Thanks everyone.....I'm just tired. And scared out of my mind.

I know I've been MIA.....for quite some time. But..... Life is just rough. Really, really rough right now. I've lost my fight. I'm tired of struggling. I have 15 days before something really, REALLY big (bad) happens.....and the things I need to happen before then, aren't. Anyway......if you have a second for some good thoughts/prayers.....what have you, I'd really appreciate it.

I'm going to check for ILL. Their website basically says that they won't purchase books more than a year old.

A dear friend offered it to me....and my library has 1/2 the books. This is new territory for me, but I'm actually quite excited to do something a bit different with DD this year :)

Oh....this is perfect!! Thank you!!

I really like that idea. I might need to help her out a bit with options for the skills she wants to learn. I'm not sure she knows enough to even know what she wants to learn, ya know?

Okay....I've had time to sit down and make a chart with subjects and what has been offered to me. Those that made offers, thank you so much....again! I've contacted everyone, I think.....and I'm down to just a few things needed. WOW! What an awesome place this is.....I'm flabbergasted. So....I have a list of books that my library doesn't have (from SL core H) that I still need: Usborne Encyclopedia of World History The Iron Peacock Madeleine Takes Command In Search of Honor Betsy and the Emperor Only the Names Remain Year of Impossible Goodbyes Escape from Warsaw The Breadwinner A Murder for Her Majesty Escape Across the Wide Sea The Kidnapped Prince The Arrow Over the Door The Sherwood Ring A Heart Strangely Warmed Mary Jones and Her Bible I Am David Not necessary, but I'd still like to do Latin with both girls (they'd both be brand new), DD13 would like to do some sort of formal Home Ec type curriculum (yes, I know I can do this by just including her, but she wants something more structured), and maybe spelling with DD6, though I'm not sure that she's ready (she's still mainly reading cvc words).....but again, really not must haves.

I really worry about that. We are quite busy.....she also is dual enrolled for music. What if her assigned class time at the middle school was when she was supposed to be on the computer? I really want to avoid doing that if I can....and I think, with the offers I've gotten here I'll be able to do that :) You people rock!

When it is split up in lessons and the lessons are all inclusive, I don't have an issue. That's easy enough. I could even split up chapters by the weeks in the year, but I know she wouldn't be happy just reading all year. She needs things to do....worksheets, projects, hands on stuff, etc....THAT is where I start to struggle.

It's on my list to do today. I'm still concerned that it would need regular computer access for her, which, at this point, I cannot provide. That is probably our biggest issue with finding cheap/free things to use. Even on Craigslist, used towers are going for $100-$200.

That's good to know. We're below 133% poverty level as a family of 6 with no real end in sight, so I'd bet we don't make too much. I've never looked for any groups in my area, so there might be. That being said, I've got some offers on the table. I just need to finish sorting them out and figure out what's left to be filled in.

I probably need something a little more than that. I don't handle what my brain perceives as chaos well at all. Both mental and visual. I get overwhelmed, shut down and avoid. I wish I wasn't that way....really, but it's just something about myself I've learned that I have to deal with. Thanks :)

Yep :)

Obviously, I'd rather try to do this myself, but if it came down to enrolling her in the virtual academy, yes, we could go to the library. I have internet access at home and a computer....just not a computer that she could have for more than a few min a day, ya know? I don't think going to the library daily would be feasible for me with all the other things we have going on.

But would she need computer access on a regular basis?? All we have is k12 and Connections Academy. K12 won't tell you if they provide you with a computer until you enroll and Connections does not provide computers but expects you to have one.

Okay...bio - what do you do about labs?? She LOVES labs....I don't have the equipment or the budget for the equipment and supplies?? And we're back to me putting something together. I swear I've tried. I think it's my ADD....or anxiety....or both. I sit down to put something together and don't know what to do. We have K12, but have the computer issue (they won't tell me if they provide one until you enroll), and Connections Academy which does NOT provide a computer.

Sure.....though truly I don't know exactly what I'm looking for/wanting, which is why I didn't order right away when I should have. My 8th grader needs: Math (pre-algebra) Lit (I have no idea and have been so overwhelmed with this subject that I've avoided it since I pulled her out of PS in 4th grade - it's time) LA/Writing (she will finish Easy Grammar Plus mid-year & is a strong writer, but hasn't done anything formal with writing since I pulled her out of PS) Science (she'd like to do biology and did Earth Science this past year) History (she started American History (up to 1865) this last year - we didn't finish....I'll probably have her finish that and then I don't know) She'd like to do a Home-Ec type class. I haven't looked too far into it. Everything I'm finding for free seems to almost require online access and while we have internet and all, she doesn't have access to a computer unless I can come up with the cash to replace the tower in the school room (again, I need mine to work while she's doing her stuff). I feel like such a pain saying that I can't piece things together, but I really just don't "get" it. And, I'm kinda freaking out a bit that I'm supposed to be preparing her for HIGH SCHOOL *faint* and I haven't a clue what I'm doing. I'm feeling the pressure of time. I have 5yr to prepare her for college and I feel like I'm so far behind. I can't sit here and say "that's good enough" anymore. As far as my 1st grader.....we're just going to FIAR and I *think* we can get most of the books from the library (I looked a few months ago). We have ETC and we'll keep trudging along with that. The only thing left is math. We were using Horizons and CLE (we doubled up - she loves math), not because I love them, but just because it's what I knew. We skipped a lot in Horizons, because it was so repetitive and stuff she already knew. She finished the K books in 3-4 months. A friend sent me MM 1st and 2nd. I still need to look at it.....hoping that works for us. ......going to catch up on PMs :)

