sorry double post?!?!?!

so, i'd like a consensus on the return of the toy would you make it happen asap or is the next time they are together (monday) appropriate? is getting other child's mom and dad involved necessary/appropriate (i.e. should I be saying something to other mom or let my son handle it)? do you think my son handing over his legos to other child is the right thing to do and if so, how many pieces? this is so hard b/c it feels like such a reflection of me as a parent and i worry about the relationship with his friend and even myself feeling awkward around his parents!

that was my plan but dh said, he can return it when he sees him monday at scouts and explain/apologize then. he thinks i shouldn't drive him over there today and make a bigger deal in front of kids' mom. (actually they aren't home today, but... - before Monday). i feel a need for "punishment" but all i can think of are things like : take away legos for x number of days/weeks/etc..., go to bed early, no tv or computer. should it be all of those? one of those? for how long?

wondering the same thing. is this one big account that you've got "divided up" on paper or multiple accounts? i like the idea but not sure how to approach the management of it.

postpartum and nursery RN, averaging 2 days per week. not sure about education... but where i work, just about everything under bachelor's RN is being phased out. very few opportunities if any for LPN. Associate's RN is on it's way out as well it seems.

can't believe i'm having to ask this but i'm at a loss here. 8 yo ds played at a friend's house yesterday and came home with a stolen lego hat in his pocket. he proceeded to come up with multiple stories about it, starting with one about how it was actually his from a certain set. i contradicted his every lie until he finally gave me the truth. friend had several, he thought it'd be ok to take one. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? i feel like a failure of a parent right now. if you've btdt or even if you haven't, i need some advice. he's apologizing all over himself to me and dh. i don't know the appropriate punishment. also concerned about him jeopardizing this friendship. aaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh. please talk to me!

DS is taking a long time still to answer basic problems of 5+3, 8-2, etc...he figures it out, but i'm convinced that oftentimes he's probably counting in his head. i feel like he needs some extra practice, but i'm not sure how to provide it. fwiw, we're currently working on mental addition of 2-digit numbers. so he's advancing, just slow. and maybe that's ok and i'm just overthinking this. also, he seems to just be really frustrated in general with doing math and i don't know how to make it better. the games don't really help, btw.

i guess i just can't wrap my mind around how to accomplish "inflexible routine" and "bootcamp". believe me, they tempt me...it feels like it's necessary for at least awhile to get on track. i just don't even know where to begin because i feel like i'm just constantly running around putting out the fires of life and can never really get it all together. and i'm an organized person, in general. very type A. i just can't make this work, mainly because i don't even know where to begin. most people say to "start small" or "change one thing at a time". but something's really tugging at me to make it extreme. change everything. now. this is the new way we operate around here so get used to it. am i destined to fail with this approach? and still...how do you make that kind of change? i mean, i kinda need a step-by-step approach right now.

Dear Lord, i fear we'd mark up a calendar in a day! there isn't enough space in that little square!

what's this all about? please explain more! :)

thank you. i keep thinking that once we're in the new house i'll really have the opportunity to make it the way i want to and until then, it's just a bandaid fix. we're probably about 2 months from the move at this point. however, i feel like i'm just a sucky mom right now and that no matter where we live, that ain't gonna change it! i just feel worn out right now and not sure how i can recharge or IF i can recharge. i think one of the best changes i can make is to eliminate tv, or at least drastically curb it. even an hour a day (we sit and watch in the morning while we have our coffee/hot chocolate) seems problematic. i just need to get dh and my mom (who stays with them one day per week) on board. i have GOT to come up with activities for my 2 yo for during school and that will also involve removing about 50% of the toys from her access so that they are exciting when they come out of hiding. it just seems that nothing enthralls her for more than about 2 minutes unless i am with her. ugh. she's also still nursing. i have mostly child-lead weaned my kids and both boys stopped before 3. she's 2 yrs 5 mos. it's wearing on my nerves but trying to limit her is very nerve-wracking too.

