Melissa in NC
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Posts posted by Melissa in NC
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I just got new floors and countertops in my kitchen and I have spent the past two day cleaning up my kitchen. Everything was covered in dust.
Today I put a beef roast into the crock pot and put it outside to cook. (So it would not heat up the kitchen.) I made BBQ beef sandwiches, zuchinni, sweet potato fried, salad and strawberries. For dessert, we had fruit popsicles or homemade coconut ice cream. I am so happy to have my kitchen back. Eating out get old so quickly.
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I looked up my high school boyfriend. He achieved his dream of becoming a lawyer and was disbarred for stealing from his clients. Funny, I was not surprised. I dodged a bullet.
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I'm afraid that I don't get your logic. My demand included an ultimatum, but so did hers. I said I do want to talk about. She said she won't. I, at least, left the door open for her to talk in the future if she wants.
I didn't say she "is" crazy, I said she acted crazy. But you are right that I don't trust her and maybe I am done with this relationship. I wish it weren't so. But I can't see any way around it. I have no desire to be in a relationship with someone who won't talk to me about the real issues. I would be walking on eggshells all the time wondering what was going to happen next.
Let put this in a different context. You say you want to go out to eat at a Italian Restaurant. I say I would like to go out but I do not want to go Italian. That is not a demand on my part, just the give and take of a relationship. You counter that it is Italian or you do not want to see me again until I eat Italian with you. That is a demand and an ultimatum.
From your post, I think you need to be honest with yourself you are ticked off at her for her behavior.
"She behaved terribly to a group of people who bent over backwards to give her her way in the co-op and tore it apart."
Perhaps she is right. You both need breathing room to cool off.
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Explain to me, please, how it is demanding to want to talk through a problem, but not demanding to refuse to talk through a problem?
Your demand include an ultimatum that ended the friendship.
You said you do not trust her and she is "crazy". Perhaps she sees you exited the relationship already. I would not want to prove to someone I am not crazy.
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"I replied to her that it was exactly the thing that I *did* want to talk about, because I didn't want to sweep it under the rug and wanted the opportunity to make things right, if I could. She still refused. So I told her to let me know when she was ready to talk, but that I wasn't interested in a relationship where we ignore the elephant in the room. I have still not heard from her."
If she does not want to talk about it, let it rest. Threatening to withhold friendship because she does not want to rehash things is manipulative. I would not answer you if you made such a statement to me. I would not want you to "make things right" for me. Let her work things through herself.
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Can someone make this a sticky until the sale is over? It is such great info.
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Just placed my order. Thanks so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :)
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The shirt makes me want to throw rotten eggs at the wearer.
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Good for you. :D
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Hi, I am Melissa in NC but now I live in MD. I have a curse and move every 6 years so it was foolish to include my state in my name. LOL.
I have been homeschooling my 2 dd for 10 years and have been on these boards since the beginning, sometimes lurking, sometimes posting a lot.
We homeschool for academics, especially with all the moving. My oldest would have attended 5 different schools by now if we did not homeschool. I love that I can guide them in what I found to be important in life.
I have always received great advise on these boards and I have learned a great deal about different perspectives. Thanks to SWB for hosting us.
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She couldn't be mad at dh because after all he is perfect, so I got it all.the.time. Just me. No one else.
The sun rises and sets on my dh shiny little hiney. :glare:
I am the cause of all that is wrong with the world. :D
Impish - :grouphug:
Enjoy your ring.
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1. I am a mom so mom jeans are just fine.
2. I do have junk in my trunk and pocket placement is not going to hide it.
3. I am over 40 and I do not have to care anymore.
4. My husband still like me the way I am. :D
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These are our favorite erasers- they work really great:
My favorite !!! :)
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I do not need to reinvent the wheel. Does a lesson plan for College Physics already exist? What labs did you do? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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My dd philosophy is, "We don't need no stinking shoes." What does that say about her? (Bad grammar intended.)
I have a very wide foot and I wear the shoes that are comfortable !!!!
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We are currently remodeling our kitchen. We moved some cabinet around and exposed what was under the cabinet over the over the range microwave - scorch marks from a fire.
