caedmyn
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Posts posted by caedmyn
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My 5th grader completed Barton 8 in June of 2018. He spend the last school year reviewing all the spelling rules with a tutor because he seemed to have forgotten them. He just will not make any attempt to apply them outside of an actual Barton lesson. I don't even mean in composition--I mean, if I say, this is what we're doing for spelling, and I dictate a word or sentence, he will not try to remember or apply the rules. (Sometimes he will for the easiest rules like the level 3 ones, but otherwise, no.) I emailed Susan Barton asking for her recommendations, and she suggested doing the same review procedures he did with a tutor all last year. But 1. He won't cooperate and do that with me (which is why he was working with a tutor), and 2. I'm not willing to do that forever and ever in hopes that someday he'll decide to use what he's learned.
He also doesn't remember the sight words. We've gone through them twice and he remembers them a month or two and then forgets most of them. I'm not sure whether to A. run through them yet again and try to review more, or B. to just give him a notebook with the sight words listed alphabetically and let him use that for reference.
Also, there seems to be such a difference of opinion about whether to proceed with spelling after Barton or not. Some people say, eh, don't beat a dead horse, they can always use spell check. Others say, oh I made my dyslexic kid practice spelling in some form or another until they graduated. So I don't know what to do.
As I see it, my options for spelling are:1. Drop spelling entirely
2. Continue reviewing the Barton flash cards and occasionally ask him why a word in his other schoolwork is spelled that way and otherwise don't worry about spelling
3. Try Spelling You See, or just have him mark things like vowel teams in some of his other schoolwork and and maybe the visual aspect will help things click.
4. Continue with Megawords, which is what he started doing at the beginning of this school year. It's not going real well because they're working on vowel teams and once again he won't make any attempt to figure out which vowel team he's supposed to use. I could try giving him a chart with all the vowel teams listed and see if he would use that. I imagine his unwillingness to apply the spelling rules will be an issue throughout Megawords and they move to different rules.I don't want to cobble together my own program or try something other than what's listed. I already considered Apples and Pears and started the placement test with him, but halfway through the first page he was complaining that it was too hard and he hated it, so...I'm just not willing to fight him every day to get him to do a spelling program.
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As a former LEO, I'd suggest calling and talking to a law enforcement officer (a detective if possible). Ask, if there was a sexual assault, how much evidence is likely to remain on her person, what...48 hrs later? Have her sheets been washed? Has she showered or bathed since then? I would think evidence of force could still be present but semen likely not on her person. Any clothing she wore Saturday should be preserved if possible.
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27 minutes ago, wintermom said:
What colours do you like? Are you happier with lighter walls, or are you willing to go darker and more "dramatic?"
There seem to be a lot of different types and colours of flooring in the various rooms. Are you hoping to find one or more colours to "unify" the various rooms? There is a lot going on visually with the floors and wallpaper, that's for sure! I'd get dizzy.
I like greys, creams, white, navy, other blues, & aqua/seafoam. There's a very few browns I like. Not sure what shades they tend to be. I found a blackberry paint color I like (very dark purple) but I don't see DH going for that anywhere. I think I'd prefer lighter paint colors, except maybe for an accent wall.
Not trying to unify anything.
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32 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:
Your carpet is almost turquoise in the photos and you have a lot of cream and beige in the tile.
The carpet is sort of a medium blue, with slight greyish undertones. It's not turquoise. The tile is various shades of beige, with a few tiles tending more toward brown and a few more toward rusty orange. I wouldn't call any of it cream.
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31 minutes ago, parent said:
Wow, that's a lot of wallpaper to take down!
That's only half the wallpaper in the house. The dining room, one bedroom, and about 1/3 of the downstairs are also papered. The dining room paper is the only one I like.
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We're in the process of removing wallpaper from our living room, entryway hallway, and one bathroom. I'm not sure what paint colors might look good in these rooms, particularly the living room which has walnut trim. I like grey and don't like browns. I'd like to use soft navy somewhere but probably not a whole area (maybe just one wall) because I think it would be too dark.
