trailofsparks
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Posts posted by trailofsparks
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If I remember right, the only option you mentioned who said they'd want your children was the grandparents. But, I would not place my kids w/aging grandparents.
I would choose Sister N if she and her dh could enjoy parenting my dc. If I were the potential guardian, I would turn the world upside down to have my sibling's dc. I would welcome the opportunity to embrace them, broadening our lives, hearts, home. What a distinct privilege it would be.
Personally, we have friends with a very large family AND friends who have a smaller family - both have offered to take our dc in the event of our death. I would choose the larger family, b/c their parenting style is more simiar to ours. Btw, dh and I each have one sibling, neither are good candidates for various reasons. Grandparents (my side) travel a lot and have said they wouldn't want to raise them. Gps on dh's side are not an option.
So, we would choose friends - friends who have offered and we know have big enough hearts (the whole family) to embrace our dc and share the love!!!
God bless you. . . . as you make your decision!
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Your post made me sad. I'm so sorry for both you and your son. We had something similar although not a totally long term, invested relationship like you're describing.
My boys still talk about their friends. Breaks my heart.
Here's why I'd be honest with your son. . . he has a gut feeling and I have a strong belief in teaching kids to trust/honor their gut feelings. I think it can serve them well throughout life. If you lie to him, he automatically thinks, "huh. I could have sworn something deeper was happening. Guess I was wrong."
So I'd say something along the lines of. . . "I bet you're aware that something's happened. Let's talk."
Then I'd give him a cleaned up version and say, "I'm very sad about this. How are you feeling?" I might even show him a bunch of "faces" with different feelings and ask him to pick the one that he feels like.
Again, I'm so sorry. To give up a friendship because one homeschools. How sad.
Alley
Exactly.
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I love it! I so wish my ds had a brother to wrestle, but he has to wait until he gets around his buddies. Somehow, they always fit it into their play time, lol. Reading Tom Sawyer is what helped me over this hump :D
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It's been a while since I rented, but at the time in the state where I lived, if a tenant had rented for a certain amount of time before moving out, the owner had to re-paint and couldn't charge the renters. It was more for sanitary reasons. If you lived there a while, this might be something to check into in case they try to stiff you w/painting fees.
Is there any way you can look into the history of these 2 companies? If they're scammers, they've got a history of it.
Sorry you're going through this. I hope it's resolved quickly and painlessly for you.
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I didn't vote in the poll, but whether this was offensive to her or to others, Idk. Just once, I'd like to see a situation like this not be blown out of proportion. Can't she just say she's offended, ask Kraft to take it off and be done with it? This kind of thing makes me tired:bored:
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Did you take out any plants in order to plant the ones there now? If so, you need to leave them. In fact, I agree with a couple other pp that to leave them would be gracious on your part.
If there are one or two very special plants, just take them and do your best to make the area still look good. Ie Could you then transplant a couple plants from another area so there are no bare spots?
In the end, I wouldn't leave it worse looking than when I arrived; I'd leave it better looking, whatever it takes.
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Wow! Great to know, since I also have a Brother printer. Yay! Happy for you too :D
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I was looking at this planner the other day. I couldn't tell if it is a good one to use for 3+ children?
I liked the look of the planner, as you all do, but kind of crossed it off my list because of the subject headings being written in. I don't like that either. . . but now that I see you are just crossing out and writing your own in, it makes me think it may be worth it :D
So, how easy is it to use for 3+ students?
TIA!
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If it's sinus, have you ever used a Neti Pot?
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I thought we had a nice sleepover last night. Yes, they stayed up too late and got up too early, but everything went well.
Then, as the child was packing up and leaving this a.m., one of my boys came running in saying, "I found this attached to Maddie's backpack."
It was a small "Simon" game that my mom had given the kids. So it matters to them.
Part of me thinks this is kid stuff. Another part of me realizes that she's moving and probably hurting inside at the loss. But still. . .
Dh and I spend time w/ this child and are really good to her.
