I talk to the trees
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Posts posted by I talk to the trees
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5 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:
This post is for everyone, but especially for those of us who have a past history of dysfunction and trauma in our families.
This thought occurred to me this week.
As time goes by, I have less tolerance for people’s crap. I don’t engage in certain types of conversations and use gray rock a lot around certain people. But if I need to concretely act on things done to me, I start second guessing and feel bad about myself.
Maybe I’m getting stronger and it just feels weird?
Does this make sense? Do you relate?
If you don’t, do you have any advice?
No advice to offer here, only commiseration! The bold bit basically describes my relationship with my mother. To be honest, I’m still not as good at “gray rocking” as I should be with her, because I wind up second guessing myself and thinking that I’m being mean by not responding to her hysterics. There are layers of garbage with her, but the basic story line which I have repeated all my life goes like this: I disagree with my mother about something. She responds with dramatic passive aggression. I go low or no contact for a week or two, and she “behaves” for a while,so I hopefully (and, I now realize, stupidly) believe she has finally changed, and I am the one being mean for cutting contact for a while. Just as I am beginning to believe things might be ok, BAM! The passive aggression is back with a vengeance, reminding me that I wasn’t overreacting at all. *lather, rinse, repeat*
Passing you some 🍷and 🍫, IB!
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4 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:
Admit it. You were watching the Yummy Mummy show.
I had to look that one up. Uh… 😆nope!
Come on, gang! I thought the hive knew everything! Anyone? Bueller?
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Reported transmission levels are still high in our area, and we are still masking (n95) every time we are in a public place. Most of the time, we are the lone mask wearers, but occasionally I will see one or two people with a mask. It is frustrating to see that almost everyone has thrown up their hands and given up, but so far, we have not had covid (that I know of.) I'm just popping in to say that for us, it's worth it to keep masking, even if that means getting a few ugly looks and comments now and then.
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I am trying to find a podcast that I listened to some time between the summer of 2020 and the spring of 2021, because I'd really like to listen to it again. Alas! I have forgotten the name, and have had no luck at all in searching for it. It was a fictional series, narrated by a young, Australian mother with a toddler and a baby. Each episode would have something to do with her encounters with her neighbors when she took her children for a walk around the neighborhood. In the final episode, the neighbors have a memorial party for an elderly neighbor who has passed away. When she wraps up each episode, she tells about all the things she loves about her neighborhood, and then adds, "...and I love you, listeners." or something like that.
Does this ring a bell for anyone?
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1 hour ago, KSera said:
The OP is Catholic, which means the flavor of conservative Christianity is relevant for her, because some flavors are unwelcoming to Catholic Christians (most particularly in homeschool co-ops).
It should be that discussion of the way politics has infiltrated a state’s education system has nothing to do with religion. A state not allowing teaching about racial issues has absolutely zero to do with Christianity. Or it certainly shouldn’t and is offensive when it does.
Oh, golly, yes to the bolded! The conservative group we briefly belonged to (in NY, so nowhere near the extremes of the “Bible Belt”) was quite openly anti-Catholic! If I was in the OP’s shoes, I’d absolutely want to know about that sort of atmosphere before rather than after a move!
OP, welcome. I hope you find what you’re looking for, be it in Florida or Alaska, or wherever! As for me, I’ll just smile and wave at ya from a state that *doesn’t* have giant, flying cockroaches…yet…though I have been told that the giant, parachuting spiders are on their way, so…😳
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I know there are scores of old wives’ tales about how to get labor started, with varying levels of veracity, but I’m a wife and I’m old (well, almost old enough to get an AARP membership) so here’s my completely unscientific recommendation: Jalapeños. Snack on lots of jalapeños. I had a craving for peppers and ate…oh, probably 1/3 cup or so of the little pickled slices. Dd checked out of her comfy accommodations less than 24 hours later. 😁
In all seriousness, I’m sending lots of happy, head-down, easy labor vibes in your direction!
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Glad to hear that the surgery is over and done. Now for a speedy (as possible) recovery!
