We started HS'ing this year and so my 5th grade ds has had most of his writing instruction in ps. He has been using CW Homer and Harvey's grammar and not so much grammar in ps. Here is one of his earlier rewrites: (Week 8)
Parable of the Prodigal Son
There was a man who had two sons. The younger son asked his father for his share of the money that he was going to inherit. The father divided his money between his two sons equally. After receiving the money the younger son set off to a far country. There he spent all his money living like royalty.
When all his money was gone a huge hunger came to the land. He went to work for a citizen of the land because he was desparate for food. The citizen then sent him into the fields to feed his pigs. The son was so hungry that he would have gladly filled his belly with the food the pigs ate.
When the son came to his senses he made plans to go back to his father because he realized that his father’s hired servants had more food then he did. He believed that he was no longer worthy to be his father’s son and maybe he could be hired as a servant. And no sooner than he had made the plans to leave, he was off.
When he was still a far ways off, his father saw him and ran to kiss him out of the love that he had returned. Before the son could tell his father that he was no longer worthy to be his son, the father instructed his servants to get ready for a big party to celebrate the return of his son.
The elder son, hearing the party, asked what was going on. The servant replied, “Your brother has returned and was thrown a party.†The father saw the elder son and invited him in. The elder son did not enter and asked, "Why would you not throw me a party, for I have worked for you all my life and never complained, but my brother has returned after wasting all his money and you throw him a party." The father replied, "My son was lost and is found, he was dead and now alive. Come and make merry for he has returned."
He edited it, no re-writing, and he still missed quite a few commas! This thread will help me also, as I am not really sure where he is at...
Katie