were so inclined.
That which is so clear to you, the differences among social norms, gender and sex, isn't at all to me. You say its obvious, but it isn't. It was helpful to learn that I am not alone in my confusion. People who are close to those who are transgendered tell me they don't quite get it either. It is reassuring. I agree with the pp that perhaps it is something you have to take on faith. Although I would say faith, not in psychologists, but in the real live transgendered people. I believe that they have to transition to lead fulfilled lives, because that is what they say.
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I am a feminist and I agree with you that there's a lot of cultural stuff at play with gender. Certainly we are at a time and place where men and women are closer than ever before to just being allowed to live their lives without regards to gender based absolutes.
I agree with a lot of what you wrote and it sounds very similar to what I worked though as a young adult taking care of a trans teenage brother.
I am somewhat non-conforming in my gender. I always have been. But I still feel like a woman. Why? I dunno. Same reason I feel I am attracted to men. I just am. It's an inviolate part of who I am. I've always felt this way.
My brother however wasn't happy as a non-gender conforming girl/young woman. It wasn't about genitalia or not being discriminated against as a woman, but how people react to him and relate to him and how he relates to them. He felt like a gay man and not a butch or tomboyish woman. Why? He just did/does. He's always felt that way.
His adult occupation is a more traditionally female one- he's a SAHP and PTA president/volunteer.
I don't know what he gets from it besides just being who he wants to be. And if that is what resolved the dysphoria and most of the depression and allows him to live a happy healthy life, I say please let's not make it legally or socially difficult for him and others like him to do so.
This is very helpful to me. It is because my sex & gender align that I struggle to determine where one ends the the other starts. This makes sense. I am willing to accept that I can't understand it, because I haven't lived it. I don't conform to gender norms either, so I don't understand why that Isn't "good enough". But clearly for your brother and many others it wasn't good enough. I certainly want everyone to lead happy and fulfilled lives.
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It's not about gender roles and stereotypes. It's about wanting to feel like their body reflects who they are and feeling at home in their body.
If you had a male body and the same brain you have now, would you feel male or female? You don't have to constantly look at your body to remind you that you are a woman. Your brain tells you that you are.
For example, I read about a young transgender boy who was physiologically female who would always pee standing up, because that is what he saw other people like him (that is, other males) doing. He emulated those he identified with, starting at potty training in toddlerhood.
It wasn't that he "wanted" something that he couldn't get as a girl. It was that he knew he was male.
I have asked myself what I would feel if I woke up one morning with a male body. I'm not particularly attached to being female. I think its a non-issue except that I am the person in this family who gets pregnant & nurses the babies. Perhaps, I would feel differently if I had a man's body though. This idea of gender & sex not being synonymous is very new for me. For me being female is a biological fact like my brown hair or my inferior eye sight. I don't think about it much unless I am being stereotyped or buying female products or something like that. I understand that for some people they feel a lot of pride over being female. I am happy to just be me.
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I wanted to thank you guys, because this conversation has helped my come a long way in understanding the perspective & thought processes of transgendered people, their loved ones and their allies. I really empathize with the pain and frustration being felt when they come up against a larger society that is so hostile and inhumane. I still don't understand what exactly is the essence of gender dysphoria.
Lets suppose I am a biological male Robin, who experiences gender dysphoria. What is it about being female that Robin wants to experience that he can't experience as a male? And what is it about being male that Robin doesn't want to experience?
From my perspective I see two differences between the sexes: societal & biological. Society seems to be quickly moving away from gender differences. Fashion is becoming more unisex, professions & leisure activities are open to both genders, men are becoming more comfortable being sensitive & nurturing, women are becoming more comfortable with being competitive & assertive. It doesn't seem that these societal differences are what is troubling transgendered persons. A lot of people are choosing not to fulfill the gender stereotype, while still being very happy as their gender. Transgender is clearly something else. In the theoretical world where males & females could engage in society without prejudice, would Robin still be unhappy as a male?
Does it boil down to the biological differences between the sexes: chromosomes, the physical body, the reproductive system and secondary sex characteristics? As science currently stands, chromosomes can't be changed; a MtF transgendered woman can't become pregnant & give birth, a FtM transgendered man will never produce sperm. (I do understand they can become parents.) This leaves the differences between men's & woman's bodies after puberty. Is it that the MtF transgendered person wants a slight, curvaceous physique, soft voice and a lack of body hair? If it were that, then why do prepubescent children, whose bodies are indistinguishable between the sexes apart from their genitals, experience gender dysphoria? That leaves the genitals. . . surely it is more that a woman wanting a penis. . . .
What is this deep, integral essence in the transgendered person that can't be expressed in their biological sex?
I genuinely mean no offense. I feel like I am on the cusp of an epiphany and just need one morsel of knowledge before I understand. I hope my question post is clear enough --- my thinking is muddled.
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I have a son named Sacha, but I was prepared for people to 1) confuse him for a girl (it's generally a boy's name outside the U.S.) or 2) ask if his name is Alexander. Both happen regularly. I don't mind. I love his name and so does he.
Small World! My youngest, who is two is also named Sasha. I considered naming him Alexander, but didn't want there to be a chance of someone calling him Alex. I would say name her what you want her to be called.
On the subject of AbbyJane, I am less supportive. My last name is a similar composite name and it causes no end of head-aches. I was taught my last name was LastName with thirteen letters, two capital letters & no space. It is constantly getting mangled. On my birth certificate it is spelled Last Name with a space. I have used a space since high school. It doesn't help. It still gets mangled. Most things are alphabetized by last name & I don't know if I should be under Last or Name. Perhaps a compound first name would cause fewer problems. But again having to get drivers licenses & passports reissued would happen in either case.
