AHASRADA
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Posts posted by AHASRADA
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My kids do not do sleepovers. The only exception is with very close family (grandparents, cousins) and possibly very close family friends, if I have total trust and confidence in the parents that they will provide the same supervision as I. Still, in the friend situation, one of us usually sleeps over as well ("boys night out" or "girls night out", respectively).
We try to let our kids have sleepovers here at home as much as possible (usually one on one), where dh and I provide the supervision we deem appropriate.
Why? Dh grew up without the concept of sleepovers with friends, and doesn't think it is necessary or wise. I also read an article from within my faith community, interviewing the parents of pious, successful young people about their "magic formula" for raising children of faith. Among the similarities, was that none of the parents allowed sleepovers away from home, but ensured their own home was a fun and welcoming place for friends.
I would be having a discussion with the hosting parents about why the group of boys was unsupervised for such a long period, and so late into the night.
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Do your kids have the opportunity to visit French-speaking family, especially cousins they can play with? My family has visited my in-laws overseas about every other year throughout my ds's childhoods, and it makes a huge difference.
With my ds, we never had a problem with him responding in Arabic (his dad's language). We decided from day one, I speak English, dad speaks Arabic, done, no exceptions. Ds was about 4 when he finally realized that his dad could understand English :001_huh: (I don't know how he thought we communicated, but hey, it worked!)
When dd came along, she sneakily realized that everyone in her everyday life who spoke Arabic (dad, uncles, aunts) also understood English, so why bother? It probably didn't help that she had her brother, in addition to myself, speaking to her in English all day. She would say a few words to her grandparents if they came to visit, but definitely was not fluent.
The situation changed when she was old enough (about 5/6) to want to play with her cousins when visiting them overseas, and realized she would have to speak to make that work. She became "fluent" in no time. She still isn't as fluent as her brother, but she talks to her cousins on Skype all the time, and speaks Arabic to any of us when she doesn't want others around to understand ;).
If your kids have a relationship with your dh's family, Skype (especially with a webcam) can be a great way for them to use French. If not, you need to take a trip to get that relationship established, then maintain it on Skype. Of course a playgroup would be helpful too, and the movies and books suggestions are great, but they really need to find themselves in a situation where they have no choice but to use French to communicate.
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Some children are naturally drawn to adults and their company. I think it is actually a sign of higher intelligence - they find adult conversation/play more stimulating than that of most children their own age. Ask on the "advanced" board how many children prefer the company of adults and - I imagine - a fair amount would agree. I also think that is fairly typical behavior for the first born. ;)
:iagree:
I have always, always preferred the company of adults. I am also an only child, and never had any desire whatsoever to have a sibling. After I saw how my friends' siblings treated each other, I didn't want to have one of those "rude, mean wild-animals" in my home! I put up with enough immature stupidity from kids in school, and home was my haven from that insanity. However I did have 3 close friends growing up, and that was enough. At age 4, though, kids don't really have "friends", they have other kids they share activities with. It sounds like the kids he finds around him don't engage in activities he wishes to share in.
I might be a bit concerned if it seems he doesn't want to play with *any* children, but he is still young. Has he had the opportunity to play with kids who's temperament is similar to his? As I mentioned, I truly enjoyed playing with my small group of close friends, but I hated being forced into a group of kids who were wilder, more physical and less intellectual than my friends and me. If my mom and I visited a friend of hers, I would much prefer to sit and have tea and visit with them, and was extremely insulted that I should "go off and play" with the woman's wild children, just because we all happened to be kids.
Based on your description, it also sounds plausible that he prefers adults because they listen to him, let him choose the game, and are "nicer". He will eventually need to learn the give-and-take of friendship, and that he cannot always be "the boss" (a tougher lesson for some kids than for others). I think this will be an easier lesson to learn, though, if he has the chance to play with kids whose company and activities he can truly enjoy.
HTH,
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Another plug for AAS! My dd is dyslexic, and she definitely needed an Orton-Gillingham approach in order to learn the rules and apply them to spelling. Sequential Spelling would have done nothing for her (used it with ds), and workbooks like Spelling Workout don't focus on rules enough to be useful, and are agonizing for kids who hate to write. AAS saves the day by using letter tiles instead.
HTH!
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I voted 3+. My kids have homeschool Swim & Gym, karate and soccer, that are non-negotiable. They are a regular, and constant, part of our schedule.
I doubt I would add another full-time activity, unless it were a language class. However, I am always open to short-term or one-time activities, outings, etc.
I do not have a specific limit on activities. We make decisions based on the value/benefit of the activity, as well as the cost.
