[Snow chains and other things to know about living somewhere cold]

Also, a shovel, cat litter, blankets, and food. If you do get stranded in nowhere South Dakota, you will be stranded for a while. 

The nice thing about South Dakota is the high speed limits, but those aren’t super helpful in the winter. 

[Snow chains and other things to know about living somewhere cold]

I-80 doesn’t go through South Dakota. I-90 goes from Sioux Falls to Rapid City, and I-94 goes from Minneapolis to Fargo.  I-90 from Sioux Falls to Rapid City is a whole bunch of nothing with limited cell service. I would only drive that in the winter if I knew for certain a storm would not occur and a storm hadn’t recently occurred. They will want to get gas at every stop In between, which is really only one stop once you are past Sioux Falls, if I remember correctly. Watertown, SD to Fargo, ND is the same, just a much shorter distance. 
 

I’m guessing someone from the southeast doesn’t know how to drive in snowy conditions.

[Solve this breakfast problem]

I eat Swiss cheese with ritz crackers every day on my commute to work, so that’s my vote. 

[Be grumpy! What do you think should be phased out?]

I think high school Homecoming and Prom royalty should be eliminated. What’s the purpose other than to cause drama? Our school had already eliminated Prom royalty, so we are half way there. 

All my high school kids have been Homecoming royalty (so far), and it’s really dumb. I went to a college football game during their Homecoming week, and they had royalty too. Once again, why? 

[Do you have a difficult time following football?]

3 hours ago, 2squared said:

#1 son - running back and linebacker
#2 son - left tackle (converted from running back) and linebacker
#3 son - running back/wide receiver and safety/corner

My #2 son has turned into a lineman, so I am learning that the real action is ahead of the ball. Each play’s success depends on the big guys opening holes for the running backs to run through or holding off the rush for the passing plays.  If my son does his job well, the ball and ball carrier travel through his hole. If my son doesn’t do his job, the ball and ball carrier get tackled very quickly. 

On defense, same thing. If the big guys hold the line, the linebackers are able to get to the ball and make tackles. If the big guys can’t hold the line, the ball moves forward before the linebackers can make the tackles. 

Hence the saying, “the game is won or lost at the line of scrimmage”

[Do you have a difficult time following football?]

#1 son - running back and linebacker
#2 son - left tackle (converted from running back) and linebacker
#3 son - running back/wide receiver and safety/corner

My #2 son has turned into a lineman, so I am learning that the real action is ahead of the ball. Each play’s success depends on the big guys opening holes for the running backs to run through or holding off the rush for the passing plays.  If my son does his job well, the ball and ball carrier travel through his hole. If my son doesn’t do his job, the ball and ball carrier get tackled very quickly. 

On defense, same thing. If the big guys hold the line, the linebackers are able to get to the ball and make tackles. If the big guys can’t hold the line, the ball moves forward before the linebackers can make the tackles. 

[Teen jobs (updated)]

My teens don’t work during the school year because their schedules don’t allow for regular work hours.

My teens work during the summer and they use that money for their year-round spending money, but they only have to fund social activities. If I wanted them to fund more, they would have to give up extracurriculars. We all have 24 hours in a day, and teens have to choose how to spend their hours too. I don’t know many (any?) teens who can pursue high level extracurriculars, achieve strong academic performance, and work regularly during the school year. 

[mailing a prescription medicine to daughter away at college]

Like others, we have prescriptions at B&M stores that exist at home and at school. For us rural dwellers, pharmacies aren’t an option, so we use Hyvee. Walmart could be another viable option for us.

I’ve found transferring prescriptions to be super easy and quick. I transferred prescriptions from a B&M pharmacy in my state to another B&M pharmacy across the country, and the transactions happened in less than 24 hours. We forgot to refill before vacation, so I ordered the day we left home and picked them up in the other state the next day. 

[First high school football game this week. . .]

18 hours ago, vonfirmath said:

Huh. This sounds like my son (including the touch part) -- we never tried team sports because he does so terrible in a team environment

In my world, wrestling is an individual sport with a team component. My wrestlers have individually competed in the high school state tournament but their teams have not qualified. My wrestlers have also competed individually in national tournaments in folk style, Greco, and freestyle wrestling outside of the high school season. So many options for a lot of sensory input nearly year-round!

[First high school football game this week. . .]

12 hours ago, ScoutTN said:I have a boy who absolutely thrives in contact sports and loves, loves, loves playing football. I would love it if he ran cross-country, but that is not the kid I have. Football has been integral to my son’s success in high school and I am thankful for it, despite the risks. 

My ultra-competitive oldest son is the same, and he started wrestling in 1st grade. Shortly after that, we were able to stop sensory therapy since wrestling filled his sensory needs. He was a star football player and star wrestler in high school, and he’s now wrestling in college. Turns out that being sensory seeking is very helpful in contact sports. I worry about how he will meet his sensory needs when post-college, but he should be able to find other competitive physical sports as an adult. 

[How often are you out of the house for teen activities?]

