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ThatHomeschoolDad

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Posts posted by ThatHomeschoolDad

  1. Hi guys.

     

    Tom in NJ.  I've HSd DD13 since 1st, DX 1/09 with ocular melanoma (yes, eye cancer - genetic chance = 6:1million), went Stage IV in 2/11, but have kept going throughout.

     

    DD has done school in my hospital room, although those instances have been far and few between, and during one interesting period three years ago at home when I was post-abdominal surgery and on pain meds -- she'd do a few math problems and then say "DAD!"  To which I'd kinda jump awake with "ok, so whadjado for number.....4?"  Good times.

     

    DW is a public middle school band director with excellent benes and a hugely supportive colleagues.  With my oncology social workers, and DD's child life specialist, we have a nice net, plus I love my medical team at Thomas Jefferson in Philly.

     

    While I don't wish cancer, esp Stage IV, on anyone, I can't say I'm ungrateful for the experiences thus far.

  2. The ideal would be SWB's first paragraph of WTM...the one that ends "this book is for the rest of us.". That's the best definition we've seen.

     

    Edit -- found my copy!  I knew I copied it down years ago, thinking it would make a good bumper sticker (with teeny words)...OK, maybe a tshirt.  Wall plaque?

     

     

    If you’re fortunate, you live near and elementary school filled with excellent teachers who are dedicated to developing your child’s skills in reading, writing, arithmetic, history, and science.  These teachers have small classes - no more than ten students - and can give each student plenty of attention.  The elementary school sits next to a  middle school that is safe (no drugs, guns, knives).  This school also has small classes; the teachers train their students in logic, critical thinking, and advanced writing.  Plenty of one-on-one instruction is offered, especially in writing.  And in the distance (not too far away) is a high school that will take older students through world history, the classics of literature, the techniques of advanced writing, high-level mathematics, and science, debate, art history, and music appreciation (not to mention vocational and technical training, resume preparation, and job-hunting skills)

    This book is for the rest of us.

     

     

    Thanks, Dr. B.  This says it all.

  3. This is beautiful. I can really relate. 

     

    I did not grow up as a hug or kisser, except when greeting my grandparents. Then four years ago, my young daughter needed spine surgery. Our suffering, hers physically and ours emotionally, and the help and kindness we got during that time changed me as a human being. I became grateful for so many little things and people became infinitely precious to me. I hugged and kissed my daughter's surgeon, his secretary, his assistant, and still do when I have the chance, though it's probably against the rules. Somehow after that experience I could see people's humanity, joys and sorrows, like I never did before and it makes me love them. So now I hug and kiss lots of people. It's pretty easy to tell if people aren't open to that and that's fine, but if they are, I embrace them and in my heart wish them all good things.

     

    Sorry if this sounds goofy.

     

     

     

    It makes perfect sense.

     

    There's a whole movement/school of thought out there that touch is missing from medicine, and is more therapeutic than the average old-school doc would believe.  That's why therapy dogs are so awesome.  I had a visit from one in my room last week and those few minutes were super.  That's why hospitals are getting massage sessions, rekki, and that kind of thing.  I don't buy healing touch as healing what exactly ails you, as in vanishing cancer cells, but I totally buy healing touch to enormously help that non-physical component, whether you want to call it psychological, emotional, etc.

     

    Docs don't hug the same way, and I suspect it's a professional wall thing, which I appreciate, but some docs do hug, so it depends.  Besides, it's RNs and social workers who really run the world, and let MDs think they do.  :thumbup1:

     

  4. No radiator heat, but that is exactly what it sounds like.

     

    There's no way the pipes have burst...  It's all exposed, so we'd be able to see it.  I guess it's possible one of the pipes in the yard burst?  But then I don't know how it would make that noise or why or why we'd even hear it.  Do buried pipes burst in the cold like this?  I thought that was only exposed pipes.

     

    They are supposedly working on the water somewhere in the hood this week.  They're supposed to turn ours off tomorrow for several hours.

     

     

    Working on the town water -- might introduce air into the lines, so it could be related.  Maybe a call to public works to confirm.

     

  5. I'm not sure that it's always gender-specific, given the wide variation in the "family crucible" in which any given set of sibs grows up.

