trailofsparks
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Posts posted by trailofsparks
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VideoText Algebra is very strong conceptually. I am going through this w/my dc.
I would encourage you, as OhElizabeth did, to remediate your dd if need be. It can be done quickly when children are older. Laying a solid foundation in math is essential for continued learning.
When you say you had to walk your dd through all her math, a question I would ask myself is: did I do the work for her AT ALL? If you did, or if she depended on you to arrive at answers, definitely remediate.
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I found some really great oil (non-toxic) in the saddle section of a store. It's called LEATHER NEW Deep Conditioner/Restorer. It really does clean and restore!
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Prayed for him :grouphug:
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Do you have any relief with exercise? I wonder if it could be as simple as lactic acid build up.
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Voted for Oscar! Love his life story. He's ahead by 21 votes currently - Go Oscar!
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Yes, your friend is handling it very well. But she is not his parent. You and your dh are. You need to step up to the plate, get him home by whatever means, and deal with the problem. Your son needs to know that you take this seriously. He needs the help he can get at home through counseling. And he needs to know that you can't do what he did and continue to enjoy a nice vacation.
:iagree:because if you don't, you are helping him to see and use loopholes in life. If he isn't forced into change by his parents via as natural of consequences as possible, you are right - he will learn some much harder lessons, like prison and everything that comes with that. If one gets away with small scale crimes, they will naturally believe they can get away with larger scale. It is human nature. You will find his future, even if his course doesn't change, much easier on yourselves if you send him the message NOW. Another pp said send him home by bus - I agree, unless it would give him too much leeway and unsupervised time. In that case, he needs an escort: a parent. Many :grouphug:. I've lived through this with a loved one who went to prison and endured horrific unspeakables there. When I looked back on the years leading up to prison life, I could see where she found every loophole in life and took it. . . until she couldn't any longer. Thankfully something finally cured her, but ohhhh the price she and we all paid. Again, :grouphug:
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Hi-ho! For any of you who are familiar with the first ed of WTM, are the differences striking or would I be able to follow along all right? (I had heard that only their recommendations for curricula had really changed in the 2nd ed.)
I'd love to join in, but don't have the new edition. Thx.
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Since I never knew another girl with my first name, I didn't like it as a kid. I wanted to have the name Lisa, which was very popular and girly - though I was a tomboy. I think it was b/c I had a friend named Lisa who was everything I was not: pretty, doted on by her mom and dad, spoiled w/LOTS (including a white bdrm set and pink canopy!) LOL
Nowadays, I don't think about my name. I am glad that dh and I named our kids for reasons other than "we liked the sounds in that name", as my parents did. I love to hear WHY parents chose the names they did for their dc. I find when I hear the stories, I always end up liking the name no matter how bizarre :D
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I have often thought about this passage: "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven." (Matt 10:32-33) This seems to say He will one day own those who now own Him. If we own Him, he will own us. . . . If we choose Him, He will choose us.
Old Testament clearly states, "Choose you this day whom you will serve. . . . But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua, somewhere)
Definitely a choice. At the same time, I understand how voices of my past influence me even more than I realize! Over the last decade especially, I have fought to get out from "under" these voices that try to tell me who I am or who God is, etc. In fact, I choose not to go to church because it's "safer" for me now and maybe easier to have a more accurate view of who God is.
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Just want to put in a request: If you figure this out (unless you discover you're pg ;)) would you post so I can copycat? I would love to be rid of my love for coffee!
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This caught my attention: Basically, this 30 yr old organic farm is abruptly being shut down by the gov't in favor of using the land for more soccer fields (of which they have plenty already!). If you are concerned about things like this, you can sign the petition (even if you don't live in MD) here:
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Ask around because lots of people buy it and never use it, or quit after a couple weeks. I think it works best for people who are used to exercising on a regular basis. I already have arraigned my life to have that 45-90 mins a day for exercise. I think P90X is good but I am not sure it is THAT good.
If you are interested in P-90X, I say you start by committing getting in an hour of sweaty workout 6 days a week for a few weeks. That is the real key to healthy living. There is nothing special to P90X, it is just MOVING every day. A light walk for 20 mins isn't going to do it. Not really. I lost 40 lbs getting on the Nordic Trac for 45 mins a day 5 days a week, weight lifting a few times a week and keeping my calories to 1500 a day. I also used a bunch of videos at exercise tv. I got the NT from my mom and exercise TV is free, so you don't have to spend a lot
I would love a P90x support thread but it needs to be in the cold weather. In the summer, I am loving the outside workouts!
