But we weren't discussing gay marriage in this thread, were we? You asked why Christians were more vocal about homosexuality in the media than about other sins, and I explained my perspective on why that might be-- because there is currently a cultural debate on that topic, with those in the media actively pushing for one side of the debate, which obviously draws a reaction from the other side. I wasn't addressing the topic of gay marriage. Erica Erica

No, lol, I'm not sure why that question keeps coming up, about one sin being worse than another. I think that may be a misunderstanding that people find hard to shake. Several people including myself have reiterated the fact that no sin is more or less sinful than any other. That means lying is not more sinful than adultery. Adultery is not more sinful than stealing. Etc. That goes for any sin, in any combination. I can't say it more clearly than that. I don't appreciate seeing pre-marital sex in entertainment. I think it's wrong. Just as homosexuality is wrong. However, what I tried to communicate in my previous post is that there is more buzz right now, at this point in American culture, over homosexuality, because for the first time, it is being promoted for *approval* (yes, approval, and not mere acceptance) through entertainment and other arenas. Probably 50 years ago, there was a similar battle over the promotion of pre-marital sex as right and good. Those who sought to promote pre-marital sex in entertainment seem to have won that battle, because now it is routinely accepted as beautiful, loving, and good in our society, and portrayed as such in the media. I don't think that's a good thing. Now the same discussion is taking place over homosexuality. That is why I think you get more of a reaction from Christians regarding that topic right now. Erica

Well, I can answer that question fairly easily-- while homosexuality is no worse a sin before God than the other sins you mentioned, those others are not currently being heavily pushed for acceptance in today's society, and presented as good and right and honorable. The entertainment industry is very much part of a political agenda for full acceptance of homosexuality. People are free to pursue whatever lifestyle they wish in this country, but that is not enough for many in America today. People want to do whatever they wish, and also have everyone else's blessing upon it as well. It's part of the push toward relativism, where the only thing that is truly wrong, is believing that anything is wrong. Everything else is fine. The vast majority of Christians do nothing to stop homosexuality, or persecute homosexuals in any way-- what they are reacting against is the cultural pressure for them to accept and approve what the Bible teaches to be a sinful practice. The reaction is not because they think it is worse than other sins, but because this one is currently being pushed aggressively for the approval of all, and because of what God's Word states, they cannot give the approval that is being sought. Erica

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who are planning to have their child start algebra 1 in 8th grade. What did you use for 7th grade? I am considering Rod and Staff 8, or Teaching Textbooks, but I'm open to other ideas as well. Erica

I've read this thread with interest, and I'm glad it's gone on civilly for this long! My question to Phred, Jenny, and others who define morality as "not harming others," due to the survival of humankind.... some of you have said that you have *chosen* this framework, because it makes sense to you. So do you feel that you are able to apply this framework that you've chosen to other people? Or are they equally free to choose a different one (i.e. one that does harm)? If you follow that thinking to its logical end, doesn't that mean that you can't really say whether anything anyone does is actually *wrong*? I.e., can you look at a child molester or a murderer and say that person's actions are truly morally wrong? What if he hasn't chosen the same framework that you have? What if his framework is, "I don't care about the wellbeing of mankind. I'm going to live my life as I want to, and take as much pleasure as I can, without thought for harming others." Without an outside authority such as God, who is anyone to say that your chosen framework is the correct one, by which he can judge others' actions? If you've chosen yours simply because it made sense to you, isn't it acceptable for someone else to choose something different (even something that *does* harm), simply because it makes sense to them? This sort of issue is why I've always been perplexed by the thinking of people who reject the idea of moral absolutes.. because I personally wouldn't feel comfortable deciding *myself* what is right or wrong, based on my own personal opinions, and applying it to anyone other than myself. This is something I have been wondering about for quite awhile, so I hope someone will answer! :bigear: Erica

