[Updates 2023 (job hunt etc)]

I'm sorry - I know how tough this is. 

Hoping something comes through for you soon.

[Doctors are confusing sometimes]

24 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I'm very confused about why they won't treat your sarcoid unless it's in your heart.

It sounds as if they have had her on Prednisone, which is first line treatment. 

[Doctors are confusing sometimes]

36 minutes ago, popmom said:

Lawyers (((here))) don't "magic up provision that doesn't exist". It's just a way to be heard. It is far too easy for the government to wave you off without legal rep. So no one is advocating fraud here--just that you need someone to SHOUT above the noise of paper and red tape to get s&^% DONE  in a timely manner.

Clearly I don't have any idea how it all works there. I hope I didn't offend.

You didn't at all. Sorry if I sounded brusque. It's more irritation at little help is out there and the massive effort it takes to get what there is. 

It's just not a thing lawyers get into here for something like an illness. 

[Doctors are confusing sometimes]

Disability is hard to get here, unless you are fully treated and stable (ie your condition is unlikely to change). It's not a matter of lawyers. 

Also, lawyers can't magic up provision that doesn't exist.

Jobseeker with an illness exemption is possible, but dependent on many factors including spouse income and assets. It's not really enough to pay for therapies anyway. 

 

 

[The Covid Vax and Myocarditis]

A co-worker's son (whose account I trust) developed myocarditis after the Pfizer vax. 

He was in hospital for a day; is totally recovered.

My understanding is that there is a link, but that myocarditis after vax is less serious than after Covid.

[Things you've noticed about other countries/communities from movies/TV?]

It's always windy on the Shetland Islands and it's hard to get a phone signal. 

Also, very murdery.

[Doctors are confusing sometimes]

Has a hospital social worker been to see you?

If not, can dh call the social work department of the hospital you are in? He may need to call several times - they are understaffed. I found it difficult to get hold of a sw even in the ICU. 

It's worth persisting.

When someone comes to see them, you need to lay out the situation at home.

Don't sugarcoat it. Don't tell them your strengths - tell them the challenges you are going to face at home with the distance to medical care, the twins and their care, and the lack of full-time care for you to convalesce (if I remember properly, your DH has some health challenges himself?) Think of the worst days and use them as your baseline to describe a day at home.

They will discharge anyone who isn't actively dying because bed block is a major problem. But you don't want to be discharged without a proper plan going forward. You need a plan in place for your care before they send you to rehab.

If you are too weak to advocate for yourself, deputize someone else to do it for you.

Good luck. 

 

 

[So, why do you wear a bra?]

I'm just going to suggest again, that for really good reasons, including that people aren't always as they represent themselves to be online, and some people enjoy actively trolling and harassing, say, partners or ex-partners, people should investigate the ignore button and make good use of it. 

[12-year-old boy dies after being forced to run in 90 degree plus heat]

That's truly tragic, and having suffered a sadistic high school PE teacher myself, sadly not surprising.

The school does need to be sued and the teacher fired, at the very least. 

~

(We had an athletics carnival last week.

Those who planned it did not plan for shade.*

Multiple children ended up vomiting with heat and exertion. 

A teacher ended up with heat stress. 

Execs put an anonymous feedback sheet in the staffroom and were peeved that every single comment related to WH&S and the need to provide shade and cooling to students and staff taking part in an athletics event. 

My experience is that, no, people do not have common sense.

Multiple parents sent children without hats, sunscreen, or water. Teachers did not take action and cease the event when it was clear it was unsafe. 

*It is usually cooler than it was that day, but the higher temperature forecast was available at least two days before the event.)

~

That poor family. So utterly senseless.

 

[What is going on with schools and neurodivergents???]

2 minutes ago, katilac said:

Plus, a tremendous amount of effort goes into logistics that have aren't directly related to education. Classroom management, lunch schedules, moving hordes of children from one location to another . . . 

Yep.

Schools are massive ships with limited agility. 

I sort of find it interesting (as someone who sacrificed a lot to keep her autistic child out of the system) that we expect the system to be responsive. I think I always had low expectations of school. 