For inspiration, I loved the book Younger Next Year. Check your library. 45 mins of sweating every day is what you were born to do!
This is good advice. Years ago, I used some VHS tapes and they worked well for me back then. . . but I am going to look at the library and do a trial. Good idea - thanks!
It actually takes more than 1 hour a day, figure 75-90 minutes. You can get some what fit if you don't follow the program according to the directions. To get those results in the ads, you need to follow the diet as well.Since you have hesitation about the time this is probably not the program for you. You should look into Chalean Extreme, Turbo Fire, RevABs, or Power 90. Those programs are probably more your speed BUT each program requires exercising nearly every day. People get awesome results with those programs as well.
If you have a facebook account, I highly recommend visiting the official fan pages for P90X, Chalean Extreme, Turbo Fire, RevAbs and Power 90 for more insight. Average joes post their pictures and their trials and tribulations.
Good ideas to get myself motivated. And thanks for the ideas to look at different programs first.
It's the version Tony did before P90X. I really wouldn't have stayed motivated if I had started with P90X. In Jan I went to the gyn for a regular checkup and she said my blood pressure was really high. This spooked me (I'm *only* 47, have six kids under 14 and have *never* had high blood pressure!) So, I decided to get going. Ordered Power 90 (which as you saw above takes forever when you are depending on military mail) and started walking 3 miles a day about 5 days a week. Power 90 arrived in late Feb so I started it beginning of March. It was hard at first, but only 35-40 min each day. Kept going with it, lost about 10 lbs and a total of 3 in on my hips and waist. Finally felt ready for P90X and now I'm loving it. But I must say that I'm glad I started P90X in the summer since I do have more time available while kids are not doing school and sleeping in a bit. I'm so hoping that this "addiction" has become that, just like brushing my teeth. I know it's working and I'm feeling sssooooo good! Anyway, I think it you want to start with a minimal workout, Power 90 is a good choice (although I hear good things about the ones LG mentioned too.) Try your library before you buy! Lots of them have this either on the shelves or through ILL. The only thing you need for Power 90 is stretchy bands or dumbells (my son made me some out of empty 96 oz juice containers filled with sand until my bands arrived.) But start something! You'll be so glad you did!Jeri
Ahh, thanks for the encouragement!
Day 42 of P90X here. In the first 30 days I lost an inch off my chest, 1 1/2 in off my hips 3/4 in off my waist. I've been struggling with the diet aspect for the last 10 days or so and really need to get back on track.I'm loving the workouts (with the exception of Yoga) and am beyond happy with how much stronger I am becoming. I won't discuss the amazing changes in my DH except to say that I am loving all of his new rippling muscles! ;)
Good for you! I wish my dh would do something like this w/me . . . Who knows, maybe he will one day!
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prayers & :grouphug:
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May I ask you some questions about this program? I had to look at a few sites, each had a little more info. Of course I don't want to buy if I'm not going to use.
It's the "it only takes 1 hour per day" that I don't think I could fulfill. Do you use all these DVDs divided over the period of a week? Do you skip some and still see good results? Do you do less than 1 hr/day? Could you please give me an idea of how you use this program and whether you've seen results comparable to the advertisements? Ie: The ads say "1 hr/day" and talk about getting those "6pak abs" "get ripped in 90 days".
This program looks to be something I would use, but toned down a bit :D and I really want to know if anyone else uses it this way - and *how* it has worked for you! TIA!
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You've gotten a lot of great responses already. . . and I thought about not posting, but then I kept thinking about it :tongue_smilie:
I would have an open conversation with your dd. This would help her to see your humanity. If you weren't limited by your health issues, I'm sure you'd be open to doing a lot of other things - for your dd, for yourself, and for others. I am not saying you should dump on her or burden her with your burdens, but just helping her to see a little from your perspective would help her to be a better person - become more compassionate, maybe see a way that she could relieve you of some of your responsibilities and help out more, thus giving you more energy to do more.
Also, another PP pointed out that God is in control. It does tend to boil down to a faith thing, which is another perspective your dd could grow in.
My last thought is if I were the mother of one of your dd's friends, I would take up the opportunity in an instant to make a playdate happen at my house w/your dd and mine. If you told me of your need, I would make a regular plan (weekly or bi-weekly) of picking up your dd and bringing her home again.
