When you said he holds it together until he comes home, it really reminded me of when i first realized that i am on the spectrum aspergers, and ADHD but not diagnosed until i was an adult because i was always an honor roll AP student but always had trouble in social situations and anxiety as a result. but i was so good at hiding it via “masking” which is a typical behavior of some kids on the spectrum that they are able to mask their struggles out in the world but when i got home i would take out all my stress in my house with people who were “safe” to act out in. I Wish i had known that i was on the spectrum because it wouldve saved me a lot of struggles in feeling like i was just flawed but really i am just different

Fyi im not saying your son is a liar, im saying she is, and if anything i would call her and fire her and then make a call to the parents to let them know why and that there wasnt hard feelings however you thought it was best that you find a different babysitter. and when you babysit, when i did, it was always very clearly defined if i was supposed to take the kids out ot the house and if not then YOU STAY AT THE HOUSE. Its crazy that a teenager would even think they would get away with that or would take such a risk, like what if the car was hit by a drunk driver omg the unnecessary risk and entitlement in these teenagers makes my head spin today

I think this is the problem these days, im 33 and when i was a kid, if an adult said i did something, it didnt matter what i said as the child, because we all know that adults dont go and start shit with other kids parents for enjoyment. I see it all the time with my boyfriends kid, he is a pathological liar and it is like unreal to me how when a teacher emails saying he cut class or something or did something wrong, he asks the kid who always has some story where he is always the victim or not in the wrong. Every single time. Since when do parents question teachers because there kid tells a different story. No wonder kids dont respect Authority anymore because they seem to think that they can defy anyone, home, job, school its really sickening

Duh i almost forgot there are remote collars that are not for shock but they vibrate. You could put it on when he is outside for emergencies, if you trained him when it vibrates to ejther look to you for next command or to get his attention, and it couldnt hurt to get one of those gps trackers god forbid and i would also get one lf those collars that clearly has your number and can even put bad hearing etc

I would try and use things to create vibrations, like i would sometimes tap the floor with my shoe walking in a room as they tend to feel the vibrations, otherwise i lost my babygirl after a long battle in september and i miss her terribly, every dog should be able to live out their days and have an owner that loves them so much. and just fyi i have been involved in dog rescue for years and you would be amazed at how well dogs adjust or adapt, from dogs that lost their vision to dogs that lost a leg or back leg use… and deaf dogs adapt just as much. I think we sometimes almost project our feelings on them but i say when it comes to older dogs, i would think about what your dogs three favorite things to do are, whether its meal time or going outside to see the geese etc. when they are not able to do two of the three, i know that their quality of life is deteriorating but it sounds like your pup is happy and i would just enjoy all the time you have with them

Yea this sounds like me when i was that age, im 33 now; i was a very angry person and my parents were very emotionally neglectful altho i didnt know what was going on as a kid, i grew up with tons of mental health issues that led to self soothing with substances and literally at that point in my life, i did not understand the concept of personal responsibility. it took me getting sober and hitting rock bottom to realize that at the end of the day, even though my childhood was far from ideal, living from a place of its everyone elses fault and trying to validate my opinion allowed me to act rude entitled and selfish because i thought that it was my parents fault i was not happy. I am 33 and im sober now but it took a lot of radical honesty with myself and owning that i had so much anger i was holding onto and blame and shame but it wasnt getting me anywhere in life. if anything it kept me powerless to change things until i realized that at the end of the day, staying in that victim mentality was just keeping me stuck i the idea that i deserve to be rude and unkind because i went through xyz i think its unfortunate that as children that we go through difficult things, but i try to think tjat my parents ddi the best they could with what they had, and now its my job to figure out where i needed to grow and what i needed to learn to be more successful at coping with uncomfortable feelings The more you resist the more the issues tend to persist And a lot of people with narc parents end up either mirroring the behavior of the narc, because they learn that is how you get things you want, from watching the parent they also tend to be more concerned about power in situations instead of wanting approval i wouldnt answer her; it sounds like she was looking for someone to get into it with, because for some reason one of rhe ways they exert control when they feel they dont have it is by baiting other people by saying things they know are attempts at provoking the others but not in a way thats so obvious that you know for sure she is devaluing, discarding and baiting you to see your reaction or try to get eome narc “supply” which is why the stuff they do and say makes no sense to a person who doesnt use these tactics to get their needs met