 

[What is going on with schools and neurodivergents???]

1 minute ago, Corraleno said:

a PS system that would rather write them off as stupid, lazy, and "not trying hard enough."  The system is so broken, it's heartbreaking.

Observing this up close makes me mind-boggled when I come here and everyone is rah-rah public school.

It's really a moral injury watching the way autistic children, in particular, are treated in schools. But also those with trauma, anxiety, ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and even physical disabilities.

But the main point of schools isn't to treat children holistically and as well as a good parent might.

The main goal of schools is 1. childcare and 2. moving cohorts of children through a curriculum. 

 

 

[What is going on with schools and neurodivergents???]

Also, I have cried a lot over my students.

It's often really sad watching the way they struggle in an environment that is not doing a good job of meeting their needs. 

So yeah, I get the wanting to cry. 

Sometimes my students cry too.

On Friday my kiddo cried when it was time for me to go home - I gave him a giant hug and then snuggled him down under his weighted blanket and settled him with his music. Plenty of us are in there trying to make up for some of the harder aspects of school life for these kids, and be a caring presence, and that includes teachers. 

[What is going on with schools and neurodivergents???]

Teacher to me, mother of an autistic daughter:

Look, it's not your fault, you don't know what you know. But here's the thing - you have to treat them like puppies. Train them and use rewards.

Me, the support person for an autistic student:

Gobsmacked silence

~

I don't know what's going on over there.

Here, I see three things.

One is a lack of special education knowledge.

Two is a lack of empathy with students, made worse by low teacher morale. 

And three is the mismatch between student needs and the resources needed to meet student needs (including time for teachers to research, adapt, and learn, and provision of in-classroom support).

Classroom teaching is a really difficult job. I wouldn't do it for a million dollars. I try not to judge the less salubrious things I see because I think teachers are asked to do the impossible.

But sometimes, I am just astounded at how children with extra needs are discussed and dealt with. 

~

Suspension is a last resort method in my state.

Nobody is formally punished for things like not bringing a pencil - although there is OFTEN verbal shaming. 

Idk.

Schools are not really very developmentally appropriate places - I think that's just magnified when a child has neurodivergent needs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Blended families issues]

It can be pretty normal to know a lot about other people. Friends, family...if you're a talker spending time with other talkers in close, trusting relationships, why wouldn't you?

(And in general, I don't think the 'she'll be right - not my business' mode serves a lot of us all that well - sometimes we need more openness - it would shine sunlight on a lot.)

But I would feel uncomfortable posting about my friends' business as opposed to mine.

 

 

 

[So, why do you wear a bra?]

I've never had negative feedback for breastfeeding a baby, but the toddlers got some side eye 

[S/O Chatting on the phone]

8 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I thought it was weird my mate kicked me out instead of inviting me to go along grocery shopping. I could have pushed the trolley! But hey, I'm the person who shows up unannounced so who am I to judge?

How does conversation happen? My mate says "Hey! Come in!" I go in, they apologise for wearing their old bathrobe and a beanie, which I think is weird because it's winter, they weren't expecting visitors and I don't care what they look like anyway. They tell me off for bringing food if I bought some and I tell them why I'm justified and they shouldn't complain, so they make me a cup of tea and complain about their last job interview or lack thereof. I boast about dd and tell them I watched the sci fi movie they recommended and either say I enjoyed it more than I expected or ask them why they like such a dreadful sexist movie and tell them the book was better. They make me some more tea, which I drink, because I'm probably going to refuse to eat their food later. They tell me not to be silly and I don't have to drink the tea if I don't want to, but I don't think that is true so I have a third cup so I can use that as an excuse not to eat their food later if I don't want to. They tell me about their plans for the garden and I ask why they even have plans for their garden when they don't like gardening. I tell them about my garden, which they also don't care about because they don't like gardening, but maybe they want me to bring them some silverbeet next time I come around, or some rosemary. I tell them the rainbow chard is definitely rainbow chard and not rhubarb and do they really think I've come here to poison them with rhubarb leaves and I don't show up to lie either so why would I start now, and they assure me they don't think I'm a liar or a poisoner, and I make a mental note to bring some rhubarb next season so I can tease them about it. They tell me they're dreadfully embarrassed because their son refused to say hello and I tell them not to worry about it because we had an argument and aren't speaking. They ask me if I'm sure I don't want to stay for dinner and I say "I've been here for six hours, so I think it is time I went home. Cheerio." 