My teens are BUSY. They are in public high school, and they have sports practices or  competitions every day except Sunday. Between academics, sports, and some social life, they run out of time. None of them have worked or volunteered during the school year because they really, truly don’t have time for it. They do work during the summer, but even then, not full time. They still have a lot of extracurricular demands in the summer. 

So, that’s my one suggestion. Reduce or eliminate work and volunteer hours.

ETA: My teens get a car, a drivers license, and free gas the day they turn 16yo. Driving independence helps them and us immensely. 

[Nail colors for teens? Manicure tips for the totally inexperienced?]

My girls get their nails and toes done before school. I would I go professional, especially for her first day of public school. Min try to send my kids to school on their first day with as much confidence as possible, which means a new outfit, professional nails, etc. 

[Is it worth it to pay for pre-booked seats on a 12 hour flight?]

We are a family of 7 with one aisle seat person, 5 window seat people, and 1 who doesn’t care as long as he doesn’t sit by strangers. I always select seats for everyone in the family, and most of us prioritize our preferred seat type over sitting by family. The seven of us are usually in the same section of the plane, and if possible, I get seats in adjacent rows. 

My boys have long legs, so I buy the seats with more legroom for them. Regular seats are fine for the girls and me, but the boys have a difficult time with their knees jammed against the seat in front of them. 

[Unusual/off-the-beaten path, last-minute in Washington DC?]

We were in DC last month, and my kids are definitely not museum kids…which makes DC a tough trip. They are active kids, so their most favorite part of DC was riding the public scooters around. My feet wouldn’t have made it without the scooters!

Seeing the Supreme Court was pretty cool. 

You can request an Uber for six people. We are a family of seven, so we just used two Ubers each time and that worked well for us. 

[Need prayers, advice on public high school, and a good laptop bag :)]

3 hours ago, Halftime Hope said:

3 hours ago, MercyA said:

Yes about purses! Glad to have this confirmed. My daughter is in the habit of carrying one and I keep (hopefully gently) saying to her that I don't think many teens do that anymore. She does have a fanny pack that she wears while biking, etc.

I do wonder where girls keep their tampons, contact supplies, lip balm, hand sanitizer, brush...

So glad to know that Vera Bradley things are on trend for teens! Here is it mostly middle-aged women who carry them, but I am in a very rural area. 

I really appreciate everyone's input. 🙂 

We are very rural as well. Midwest very rural  

My girls wear their “fannies” like a crossbody bag, tight to their bodies. They do not wear them around their waists. They even have hook things to attach water bottles, keys, etc. 

If you are looking for a brand, My dd’s bought their Fanny packs at lululemon. I think they were about $35? I’m guessing that’s where most of the girls are getting them since lululemon is an on-trend brand in our area and all the fannies look exactly the same  

For carrying around chapsticks and such during school, my teens keep that stuff in their  lockers or backpacks in their lockers, both boys and girls. 

[Need prayers, advice on public high school, and a good laptop bag :)]

Our public school doesn’t allow backpacks or bags in the classrooms. Girls do NOT carry purses around school. I emphasize that since it would be very odd and off-trend to see a girl walking around with a purse. Very odd usually isn’t preferred by teens. The kids carry their books and stuff just like I did back in the Stone Age. 

none of the girls carry purses outside of school either. If they carry a bag, They carry Fanny packs slung over their shoulders. Often times, though, they just have their phones and no bags. We vacationed on the east coast a couple weeks ago, and we did not see the Fanny pack trend there. Both of my girls commented on iit right away. 

My daughters both use/isd colorful Vera Bradley backpacks and lunch bags in high school. They are trendy where we live. 

[Vacations with teenagers]

My teens’ favorite vacation was Puerto Rico. It has an international feel while being in the US, and so many active fun things to do! Swimming, beaches, surfing, rain forest (hiking, swimming in waterfalls, riding UTVs), snorkeling, zip lining and historical sites, shopping malls…really has everything a teen could possibly want!

[How much are your kids' student loans?]

10 minutes ago, Kidlit said:

I don't know about soul crushing, and having never had significant student loan debt (I did borrow about $2k for a computer--which I had forgotten until now--and then took advantage of a payment plan through the university for grad school, allowing us to pay it off by graduation), I can't speak to it personally.  I THINK the reason why so many people try to avoid it (& this is certainly true for us) is that the repayment generally comes at a time in a person's life when there are many other financial obligations for most people.  For example, I have a friend who is about to have to start paying on her loan after the deferment  (or whatever--I haven't been keeping up with all the details), on top of having two kids, a house, vehicles, and a husband whose job was tenuous there for a bit.  It was a lot of pressure.  Thankfully, the job is resolved for now, but they were looking at a loss of income on top of the loan.  I think stories like that (& worse) are what many of us take as cautionary tales.  (Also--the friend didn't finish college, and the job she currently has wouldn't have been helped in any way--practically or financially--by what she was studying.)