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She's always been...high maintenance? She has always been pretty manipulative and likes to demand *her* way or else. She really likes to be the center of attention and is one of those girls who are always screamy, loud and always full of complaints (know what I mean?). But this wedding has really taken all of that up six notches.
When the groom asked what about Nick's hair does she not like, she said she hates that the rest of the guys have short hair and are blonde. And since she thought that asking him to dye his hair from black to blonde was too much, she wants it cut instead and she will, and I quote, "deal with the color". :glare:
I guess he knows what he's getting into if this wedding debacle hasn't brought out her true colors. I wonder if his folks would just say to him, "We don't care about the 50K we've already spent; we'll cut our losses. We just want you to be happy and we don't think it's possible if you marry her." As far as her parents? They deserve to lose everything for raising such a tyrant! Yuck.
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Haven't read the other posts. . . .
First, when you said the groom was upset that your dh has to cut his hair, I thought I missed something! I reread to that point, and thought so the bride is asserting this?
I definitely think you should say something to him along the lines of what you numerically listed at the bottom of your post and that, in the end, you will support him no matter what his decision is. I would try to open his eyes a little by pointing out that marriage would be like a magnifying glass - no, a microscope! - magnifying the underlying issue here: 1)She sounds very demanding. 2)She cares more about this wedding than she does about her relationships with people: groom, groom's parents, best man. . . (who else!?!). 3)Who is she to kick him out of their apartment?? Anyone who is/has been married knows that if these things are happening NOW, they will continue.
The groom needs to put her in her place, respectfully and as gently as possible. We all need this sometimes from our spouses and we need to also do this for our spouses. If he can't/won't do this now, he likely never will. If he marries her, I predict that misery and divorce will be in his future. :sad:
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Yes! Thanks for sharing!
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My Aspie has sensory processing issues. He craves and needs and seeks high impact sensory input. He is 8 and so far hasn't sought to fulfill those needs with other warm bodies... yet. He still slams into walls and crashes into doors and jumps off of high things, etc. But I can easily imagine him playing too rough with other dc.
OP, I appreciate your genuine desire to learn and understand and not judge this young man or his parents. That is rare. :grouphug: So often people seem like they are seeking to label and blame and ostracize the child who isn't "typical." In your posts, I sense a real desire to understand and work within the framework of this child's diagnosis. As the mama of an Aspie, that means a LOT to me! I hope through the years, I encounter more people like you and less people like the ones I have encountered thus far. :(
:grouphug:
Also wanted to say :grouphug: to you. I know, due to other factors, it is hard to be the target of criticism in any arena, but especially parenting or issues having to do w/our own children. We all need less critcism and more people encouraging us in the things we are doing RIGHT. Aw, I shouldn't get started here, LOL. Take care.
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I have been excited, lately, about this. Though our family will continue homeschooling, I LOVE seeing all these classical charter schools that are popping up!!! It is encouraging to see that classical education, a proven method of solid education for close to two millennia, is on the rise once again. It gives me such hope for our nation as a whole.
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My Aspie has sensory processing issues. He craves and needs and seeks high impact sensory input. He is 8 and so far hasn't sought to fulfill those needs with other warm bodies... yet. He still slams into walls and crashes into doors and jumps off of high things, etc. But I can easily imagine him playing too rough with other dc.
OP, I appreciate your genuine desire to learn and understand and not judge this young man or his parents. That is rare. :grouphug: So often people seem like they are seeking to label and blame and ostracize the child who isn't "typical." In your posts, I sense a real desire to understand and work within the framework of this child's diagnosis. As the mama of an Aspie, that means a LOT to me! I hope through the years, I encounter more people like you and less people like the ones I have encountered thus far. :( :grouphug:
Thank you so much for saying this. It really touches me. When my ds gets together w/her ds, we (my ds and I) forget all about his ASD. It is only w/this latest development (which was really cumulative, but I didn't realize it until the top blew off), that I have stepped back to take as much of an objective look at things as possible. Again, I appreciate your encouragement. I do genuinely care and I am genuinely trying.
I so appreciate everyone's input here.