I often don't go home, lol

But yeah, this is about it. 

[Transgender men and prison]

👍

[S/O Chatting on the phone]

You just talk? 

Like, what's been going on, long running discussion updates, funny things that happened, sad things, what you might make for dinner, upcoming plans, what you watched on YouTube, mutual interests, philosophical stuff, kids...just stuff! Whatever. 

[S/O Chatting on the phone]

Friends aren't meant to be an intrusion - they're meant to be part of a full life. IMO>

[So, why do you wear a bra?]

34 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:

Yeah, I don't think wearing or not wearing a bra has anything to do with feminism. Feminism (to my old school mind at least) is about agency to make a full range of decisions, not some designation from On High about what the "right" decision is, whether that designation is Thou Must _______ or Thou Must NOT ________.

I don't wear a bra because they *always* left red welt marks on my skin, when I hit menopause and 3.5 years and still going, sigh, of chronic hot flashes I started to get rashes as well; and I don't jiggle or get back pain. If I did, I WOULD wear one... *for my own comfort*, not because of the expectations of patriarchy or bodily shame.

To me, that is what agency looks like.

 

 

There's a special circle in hell for men with creeping hands.  Spiders crawl, slowly, over them, and only bite when the men move.

Yeah, I'm here for other women choosing not to wear bras. I guess agency is a continuum of issues - from bras and the wearing of, to other issues. I'm just prone to feelings of not measuring up ( or measuring up - E cups are not fun).

That is a nicely imagined circle of hell. 

After I posted, I remembered that one of the reasons I took to wearing a sleep bra was to be 'armoured' a little at night, even if only psychologically. 

It can be a complicated thing.

 

 

 

 

[So, why do you wear a bra?]

These threads always make me feel a bit sad. I wish I didn't 'jiggle' and bra free was comfortable.

They make me reflect on the trouble these bre@sts bring - the sleazy men who spoke to my chest, mostly. Creeping hands. 

I really wish I was my childhood flat self sometimes. (Don't tell me I can - that's not my speed + $.)

I agree that many women wear a bra because, 'that's what you do' - but it can kind of feel a bit competitive freedom from the bra!

It's just a garment. It doesn't have health implications so idk...wearing or not isn't really a sign of being a good feminist.

Insomnia,  so rambling, but I was the only girl in my high school to make a point about shaving - I didn't, for a whole year. I'm sort of glad I did it. 

Ya know, sometimes I'm not even sure what is feminism. 

Maybe just whatever is the opposite of 'naked is our shame'. 

 

[So, why do you wear a bra?]

God forbid one should blame a man...

[So, why do you wear a bra?]

47 minutes ago, thatfirstsip said:

Comfort seems to vary.

Respectful is exactly why I wear one out, thanks for articulating that for me. 

In separate news: yikes, man. Since when is the shape or confinement of my breasts a respect issue? 

It's not like underwear (panties); those I wear for comfort. It's absolutely a social marker of "I am compliant with expected norms, don't judge me or think I'm weird." But I don't wear makeup often, which in my area is socially abnormal.

Those of you who don't wear bras (and don't have the kind of breasts where you can't really tell anyway): do you ever see other women your age who don't wear them? Is it just more socially neutral, or are you exceptionally resistant to social pressure?

One of my kids doesn't - it's not socially neutral. Autistic - somewhat oblivious to social pressure?

[S/O Chatting on the phone]

I talk to my best friend probably 3 x week on the phone. 

[So, why do you wear a bra?]

Just now, thatfirstsip said:

Do you wear one at home? I rip mine off when I walk in and hang it on a coat hook to put back on on my way out the door 🤣

At home and at night (at night I wear soft, non-underwired ones).

It's way more comfortable for me.