In this house and our previous house, we had a OTR microwave and the vent leaked into the cabinet over the microwave. Every time I got something out of that cabinet, it was covered with grease. The vent was not sealed properly in either house. My husband ripped out the microwave and we headed to Lowes for a cheap replacement cabinet and a real hood that vented to the room. These hoods have charcoal filters. Now we have a better countertop microwave.
I feel safer with a hood. No more hidden, grease laden fire box over my stove. :tongue_smilie:
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First stop is at the back of the store where they hand out free samples. Sometimes, they will walk right up to you when you are looking at a label and offer to open the box for you and give you a sample. (I got hooked on rice crispy treats that way.)
I love thier dairy free chocolate chips so much that when I moved to another state, I make twice yearly trips 1:15 hours away to stock up on chips. I buy a dozen bags at a time.
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Nice. :glare:
Be prepared for her to make up things about you to the ladies at the park, too. She sounds unstable and vindictive. Do YOU have friends in the homeschool group? Be prepared to ask them to tell you if the lady starts spreading her "Melissa is a villian" message.
I have spoken with our group's mother hen and let her know what has happened. Joan is a new member and has not met mother hen yet. I let mother hen know that I will be "working on remodeling my kitchen" for the next couple of weeks so I will not be available for Joan to make a scene like she promised to do in her last email.
Joan's last email was all about how many problem I had. I told her to go work on her mommy issues somewhere else. That made her head explode. She promised to let me know what she thinks of me when she sees me next.:tongue_smilie: So now she believes she has the last word and she ended the relationship. If I am correct and she is a psychopath, she will grow bored without an arguement and move on. I have sent up her email to go to my junk folder from now on.
Hopefully, this is the end for the Nutso Joan story.
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I think it is very odd that you are posting, asking about whether we think this woman is a healthy friend or not!! Wow. I wouldn't have ever let it get anywhere near as far as you did. I don't let my children sleep over at houses where I don't know the family VERY VERY well, and am honestly appalled at your lack of boundaries and the choices you have made here. Just...wow. I am more shocked by you ASKING than I am about the woman's behavior.
I did not ask about having this woman as a friend, I asked if setting boundaries and having this child come to my house is doable. I had no intentions of letting this woman around me or my kids.
I grew up in a dysfuntional household and seeing a normal family at friends' houses help me realize there was another way of existing. But my parents were not intertwined into my life like Joan is intertwined her her kids' life. (As a poster pointed out.) So having the kid around is not acceptable.
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Wow, when has there ever been universal agreement on any subject in the Hive? I have been here for over 10 years and I have always been surprised by the different viewpoints people can have in any situation, even if I did not agree with the poster. On this there is just one viewpoint, RUN.
She sent me another email where she completely rewrote what happen with her as the hero and me as the villian. It is clear she intends to use my desire to find friends for my dd to play her reindeer games.
Writing this has helped me clarify things and helped me explain to my daughter why I won't allow this friendship to continue. She cried but said she understood.
Reading the replies, it occured to me exactly how dangerous this woman can be. (I generally try to think the best of people.) What if she made up stuff about me while her daughter was at my house and called the police? I have decided that I can not even allow this child in my house.
I can not control who attends the park gatherings. I believe if I leave when she comes, she will wear out her welcome with the others quickly.
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It is hard to find teen homeschool girls in our area. My 12 yo dd meet another girl and they get along so well. The problem is the mother, let's call her Joan.
When I first met her, Joan admitted she usually pisses off people in any group she joins. She asked one mom, Lisa, in our group why she spent money to buy a house in a ghetto then several weeks later told me she gets a bad vibe from Lisa and thinks she does not like her. :confused: Another mom, Beth, was 9 months pregnant and she admitted to me that she was saying things to aggrevated Beth.:glare:
Joan does not like her husband but she likes the fact he jumps when she says jump. She told me that her dd even asked her why did she marry her father? She would rather her husband move out and they date once in a while and her kids live with her forever.
She plans on moving to college with her oldest even though her husband's job is not very marketable. (He works for her family.) She is a nurse practionner and does home visits so I guess she could make a living.