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Maybe the kid's favorite tv show is Iron Chef? 😁 (Is that show still around?)
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44 minutes ago, KSera said:
You know, it honestly is good to hear other people say it's understandable I feel the way I do. This has been going on a long time now and I always feel like I'm being sluggish and lazy (because I am!) but it's somehow helpful to hear that it's understandable for me to feel that way.
I totally forgot about molasses. That's a really good idea. I will order some.
eta: is there a brand that's more palatable than others? Can I eat it in cookies? 😂
Here's my favorite iron supplement recipe: Combine equal parts tahini, cocoa powder, and molasses. Drizzle it over fresh fruit, spread it on toast, or just eat it with a spoon. It’s better than Nutella, imo, but I actually really like molasses.
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Ok, so I have resisted even opening this thread because I knew that as soon as I did I would be a weeping, blubbing mess. But I wanted to reply because I know from experience that having people rally around you and support you - even if it is “imaginary friends” on the internet- is so important! It doesn’t take the pain away, of course, but it does make you feel less alone.
I have done this way too many times. (It’s the biggest drawback of having multiple dogs.) Though none of them were easy, the one that weighs the least on me was the one where we had the vet come to the house. We all sat outside under a tree, where my boy could watch the clouds float by. (Yup. Crying like a baby now.) This also allowed our other dogs a chance to sniff him so they would “understand” why he was missing from the pack.
I am so sorry! Sending lots of gentle hugs!
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I know exactly what you are describing. The “this is just the matrix” description is quite accurate, though I never would have thought to describe it in that way.
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Really thinking outside the box here, but if it’s just 15-20 people plus the wedding party for a 10 minute ceremony, could the guests just stand in a circle around the couple? This could be done practically anywhere: museum, park, beach, maybe even the spot where the couple had their first date! For example, there are some lovely overlooks on the Blue Ridge Parkway near me that would have plenty room for a short, small group gathering, and the backdrop for photos would be amazing.
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2 hours ago, Innisfree said:
Is an anonymous or confidential report a possibility? If you have reason to believe the girls are not in a safe situation, it seems necessary.
ETA: Just thinking, if construction vehicles are driving through the neighborhood often, it could easily have been one of the drivers who got worried and called. If your name weren’t reported, it might be hard to identify you as the caller. But I don’t know how this works.
Yes, I’m pretty sure I could call CPS anonymously, but even if she didn’t know it was us for certain, I know she would suspect it. Dh called the police this past summer because the girls started a campfire their backyard (completely unsupervised) and kept throwing random things in and playing around it. They looked like they were in bathrobes/ flowy nightshirts, and the flames just kept getting higher. Dh finally said, “That's just not safe!” and made the call. The fire marshal wound up coming out (lights blazing on the big engine) and giving them a rather lengthy lesson in fire safety, during which time, the mom returned home. I’m fairly certain the fire marshal told them that a concerned neighbor had called, and since theIr other next door neighbor has a 6-ft privacy fence, it wouldn’t take much to figure out who made the call, iykwim.
I hate to put it this way, but so many Virginians love their guns, and (long story) I have strong reason to believe this particular family would not hesitate to pull a trigger. *sigh* I'd really like to relocate to somewhere where this is less true, but my aging parents are here, and I'm an only, so that’s not going to happen! Sorry to hijack your thread, OP!
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I am so, so sorry! My heart would be broken too! There is a similar situation next door to us. They have no fence, and their dog (looks to be a small herding dog mix of some sort) gets out 4-5 times a week and runs loose. Mom is pretty much absent, and the three little girls (all elementary school age) chase the dog all over, across the (very busy, with lots of construction vehicles) road, and through everyone's yards. A few days ago, I saw the middle daughter try to pick the dog up by its front legs to carry it home. This summer, the girls were out in the middle of the road roller blading and riding their bicycles. So not only is the dog being neglected, but the little girls are too. It’s so sad, but I dare not report them. The (single) mom is an alcoholic and absolutely bat guano crazy, and I don’t doubt for a moment that she would attempt to retaliate.