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This would be understandable, too, even though she doesn't show it. She is the poster child for GOYBP (ignore the acronym if you aren't familiar) Thanks so much for all that you shared about your brother.My brother was often described as aggressive but I don't think that was ever his intent. This is true in my situation, I believe. I'm glad you shared this.What would leave other people in tears just doesn't phase him. Wow, I have seen this in my cousin's son many times, too.
Misperception is a great way to describe how aspies see everything. It's helpful to know this is a possibility in our case, too. I don't want to blame everything on this poor kid; at the same time, I don't want my ds to endure false accusation.
By the time he was the only one in trouble because he was the only one not reading social cues correctly, he was more than ready to blame someone else. I am imagining more after reading this and other experiences in this thread, that it's pretty darn hard to be the "one with the problem everywhere you go". That would get old - feeling that way. Not that it's the truth, but I could see feeling that way. It just makes sense :sad:
As far as your cousin, I bet she is hard to talk to because she is just tired of trying to explain her son's behavior, defend him, and defend herself.
Thank you for your input; it's been helpful.Something else to consider is many ASD kids have sensory processing issues. What may feel like a gentle nudge to someone else, may actually be a hard push (causing the other person to be injured). And likewise, someone may touch them gently, but they are overwhelmed by the feeling and are screaming as if cut with a knife. However, this SAME child when actually injured will not even report any pain, or show any emotion of pain (crying). Boy, could this be true. I am definitely going to share this w/my ds and help him to better communicate w/him.The more overstimulated/excited they become the less aware they are of what they're doing to others (and themselves). Makes a lot of sense.
I suggest asking her again particularly if there is something you and your children can do when playing with him. Perhaps if he really dislikes being touched you can warn yours not to, or if loud noises cause him to retreat or become defensive they can monitor their volume. I don't mean that it is YOUR responsibility to keep this child from injuring yours but it does seem like you want to help and understand. I would think she'd want to limit any stress to her son and would be more verbal about asking for help, especially from family. We are cousins, but not all that close. However, I now feel like I may have some insights as to how to help the boys play in a respectful way together. It sounds like the way they sometimes play (cops, warriors, army) could really be feeding into the tendencies described. I think the play time needs to be redefined and laid out differently.
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I know one other boy with ASD, he is more "rough." He has always needed more pressure, more noise etc etc.
My son is the opposite. Very sensitive to pressure, noises, smells, etc.
I dont know if your sisters boy has an ASD or not... but playing too rough, isn't really an indicator.
I hope these two cousins can work it out. :)
Yes, he has a dx for Aspergers. That's interesting and I appreciate your input that aggression is not necessarily an indicator of ASD. I'm hopeful they/we can work it out. I've just been frustrated with the latest development - and understanding always helps.
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One of the challenges of AS/HFA and really, autistic spectrum disorders in general, is the ineffectiveness for the brain to recognize certain social, nonverbal cues. Rough play generally stays within a kind of tolerated boundary - each kid knows not to play too rough or too light but these cues of knowing when to back off don't necessarily get connected for the aspie. Does that make sense?
You can explain to your son that he can imagine wearing really thick glasses that he can't take off. They make everything blurry and hard to make out. He can make things out, but the details won't ever be there and it might take longer to figure out what's going on, longer than everyone else. His cousin's brain works kind of like that. It's out of focus and so the details get missed and sometimes it takes longer to catch up. If they generally get along well, you can suggest to your son to tell his cousin politely, matter of factly, and briefly what he wants instead of what he's doing. So saying something like, "Max, don't use so much muscle. Let up a little and it will be more fun." That's just a helpful thing to know.
Over compensation for stories or misunderstanding is really understandable too, imo, when you consider that these social cues are missed and no one likes to feel left out. Patience and tolerance go a long way to show affection in general and it won't be misplaced with a family member with AS. The other thing is that a lot of our aspies have a really fine tuned focus on something that, especially as they get older, can be fascinating to learn about. Perhaps when your son is feeling a little overwhelmed by his cousin he can let his cousin be the expert for a while and share what he knows/likes to do.
Thank you, Albeto. I appreciate your description - very visual and helpful.
Will still look for other responses - the more experiences, the better! Thank you.
Anyone tried a GFCF diet for helping with ASD or ADHD?
in The Learning Challenges Board
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I found this article interesting. It would seem to me, though, that any age would benefit from probiotics and fermented foods.
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/07/31/dr-natasha-campbell-mcbride-on-gaps-nutritional-program.aspx?e_cid=20110731_SNL_Art_1