I voted yes-- but that could be intepreted many different ways. The reason I voted "yes," is because I believe, apart from God, there can be no absolutes, and therefore nothing considered "moral," or "immoral." Things are right or wrong because God made them so. Many people have said that what they consider moral is "not hurting anyone." But why should that be the definition? What if harming someone is the best way to get what you want? Apart from God and His law, who is to say that it is wrong for me to harm someone else, if it brings me gain? Why is that "immoral"? Who is that person to judge me, just because he has decided it's wrong for me to harm others? Of course, I believe that it is wrong to do so, but *because* God who created the world and all of us has made it that way. And personally, I believe that the reason why almost all of us, regardless of belief, agree that harming others intentionally is wrong, is because we are all made by God who has given us that perspective, whatever else of His revelation we choose to disavow. The point is, logically speaking, apart from God no judgments can be made at all about right or wrong-- it's all just subjective, human opinion, which can't be applied to anyone but oneself. Erica

Thank you, everyone, for your comments and insights. I did read The Gift and Protecting the Gift when they first were released, and the perspective I gained from reading them is what has led me to take these sorts of gut feelings very seriously. I think I will reread Protecting the Gift, to refresh myself on this issues. I wanted to also offer my thanks and my appreciation to those who were willing to offer their own personal experiences in this area. My heart goes out to all of you, and I really appreciate your willingness to share, to try to help others avoid similar situations. I am planning to talk to the head of the gym asap. Depending on how that goes, I may or may not allow my dc to finish up the next two weeks. If I do, I certainly will watch my dd like a hawk, and also have another general "touching" talk with her, either way. I'm going to check into other local options over the summer, and do my best to find another class for my dc. Hopefully something new has opened up since I last looked. And who knows, maybe this guy won't be at the gym in the fall anyway. Anyway, thank you again. You guys have so much wisdom to share. It's a tough situation, and it's been very helpful reading your thoughts and comments. Thank you! Erica

Of course, I will do whatever I need to, to protect my children, and that is the most important thing. It's just that I think I was hoping everyone would say I may be overrreacting, and that it would be okay to continue on with the class, as long as I carefully supervise. Not that it matters much in the big picture, but just to flesh out the dilemma a bit: my two sons are also in this program, and after trying many sports, we've finally found a physical activity that all three of my children really love. All three kids count the days until the next class, and are stronger and more flexible than they've ever been. Even my oldest, who has never met a physical activity he doesn't strongly dislike, loves the class, and has lost several pounds and gained a lot of confidence as a result of this activity. And this location/class is the only one we can afford in the area, because it's offered for homeschoolers and heavily discounted. We've been attending for three months. We only have two sessions left, then we'll be done with the class until September. What I am trying to decide is whether I should just ride it out till then, watching closely all the time, and see if that guy is still there in the fall, before making a final decision. Of course, the top priority is my children's safety and well-being, and I wouldn't compromise that for anything. It's just that I feel I have to be fairly sure that there is a real problem here, because all three children would be giving up a lot, if it's just a feeling on my part, kwim? But I agree with all you've said. Dropping the class would be the most cautious course of action. I just have to weigh all the factors and see if it truly is necessary to take that course at this time. Thank you! Erica

Have you ever had an acquaintance whom you felt was just overly familiar with your child? My 5 yod participates in a weekly activity, and there is something about her male instructor and the way he interacts with dd that makes me uncomfortable. I am trying to think of why, exactly, and here are a couple of examples: 1. He compliments her on her appearance, frequently. He is always calling her "girlfriend," or "cutie pie", things like that. I haven't heard him refer to the other girls that way. He said to me once, "Can you please get her not to be so darned cute next time? It's very... distracting." I found that a bit odd. 2. Though he is working with a group of about 10 girls at a time, he focuses his attention strongly on my dd. He is always picking her up and helping her with the activities. I can always tell, even when I can't see them through the window (parents wait outside but can watch through), when he is talking to my dd and not to another girl, because of his very affectionate tone, and compliments. 3. This week, she was doing a back bend, and I saw him tickle dd on the belly where her shirt rode up. Then he glanced up at the window, as if to see if I were watching, and when we made eye contact, he looked embarrassed and pulled his hands away. This is when the uncomfortable feeling I have reached the point of making me feel sick to my stomach. Of course, he could just be a friendly guy who genuinely is fond of my dd, and is just a bit awkward socially. And my dd really likes him, and doesn't not feel at all uncomfortable around him. In fact, she's said he'sher favorite teacher. But I am also a big believer in following your gut, and my gut seems to be pretty disturbed by the dynamic here. If you had these uncomfortable feelings about someone with whom your child interacts, would you continue on as long as you could supervise? Or would you remove your child from the activity? Erica

