mykdsmomy
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Posts posted by mykdsmomy
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I've been in the position where my child dropped my hand and went to dart in front of traffic...my first instinct? Grab the child, hug them to death with one arm while spanking their butt with the other. I'll darn well spank when the potential is deadly for non-compliance.
I have done the same in the past BUT....I realized that I was doing it not because I wanted to get the point across that it was DANGEROUS....but because I was so scared of what "could" have happened that I took that fear out on my child by way of spanking.
I'm not saying this is what you or anyone else is doing but I thought I would point that out as food for thought.
I also understand what you're saying about painting all kinds of spanking with the abuse title.....but I must say, the longer I've been away from spanking, the more I realize that even an occasional swat is teaching that hitting is ok under certain circumstances. In my opinion, it should be clear from day one that hitting another person for ANY reason is wrong. That includes spanking.
I'm not trying to be argumentative at all. I'm also not trying to paint anyone who spanks as abusive. I'm stating where I've been and how I've come to believe what I believe now about spanking. A few years ago, I would have been in the "a little swat now and then isn't going to hurt anyone" but I've seen first hand what it CAN do to a person and since there are so many other alternatives to discipline, why not use them and just drop the spanking all together?
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No flames please, for what I believe and how I encourage one asking for help, particularly in a Christian context.
I say this as a fellow Christian; A Christian can make just as big of a case from the bible for NOT spanking as one can for spanking. It's not a "Christian" thing. It truly does boil down to interpretation. The New Testament is filled with Jesus' teaching and NOWHERE in it does Jesus teach us to "hit" our children. I just cannot fathom Him striking a child out of "love" and concern for that child's salvation.
Spanking is not a tool, it's a control issue. I've heard so many parents on here saying that they've "only" used spanking as a "last resort". It shouldn't even be on the radar. If you're using it as a last resort, it means you haven't found something that works. There are many Christian parenting books out there advocating alternative discipline measures.
I grew up with regular spankings. I am a VERY sensitive person and the spankings took their toll on me emotionally and physically. They wore me down. They didn't turn me into a cheerful obedient woman. They turned me into a scared, depressed, I'm not worth crap type of person. (I'm working through it now). I realize God loves me unconditionally. God's grace is bigger than any sin and my heart has joy now because of His grace.
We are our childrens' FIRST example of God's love. He entrusts their care and upbringing to us. He shows us grace so that we can show our children grace. Spanking teaches them that God's love is conditional, imo.
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Thanks everyone :) The tips and encouragement really help a lot! Peela, I actually do get excited about decluttering....I love purging because it feels like a fresh beginning. I just can't seem to stay organized or keep a system.
In the past I have worked one room at a time but by the time I get to the last room, I've accumulated things that didn't "fit" into the categories of items in any of the closets/drawers/spaces so I wind up with misfit items that have no home. They wind up going into a closet where they don't belong and the cycle starts all over again. This is why I need to be ruthless with the minimizing. I'm imagining all of the areas of my house that have shelves or drawers that started out as one purpose but then became a sort of catch all.
I love the idea of having someone come help but honestly there is no one right now able to do it. My dd's can help some but dd15's negativity sometimes just brings me down. She has seen my binge and purge tendencies (as far as organization) and she tends to get critical of my efforts instead of just helping :001_huh:
I really do appreciate all of the support here. :grouphug:
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I feel the need to post to this thread as I am a Christian and I firmly believe in the bible.
That said, I believe (as do many many Christians) that God does NOT call us to "spank" our children. (I could never imagine Jesus striking a child. EVER.)
I say this to you as a mother who did spank her children at one time. I regret it now. I have several conservative Christian friends who regret spanking their children when they were little. I also have friends who continue to do so and wonder why their children still aren't obeying them :confused:
I found this link and thought I would share it with you.
http://www.nospank.net/popcak.htm
The passages that have been used to support spanking can be used to support NOT spanking as well. Training a child is done through discipleship, love and boundaries. She will get there. She is 3. She is young and you are tired (understandably so). Grace is an amazing gift that God has given to us and we need to give it to our children as well.
:grouphug:
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Thank you :) I think the one room at a time is going to have to be the way to go. I was sort of doing that this summer but then got sick and everything was put on hold...then school started and well.....here we are ;)
I'm finding lately that making lists seems to help me out a lot. I tend to have a very difficult time staying on task...most of the time it's due to ds6 and his needs but I also get bored easy and wind up doing something different instead of finishing the task at hand.