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This is really scary. My ds13 is incredibly sweet, kind-hearted and has a soft spot for little kids. He's also the same size, height and weight as dh! I'm sure if he found a crying, lost little kid looking up at him, he would take his hand, try to comfort him, and try to find his mom. I think he would have the sense to go to an employee immediately, and I'm sure he would never dream of taking the child outside the store. Still, it had never occurred to me that a good samaritan could be accused of kidnapping in this situation. Naive, I guess. I would probably have a twinge of panic if I saw my dc, outside the doors of the store, holding the hand of a man-looking person, but as soon as they turned and re-entered the store, I would realize he was only helping, and thank him profusely.
Once when said ds was 3, he went missing from a boutique inside a mall. He was watching a movie in the kids' corner, and I was only 5 feet away behind a rack, with baby dd in her stroller. Apparently, he looked up at one point and couldn't see me (behind him!), so he walked out of the store looking for me. When I saw he was gone, I ran into the mall area, looking up and down the long corridor. He had made it about 4-5 stores away, and a 40-something woman was talking to him, obviously trying to get info. to help him find me. I was so thrilled and relieved to find him (as was he), and very grateful to this nice lady. It never once occurred to me that she might try to run off with him!
I guess this is another reality-check talk to have with ds, and to keep in mind myself, since my whole family is inclined to "help" in many situations.
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I would ask the "giver" if she wants it back, and tell her if she doesn't, that you will probably sell it. This gives her the option to take it back and sell it herself to recoup her investment. If she declines, then it is your gain.
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I voted "other" (I know, trouble-maker). I say you make it clear (in some diplomatic sort of way) that you do not bring your child into a smoke-filled environment. He is too young, lungs too delicate/undeveloped, whatever you need to say to help her understand without making her too defensive. Let her know that you cherish your time with her, and want her to be a big part of your child's life, but that she cannot be around him when she smokes.
If she is willing to smoke outside (or in the garage, porch, etc.), then I would continue to split my time evenly between the grandparents' homes. Yes, a house that smells of smoke is annoying, but will not harm his health; it's the smoke itself that is dangerous to inhale. If she insists that smoking on a different floor, or in a different room is good enough, help her to understand that it is not, since smoke will circulate throughout the house. Once you having lovingly set the ground rules, she will be the one making the choice.
My own wonderful grandmother smoked from the age of 16 until her death of emphysema at age 67. I tried so hard to help her to quit as I was growing up, but to no avail. Once my kids were born, she never smoked in their presence. We visited regularly, and yes, her house reeked of smoke, but she always went out on her porch to smoke when we were there. She would remove the oxygen tube from her nose, hang it on the door handle, and go outside to smoke (I know, what an insane, terrible addiction!) We would all bathe as soon as we returned home, to remove the awful smell from our hair and clothes. This was the compromise we were all willing to live with to maintain our close family relationship. You, and she, should be willing to do the same.
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We are using "Coffin's Patch", a novel offered by the same company that sells "Vocabulary Cartoons". It is full of SAT vocab. words that kids learn through the story. They have other novels also, as well as SAT vocab. cartoon books.
Check them out: http://www.vocabularycartoons.com/home/categories/Books/
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These have been interesting threads. Personally, I wear long, loose-fitting dresses, WITH pants (leggings, stretch pants, loose rayon slacks, etc.) underneath.
The dress masks the contours of my body that would be outlined by my trousers, and the pants take care of the "access" issues mentioned by a PP. I agree that dresses can be less modest if they unintentionally expose skin through movement, wind blowing, manner of sitting, etc., hence my underneath pants.
All bases covered! :lol:
Oh, and my dh also appreciates me dressing in an attractive manner, at home, for him. On the street for everyone to "appreciate", no way.
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My opinion will be quite unpopular, I'm sure, but I honestly cannot understand people being so upset/insulted/appalled etc. at others receiving benefits or help, whatever kind, from whatever source, simply because they themselves were not in a position to receive them or didn't need them when in a similar situation.
What happened to wanting for our fellow man what we would want for ourselves, working together and supporting each other as a family and community? I can think of a lot worse things (and more drawing on the "system") that a young adult could be doing than going school and/or trying to get his/her feet on the ground and learning to be a responsible member of society, and if that takes a few more years for some than for others, so be it.
In these types of situations, I always like to stand back and take a historical view of where we are and how we got here. For instance, where did this "out on their own/on their own two feet" sentiment come from? I'm thinking returning WWII GIs, when young people were encouraged to move off the family farm into their own home, purchase their own appliances, their own vehicle, etc. Up until that point, most "kids" lived at home, contributing to the family farm or business, and often stayed even after they married, with the younger generation eventually taking over from and taking care of their parents. There was no "magic" or arbitrary age at which they were to leave home and become instant self-sufficient adults. In the current economic climate, I think this assumption has become even less reasonable.
Now for healthcare. How on earth did healthcare get tied up with a person's job? Why should the deciding factor in whether or not a person has health coverage be whether their employer offers it? There was a great story on NPR about the history of this arrangement http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114045132
It was basically a perk that employers added to attract workers back when there was no such thing as health insurance (and when an illness did not threaten to wipe out a person's total net worth). I hope we can agree that health care, and therefore health insurance, has become a necessity, not a "perk", and it no longer makes sense for citizens to be dependent upon their employer to offer it (especially if they don't have one, or are under-employed). I am not satisfied with the new legislation, because it looks like a giant bandaid on a fundamentally ill-conceived system. The system needs to be completely overhauled, not necessarily government-sponsored or public, but creating insurance pools based on geography or some criteria other than employer-based, and including everyone.
OK, kind of OT, I know, sorry. I just don't see why anyone would begrudge a young person, or any person, affordable access to healthcare, or begrudge that person's family from helping them in this, or any way for that matter, if they so choose.
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Interesting question. We very rarely have the front door open, only if dh is here, and then it is propped 1/4 open with a shoe so no one can see in.
We have always lived in fairly safe suburban/rural areas, so I wouldn't be overly concerned about a "wierdo" being outside, but you never know. It's always a good habit to teach kids never to open the door to someone they don't know. We don't have a dog, so that could make a difference in other people's situation.
Aside from general safety, my kids (esp. when they were little) were taught not only not to open the door, but to be very quiet and pretend we're not home, so *I* don't have to open the door if I don't want to ;). If I am not expecting them, don't know them, I can't be bothered, KWIM? I also dress modestly in public, so if it is a man at the door, I have to stop what I'm doing and take the time to dress properly before answering, usually hurrying and flustered as they continue to ring and re-ring the bell. I'd rather just not deal with them.
Now that my ds is 13 and the same size and height as dh, I tend to let him answer the door if it is a man, I don't need to talk to them, but the door needs to be answered for some reason. Most of the time we still just ignore them, though.
We currently live in an environment that is somewhat hostile to homeschooling. If anyone we don't know either knocks or needs to enter our home during school hours, my kids run and hide out of sight. I know, it's frustrating, but all it takes is one nosey person to report that my kids aren't in school, and a whole unsavory can of worms (and a CPS file) would be opened.
So yes, there are all kinds of reasons for kids not to open the door :tongue_smilie:.
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There is a lifetime spending limit if your acct. isn't linked to your bank acct., but it's quite a lot, like $5,000. My limit has shown up often at the top of the screen when I login (don't remember where exactly, maybe in "My Account"), and it shows me how much I have left in my limit.
Have you checked that limit? Have you reached it? I also think there is a monthly limit, maybe $500. Did you check into that?
Several years ago, my Paypal was linked to my bank, but it was a free checking acct. that I rarely used. I would never want it linked to our primary acct., because if fraud or a mistake happens, the $$ is gone, and can take quite a while to get it back. Unfortunately, I had so little in the acct., it accidentally got overdrawn once and the bank closed it.
I am keeping an eye on my limit, and when I approach it, I will look into opening a "dummy acct." again to link my Paypal to. For now, it's just the CC.
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You gave very good advice. My dd is severely dyslexic, and I cannot imagine her, even after a couple of years of intervention, passing the tests you gave him with such outstanding results. I was pretty positive she was dyslexic (which was confirmed by testing) but chose to do a complete private educational/neuro psychologist evaluation to be sure we got to the bottom of any and all issues.
It is silly and really irresponsible parenting to focus on only one diagnosis. What if he isn't dyslexic, then what? Will they have the funds to seek out further testing? Will the poor kid be willing/open to further testing after this?
The thoroughness of school testing is often questionable, especially since they are focusing on issues which qualify kids for services, not truly getting to the bottom of their difficulties and the causes.
If she and her dh are willing to spend $1K on testing, I would strongly advise her to put that into private neuropsychological testing, which will find dyslexia if it's there, but also dig up any other underlying issues she might not have thought of. A much better use of her testing budget, and much more beneficial to her child, IMO.
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That is extremely surprising! When I was in school, the cutoff was January, but about 15 years ago, everyone seemed to start moving the cutoff to the 1st day of school or thereabouts. If your child misses the cutoff by a day or a week or whatever, they might make an exception through an interview and testing, but it is typically very difficult to get your kid to be "allowed" to start K if they miss the cutoff.
Since the cutoffs are usually meant to keep unprepared kids out, I cannot imagine that this cutoff date in your district would mean your child would be *required* to be placed in Grade 1, just that they couldn't deny you from placing him in Grade 1 if that is what you felt he was ready for, which seems like a fairer way to go about it.
It is a surprisingly late cutoff. I wonder how it came about?
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1 egg
1 egg white
1 1/4 c. packed brown sugar
1/4 c. canola oil
1 c. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2 c. granola w/raisins
1 c. craisins
In a mixing bowl, combine egg, egg white, brown sugar and oil; mix well. Combine the flour, baking powder and salt; stir into sugar mixture just until blended. Stir in granola and craisins (batter will be thick).
Spread into a 9 inch square pan coated with nonstick cooking spray. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes or until golden and set. Cool on wire rack. Cut into 12 bars.
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I tutor other people's kids after school. I charge $20 per hour at my home, or $25 if I have to travel to theirs (most people choose to come to me ;)). Although I do have a teaching degree, it has been a great way to capitalize on all the "tricks of the trade" I have learned over my years of homeschooling.
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I agree with the ticket and poem idea. I would probably print colorful tickets and laminate them, but since you only have an hour, using cardstock or construction paper, maybe with stickers, would be good.
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Our typical gift budget for any random birthday party my kids are invited to is usually $15-20. I think a graduation is more significant than the annual birthday parties, so for an acquaintance, I would probably give $25, either in cash or a gift card. This is a respectable amount to express the sentiment you intend.
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We have learned to become content with just being still and being together. I have learned to really enjoy and find true peace and happiness in my life. :001_smile:
What a beautiful post! Oh how I wish I could say the same! For most of my life, home has represented work. Never-ending, thankless, overwhelming, messy work. Perhaps because I was raised watching my mother be discouraged by her home and endlessly seeking escape from it.
From time to time, if the house is actually decluttered, organized and clean, and no deadlines are looming, I can sit back and enjoy being home, but this is extremely rare.
When my kids were small, we had less stuff, life was simpler, and they were easily amused with a few toys and Sesame Street. It was easier to keep my house together, and I enjoyed doing so, but I still needed to get out a few times a week. My favorite period was their early elementary years. We had some sort of activity almost every day: gymnastics, karate, park day, library day, field trips. We had such wonderful conversations in the car, and they learned so much from the books they brought along on those rides. My son actually coined "Stay-Home Don't Go Anywhere Day" for the one day we stayed home, and we savoured it with read alouds and walks in the neighborhood.
Now that they are older, they require much more of my time academically, and there isn't time (or money) to do a lot of activities. Our house is crammed full, dh is here most of the time as well, and we are falling over each other and each other's stuff all day, every day. I welcome any opportunity to escape the innumerable tasks that are calling me from every corner and which seem insurmountable.
Dh wonders why I love eating out from time to time and enjoy the ambiance. He honestly would prefer to get take-out and eat in his comfy chair in front of the TV. I try to explain to him that, for me, even if someone else cooks, eating at home would be like him eating in his office. If I owned a restaurant, worked there 15 hours a day, it would not be a "treat" to eat dinner there, even if I didn't cook it. I cannot have a fun, relaxing evening in my workplace!
So, theoretically, if I had more space, less stuff, or both, and had adult companionship (OK adult *female* companionship) from time to time, I would probably enjoy staying home, since I prefer reading and other quiet activities. In fact, I love "staying home" at other people's houses, LOL!
Sadly, my own home is just not a restful place, and rarely has been. It is a monster than refuses to be tamed :sad:.
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I agree with most of the PPs. It really depends on how much storage space you have, how often you move, how expensive it would be to replace the curriculum, and the resale value.
My kids are 3 years apart, and early on, I saved everything. Then I realized that my kids' learning styles, strengths and weaknesses are completely opposite each other. What worked for ds definitely would not work for dd, which a few exceptions (like FLL). We have also moved a lot, and currently don't have a ton of storage space. Dragging all those books around has become a huge burden. Since I know I will likely find something else that would be a better fit when the time comes, I usually just resell most things, keeping only those with sentimental value or a true possibility of being used again.
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I read in the new about the little girl who couldn't take her 2 inch pet turtle on the plane. She had to leave the plane and take another flight OR throw her pet away. Honestly!!
Yes, there are a lot of things that happen at the border that don't make any sense, but it usually pays to be as prepared as possible. I have the border's phone number saved, and call them any time I am not sure about what I am allowed to bring, how to declare something, etc.
Last year, my kids had two tiny pet lizards (anoles), about 2 inches long plus tail. We actually bought them in the States and, after checking online, found out there was no restriction on them entering into Canada, and so did not declare them. The next time they wanted to visit Grandma back in the US (and couldn't leave the pets at home alone, unfed), I called the border, waaay ahead of time. It took speaking with 2 agents, being transferred to the local Fish and Wildlife office, who didn't know and had me call the regional Fish and Wildlife office. It turns out, I had to fill out a form online, as if I was importing wildlife. The nice agent walked me through the form, since many items didn't apply in my situation. The form then had to be approved and e-mailed back to me, printed and brought with me to cross the border. The Fish & Wildlife guy warned me that they might stop me, since few agents would be familiar with the form. He was right, but I had all my paperwork in order, and they actually laughed when they saw the cute little guys hiding in the leaves of the fake tree in their plastic cage. Fortunately, my form stays on file, so they next time the kids went to Grandma's for a week, I just resubmitted it, had it reapproved (yes, it is only good for one entry on a specific date!) and printed it again. The lizards have since died, which is sad, but easier at the border!
As for a permission slip from your spouse, yes, dh and I always have one with us when crossing with the kids on our own. We are rarely asked for it (although dh is asked more often), but there is no point in complicating our crossing by not having it with us. We just wrote up our own note, saying I, (complete name and passport #) give unconditional permission to my spouse, (complete name and passport #) to cross international borders while traveling with our children (complete names, DOB, passport #s), and had it notarized at the bank.
Agents can find plenty of ways to be annoying and unreasonable if they want to, but I have found that they respect and tend to leave alone those who are well informed and well prepared. Really, with the advent of the internet, there isn't any reason not be, and it can help prevent a lot of suffering at the border.
Moral: When in doubt, call ahead!
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I would start paying attention to how much I use myself, measuring how many turns around my hand it would be (once, twice?) Then teach the dc to do the same. Many kids don't realize (or know how) to fold the paper and use it again (or think it's gross). Depending on their ages, this can be a bit embarassing or difficult logistically to teach them if they are older, but necessary.
We also use flushable wipes, which really cuts down on the amount of toilet paper when things get "messy". Just make sure you teach them to only use one wipe, after using the normal amount of toilet paper, to "clean up the situation".
I'm not so sure about the flushing part, except to remind them every time they exit (at the same time as you remind them to wash their hands ;)), and if you find it unflushed later, they have to stop what they are doing and come flush it themselves. Maybe even add a quick cleaning of the toilet bowl to help them remember.
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Makes very little sense to me (well, none actually!) I cross the border at least monthly, and there is never any duty to pay on our personal possessions. Duty is for items that are going to be *left* in the country you are traveling to. As long as you are bringing the stuff back with you, it shouldn't be an issue.
My dh has crossed with "samples" before, and he did have to fill out something, but didn't have to pay. Did he ask to speak to someone else, the agent's supervisor, something? Maybe there was a document he needed to procure ahead of time. I can't imagine.
I thought it was bad enough that they now require passports to get into Canada. We went to NJ a couple weeks ago and wanted to drive back through Canada to see Niagra Falls but didn't want to spend almost $500 to get us all passports. I think it's a ploy to keep us all in our own country.
Just to address Lisamarie's comment. A passport actually is not required to cross North American borders (Canada and Mexico) traveling by land or sea (passports are needed for air travel). Due to the increased security requirements, the US government has created an alternative, called a Passport Card. It looks like a driver's license, and only costs $20. These would only be necessary for adults 16 and older. For children, only a birth certificate is necessary (as long as they were born in the US and are crossing with their own parents, whose names are listed on the birth certificate and have their passports or cards with them).
HTH,
Am I being unreasonable in wanting to move?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
:iagree: I would list the things you hate about where you currently live, compared to the hassle/negatives involved in moving. Also list the pros (if any) of where you are now, and the pros of moving. I might even color code the pros and cons, to symbolize whose pros and cons they are. He may honestly not realize how miserable you are now, and how much it means to you to live in a nice house, even for 18 months.
Hopefully, when he sees that there aren't many pros to where you live now, and that most of the cons on both sides are yours (living in a place you hate vs. the hassle of packing and setting up house), and that despite this, you would prefer the cons of moving, due to all the pros of moving, in addition to the financial factor, he will come around.
18 months is a long time, plenty long enough to justify moving. Have you ever lived anywhere for 18 months or less before moving? I would guess yes, so why is this time any different? What if you never end up with another assignment that allows you to live in such comfortable circumstances? And you missed this opportunity just because he doesn't "feel like it" ?? Sounds like he's setting himself up for a lifetime grudge to be held over his head in every future argument. Not worth it, IMO ;).