11 yos= Bert, 7 yos= Ernie. I remember a couple of years ago when I first told my oldest that he and his brother reminded me of Bert and Ernie, he said, "I guess I would be Bert, then, huh?" In a very deadpan Bert sort of way. LOL My 5 yod is most like Eloise.

Hi Amy! Although I have several friends who use cyber charter schools, and have been tempted by the lure of all the free stuff myself, I have a few reasons why I would not choose that option. The primary one is what you mentioned: the loss of freedom to choose how to homeschool. Though I've heard that PA Cyber Charter allows the most freedom of the options here in PA, there's no getting around the fact that you are committing to a pre-made curriculum. Your science is Calvert science, your grammar Calvert grammar, your history, Calvert history. You can't follow your children's interests, or local opportunities that arise to study different subjects, to the degree that you could otherwise. It limits the degree to which a student can participate in outside classes and co-ops, too, because of the course-load that is already set in stone at home. My rising 7th grader will have his science, French, literature, and art classes next year at our local co-op. This will take a large burden off of me, allow him classroom experience, and give him the chance to work more independently. There will be large amounts of homework-- and he wouldn't be able to do that if he were in a cyber charter school learning those subjects. You also largely give up the opportunity to learn as a family. One of the benefits of homeschooling for me is allowing my kids to learn together, and to learn with them. That means we stay in the same time period of history together, and in the same general area of science together (with each one doing appropriate level work in that area.) You can't do that as well when one or more of your children has to study pre-assigned topics. Another factor for my family is that I want to give my children a biblically based, God-centered education. This would be more difficult for me if I were to use all completely secular materials. I don't use all Christian materials, but it is nice to be able to use materials with that viewpoint for some subjects at least. And since we are all learning together, I can integrate our family's beliefs into our learning in a way that I couldn't if one of my children were working largely independently on his own subjects. There are other reasons too, but these are my primary ones. Honestly, I think a big draw is all the FREE STUFF, and though our family could certainly use that savings, I wouldn't feel right deciding on a charter school for that reason. It doesn't feel right to me. I wonder how many families would choose the cyber school route if it were not free? Anyway, just some things that I've thought about. Hopefully this helps in some way. Erica

Just bumping this up one last time, because my update above got buried very quickly, and I wanted to make sure that everyone knew how much I appreciate their advice and kind words. Thank you all again! Erica

Thank you all for the kind words and wise advice. You all provided some very thought-provoking viewpoints here, and have given me lots to consider. I didn't go into much detail about the background, etc., and still I feel that some of you especially were able to read between the lines and offer some very helpful insights. I truly appreciated all the hugs and warm wishes, as well. As some of you picked up on, the tone and persistence of this woman (the mother of my half-sister), does worry me. I listened to two of her messages on my mom's answering machine. She sounds like a pretty "rough" woman. Even though it's been only a few weeks since she first called, there is already a tone of impatience and attempts to make me feel guilty (i.e. "My daughter can't imagine why Erica hasn't called her yet. She's very disappointed.") The situation would feel much different to me if she came across more like a understanding, loving mom making a heartfelt request on behalf of her daughter. So there are red flags to consider. At the same time, I am a Christian, and as such I do have a strong desire to share not only kindness, but even more so God's love, with anyone I can. And obviously this is a young girl who hasn't had the happiest upbringing, and maybe I could help her in some way. As someone said here, maybe God is bringing her into my life for a reason. So I am considering contacting her-- and I agree with those of you who said that email would be a good way to start. I appreciated all of your input so much. Thank you! Erica