I wish I could hire someone to help me but finances are tight. If I could, I would just rent the dumpster and throw out EVERYTHING. I want to convert our garage into an extra family room because our living space in our home is small. We have four bedrooms but the front room is long and narrow....For now, I just need to concentrate on simplifying the house and minimizing everything as best as I can.
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If there was a conclusive, incontestable source of ABSOLUTE truth on the topic - what a monumental relief that would be. The fact that there isn't grieves and unnerves me to the core.
/QUOTE]
You hit the nail on the head. Where are the double blind third party studies?
Why the sudden pertussis scare when there was no mention for YEARS of needing a booster? Pertussis has been around and affecting babies, children, adults, etc for years but Dr's have not been testing for it because if you've been vaxed against it, there's no reason to believe your horrific cough that has lasted for months is any more than bad bronchitis. The immunity of these vaccines wear off (not that they are 100% from the beginning anyway).
The amount of toxins being injected into our children to keep them "healthy" is insane.
Just as we live in a time where we need to be our own health advocates, we need to take the same proactive approach with meds/vaccines. Dr's spend very little time in med school learning about vaccines. They rely mostly on Pharma companies for their information.
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At the risk of sounding like the stereotypical mom sporting the button down shirt and mom jeans blowing the stray piece of hair out of her eyes out of frustration (as seen on any tv informercial), YES, I'M TIRED OF DOING THINGS THE OLD WAY!!!
I'm getting better and I've made some significant strides lately in the organizing dept but, I'm still falling into old patterns. I still can't seem to KEEP my laundry folded and put away. My bedroom is full of DH's stuff (guitars, tools, electrical stuff) that needs a home! I have curriculum that needs to get shipped back to K12, my kitchen is in need of some "deep cleaning" (mostly the fronts of the cabinets and a good old fashioned floor scrubbing....as Swiffering only goes so far)., The bathrooms need some extra help too. Nothing is ever organized. The drawers wind up filled with junk. My dining room/school room is as organized as a toy store on Xmas Eve and the cats and dog are driving me NUTS. (they track dirt in, the litter box grosses me out to no end and we have been having a heck of a time getting rid of their fleas!!!)
Our garage is out of commission at the moment because we had a skunk spray in there a while back and now basically need to throw everything away (lots of open boxes in there ...thanks kids :glare: )
So I can't box things up and put them in there as we need to get a huge dumpster to clean it out (and they are a few hundred dollars to rent :( )
So basically I am wanting to simplify my house to an extreme (except for DH's stuff because it's garage/fix the house type stuff). Any suggestions? Any BTDT? I can't do FlyLady because she overwhelms me :confused: Do I make lists? I want it all done TODAY and that's part of my problem. I would like to devise a plan here. Thanks in advance :bigear:
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:thumbup1: The Hep B vax was the first one I researched and realized it was ridiculously unnecessary in newborns!!!
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I would assume if it's a state college, it would follow the same laws as a public school (as far as exemptions). I'm not sure about private though.
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I don't have any good advice...I'm just glad to know I'm not alone. I feel like I'm on the lam with all the fines we have. I do good for a while then I wind up not realizing that a book or two found it's way under a couch cushion or behind a bed.....$48 later :ack2::leaving:
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My #1 fear? throwing up. Seriously. Yes I am a dork. I havent thrown up in like 10 years and I sometimes sit around worrying about what if I throw up? Like I am going to NY in December. I am excited to fly, but all that has been crossing my mind is what if I get sick on the plane and throw up? I have already looked into the best anti nausea meds out there....what is wrong with me? Puking is not that big of a deal!!
I am scared to death to stay home alone at night. We live out in the country, I hunt and can shoot a gun just fine, but I cannot stand to be here after dark alone. Hubby had to go out of town for work for a week last year and I slept during the day.
It's my #1 fear too!!! There is actually a name for it "Emetophobia".
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Throwing up
Earthquakes
Nuclear war
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More often, though, I feel like I've inadvertently said something completely inappropriate and nobody knows how to keep the conversation going after that so they all wander away thinking "who let THAT weirdo in here".
:smilielol5: I TOTALLY get that!
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Can I quote you on that?:001_smile:YES! I know exactly what you mean. Can I quote you on that? :) Do we ever get over wanting to be one of the cool kids?? LOL!!