Bathroom has white cupboards, door, & trim; light grey tile; a bisque toilet, sink, & bathtub; and a soft navy countertop. I'll keep the towels and shower curtain that are pictured. I was thinking maybe white or a soft grey for this room but am open to ideas
Living room has blue carpet, a burgundy couch set, and walnut trim. I don't think the trim color can really be changed because the window frames themselves are walnut, so I need something that will look ok with the existing trim color. We're not planning on replacing the carpet.
Hallway has beige tile and trim and oak accents (banister and some woodwork on the right side of the hallway). The coat closet can be a different color than the rest of the hallway. I'm hoping to redo it with beadboard and a built-in bench, and removing that center partition. The entryway itself has a black stone floor and walnut door and trim.
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My 8th grader is having a difficult time answering the questions in her science text (Rainbow Science). She seems to have very little ability to infer (I think that's the right word) an answer if it's not explicitly stated in the text. For example, today it asked the question, "On the basis of the rules of nature, would you predict that a rock would ever hop up on top of another by itself?" Her answer was, "No." I asked her to explain in complete sentences and she could not. The answer they wanted was something along the lines of, "No. It takes directed energy to place one rock on top of another. The probability of one particular rock increasing its own potential energy to end up on top of another defeats the laws of nature."
To summarize the text....it basically said that energy is the price paid to do useful work and that any time there's a lift off the ground it takes a payment of energy. It talked about if someone wanted to lift a 1,000 lb block of rock off the ground, it couldn't happen on it's own but would need a machine designed for the task that could be direction, fuel to do the task, and someone/something directing the machine to work the plan.
Should DD be able to come up with some variation of the desired response based on this text? This has been an ongoing problem with this science. If she should be able to come up with a reasonable explanation, what do I need to do to get her to that point? I don't even know how to begin teaching her to reason and draw conclusions. We've done some logic. I've talked through my reasoning process for various things for years. How do you teaching a kid to THINK?
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2 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:
what's your climate zone? is the snow a one-off or the beginning of winter weather?
(I've a friend who lives in the mts - and is freaking out because they have a forecast for snow this weekend. which is still early for them.)
It is very early for snow for us, especially this much. November would be more usual.
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We close on our old house tomorrow, and there are a couple of plants I’ve been meaning to transplant from the garden. But it’s supposed to snow about a foot over the weekend, and I’m wondering if it would be a waste of time to transplant them—will the shock of snow just a day or two later kill them? One is a peppermint and the others some violas DD wanted so they’re more on the hardy side overall.
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1 hour ago, Tanaqui said:
Guys. Toes DO serve a purpose. They really ARE necessary for ease in walking. I feel we've all drifted into some very strange place where some of us aren't sure we need toes. You can live without your toes, just like you can live without your entire foot, but your life is definitely improved by having your limbs be in their original factory setting.
This made me laugh. It was just one person...and I think she was only referring to toenails, although her one post did say toes. I don't think that was quite what she meant though.
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47 minutes ago, CuriousMomof3 said:
I am sure that the fact that many of you homeschool has way more impact on the germ level in your house than all my neurotic hand washing. I worry about the germs my schooled kids bring home.
I think my kids pick up about the same stuff from Sunday school, their midweek church class, and other church-related events as other kids do at school. I don't remember DD getting sick particularly often the 3 years she was in school. I do know there have been several occasions where we've caught something and later I found out it was going around the school our church runs. I was particularly displeased when several people brought their not-really-recovered-from-the-flu kids to one church event and of course we (and others) caught it. Seriously people, I don't care if it only happens once a year and your kid spent months preparing--if they're sick, stay home!
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3 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:
Practically never. It's true what they say about large families. We're dirty.
😛
Okay, so after bathroom, yes, but I'm awful about before meals. We do great after gardening, that's points, right?