     

    I'm estranged from my sister (2 years my junior), and we were not close at all growing up, especially starting in adolescence.  But then, ours was an emotionally abusive house, and I'm the one who escaped, as it were.  She was psychologically torpedoed, and still lives, jobless, with my mother.

     

    My cousins (1 boy, 2 girls, about ten years behind me), OTOH are quite close as a family with their mom (my aunt), and now that the next generation is having kids, they seem to be building a supportive clan around the new grandma.

     

    It depends.

  6. Ahhhh! The air kiss! Never had to do it until I met my MIL 30 years ago. I was 19 and never got over the mechanics. Wait....like touch cheeks and kiss into the air in front of the ear so it only sounds like but is not a kiss? What tribal thing is this? Did we Anglocize a Polynesian bump of warrior cheek tatoos, or figure old-lady powder is less toxic than old-lady lipstick in terms of cootie transfer?

     

    Though quite continental, you know.

  7. Please.

     

    Don't wait.

     

    I hear it all the time and it's never a good idea.

     

    I think my oncology social worker said it best....

     

    If it's mentionable, then it's manageable.

     

    Talk now, talk often, there are endless resources to help, like Gilda's Club, or simply ask at a cancer center. Everything you are facing has been done by other people, so there are great things to learn.

     

    Edit. I should mention that those of us with liver tumors tend not to look very sick.until near the end. Some cancers are like that.

  8. Varies quite a bit. With DD / DW, big hugs, with my mom, not so much, never have, mostly on her part. Friends, varies, and frankly has become more earnest, and really meanful to me as I live with cancer. Hugs from another survivor, from a fav nurse? Those are gold-plated. SIL hugs have evolved from formal to meaningful, as we've grown and worked through our respective stuff.

  9. It's relative. Millions of happy kids grow up in, say, Manhattan, where you GO to a park or outdoor space. Millions more are happy on farms and ranches. I doubt it's about size, but about maintaining access, even if that has to ba a scheduled time, like "let's all go to the park!"

     

    Our yard 150x50 lot seems small to me, but huge to DW, who had a 12x12 piece of grass is Philly.

  10. I only get it with my last name, but I've been spelling and pronouncing it for people forever, so...meh. DW was happy to switch to my old Middle English name from her Polish name because she saved several letters, including a silent "J."

     

    Someone like George Carlin had a bit on always spelling your name "S.M.I.T.H" when asked, but then say "but they're all silent."

  11. I read that as "Elly-annah" shorter on the first syllable, with a second stress on the a. Nicely euro-ish. But short version to me would be Eli, one l, not 2, which is cool, but might look like a boys name. I still kile Eli.

     

    Had a student named Chantal years ago and she was called Cha with a soft ch "sha."

  12. Yes.  I really wish people would realize that atheists are not in any sort of group.  Sometimes atheists will talk to each other, but atheism isn't some sort of religion where we are all on the same page about stuff and can refer to a book.  Atheists are like rainbows...various colors and wavelengths...(with unicorns and flowers.....gosh that sounds goofy....LOL).

     

     

    Shhh.  ALL people outside your own group must be "in a group."  I mean look at the choices.  The Gay Agenda, the Femi-nazis, New York Liberals, Muslim Extremists, Gun Nuts, The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.  Isn't that why Sikh gas station guys in my area put american flags on their cars post 9/11, because they're in the brown skin turban club, dude, which is soooo totally terrorist.

     

    It's The Breakfast Club IRL.

  13. There are whole online forums about building with crates and pallets. Seems furniture companies get good pallets, and bigger. Pulling nails from crates can be as picky, if you're just after the slats, or not so, if the whole thing is to become a wall.

     

    Either way, sand and paint, and shipping wood might be splintery, but even there, you cover with something else...like pipe insulation.

  14. Never used it, but I did work for Huntington before going freelance. The two companies might be rad. different, so this is with a big grain of salt...

     

    Turnover at Huntington was huge, and pay was a fraction of what the parents were charged. Kids mill through the process and trudge through the next worksheet in the pre-planned track. Parents seemed clueless, and dropped kids off like dropping a car off for an oil change. Yuck.

     

    Maybe Sylvan is different, but after my stint, I don't trust the ads of any storefront tutoring business.

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