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bookfiend

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Posts posted by bookfiend

  1. So I think the difficulty with writing any of this as comedy is that there is a true lack of real awareness and understanding about what the homeschooling life encompasses. The reason comedy is funny is because we share a universal life experience. From that common understanding, the funny incident is understood because we all relate to how it differs from a normal context.

     

    You are faced with the challenge that homeschooling is not a universally understood life circumstance. (Consider how it is easy to make comedy from the experiences of marriage, raising children, work environments). This leaves you with the task of first educating how homeschooling normally functions which isn't a funny premise.

     

    I think this is a main reason why all of the "funny" attempts at portraying homeschooling turn into something that feels more like poking fun.

  2. Edited original post to ask-

     

    Should I do more? Should I ask (the person I gave the money to) about their efforts to get the money back to the person who lost it?

     

    Stay involved or forget about it?

     

    It sounds like you are suspicous that the librarian will keep the money. So I would contact her and inform her that you filed a police report of found goods. That should prompt her be honest in her handling of the money.

     

    If you still feel stongly, make a sign, go to the library and ask the library manager to post it.

  3. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

     

     

    I have walked this path also. I was blessed to experience was the amazing body of Christ in action as others lived my life for me so that I could temporarily live a different life that revolved around ministering to my Dad. It took a while to learn to relinquish real tasks.

     

     

    So here is a practical plan of action for you; take 30 minutes to:

    • Do a quick overview of your life and access your daily and weekly, high essential needs (let school rest for this short period)
    • Break them down into time components - what takes 30 minutes, what takes an hour?
    • Decide what can be accomplished by others (driving a child to classes, mowing the lawn, shop for groceries, cooking a meal)
    • The next time someone says - "just tell me what you need." or asks "how can I help you?" BELIEVE THEM AND TELL THEM AND LET THEM DO IT! It will help that you already have a list of delegatable tasks for the day in mind.

    One of the most amazing gifts was when a dear friend came and took our laundry to her home, returning it finished the next day. Neighbors took over some of my husband's tasks, like lawncare, as he was needed elsewhere also. Nothing was off-limits in our lives for that short time.

     

    There was also one sister-friend who eventually became my life manager as Dad's final days approached. She knew what the needs were, became a communicator/organizer to many who wanted to help but were not part of our daily circle. If you have someone like that in your life, allow them to bless you.

  4. Set aside some time during in the late afternoon or early evening to more consciously process your father's death. Do it in a very deliberate and structured way. For instance, set a timer for 15-20 minutes, consciously review the last days with him, fully feel the emotions, itemize your current, related worries and think through different approaches to dealing with each situation. When the timer goes off - tell yourself you with think about it some more tomorrow and then release all conscious processing.

     

    Also, when memories and emotions about your father naturally occur throughout the day - try not to avoid them. Even if it is a bad time to cry, just stand still and experience the pain - then release it until next time. Don't be afraid.

     

    FWIW - your experiences are very normal. I often woke confused in the night. It helped to have my husband repeat the timeline of events the last week of Dad's life. Your grief is unique and personal to you and your relationship with your Dad, moving through it is the best way. Know that normal memories of him will return.

  5. Yes, it is allowed. IMO - it is ethical. We have done the same with Marriott Rewards Card (many, many hotel points that gave us free lodging for this summer's vacation) and AMEX (who gave us $500 in rewards points which paid for 1/2 of Christmas last year). We also used to do this when we carried a credit balance and cards would offer 0% for a year if you switched. So while we worked at reducing our debt load to zero, it didn't cost us anything. Just be certain that when you cancel the account, you get a statement from them in writing that the whole account has been closed.

     

    The company is offering you an incentive to try their card. Take advantage!

  6. If he simply stopped referring, it could certainly make a difference. We have worked many jobs that he had a role in. OTOH, we do a nice business and have often been referred through a previous customer. BIL does not want either the friendship or business to suffer by telling James to go suck eggs. It is true he has no obligation to promote our business, but business for us often does mean business for him, so it's smart for him to refer us unless he has another builder he likes better or something like that. He does have a stake in it if he sends business our way; more than likely, he will get work as well. We routinely recommend him, but we don't have an exclusivity contract with him; if a homeowner wanted to use somebody else for the service he provides, they could.

     

     

     

    It's not exactly like that. He gets paid for work and we get paid for work, but since we're in sympatico businesses, we each benefit with more paid work if we refer to each other. The customer is aware because James is hired for his part in the job. Err...I know it's getting a little confusing because I'm not revealing the true details, but I'm hoping people can just make the correct leap in their own heads. It is normal for a person in his position to be paid commission for work he is doing with us when we're building a home. That part is totally normal and I have no issue with it. Where his request is getting weird to me is that he wants a commission for the tangentially or even totally unrelated work that comes our way, even if he does no actual legwork for that job. He feels that if he worked on a job with us for Bob Smith and then Bob Smith tells his sister-in-law to use Quill's Family Builders next year, that he(James) should still get a commission on the sister-in-law of Bob Smith, even if that sister-in-law does not work with James at all.

     

    So basically he is suggesting you should agree to the Amway model of building referrals? Silly. Someone needs to explain that referrals are not a pyramid scheme. Just you like are paid for the exact work you do. He is being compensated for the exact customer he brings you. In the above example, he would actually be stealing the sister-in-law's commission.

  7. My perspective is slightly different. I think the perfect funeral for an older child to attend is one of someone slightly distant in the family. It familiarizes them with the normal conclusion to life, opens great opportunity for discussion, doesn't leave them afraid of the unknown at a time when they might be truly mourning later for a close relative.

     

    I did take my children to the funeral of their great Uncle and also the funeral of an in-laws parent. So glad because 18 months later, it was the funeral of their Grandfather - and they understood and were at peace.

  8. When our microwave broke three months ago, I said. I don't think we really use the the microwave for much more than reheating coffee. Miss is about 20 times a day. It was my timer, my clock, my lunch reheater, my fast cup of tea, my veggie steamer, bread proofer, oatmeal maker, place where I quickly hid dirty pots.

     

    I'm so sorry I took you for granted microwave.

  9. I made books on Shutterfly for the first time last fall. Loved the process and the many easy design elements. It's very quick to click and drop pictures into a readymade book - or you can spend as much time as you like doing full page edits.

     

    One adaptation I am making for future books is leaving some pages and spaces blank for handwritten journal entries and pasting in memoriabilia (like ticket stubs).

     

    ETA - you don't need photoshop for Shutterfly. You can do many simple edits right in their program. Some things aren't readily apparent, watch their few little tutorials. I had a friend over for lunch and she showed me some quick tricks in about 15 minutes that saved me hours!

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