Truthfully, I'm fairly certain these kids have immune systems like tanks.I'm so glad we're not the only ones. My mom was kind of guilting me today because my kids don't wash their hands before meals or emptying the dishwasher. I don't worry about it when my toddlers eat some random thing off the floor out in public either. I mean, I'll stop them if I can, but if not, well, they crawl around on the floor and then chew on their hands, so what's the difference really?
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16 hours ago, shawthorne44 said:
I asked my vet about the life expectancy of indoor vs indoor-outdoor cats. She said that there was no comparison. Indoor/Outdoor was about a year. Indoor was about 10 years. And these were cats cared for enough to see the vet.
That must be highly location specific. We had a number of cats growing up, all of whom were indoor/outdoor cats, and none had shortened lives due to that, unless you count the one who was we put down due to attacking other cats and their owners wanting us to pay the resulting vet bills. Two were 10+ (one must have been more than 15) when they died of something old-age related, two were given away for various reasons, one my parents thought (or knew, can't remember) jumped into their running vehicle when the door was left open when someone ran in to get something, then jumped out and ran off when they made a stop...she must have been at least 10 at the time. I think there was one more but I don't remember what happened to that one. And we lived on a moderately busy street (though it came to a T at the end of our block so people didn't drive down it fast) with a very busy street directly behind us.
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Say 10 & unders...do they wash them before meals? Before unloading a dishwasher? Do your boys (voluntarily) wash their hands after using the bathroom?
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14 hours ago, Lanny said:
Why the cat in the OP would go after the DD of the OP is unknown. I don't know if toys or other things would solve this issue. Possibly he will need to spend more time outside of her room?
DD just kind of tolerated him biting and scratching her when he was little, so now he thinks it's ok. I do think it will help if he's in her room less. DH is putting a cat door in her door so the cat can go out when he wants but still have a safe place to come back to.
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*If you're only going to tell me how inhumane you think declawing is, please refrain from commenting.*
We have a 7 month old male kitten. Our plan when we got him was to make him mostly an outdoor cat once he was grown. I wouldn't mind keeping him an indoor cat as he's quite a nice cat, but he needs to be declawed if he's going to stay indoors. He's completely ruined the carpet in DD's room in front of the door, he scratches the walls in her room (to be fair, they're rough-hewn pine paneling so I imagine they're fairly attractive) in spite of having multiple scratching posts, he destroys stuff in DD's room regularly, and he scratches her quite a lot (but rarely anyone else). He attacks the curtains and couches also. Hopefully some of this will subside once he gets neutered next month, and outgrows kittenhood, but I'm not willing for him to destroy the house to remain an indoor cat. I'm aware of the arguments against declawing and I have had a cat in the past who was declawed due to landlord requirements, as well as a bunch of (mostly outdoor) cats that weren't. I'm just not sure if it's worth declawing him so he can remain an indoor cat. We do have really rough winters here, with high winds all winter and stretches of 25-30 below zero temperatures, so he'll have to be indoors a good part of the winter. -
We have a 7 month old kitten. He's pretty gentle overall (a little crazy, but not mean) and almost never bites or scratches my boys even when they well deserve it. I never let him bite or scratch me when he was little and now he know he isn't supposed to and will play attack me but not actually bite or scratch. He acts entirely different with DD13. He's spend most of his time in her room since we got him. Apparently he consider her something like a littermate, and he regularly attacks, bites, scratches, etc, her. Is there any way to convince him to stop doing this at this point? We've had him for about 5 months.