During our last get together, she went OCD about how I should send my oldest to public high school next year. (Oldest will be in 9th grade.) Her oldest is in high school and doing so wonderful. My oldest would be a square peg trying to fit in a round hole in public schoool so high school is not an option. She would not let it go. She did stop short of telling me I was a control freak.
When I first met her, she was telling me about how she grew up around money since her family owned a business in town. Last week she told me how she ran away as a young teen and grew up in a group home. She says that someday she will kill her mother. I am starting to think she was trying out stories to see how I would respond.
I suggested meeting at the beach on Thursday and she came back that she wanted to go to the pool on Tuesday and the beach on Thursday. I am an introvet and I like being at home but I know my kids need to get out so I agreed. (Her pushiness increases as the story goes on.)
Here is what happened at the pool:
-She wants to start skipping the group park time and just do things alone. (Trying to isolate us?)
-She has a tree nut allergy. I told her I can not tolerate dairy, she told me that eating a stuff crust pizza would let me get over that.:001_huh:
-A proposed sleep over on Friday for my youngest at her house turned into youngest sleeping over Friday night and both youngest and oldest sleeping over Saturday night. (Oldest had a try out on Saturday so she could not sleep over Friday.) She wanted my youngest from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon.
The kicker came when she laughed in my face about giving a food challenge to my youngest. My oldest has a physical and psychological reaction to red dye so I do not bring any red dye into my house. My youngest thinks red dye is gross since it is a by product of coal processing.
The week before the pool trip, Joan made cupcakes. My youngest asked if they had red dye and Joan told her no. As Joan is telling me the story, laughing the whole time, she wanted to prove that red dye had no affect and she even said that she gave my youngest three, saying, "Here, I will let you have these." I asked if she knew they had red dye before hand and she gleefully said yes. (She is the hero, I am the villian for restricting her diet.)
I wanted some time to digest all that happened and to have time to talk to my husband about it. So I send an email that neither girls could come for a sleep over. Plus, my weekend did fill up fast since a friend I have been trying to get together with had emailed and could either get together on Friday or two week from Friday to plan out her giving my kids Spanish lesson. Our kids adore one another and had not seen each other in a couple weeks and wanted to go play. Then my husband also wanted to take the boat out on Sunday. (Family outranks friends.)
Email flew back and forth and she got pushy and I pushed back. She was sorry for going OCD about public school but she did not see the harm in giving my youngest a food challenge since she knew it was safe and she proved it. And the reason she told me to eat a stuff crust pizza is that she was gently trying to tell me to" pull the stick out of my ass and calm down".
I told her I did not trust her and my dd would not be going over to her house alone or anywhere without me present. She still wants to do things just our two families but I am not sure it would be pleasant. I am adverse to confrontation due to my childhood (alcoholism and narcissism) and keeping boundaries is hard work for me. I do not think she sees me as a person with real feelings and I do not want to spend my summer using all my energies keeping her in line.
If it were not for Joan's daughter, I would just sever all contact. Is it possible to allow their friendship without making myself miserable? What say the hive mind?
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I would go to a pediatric hospital and get a second opinon. I was told my daughter had a hearing loss due to a problem with the bones in her middle ear. I went to Children's for a second opinion. They had better equipment that was passive in diagnosis. Her ears were fine.:glare: She did have a great deal of wax that was impacted. We cleaered the wax and she was fine. I continue to have to clear her ears once a month.
My other daughter had sleep/snoring issues. Getting the tonsils/adnoids out was the best thing we did. She slept better, was happier and healthier. Again, we took her to pediatric specialist for evaluation.
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Never in a million years would one of our masters do that. They are so good at not letting things get out of control.
They run a day camp in the summer while we have class. They will separate kids acting up, put an offender "on the wall" by himself or call a parent. They never even raise their voices.
Yay! The hive is back
in General Education Discussion Board
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I am so glad the forum is back up.
It is amazing how such a small storm caused so much damage. Over 1 million people lost power, 5 people were killed, DC has declared a state of emergency and some people will not have power restored for a week.
My prayers go out to anyone affected by this storm.