My dh knows a lot of peers with law school debt that is soul crushing. The payments are the size of a mortgage, and it limited the size of their families, where they live, and what jobs they can take in early adulthood which really has significant life-long impacts. We paid for his law school with cash, and we used to marvel at the life choices we could make that his peers couldn’t make. That comparison solidified our belief in not saddling our kids with large college debt. 

[How much are your kids' student loans?]

44 minutes ago, MEmama said:

Grandparents are generously picking up the tab for DS; we are paying for housing. Mentally I allocate my salary from my part time job to his housing and other needs; it's not totally necessary but it helps give me a reason to turn on my work computer every day, lol. 
 

My family is extremely anti debt when at all possible (and are in the position to make it possible) and I've adopted that value. I am extremely grateful that neither DH nor I had student debt and would do anything to make sure DS has the same debt free start to his adult life. DS works during the summer and whatever he doesn't put into savings we encourage him to use on travel.

We are similar. When we stopped homeschooling and I went back to work FT, I was determined to use the money to make my kid’ lives easier. Free college and extras were included in that. My kids do have money gifted from grandparents, and we encourage them to use that money on experiences. Travel is a top priority. 

[How much are your kids' student loans?]

So far, no loans. 

Rising senior - No scholarships, tuition + room & board @ no name state school ~ $20k/year ~ Paid with combo of parent and grandparent cash. 

Rising sophomore - Presidential scholarship & athletic scholarships at private regional school ~ $20k/year after the scholarships while he’s living on campus (freshman year), $25k/year while living off campus (sophomore+ years) ~ Paid with combo of parent and grandparent cash

Three more to go, and the plan is no loans for them either. We will be utilizing parent and grandparent cash as well as GI bill. 

We also provide them with a vehicle, health insurance, and phone. They pay for books, clothing, and extras/fun. Not sure yet how we would handle more than four years of schooling, especially for #2 since he will probably stretch out his college experience to five years for athletics. #4 is looking at schools across the country, so that’s an entirely different conversation as well. 

[How much do your just-graduated-from-college children make (esp in HCOL)?]

4 hours ago, Corraleno said:

I loved living in NM and would go back there in a heartbeat. Oregon and Washington also have some nice tax advantages: no income tax in WA and no sales tax in OR. Lower income folks are disproportionately affected by sales tax, so your money can stretch 6-10% further on a lot of basic expenses in OR compared to many other states. 

MN does not tax food or clothing, but state taxes are higher than average. 

[How much do your just-graduated-from-college children make (esp in HCOL)?]

8 hours ago, Bambam said:

I would be interested in this too. My youngest had a very well paid internship, enough to cover her expenses (major metroplex, AirBnBs are outrageous for short term, but cheaper than any other solution). It led to an after graduation job offer immediately, so that is a big advantage. She got college credit for it as well.  She even got a raise before she started working at the internship (to keep up with the current salaries). She is hoping she gets another raise before she actually starts her permanent job soon. 

My 21yo has an internship this summer in a city hours away from home and hours away from her school. She found an apartment to sublet over the summer. It’s close to a college campus, and one of the roommates had switched schools and moved out early. She had other offers with similar situations of college kids subletting for the summer. I found these options through connections from a Facebook group called “xxx university parents”.  It’s working out great.

ETA: I’m posting this as a suggestion for others in similar situations. 

[Basic culture literacy? Or, by homeschooling I've screwed up my kid.]

19 minutes ago, Farrar said:

I think the biggest thing you can do is not say no to or ban things that your kids specifically ask to see in order to connect to their specific peers unless you have a reason. Like, if their peers are all playing CoD at age 9, please feel zero guilt saying no. But if it's that they're all into a particular movie, video game, music artist, Tiktoker, etc. then I'd urge you to find ways to say yes, even if that means putting limits on it. 

I second what everyone is saying about how it's not TV shows these days very often. A lot of teens I know don't even watch TV at all. It's more fragmented. But cultural literacy happens naturally for kids when you don't restrict them too much. You don't need to do much.

 

This is my exact opinion as well. You don’t want your kids to feel like an outsider or for others to perceive them as an outsider.  That makes for a very long, lonely childhood. 

[S/O psych and math; non math majors]

18 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

we've encouraged all of our kids to do college,

but dh is also talking about how there is a huge demand for HVAC people, and they can make six figures.

We talk about that too, but I don’t see my kids headed in that direction. I worry about the physical stress of the Trades. Now that I am in the latter half of our lives, I am acutely aware of my physical limitations. 

[S/O psych and math; non math majors]

I’ll put in a plug for accounting. It’s not a huge $ career, but it’s pretty solid….and very little actual math required. I’m hiring 4year college degrees (so not able to obtain CPA) in a LCOL area at $60k. My senior accountants top out at about $90k.  I’m a senior accounting manager making $150k in the same LCOL area with nothing more than business math. Strong accountants know accounting rules (debits, credits, etc) and are logical thinkers. 
 

I think one of the secrets to “making it” financially is to figure out a way to make higher salaries in LCOL areas. I do that by working in a skilled discipline for a large company in a rural area. Dh does that with his law degree in the same rural area. The legal field is over saturated except in rural areas.