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When I had adrenal fatigue I had 3 daytime low cortisol levels and a bedtime high due to insomnia, years of pregnancy and breastfeeding and night wakings, and chronic high stress levels. After about a year of being barely functional and trying a bunch of different things which didn't help much (thyroid meds for hypothyroidism, different herbal supplements, adrenal glandulars), I started taking prescription hydrocortisone tablets, and eventually ended up taking an aldosterone med too (Florinef). It took about another 6 months before I started to feel like my energy was coming back. I tried to wean off the steroids several times over the next couple years but was never able to do it. I really think I would have been on them forever, but I started taking low-dose naltrexone (ostensibly for my Hashimotos but really because others had said they were able to wean off hydrocortisone after starting it). I was able to start weaning off the steroids almost immediately and was completely off them in about 6 months, after which I stopped the LDN because it wasn't doing anything for my thyroid. I felt great! I went through another pregnancy with good energy levels instead of the usual 5-6 months of sheer exhaustion. Unfortunately my adrenals are struggling again under the weight of chronic high stress, night nursing, and more insomnia (I've never managed to get rid of the insomnia more than temporarily no matter what I've tried). I've tried a couple things that my nutritionist has recommended that have helped some. If it gets bad again I'll have to go back on HC, or maybe just try the LDN first and see if that can fix my adrenals all by itself.
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We put our old house on the market last month and had a full-price offer (with us paying their closing costs) within hours. We'd listed the house about 10% above what the realtor thought the market value was. The appraisal came back on Friday at the market value, and obviously the sellers are not willing to pay above that for the house. We're strongly considering counter-offering, agreeing to the price they want but without paying their closing costs. There's a good chance we'll lose these buyers if we do that, because they're using an FHA loan, which I guess is generally used when buyers don't have the cash for a down payment, which means they probably don't have the money for closing costs either.
Obviously it's not possible to know exactly what will happen if these buyers walk away, but it seems like we're in a good position to find another buyer quickly. We're in a seller's market. Houses in our neighborhood have sold very quickly the last year or so. Our house is one of the larger houses in the neighborhood (not significantly larger, but a bit larger with an extra bedroom) on one of the largest lots, with a very large, heated garage. It's also got lots of new--newer roof, new paint inside and out, and all non-carpeted areas have brand new flooring. We don't have a payment on the house but the proceeds will pay down a good chunk of the loan on our current house and allow us to drop the PMI so it does benefit us financially to sell it...but so would an extra 6K that we'd lose in closing costs.
Is it better to go with the sure thing, or take a (probably fairly small) chance with finding a new buyer? -
52 minutes ago, Jentrovert said:
I've been reading along, trying to decide what I would do with multiple neurodiverse kids and a spouse who refused to allow evals. It sounds like you don't want to rock the boat with anything, such as enrolling them in school or doing the evals on your own. So in that situation, given that there is apparently a bit of extra $ to hire someone, but not enough to hire someone qualified with the kids, I guess I would hire someone to do all cleaning. If there were additional funds, I would hire out laundry. I'd hire someone to do everything I could, so I could concentrate on remediating/accomodating/etc.
I personally would do whatever I had to to make evals and services happen, though. It is completely unfair to the child to be denied appropriate services, as it has the potential to affect them for their entire lives. To be fair, I am extremely biased on this matter, because I live with the result of parental refusal to acknowledge/recognize problems, eval, seek services, etc. It will not endear you to your future sons and daughters in law, nor to your adult children who have to work twice as hard as everyone else to accomplish ordinary things, figure out their own dx, and seek their own remediation and services while trying to manage adult life.
I apologize if this seems harsh. It's not intended to be. I don't live your life, and you may decide that whatever the reasons are, are more important. But NOT doing something is a choice, just as much as doing something. There will be consequences either way.
I don’t know why people are interpreting things this way. My kids have done/are doing dyslexia remediation, OT, speech therapy, and vision therapy. We’ve worked some on EF issues. There are many things that are being/have been addressed. I don’t believe they’re basically doomed for life because they haven't been evaluated for or given meds for adhd. They will certainly have the option of starting those once they hit 18. If it seems that they could benefit from them as adults, I'll make sure they’re aware of their options.
My need was for a babysitter, primarily for the youngest ones. It doesn’t require a bunch of special qualifications for that, just some experience. I’d hoped the sitter could do a bit with the olders, but if not, it wasn’t essential and the main need has still been met.