I have and will continue to do so. I have a hard time finding the time to just go browse the library for things, but in the few searches for specific texts I've done, I haven't had any luck :( Okay....I swear I must be the most dense person on the planet, but I just do not "get" how to piece things together. Without something telling me have child do ABC, and then do xyz with them on this day, my brain sees chaos and goes into overwhelmed mode, which means avoidance. Then, we don't do school, because I can't figure out what in the world I'm supposed to be doing. I know this is a *me* problem, but it is something I have to work with/around. Heading to read now :)

**waves** Hi....I'm still alive. Busy as ever and don't make it here very often anymore, but I'm alive. Anyway..... At the risk of sounding like a completely ungrateful snot....and yet again being the "needy one", I need help. We had intended to use our tax returns for curriculum. When they came through, I was still undecided on what I was going to get/do, so didn't purchase right away (mistake #1). Car repairs, past due bills, groceries, and dr/hospital bills came up and before we knew it, the money was spent. Not on frivolous things, but not on curriculum either. So, I humbly wrote a request to Book Samaritan. I stated specifics that we would love to have (things like specific math curriculum that we're already working in), but also stated that we would appreciate anything they could offer us (and we do/would). I listed general subjects for DD13 (I have nothing for her yet) and math for DD6 (we have her FIAR book) - as well as general supplies (pens, pencils, crayons, glue, etc). I got my package from them a few days ago. It contained ONE book. An Abeka lit book. I've sat here staring at it for days thinking "what am I going to do?". I have nothing but an Abeka lit book for my 8th grader. I really AM grateful, but how am I supposed to school an 8th grader with one book? Anyway, so.....I come to you to beg for ideas/help. I'm not really sure where to go from here. Are there other places like Book Samaritan? I'm really not good at piecing stuff together myself. My brain sees it as chaos and avoids. We end up not schooling when I try to do that. Especially at an 8th grade level. A friend mentioned Time4Learning. Anybody know anything about that? Not that I have a computer for her to use anyway. The tower we had for the kids is just too slow to process anything. It's virtually unusable. We were supposed to get a new (to us) one of those with tax returns too. I can't share mine with her, because I need it to work. How long do the back to school supply sales last? I won't get my next small paycheck until September, so I can't stock up on paper, pens, pencils, glue, crayons, markers, etc until then. I will have missed them, won't I? Okay....stepping away now, because I am very tired of always being the needy/poor board member.

It was the comp fees and/or the uniform that did us in. I was expecting the total for both to be about what ONE of them was. The comp/coach fees were $390 for the 9m season and the uniform was $350. Then, it was $88/month for tuition. Thankfully, there was going to only be one overnight competition, but still. We were replacing travel team softball with this, so I wasn't expecting cheap, but.....this was definitely more!

Thanks for all the advice....after a lot of discussion, we have determined that her dad will not pay his half regardless, so it was a moot point in the end. Sigh.

She did take a babysitting course through the local hospital this spring, so while she isn't CPR certified, she is trained to some degree. I totally agree with the "work" statement. She comments regularly about how she wishes she was 14 so she could get a job :) Lots of great advice, thank you! Her dad, well....oy. He's a piece of work. I'm quite certain he has the money (he has recently purchased a motorcycle, car, new fencing, gutted and remodeled his entire house, and is discussing purchasing a boat and/or camper and a truck to haul them, as well as taking his family on a vacation despite the fact that he hasn't paid any of his child support in 6 months, but I digress). At this point in time he's completely refusing to pay anything, so this may all be a moot point anyway. We don't currently have a home church and we are not involved in any co-ops or homeschool groups. We literally have NO social circle to tap into :( As far as working with the gym, well, that's a little complex. I coached at this gym for over 10yr (left 6yr ago when DD6 was born). I pulled my DD6 out of classes there when she was 4 and went to a competitor. It wasn't a matter of having an issue with the gym as much as the fact that, at the time, they didn't have what DD needed, however it did make things a little awkward. And truthfully, my DH works full time and is a full time student......I don't really have time to commit to them anyway. She is not a seasoned cheerleader :( However, you make a great point about the neighborhood! No, it's a very well established gym and program. As I said before, I coached there for a LONG time.....and my former BFF is also head of administrative side of the cheer program now. I chatted with her a little about the money, it's only because of my tie with her that I know this, but the lady that used to head up the cheer program left and it sounds like didn't really leave them much info. My friend had to do all the research regarding competition fees, etc in order to figure out what it would cost when divided up among the team members. Why they didn't do all that prior to tryouts, I really have no idea!

I know! I wish I had a bigger social circle. I really don't have one at all.

I thought about that....and we might try it, but I'm not sure how successful it would be. We live on a street with essentially no traffic.

We had no idea what the fees would be. They didn't reveal them until today. Try outs were in May, then they did a 1 month trial period before having a parent meeting where they revealed the costs and fees.