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I graduated 2004, in NE. My high school required 2 semesters of PE (they gave lots of choice) & 1 semester of Health. You could also take 3 semesters of JROTC. I took the JROTC even though I am not that type. It makes no sense because the only physical element of JROTC was marching 1x/week; for health we each did a report on a drug and a report on an STD and read the reports in class. I am ever grateful to have gotten out of it.
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I have, in fact, seen goldfish crackers used for communion. It was at a baby dedication for a family member, so I was in the very front row reserved section. I'm non-Christian so I don't take communion out of respect. The pastor gave the typical protestant "every one is encouraged to take communion" speech. Then my husband & I immediately refuse communion. It felt awkward.
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Our whole family has spent every night together with the exception of the few days when my second son was born. I was very unhappy having to leave my older son with my parents, but I couldn't find an alternate solution. Futhermore, I have only been away from my boys for a few hours at a time say to do shopping or to see a movie. I always leave them with my husband. Recently my 4yo started 2 mornings per week at a preschool. Tomorrow is his second day. He had fun the first day, but I am a wreck. I don't know how I am supposed to be a parent when I am not with my children. I don't know what my role is. Anyway, a vacation away from my children is NOT happening. My husband can't convince me it is appropriate to leave them for half an hour with grandparents so we can take a walk around the block.
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Well, we live in our starter home. It is a hundred years old with lots of "upgrades" by previous owners. I dislike a lot of things. We have been discussing if long-term we would like to remodel it; or if we should move to a different house.
Bathroom:
-The shower is made by running a small pipe from the tub faucet up; this isn't really attached to the wall.
-The tile around the tub only goes up a few feet, so we have to have shower curtains on all four sides. It feels like showering in a wet oxygen tent.
-The tub is vertical in back so you can't lay down comfortably.
-The toilet is way too close to the side wall. We can't use even the most minimalist over toilet shelf, also it is difficult to clean around.
-There are no towel racks of any kind.
Kitchen:
-The room is very big, but the floor plan is silly so you can't fit a table anywhere.
-We have tons of upper cabinets, but the shelves are too close together. You can't put bottles of olive oil or our wine glasses on a shelf.
-Our fridge leeks water down from the freezer into the fridge. We tapped plastic bags in to direct in down the back behind the shelves, so our food don't usually get flooded. But I have to wipe out the bottom under the produce drawers or it leeks all over the floor. In summer this is a daily chore and it is still leeks on the floor.
-Also I can't figure out how to set our fridge temps so that the freezer freezes, but the fridge doesn't freeze.
-We have an automatic ice maker in our freezer, but no water line to run it.
-The heat & air-conditioning don't really extend to the kitchen.
Playroom:
-It has really weird glass doors. I would like normal opaque doors.
-The closet is nearly impossible to use.
Living Room:
-We have ugly old carpet, over beautiful hardwood floors. Why?
Small Upstairs Bedroom:
-Also has ugly carpet, presumably also over hardwood floors.
-The air conditioning & heat don't work up here so we have to use a space heater & window air conditioner.
-The closet is huge for such a tiny room. A larger room with a smaller closet would make more sense.
Outdoors:
-We have tons of baby trees around the perimeter of the back yard.
-Our outdoor spigots don't work.
-There is no where good to put a garden.
-Our large trees keep dying. We have a nice neat row: stump, old tree, old tree, stump. We also have a stump right in the middle of our back yard surrounded by a pretty stone circle. It looks like something out of the Lorax.
Generally speaking I like our garage, basement, dinning room & my bedroom.
We also have a large upstairs room that we haven't had cause to use. I don't know my opinion on that room. I assume it will need heat & a/c supplementation but maybe not.
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I graduated in 2004. We had 9 valedictorians. The criteria for becoming valedictorian was that you had to take every honors & AP course and you had to get straight As. There were 40 some students who took every honors and AP course and got a single B. I don't know what they could have done to weed the pack, possibly not allow A- to count as an A like in university. Although I don't know how much difference even that would make. In my experience, the top tier of students will just rise to the bar set. We did what it took to get an A in our more difficult AP classes, but floated through classes like government & health.
As far as the speech. The valedictorians collectively gave one 15 minute speech.
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I have three.
1. Anything ob/gyn related. When I was pregnant with my two boys, I felt like I was walking around with a scarlet "slut" written on my forehead. I have never had a pelvic exam. I pretend that area of my body doesn't exist.
2. Psychatrists. I immediately think they are going to lock me up, drug me & lobotomize me.
3. Using the telephone. I used to only use the phone to chit-chat with my family or husband or for business. Then I had my husband take over business calls, and stopped chit-chatting with my family. So for the last several years I would call my husband freely and my mother for short no-nonsense calls. I might give up even that soon. The phone ringing when I am not expecting a call terrifies me. If I am expecting a call, I won't sleep the night before and I pace until it happens.
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You have my deepest condolences. I'm sorry too. You & your daughter will be in my thoughts.
Osgood-Schlatter Disease--Has anyone dealt with this?
in The Chat Board
Posted
I hope I can be of help. My brother had it, and was also a serious soccer player. I know he needed physical therapy & was taking prescription muscle relaxants routinely. His activity was restricted for a few brief periods when it was really bad. He had various braces. I wouldn't take the wait and see approach with an athlete, they push through the pain and can get serious injuries. I don't know what was done to diagnose it. I'm just the sister so I'm hardly an expert.