We've noticed this sort of thing a couple times in the past and politely dealt w/ it and moved on hoping it wouldn't happen again.
So I say something to her mom?? Quite honestly, they're moving and I don't really want the conflict. Although I think her mom will be fine, but irate at the kid.
Alley
I would ask Maddie if it was hers. . . and if she appeared to be lying, I would say, "Would your mom also say that you have one of these?" Then go from there. At that point, she would probably come clean (assuming she was lying in the first place). I would then briefly explain the hurt felt by your family b/c of her choice, how much you like her, going to miss her, and, for Maddie's sake, I would tell her mom about this conversation. Kids do that kind of thing - doesn't mean their bad, just means the teachers in their life can take the opportunity to guide them.
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Attempting to break into friendships by facing them in a group situation can be difficult no matter what the age is. I still find it hard sometimes. ;)
A nice intermediate step would be to foster some one-on-one friendships. As much as homeschoolers as a group seem to associate the idea of "socializing" kids as a negative, in my opinion it's sometimes necessary to teach kids how to get by in groups if they haven't had much experience with group dynamics.
Start small, with one friend, then move that firm friendship to the group. :001_smile:
Oh, yes! Very good idea.
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It almost never does. Never. I figured it would work out in time. Sigh.
The one time it really started an interaction was with the girl who then rejected her after her other friend joined them in play. :(
With regards to proximity, where are you when she is trying to interact with other kids? Can you give us some examples of her efforts? There have been times when I have "helped" one of my dc's efforts along. Have you tried this at all?
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Can you bring up times in her past when her friendliness resulted in reciprocation?
My dd7 (at the time), in the course of conversation, said she was shy. Huh?? I looked at her and said, "You are not shy. When you were younger, you would walk up to other kids at the park and begin playing", etc. Soon after that conversation, she just resumed her natural behaviors.
I think things can happen, like in your dd's case, where they will allow that situation to redefine them. They need us to gently guide them back to who they are, if that makes sense.
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I want to bump this in case anyone missed it. I can't wait to share this with friends and family. I feel like it's everything I would want to say, and I could leave it at that.
CJ you've made life a little better for me. :grouphug: thank you
Dear Helena,
I am so thankful this is helpful for you. It was helpful for me, a few years back, when my dearest friend who was diagnosed (after misdiagnosis for 18 yrs!) with Lyme disease. She gave this story to me, to help me understand her . . . and I was so grateful to have that understanding. I'm glad you feel understood and I hope your loved ones are helped as well. God bless you and them.
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Trader Joe's - Fennel (b/c it's $1.99 per tube!) It didn't take them long to get used to the flavor. We started 2-3 yrs ago.
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Even though I'm revamping just about every subject area for ds12, I'll come in under $500 for next year. For my youngest 2, I have all the curricula they need. So, this is strictly for ds, going into 7th grade.
The curriculum that is most pricey that we'll be using next year is VideoText Algebra. But I bought that used at a curriculum sale 2 yrs ago - for less than half price. In fact, I do this often. I plan way ahead and rarely change my mind. This year is an exception ;) but I'm not worried because I have sold a lot of my curriculum on this forum and at a book sale. I'm using that money to purchase the new - most of which I can't find used.
Hint: if you buy used and keep it in good condition, you can sell it for close to the price you paid. I buy at least half of what I need used each year. Often, if I had started my search sooner or been more patient, I could buy more used items. I typically sell even the stuff I buy new 50-6-% off retail price - b/c I don't like to pay more than that for used.
HTH.
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Helena,
Have you ever read this, The Spoon Theory? About people who don't "look" sick? It is a story written by a woman with Lupus. She wrote it to help others understand her condition. Maybe you could use it for the people in your life, who you wish could understand some things about you.