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Just now, Tree Frog said:
I wasn't sure about being upset about this. In some families, I think it might be normal.
It may be the way some families behave- so “normal” for that family- but it is still incredibly inconsiderate and totally rude!
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Oh, boy! You’re way nicer than I am! I would have said, “Enjoy your hotel stay! We'll get together some time when you are healthy and not hacking all over everything and everyone!” You went above and beyond as a hostess, and have every right to be quite angry with the way they behaved!
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3 hours ago, happi duck said:
Have we already covered using the word "elevation"?
Oooh, I like the idea of talking about elevation when you’re up in the mountains. Carrie, what's your elevation above sea level? How about Cafe [elevation] ?
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On 12/30/2022 at 9:30 AM, Carrie12345 said:
I like a lot of them! There could be some issues with a few that use names or parts of names of surrounding towns and other organizations I’ve been a part of, but they’ve sparked some additional thoughts!
Sadly, we can’t use our last name because it’s spelled weird and sounds racist when labeling anything with it!
Dh’s name just so happens to be Joe, lol, but he’s not going to be involved in the day-to-day (if this comes to fruition.) I’m hesitant to use his name for *our hard work. Unless it were to be SUPER cheeky!Joe and So's, perhaps? (At least that doesn’t leave you out!)
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$4.66/dozen at Aldi just now, with a 6 dozen limit. They only had 20 or so cartons left. Yikes!
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It's time once again to play "Consumer Reports: Hive Edition." Here's the deal: I haven't had a new laptop since 2005. I haven't really needed one. But I just became the proud owner of a MacBook Air 🎉, and I need a case and a new laptop bag. So lay it on me, guys. Do you have a protective case that you love? Do I really need a case if I have a bag? I tried looking on Amazon, and now my head is spinning. (Yes, I know. First world problems.) I just want a bag (probably a messenger style) that provides a decent amount of padding/protection and has plenty of pockets for cables and chargers. Bonus points if it's eco-friendly and from a company with ethical business practices. Does such a thing exist?
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Positive. Sorry!
eta: I think I would recommend new glasses, or perhaps a new career for the nurse in question!
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Hits: Kong jumbler toys for the dogs, well, ok for <———-that dog, the one in my avatar, because she doesn’t share well. 😂
Urchin print leggings from Svaha for dd. Guys, I have never ordered leggings before from Svaha, but I am sold! I may have to have a pair of these for myself. They are so very soft, not at all see-through, and they have POCKETS!
Miss: Bit of an awkward gift from my mother to dd. Best not to post details, but all is well, at least for now.
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Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁
Anyone have any snow they would like to send me? We got flurries for about thirty minutes last night, but that was it! Boooooo on you, Mother Nature! If you’re going to send the cold, please send snow, too! 😂
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Oh, no! I am so very sorry for your loss!
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Is this normal?
in The Chat Board
Posted
Aside from dd, my dogs are my world. We do everything together from exercise (canine enthusiasm is the best motivator for a daily 5k!) to pet therapy.(which allows me to share the joy they bring me with those who cannot have dogs.) They are truly my best friends, and I would be lost without them.
I try to be a responsible dog owner. My dogs are chipped, and they are never allowed off leash anywhere except their own fenced yard. Even so, accidents can happen. Leashes or harnesses can break, and in the blink of an eye, a dog can be off and away, chasing a rabbit or squirrel or chipmunk. This is one of my worst nightmares, but now I have a new one!
It actually makes me nauseated to think that if one of my pups escaped, they would be found by a heartless creep like your dh - utterly devoid of compassion, and so cruel as to not care one iota about not just the well-being of another living creature, but the agony of the dog’s owner. (There could be a child out there crying their eyes out because their beloved pet is lost!)
One night, and you are the one who will be caring for the animal until you can turn it over to a shelter or rescue? Your dh needs to put on the big boy undies and deal with this extremely minor inconvenience! The fact that your dd is afraid to upset her father is also concerning, but that’s another issue altogether.