i posted a while back but it got moved to the chat board (???) and never responded to. So i'll try again. I feel the need to make a total change in my house because it seems things aren't working well. I feel like the tallest person in the house and that my kids do a bit of walking all over me. It takes multiple times of telling them to do something to make it happen, for example. I can't just "say it once, walk away, and expect it to be done" because something will distract them and they'll totally forget about it. But by the time i've said it five times, i yell it and then i feel guilty. My kids are ds 8, ds5, and dd2. i feel run ragged pretty much all the time. i work two days per week and dh works four. we are involved in minimal outside activities (scouting, baseball, church on sundays...nothing too excessive). we are nearing the end of building our new home, which has been time consuming. i am in PT 1-2 times per week for herniated disc and other spine issues. as much as i don't enjoy it, i'd love to find the time to exercise because i feel i need it. i have a strong addiction to coffee and chocolate :) i'm feeling the need to take a day to get organized and then turn my house and daily life into a replica of public school. i.e. i feel a STRONG need to have some serious structure. maybe once under control we could wean back, but right now i feel like i've lost all control and i'm floundering in life. i don't want to fail my children but i can't stand one more day of dragging 8 yo to the table to do school (while he's sighing and complaining) only to get 5 minutes in before being interrupted because my 2 yo wants to sit on my lap and do something or my 5 yo coming to ask me some ridiculous question. i've tried getting older brother and younger sister to work/play together while other older brother is doing school, but it fails miserably each time. i've cried in front of my kids because i feel like such a failure and so defeated. i've threatened public school. this doesn't feel good, but i'm at my wits end. i seriously don't know how to make this work.

totally! i feel like i'm either over-paying or underpaid, not sure which! i have no clue how to make a poll or i'd do it!

we built our home (haven't finished yet) but in looking at what was and is for sale, we'd have lived in an outright dump to get these kinds of payments. right now, we pay around 8% in rent (not including renters insurance) and it is literally unheard of in our area to pay that. dilapidated trailer parks are renting for more. what's going on? seriously...is somebody willing to post what they paid for their house cause i'm super curious?!?!

maybe it's where i live or maybe i'm just confused. when i think of someone paying 10-15% of takehome pay on a mortgage i'm thinking you must live in a REALLY cheap (price) house or have a REALLY high income. what am i missing?

no, this is not "real financial problems". it's a nagging feeling that i could always be saving more and i'm constantly looking for big and small ways to do it.

no, not too simplistic. it's exactly what i'm looking for!

ok, improper choice of words. what i mean is that i offer to buy "in bulk" i.e. 6 pack of pepsi or box of candy bars. but he'll still buy out. OR he'll say, "no, don't get it. i need to stop". but then he goes to work and does it anyway. so i'm "allowed" to buy whatever i want...it's just that he doesn't take advantage of me buying in bulk to feed his habit.

agree. but how do you teach children contentment? anything besides modeling it?

my replies in bold

i believe he honestly gets enjoyment out of buying. he gets enjoyment out of junk food. kids like junk food. he feels good to provide himself and them with some junk food. i feel pressure to cook from scratch and to limit junk food...financially and healthwise. but i don't think he avoids from scratch cooking so he can have more time with the kids. he just doesn't want to do it.

hits home. thank you

no advice from me but i'm in a similar boat. hugs. hopefully you'll get some advice here.

i don't really have to scramble. i'm just a saver and a scrimper by nature. dh is a saver but not to the point of denying himself something he really wants that he finds reasonable. the problem is what he finds reasonable. for example with the gas station junk food. i would not have a problem with spending 500 on an item he really wanted. but frittering away 500 over the course of a year on JUNK FOOD AT A GAS STATION seems really stupid *to me*. if you're gonna spend the money spend it on something worthwhile. the problem is he finds it worthwhile. i do not. i don't know how to reconcile that. maybe i shouldn't care about 50-100 per month on junk and random eating out, but i do. it doesn't break us, but we could do better.

so if it would tick you off and it's not right or fair, then how do you agree on deciding how much he gets and never saying anything about it? :)