I am glad you shared. While reading your post, I thought you sure did pour out your heart and thoughts very clearly. I could imagine feeling the way you described: angry, frustrated, hurting. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through w/Lupus. Saying some prayers for you tonight. Peace be with you.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
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Both my dh and I say NO. I talked to someone once, an acquaintance, who described his and his wife's experiences since they moved into their home: lights turning on or off, things moving, etc. Small things, not violent. He said it didn't bother them at all :001_huh: but it bothered me just hearing about it! I'm not sure about a house blessing, as some call it, whether it would bring peace back to the home or not.
Dh and I made an offer on a home and shortly after, I was awakened 2 nights in a row with urgent thoughts that we should not buy this house. On the 3rd day, I made a phone call to the PD of that city and asked about the house. The officer told me he would not live there if he had small children. We got out of the purchase, luckily. Oh, but I wanted that house!! It was a little hard to let it go, but so glad we did. Different circumstances, I know. Good luck w/your decision.
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I've been wanting a pedicure lately - so I vote that for you! Btw, it's wonderful that you are stepping out and doing something fun for yourself since you never do! That's hard to do - go for it!
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We don't look at it so much from a classical or well-rounded point of view as from an able to open doors point of view. Having the ability to play the piano (and other instruments) will open doors in DS's future that might otherwise be closed.
This is actually my definition of a well-rounded person. One who is able to converse or interact, even a little, in just about any area, thus opening doors, connecting with others.
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As to whether it should be mandatory or not, that's your call. In our experience, if you try to make it interesting, it's not so much a question of making it mandatory, but there may be some rough spots. In my experience, with any activity, if you make it something that when they go there, they get to see their friends, it will be much more interesting than an activity where you have to take them away from their friends to go to.
This is something that is really resonating with me. Thanks for your post!
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For us it's about learning to work hard at something that continually ramps up. A great lesson for kids that have an easy time at academics.
Gosh, this is a great point. Well said..."that continually ramps up". Thx.
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I don't consider it mandatory. If I had a child that was uninterested or upset with the idea, I wouldn't force them.
However, I think, IMO, it's best to try to expose kids to a variety of things when they're young as far as music, sports, and art are concerned. Give them a chance to try things. Encourage them in whatever interests they may have or find things you think they might enjoy. You can usually tell after awhile if it's something that they will excel in or continue to show a strong interest in pursuing.
Both of my kids took music lessons and continued with them for many years. Dd is still taking piano and will continue to do so through high school. Ds took drum lessons for many years and really enjoyed it. It was/is quite expensive at times, but well worth it. Neither was much into sports, so it worked out to spend money on music lessons as opposed to other things.
I started out with what I would call low end lessons. Ds took a group band lesson his first year that was very inexpensive. After seeing he had an interest, we switched over to a teacher at a local music store. He spent a few years there. After that we switched to a teacher that was more expensive but came highly recommended and could help him with more advanced work.
Same thing with dd. She spent a year taking inexpensive group lessons. From there we moved to an individual lesson. After a few years and knowing that she wanted to pursue more indepth instruction, we found a wonderful teacher that could help her develop her skills.
My only concern with starting out in group lessons or "low end" as you say, is the formation of bad habits. Did you find this to be the case at all? Or maybe if they did form any bad habits, were they remedied? Hmmm, someone on this thread mentioned having their kids do music lessons to help them get over perfectionism, LOL Maybe I have some I need to get over. Wow, has this thread been eye-opening for me!
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He was good when he played but I hope he will have interest later on by us not pushing him now. His teacher felt the same way...he was good and if he wants to do it later it's best not to push now. Ds cried a few weeks after quitting b/c he was afraid he'd lose his talent. And he is. But it was his choice.
Hmmm, thanks for sharing this. This is what I've seen in my son - reflecting on whether he's made the right choice. He also knows he's losing skill. This is thought provoking.... Glad you shared.
Baby: pacifier or thumb?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Thumbs - kids know best! My first 2 chose their thumbs. My 3rd didn't get a choice. They all stopped thumb sucking at a socially acceptable age, sometime before 3 yrs.
Nursing probably has a lot to do with it - but all mine also chose to stop nursing by 14 mos.