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1 hour ago, Arctic Mama said:
There really wouldn’t? I obtain all sorts of services for my kids without running it by my husband?
We drive about 50 minutes for the best pediatric hospital, with some satellite branches and a mid tier pediatric hospital much closer for therapy and such. That was a conscious choice when we moved, but I’m absolutely not opposed to driving all six kids and my pregnant self several hours for testing in Cleveland, if need be. It’s just not that hard, especially with plenty of snacks and an iPad 🙂 And for evals it only usually happens twice - one with the eval and once with the treatment plan, where I would get my referrals or materials for working at home.
These problems you keep mentioning are solvable. You can do this!
I think I wasn’t very clear. I meant that in order to move closer to whatever services, there would be a need to agree that those services were needed on an ongoing basis.
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5 minutes ago, PeterPan said:
So our state has great access in the big cities, fading access as you drive out, and ZERO services when you get rural. What usually happens if someone is dealing with something that needs a BCBA is the BCBA is in a big city, hires a local person, and they supervise. I had a BCBA in the big city offer to do that with me. Because I live outside the big city, I have to drive 40 minutes for services, yes.
You just moved into this house, but moving near services wasn't on the table? You have power here, so you want to remember your power.
First there would have to be a consensus from both parents that there is a need for services. Moving out of the area isn't really an option anyway as DH has an excellent job here that is cannot be transferred elsewhere (it basically exists because we're near the US/Canada border).
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DS10 is dyslexic. He's done through Level 8 of Barton (reading and spelling program for dyslexia) and then spent all of last year reviewing the spelling in Barton because he'd apparently forgotten all of it. He couldn't/wouldn't spell any better at the end of all that review than before it. This year he's going though Megawords 1. The first section is compound words, and we're having problems because he can't/won't apply the spelling that he's learned. He generally doesn't know how to spell any sight words (in spite of the fact that we've gone over them all twice using the Barton methods, and he can spell them fine for a month or two afterwards and then forgets them) or anything that uses vowel teams. I really don't know how to handle this. Do I just tell him how to spell anything he says he doesn't know how to spell? Make him review the rules on vowel teams every time and find the others from the list of words at the beginning of the Megawords book? Give up on spelling entirely...after all, he can always use spell checkers? (That last option is sounding really good right at the moment.)
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15 hours ago, itsheresomewhere said:
Anyone can be listed as qualified, write a few books and work with a school. But what makes me hesitant with him is the fact he didn’t ask for the kids evaluations first and since they don’t have any, tell you to get them before he works with you. A good professional who works with behavior issues will demand those. And since it is online, he should have someone working with you locally to help. We have had our share of professionals including a few complete whack a doodles. If I were you, get the evaluations done along with finding someone locally who can help.
Demanding evaluations first would certainly mean that I could never get any help. Also, people are assuming that there is even someone local to me who deals with these sort of behavioral issues, and as far I've been able to find out, there is not.
reasonable to expect almost 14 yo to get themselves up in morning?
in The Chat Board
Posted
Is it reasonable to expect an almost 14 YO to be responsible to get themselves up in the morning? This is an endless struggle with my DD. I'd like her to get up around 7 so she has time to get herself ready for the day, take care of her cat, and do a morning chore before breakfast at 8:30 (she's slow, so she needs a lot of margin). She goes to bed between 9 & 9:30 so I think she gets a reasonable amount of sleep. But she has a string of excuses as to why she didn't get herself up--she lost her alarm clock, the cat knocked it off wherever she put it and the time went out, she forgot to set the alarm on her tablet (which is supposed to be set to go off automatically every weekday so I'm not even sure why this is an issue), she didn't hear the alarm, she was tired so she turned off the alarm and fell back asleep, and on and on. I really need her to take responsibility for getting herself up so I don't have yet another thing to remember and stay on top of every morning. If it is reasonable to expect this, what can I do to actually enforce this?