Hello everyone! I have cut way back on my computer time, but I'm stepping out here for a moment because I have a situation going on and could use some objective advice on what my moral obligation is here. You all are the best crowd I know for getting this kind of help, so here goes: Basically, a woman called my mom a few weeks ago, telling her that she had a "brief relationship" with my father 19 years ago, and now has an 18 year old daughter. My parents were already divorced and had been for years, at that time. This woman and my father ended their relationship before the baby was born, and neither she nor her daughter have had any contact with him since. I don't have any sort of relationship with my father, either. I only lived with him for the first five years of my life, and they are not good memories. I saw him a couple of times when I was a teen, and now I haven't had contact with him in 15 years. Let's just say that he's got major problems. So, this woman and her dd recently found out about me, and this 18 year old girl, my half-sister, apparently wants to meet me. Her mother gave my mom her email and phone number a few weeks ago, and since then she has left several messages with my mom, asking when I am going to contact her dd. I don't have a personal desire to contact her, for a number of reasons. But, my question is, do I have a moral obligation to contact her? What would you do? Erica

I'm making some progress on deciding on ds's math program for next year. I'm drawn toward Chalkdust Math, but I wondering if, to save money, it would be doable to just order the student book and the solutions book for next year. Is there some explanation written to the student in the student book, enough to refresh my memory at least, so that I can explain it to ds? I would plan to use the dvds starting with Algebra 1, but if I could save that extra $200 on the prealgebra dvds, that would be a great help to our budget. Has anyone attempted this? Erica

Thank you for the various suggestions you've offered here. Jann, your post was especially helpful. It didn't occur to me that I could easily use different programs for algebra, geometry, and calculus. My school used Saxon, as I mentioned in my post, and so they were all mixed together. Thanks for pointing out that those can be separate programs. My task for now is deciding which program to go with for Pre-algebra, Alg. 1, and Alg. 2. Does anyone have an opinion as to which program best prepares a student for the SAT? (other than Saxon :tongue_smilie:) While I appreciate programs that are more independent-minded, this level of math is one area where I could go along with teaching to the test a bit. Erica

I am trying to decide on a path for upper level math for my oldest ds. He'll be in 7th grade next year. He's used Singapore and Rod and Staff maths up until this year, when we dropped the Singapore and just used Rod and Staff 6, which he's currently finishing up. I'm trying to decide what to use next year, that will put him on track to begin Algebra 1 the following year (8th grade). Here's what I'm wondering: has anyone used one single math program from pre-algebra up through Calculus? I'm thinking that high school math would not be a good subject in which to do a lot of switching around. So it would be nice to find a program that ds could begin next year, and continue in through 12th grade. While I could teach pre-algebra and algebra 1 myself, beyond that the material will have to be self-teaching, so that is a consideration. On the other hand, I also want a program that will be as demanding as a public school math program would be. Also, Saxon is out for us. My h.s. used it, and it was the bane of my high school existence. :willy_nilly: Any suggestions that would fit the bill? Erica

I can't believe that some of my very favorite people have been asking about me!!! I am touched, really. Jill was right... though I am a registered user here, I've decided not to become a regular poster. I miss you all, though! I do stop in and read what's going on from time to time, and I plan to post on the curriculum board when I have a burning question, because there is no better place that I know of, to get input on homeschooling. But that's about as involved as I can get on the boards, for now. You've all made a huge impact on me as a person, and I will always remember the WTM board as a very influential, valuable resource to me during the years when my children were young, and I truly needed someone over 12 to chat with. I love you guys! Email me anytime! Love, Erica

Thank you for the suggestion. Ben and Me was one book I was considering. It does look like a good, fun read. I was hoping to avoid a book that centered around just one person, if possible. If I can't find another idea, I may go with this one, though. Thanks again! Erica

This is my first time on the new boards. While I have gained much from everyone here over the years, I've decided to cut way back on posting, especially on the General Board. I'll be happy if I stay "just visiting" for a good long time! :) I needed to ask this question, though, because I am stumped. I need a chapter book based in Philadelphia, during the time of the American Revolution for my 1-3 grade co-op class (which is focused on Philadelphia/American History). I'd like to read a bit each week, over the course of six weeks. I need an exciting, engaging book, because this is a wiggly group. Any suggestions? Erica