I'm cool now!!! :blush::001_wub:
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I'm somewhat of an invisible poster, can I join here too? I just want to be one of the cool kids who gets their responses quoted in a following post ....I also kill threads......It's sort of like walking up to a group of friends and then they all stop talking and walk away :001_huh:
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Cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, putting away laundry, putting up the planet and stars glow in the dark stickers I bought for the boys room, exercising, prepping for school tomorrow, working on my blog, cleaning out a drawer, sweeping the living room floor, mopping, talking to my husband, hollering at my dd11 to clean out her cat's litter box, .....and the list goes on................
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I find this post rather ironic. People are making prejudgements about this woman's behavior based on the doctrine of her church.
I wasn't basing my opinion on her church doctrine but rather how OP described her. She also mentioned she didn't think this woman would be friends with her if she didn't join her church. That's what my opinion was based on :o
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Nah, don't want to give out my zip, but I have used a UCC church finder to find a church nearby. Maybe it will be a fit :)
I totally understand :) I found this website too...but it seems like there are a million of them out there.
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I was thinking that if you feel comfortable giving out your zip code, some of us (speaking for myself here) could ask our pastors/friends/etc for a recommended church in your area?
I believe there is a church finder type website too.....I just feel so bad that you can't seem to find somewhere that would be a good fit. PM me if you want and I can ask our pastor if he has any suggestions :)
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:grouphug: This is one of my biggest issues with church.
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It makes me sad that I don't think the mom or her family will become close friends with us if I don't join. Not that she won't be polite; she's a friendly lady, that's her nature. But I sense if we join I'd have a lot more friends, including her and her kids.
At the risk of sounding like a mom ;), But do you want to be friends with someone who has already placed conditions and judgment on you?
I can see where you're coming from, but it sounds like (from what you've described) that you're only in the "club" if you believe what they do. It seems like it could set you and your children up for hurt down the road when they call you out on something that they perceive as sinful?
(it happened to me :( )
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To be totally honest, it doesn't sound like a good fit for you. It seems pretty rigid. I agree with the pp about looking into a messianic temple. It would seem to be in line with what both you and your DH are trying to instill in your children.
I would also imagine it would be hard for you to fellowship with the other members of the congregation if they are as rigid as the pastor in regards to theology and parenting :(
Is there another basic Christian church in your area you could check out? We have a pretty big church that we attend that is bible believing but doesn't go into the rights and wrongs of how to parent and isn't fire and brimstone when it comes to God.
Good luck :grouphug:
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Can he focus, if he wants to?
This is actually a misconception about ADHD. Many children with ADHD can pay attention to things that are interesting to them (video games/tv shows/etc)
Ds6's psychiatrist made it very clear from the beginning that kiddos with ADHD can focus on certain things.
I do agree that it can be a sensory issue where he is feeling unregulated unless he is moving but it most certainly can also be ADHD.
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My ds6 has ADHD, (among other things) and ds10 has ADD. The one thing I would recommend are some sensory items to help him get through his day. One thing that has been helping ds10 is to sit on a therapy ball (yoga type ball) and sort of bounce and sway as he does his work.
He also seems to concentrate better when he's chewing gum.
Ds6 does well when he's in a cocoon made of blankets or if he's sitting in a laundry basket with a blanket. He likes the pressure.
These are things that help regulate my boys so they can actually accomplish their work (which is a feat in and of itself). Their little brains are going 90 miles an hour from the second they wake up, til they fall asleep. They often can't tune out external stimuli either so try out a few different scenarios. See if absolute silence (not even white noise) will work....then try adding in white noise, then maybe classical music. Experiment until you find what works best for him to help him concentrate. It's tough, I know. Good luck!!!
ETA: Ds6 is not on medication for the ADHD because they aggravate his rage. We had to pick the lesser of two evils when deciding what to treat...but we do give him fish oil and I see that is making a difference.
Becoming a minimalist due to messy/unorganized tendencies. Help?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I know I'm going to still have to cycle things in and out and my decluttering days will never be over, BUT, I think living as a minimalist while I work at keeping a bare minimum organized and clean is where I need to start.
That said, I need to go buy some supplies :rofl:
Any suggestions on "must haves" for cleaning? I have rags, a mop, bucket, vacuum, swiffer, scrub brush and various cleaners but I'm not sure what kind of cleaners do all of you use?
Also, for anyone who hasn't gotten sick of me yet, :tongue_smilie:, any advice on laundry from start to finish? I'm sick of wet towels on the bathroom floor getting mixed up with the dirty laundry. There isn't enough room in the bathroom for a hamper but it's right outside the door and yet the kids STILL have a hard time getting their clothes in the hamper before they get water on the floor :001_huh: