AHASRADA
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Posts posted by AHASRADA
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Is dry erase board safer? What I mean is, if you get the wrong answer, just wipe and retry, so less pressure & stress, so the brain operates better? While pencil / paper seems more permanent? stress goes up? I know you can erase a pencil, but not as easily as wiping dry erase?
Please post if you figure it out...I've seen some wild stuff like this in our homeschool too...so interesting how the brains operate!!
This is the reason we have always done spelling words on the dry erase board. If the child has to try and re-try various vowel combinations, for example, it is much easier and less frustrating to do so by simply swiping the letters away with a thumb than erasing a hole through the paper!
DD10 also does a lot of math word problems on the board, jotting down bits of information, organizing it with little pictures, then realizing she is thinking about it the wrong way, quick erase and change, etc. in a way that she would deem too "messy" to do on her lesson paper.
BTW, we are using individual 8x10" boards on the table, not a large one on the wall, and it still works better for some things than paper.
Good luck getting to the bottom of this!
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Visiting my parents is usually a "dream visit". They live 2 hours away, and we spend about one weekend per month with them, plus one-week visits 3-4 times per year, and often 2-4 weeks in the summer. My parents are young (56 and 59), and love to spoil the kids, taking them out to eat, play mini golf, hiking, kayaking, fishing, camping, etc. My mom has been chronically ill since before my kids were born, so she does get tired easily. If she is low on energy, she plays cards or Monopoly with them. In fact, my kids are camping with my parents now, 8 hours away, since July 1st. I will join them this week, and dh will come the week after that. My father works part-time and has hobbies, but my mom pretty much lives for my kids, and I am certain that her desire to watch them grow up is the main thing that has kept her going through her illness. I was an only child, and she is blown away by how busy I am with caring for both my kids, dh, household, homeschooling, tutoring, etc. It has been a very long time since she has had much to do in any capacity, and feels breaks are essential for my sanity (I agree). My kids are big now and don't need much care, but just the fact that I can go to my room and read a book and not have anyone nagging at me, complaining they're bored, etc., is a huge relief. They have other adult companionship, which takes the burden off me. It is expected and encouraged that I will take advantage of these visits to go shopping by myself, visit a friend for tea, and have a night out with dh (if he came with us). We even stayed with them for 3 months during the school year at one point when we were between houses. They brought a bookshelf up from the basement for the kids' school books, and my mom worked with one kid while I taught the other, in order to cut our school day in half and have more time for fun!
My in-laws live overseas, but they are wonderful people. My kids love them, and they are very affectionate. They are not the types to drop everything and spend all day playing with the grandkids (MIL is usually cooking for 8-20 people when we visit and has a large house to maintain, and so has little free time). However, theirs is a large family, so there are always aunts, uncles and/or cousins to keep the kids occupied. It is very easy for dh and I to get alone time there as well, because the house is full of adults to supervise and kids to play with. I also enjoy more adult interaction with MIL, SILs, etc., chatting and having tea, because the kids are busy with their cousins. So, less individual one-on-one time, but equal attention in the end, divided among a large family of loving relatives. We actually lived with them as well, for two 6-month periods. They gave us our own apartment on the 1st floor, totally respected our privacy, and yet welcomed us as full members of the household.
Two polar-opposite scenarios, both ideal in their own ways and serving different but equally vital purposes. I guess I am extremely fortunate!
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How old is your daughter? How long has she been on her own/out of the house/married/in her own place? I know the transition from child to adult can be long and confusing, as can becoming a parent to a young child. She is likely exhausted and overwhelmed with motherhood, as well as the chaos involved with not having her own place, everything in storage, etc. She likely sees staying with you as a chance for there to be a trusted adult to supervise her son so she can get some down time, coupled with the fact that you are her mom, in her childhood home, and it is so easy to revert to childish ways, especially if she hasn't been gone that long.
I think the idea of setting ground rules is important. If SIL's parents don't have any kids at home, and you have 5, they really should be spending most of their time there. Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable "checking out" to the same extent at their house, so she comes to yours for a break. If you are willing and able to provide her that break, wonderful. But, she needs to know your limits.
I don't know her personally, but I imagine that this is less of an issue of bad parenting, and more of a need/expectation on her part to "take a break" from her 24/7 role as mom while she's under your roof. If you don't help her to understand that you are also overwhelmed and need a break from your own 5 from time to time, not to mention adding her son, she won't know. Could you agree on days and times to exchange child care? You watch her son, and in exchange, she stays with her siblings so you can get out once in a while too? Just a thought.
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I would definitely flush first. I agree, the possibility/probability of a splash is very likely and not worth the risk. Normally, the person responsible for the "other" liquid would have flushed anyway, so you are not wasting any water that would not have typically been wasted. You are simply disposing of dirty water in the toilet after the fact.
I get his point, that you could have saved water by using the dirty water to flush with. In this case, you simply missed an opportunity to save water, but have not actually wasted any. Considering the water (and cleaning products, paper towels, etc.) you would have wasted cleaning up any "splash", I'd call it even.
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When I was pregnant with #3, the cashier at Wal-Mart asked me why I was ruining my "perfect family" (I assume she meant one boy, one girl, boy born first, of course).
I would certainly never dream of actually saying that to anyone, but not that long ago, I would have had the same thought. I was blessed with one boy, one girl, the perfect family, and I was done. Why would I want any more? My poor SILs have 3, one has 3 girls, the other 3 boys, and I know they both wish they could have had at least one of the other gender, but 3 was "pushing it" (and I know my MIL, who incidentally had 5 kids of her own, thought they were both nuts for having a 3rd).
Well now, after years of bliss with a "perfect family", it has hit me that my kids are getting big, will soon be gone, and suddenly our family starts to seem small. A young family with 2 little ones seems normal and perfect, but an older couple with "only" two grown kids, or an adult with "only" one sibling, just seems sad. So, we're now embarking on the next phase of our parenting with a 3rd child...
While 2 kids may seem like the perfect family when they are little and you want to avoid buying a mini-van, only reserve one hotel room, and the numerous other things that are easier to do as a family of 4, it's not necessarily so perfect down the road, when parents grow old or pass on, and a child is left with only one sibling on the other side of the country.
Bravo to all of you slogging through the daily chaos to raise a brood who will, God willing, provide a loving and stable extended family relationship to each other throughout their lives.
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I have no idea how to change a tire, and have no desire to do so. I mean, I know the theory, jack up, remove nuts, etc., but I doubt I would be able to get them off anyway, and just really don't care to try. I put car repair in the same category as working the lawn mower. I probably could do it if I had to, filling the gas, yanking that chain thing over and over till it starts, but why? This is why I have a dh and ds, and if they weren't available, I would hire someone to do it.
Dh could probably figure out how to run the washer and dryer, pay the bills online and buy groceries if he really had to, but doesn't technically know how, and has no reason to try.
I agree it is important to be as knowledgeable and capable as possible to be a functioning adult, but I don't see anything wrong with a little specializing and division of labor. So no, no intention of changing a tire here. The one time I had a flat on the interstate, I called a tow company, they put my spare on, and I continued on my way. No big deal.
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Don't we all ? ;) Seriously, who remembers 5th grade math or 4th grade science? Definitely not me. I self-educate everyday, along with my kids, and it's amazing how much I have learned, the connections and "aha" moments I have had as I finally put world history together in my mind, for example. And of course, I read everything I can find time to about curriculum, teaching methods, child rearing, etc.
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Thanks for the congrats, Oh Elizabeth. Nice to hear some positive feedback from someone BTDT. I am thinking the same thing; older and wiser, more relaxed and, as I tell my kids, I now have built-in babysitters!
The only annoying part is, my OB (who is overbooked and can't remember all the details of each patient's lives) asks me if this is the same father :glare:. I say, "Yes, this dd, God willing, will be our 19th anniversary present ;)".
Oh, and back to the topic of French, I am actually toying with the idea of speaking French with the new baby. With my older kids, we were already speaking 2 languages in the house, and I thought it would be too confusing to add another one, especially one that is not our native language. I now realize how much easier it would have been if I'd taught them some French from day one, and their French might improve if they hear me speaking it to the baby on a regular basis. Just a thought, hmm...
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Why don't you do something that doesn't require reading until her english reading takes off?
I haven't used either of these programs, but to address the comment above, L'Art de Lire has a companion pre-reading program, called L'Art de Dire. It is completely oral, for kids K-2 who are not yet ready to learn to read in French. In fact, the author recommends waiting until the child is "reading well" in English, so they don't confuse the two phonetic systems.
So, if you are looking for something completely planned out, open and go, for an oral-based, pre-reading style program, you could start with L'Art de Dire.
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Well, unfortunately, you no longer have the range to be free in. :glare:
Oh, the wisdom in this one phrase. I think this sums up a lot of what is difficult about raising kids today. I would gladly let my kids run free through woods, fields, up streams and mountains, but down the 4-lane highway to the convenience store?...hmm.
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This is very strange. I do a lot of comparison shopping, and Rainbow Resource is almost always cheaper than any other source. Once in a while Amazon will be cheaper if they are giving a huge discount, but that's it. I can only imagine the publisher being less expensive if they are offering a low price that only they, as the publisher, are able to offer.
In general, Rainbow Resource is the least expensive source for most homeschool supplies. I hope this one item doesn't turn you off to them. It is always wise to compare, but their vast array of products that often cannot be found anywhere else, as well as their low prices, make them a wonderful curriculum source.
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Thanks for all the wonderful replies, everyone (incidentally, I am not the OP, but was wondering the same thing!)
We had only a crib for our 1st, in his own room at the other end of the hall, and I was exhausted having to get up and drag down to get him for every feeding. He moved to a twin bed at age 3.
With #2dd, I bought a bassinet at a used store, which worked great next to my bed for the 1st 6 months or so, at which time she moved to the crib, then to a twin bed at age 2.
Fast forward 10 years, all the baby stuff has long been sold or given away, and here I am expecting #3!
Ideally, I wanted one of those co-sleeper bassinets that attach to the side of my bed http://www.armsreach.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3_1&products_id=19, but they're $200 and I couldn't find a used one. (but if you are considering buying both a bassinet and a crib, and either at full price, I would look into buying this instead :)
Then I got the great idea of a PNP (which costs just as much, but are easy to find used). I found one for $30, so that was my plan for the 1st 6-8 months until we got a crib when she wouldn't need so much night nursing. It never once occurred to me to leave the kid sleeping in the PNP (or a laundry basket, for that matter!) until they were 2! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one planning to use a PNP as a bassinet, and you're making me feel much better about the decision.
BTW, for anyone who is co-sleeping but worried about the baby rolling off the bed (which did happen to my dd when I fell asleep nursing), I found this wonderful, long bolster pillow that attaches to the mattress. It can be used for littles in their own bed as well, in place of those darned gates.
http://snugtuckpillow.com/theproduct.html
Thanks again!
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I would agree with the poster who suggested you and dh take turns lying down with each kid. Either that, or cuddle as a family in your bed, and then move them to theirs. Here's my perspective.
As a child, I have very fond memories of my mom lying down with me, chatting and keeping me company until I was sleepy. As I got older, it wasn't every day, but even when I was in high school and college, she would periodically lie down with me so we could chat comfortably until we were both ready to sleep. This is when we could reconnect, without distractions, in a private way, to share my deepest thoughts and hopes and dreams with her. In the dark silence, all the stress and chaos of the day melted away, and I could break down over a bad experience, and feel open to share my emotions. Our close relationship was nurtured by those late evening talks. Even now, when we're visiting and my kids have gone to bed, Mom and I will lie in her bed, watch HGTV and have wonderful chats until I'm ready to sleep and go to my own bed.
With my own kids, when we feel ready for a story and bed (usually around 9/9:30), we all pile into our king-sized bed and do our family read aloud. My dd10 usually falls asleep fairly quickly, which leaves ds13 and I to have deep, meaningful conversations that it is so hard to do during the day, especially with boys. We will lie there, each reading or watching TV or both, and then he will break the silence with a question or comment that leads to the most meaningful and important exchanges a parent can have with a child. On some nights, ds prefers to stay up and watch a movie with dh, so dd and I have our private cuddling, reading and sharing time.
When they were littler, we would let them sleep for 10-15 minutes in our bed, then carry them, or when they were too heavy, walk them to their own beds. Now they are both big enough that they walk to their own beds when they feel sleepy. We did not enforce any specific rules about when they were ready to fall asleep in their own beds rather than in ours, it just happened naturally at around age 9 or 10. If they do happen to fall asleep in our bed (usually because I fall asleep myself), I either wake them up and tell them to go to bed, or dh sends them when he comes to bed.
The only improvement that I would have liked to have made over the years is for dh to be more involved in the bedtime routine. I don't buy the "it's not fair to your dh" excuse. It's not fair to you to do all the reading, tucking in, cuddling, etc., while dh crashes and watches his favorite show. If he doesn't like the time you devote to getting the kids to bed, he should pick up the slack. By getting the kids to sleep by reading, cuddling and talking, as a family, you will have more couple time and more family time, without anyone feeling left out.
Kids often ask "How come you get to sleep with Daddy and I have to sleep all alone?" It's a valid question. Sleep time is cuddle and closeness time. If babies, toddlers and adults need it, why should we act as if kids should just jump into a cold bed, lie there all alone, and sleep? Just never made sense to me.
I hope you find the solution that works best for your family.
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I can't even REMEMBER the last time I paid with cash. I never even carry it. I only pay with debit card, but it doesn't take any longer than cash, imo.
:iagree:Hunting for change, now that takes embarassingly long, not to mention stuff falling out of my purse, change rolling across the floor, as I dig for the coins I need. Nope, debit card all the way around here too. The only cash I usually have is the kids' allowance (which I get as "cash back" when using my debit at the supermarket ;)).
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I am thoroughly pleased with our choices for dc's names. What I regret a bit is how I wrote them on their birth certificates.
My dh's family has a "title" (one for boys, a different one for girls) which is added to the front of everyone's names, but don't have middle names. So, yes, they have 2 given names, but their second name is actually their first name, with the first name being a title they rarely use. Clear as mud?
I saw how confusing and complicated it was for dh having 2 first names, but no middle name. I would try to explain, saying, "You know, it's like Jean-Paul, or Mary-Ann", but without the hyphen, and with no middle name, we would always get calls and items addressed to only his title, which was especially confusing when he lived with his brother (having the same title but different 1st/2nd names).
To me, the obvious solution for my dc was to add a middle name, so it would be clear that the first two names were a composite 1st name. We didnt really want them to have middle names, though, so I used another traditional formality of adding "son of (father's name)" as the middle name. Yes, my son's birth certificate reads the equivalent of (not his real name, but as an example):
Sir Robert son of Sir Steven Smith
My ingenious plan was to use the middle initial "S", so on all his documentation his name would be: Sir Robert S. Smith, and going by Robert only. Dh was a little reluctant, but in the hospital, I had to fill out the birth certificate, I asked him if my plan was OK, he kind of shrugged and figured, I'm the mom, whatever. Then dd was born, and I had to keep consistency, so I did the same for her (with "daughter of..." as her middle name).
Then along comes BIL's first child (dh's brother, so faced with the same naming problem). What did he do? He used the title as the middle name. Duh! So, instead of Sir Robert son of Sir Steven Smith, his son is simply Robert Sir Smith. This serves the purpose of maintaining the family title, and providing the child with a middle name, and ensuring no one confuses the title with his first name. Why didn't I think of that!!?? I'll tell you why, because I make everything more complicated than it needs to be, and get hung up on little details. I never considered using the title as a middle name, because that's not where it belongs, it goes before the first name. I foolishly thought I could force American convention to adapt to dh's family tradition, instead of doing the opposite, as BIL did. Live and learn.
I have thought about changing their names legally, but never did. Now we have immigrated to Canada, with their names on all kinds of official paperwork, so a legal change would involve a lot of logistical work and money now. Oh well.
So now I'm blessed with the upcoming birth of a new dd, God willing. I have to decide if I will do the same crazy long name for her, for the sake of continuity, or go the easy route like BIL. Hmm...
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Yes, I usually discover this too late. More frequently, I purchase a book/curriculum to cover a subject, and later discover I already had something I could have used for the same purpose. Once in a while, though, I do end up with 2 copies of the same book.
How wonderful you found them before you spent the $$!
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I'm going to be a party pooper and vote "other". As another PP said, you could move, although since it isn't an official name registered anywhere, you could just choose a new name in that case.
I would be more worried about "Kingsley" since dogs have a much shorter life expectancy than people, and I would hate to have my school name be a sad reminder of a lost pet at some point down the road. The kids might not have the heart to change it, out of respect for their pet, but it would certainly add a somber tone to the name. So, I would choose something less temporal.
Sorry for the downer...
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I personally separate the actor completely from the character when watching a movie.
My dh has actors he loves and others he hates, and often makes comments on the quality of the acting, special effects, etc., while watching.
Personally, I just get into the story and it distracts me to think about the actor outside of character. So no, I don't really think much about who they are and what they do in real life.
Of course, there are so few movies that I would bother watching anyway, I choose my viewing solely based on the story, not on the actor.
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Just commiserating here, no great advice. My dd has the same problem. Not only is she dyslexic, but she can often get lost listening to someone read aloud to her, especially non-fiction (history, science). If it is told as a story, and the vocabulary isn't over her head (or I stop periodically to explain what they mean), she remembers the gist of the story, although no proper names of places, characters or events. Factual information such as science, even with pictures as a reference, go in one ear and out the other. She does very well with interactive on-line content, though. TV and DVDs can also work well, but the visual content has to be engaging in and of itself; if it relies too much on verbal explanations (especially if she doesn't understand the vocabulary), she tunes out.
Since you don't seem to have a lot of time yourself, and your family is unable/unwilling to help her, I would strongly suggest you look into an internet-based curriculum. Time4Learning isn't too expensive and you could try it for a month before you commit. it is animated (my dd prefers more realistic visuals), but I have heard it works well for many dyslexics and visual learners. I also use Sonlight DVDs as supplements for math (Mathtacular) and science (Discover and Do). Homeschool Buyers Co-op often has many internet-based programs for various subjects that are quite interactive and of excellent quality.
None of this solves the literature issue, though. I would 2nd the suggestion of high interest/low ability readers. Here's another source for those: http://www.highnoonbooks.com/
My dd is 10 and still enjoys reading Amelia Bedelia, Berenstain Bears, etc., and there are several "easy readers" you can pick up at the bookstore on science and history topics that might interest her. We also have several books from the "Illustrated Classics" series that are abridged and simplified a bit, which I read aloud to her, since the originals would be miles over her head.
Don't get bogged down on a guilt trip that you aren't reading a ton of great literature to her. A lot of the classics I see on WTM-type lists have such archaic vocabulary that *I* would be bored reading them. A handful of good, quality literature each year, including classics that she can get excited about and be interested in the story, is better than plowing through a list of books that she can't get her head around, just to check them off an arbitrary list. Less is more, quality not quantity...
HTH at least a bit,
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When my kids were little, the things that had to be brought up or down were mainly toys. I had a collapsable canvas box that I used for my daily toy gathering/returning to their correct floor time.
Now that they are more than capable of dealing with their own stuff (which includes sweatshirts, karate gear, videos/dvds, hairbands, earbuds, etc, etc), items are placed along the left side of the stairs. Sometimes I do this as part of my cleaning up, other times I ask the kids to straighten up and they place the items there.
The rule is, the next time you go upstairs, you bring an armful of your own stuff. Everything is usually gone by the end of the day. I do sometimes have to remind them in case they get in the habit of walking by and ignoring the piles, but they are pretty good about it.
Yes, baskets might be nice, especially if each kid had their own, but I think in our house, this would look too "neat", and the baskets would just become a new storage location. The messy pile along the side of the stairs screams "clean me up"!
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I would, but I'll eat anything that doesn't smell bad ;). I would probably feel more comfortable re-heating it on the stove first, to tell myself I am killing any bacteria there may be.
It honestly depends on your family's digestive tract resilience. My mom is extremely sensitive, and can't even eat at potlucks or buffets, because she gets sick every time. She puts leftovers in the fridge immediately.
I prefer to let leftovers cool off before refrigerating them, and am careful to do so. However, once in a while when something gets left out, especially if there isn't any meat in it, I grumble, but we still eat it. We have always been fine.
If your family isn't sensitive, I see no reason why it wouldn't be fine, especially if you give it a good saute first.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug:
It may sound silly, but have you tried talking to yourself? I personally am not crazy about crying in front of people, so I naturally avoid bringing up topics that I know will make me cry, even if I feel like I need to talk about them. I find a time that I can be completely alone, and just let myself cry, as long and as hard as I need to while verbalizing, usually aloud, what is making me sad, exactly the way it is running through my mind. I simply say what I would say to someone if they were listening, even though no one is. Often, once I have done this, it gets the sadness out of my system and then I can discuss the topic, or the memory, especially with my kids, but without breaking down. It feels really good to get the emotions out without worrying about how others will react, or having to deal with their reactions/comments/input.
My kids left with my parents a couple of days ago on a camping trip, leaving me at home alone for the rest of the day. The first thing that entered my mind as they left was, "I really feel like calling Gram and having a great chat!" The only problem is, my grandmother died almost 8 years ago. In that millisecond it took me to remember that she's gone, and to realize, once again, that there is no one left that I have that same type of relationship with, I broke down and mourned her all over again.
Grandmothers are extremely special. Mine was a friend, a confidante, and my biggest fan. I never felt like she doubted me in the least, like she thought I was the smartest person in the world and could do anything. She took all of my comments and suggestions as if they came from an expert, and was always there to confide in growing up, when I needed to complain about my parents, etc. We would get in the car, and she would ask "Where do you want to go?" I would tell her "left" and "right" until we ended up in the craziest places! Some of my best memories were of those silly road trips and the deep conversations we had on them. It is so tough to lose someone like that.
I would worry less about who you have to listen to your grief, and just grieve. And I agree, if you really want to share stories about your grandmother, your kids are the best audience.
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I'd like to put in a 3rd vote for Autumn. Serves the same purpose, but much more beautifully.
November is fine, but since it is a long name, it will inevitably get shortened, and the nickname will stick, however it evolves and whether any of you like it or not. Since you're not crazy about Nova or Novi, I would tend to think it's not a great idea. How about November as a middle name?
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When we married (young), I chose a very wide wedding band with filigree, because we couldn't afford a diamond (and didn't want a puny one).
On our 2nd anniversary, we bought a fairly inexpensive narrow anniversary band with a row of small diamonds, which I wore with my wedding band.
On our 10th, I had a right-hand family ring custom-made, with colored diamonds representing the birthstones of our family members (including dh and I).
For our 15th, I traded in the narrow anniversary band for a new one, similar style, but with larger diamonds.
Our 20th will be in a year and a half, and I'm thinking romantic trip more than jewelry.
For our 25th, though, I think I'd like a trip AND jewelry, hmm...
I understand the sentimental aspect of the rings, but isn't it more important to have a ring you love wearing, especially if you couldn't afford much at the time and/or your tastes have changed?
It's nice to have the originals melted down into something that can be worn in another way, or somehow incorporated into the new ring. A new ring that you love, presented to you on a milestone anniversary, can be a symbol of the years you have spent together and the memories you have made, and that is just as important (if not more important) than symbolizing the day you were married, IMO.
When you & hubby want two different houses
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I would vote for finding something you can agree on. At the same time, this is the house he applied for financing on, so that is the de facto house, unless he changes his mind (which he seems to have done). Sounds like cold feet to me.
I would go back to my tried and true pro/con list routine. There must have been plenty of reasons to buy this house in the first place, or he wouldn't have agreed to it. Is the commute the only reason against it? Is there really an equivalent house for the same price closer to his work? If not, you guys need to compare the pros and cons to the two houses, and weigh each one.
He is working to support the family, and if the commute will be an undue hardship on him, that needs to be given more importance than the room for a horse. However, you and dc are the ones spending all day, every day at this house, it is your workplace, your kids' school, and your home base. You will do a lot of commuting to activities, appointments, groceries, etc. and with kids in tow! All things being equal, I think your preference and concerns should be given a bit more consideration than his, since you are the one spending all your time there. As long as he realizes and accepts that, you should be able to come up with an acceptable compromise.