2squared
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Posts posted by 2squared
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Unfortunately, we're big dental users in this house. :sad:
So far this year, we've each had 2 cleanings, 1 set of xrays. $200/cleaning, $75/xrays = $1425
DS had to have a second appointment with the dentist and another set of xrays to take a closer look at a few cavities. $275
DH had 2 cavities, a root canal and a crown - lots of $$. $1500 for the root canal, $260 for each filling and $1300 for the crown
I needed to get a filling replaced - which required another set of xrays $260
Insurance covers cleanings and the first set of xrays and 80% of everything else (50% of crowns). So, I think it's worth it. It also covers 50% of orthodontics, which DS will need in the next year or so.
My only comment is that your dentist is much more expensive than mine (like more than twice as expensive), and he/she takes way more xrays than mine does. We only pay for one set of xrays every other year. He does not charge more to examine cavities. I wonder if your dentist has typical rates for your area?
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But, although they're super expensive, the coverage is mandated to be good. Here are our BCBS VT plans for next year. Dental is about $300/month on top of it. The plan we have this year is the gold standard. Next year, it's about $1850 +$300 for dental = $2150.
I can't image dental insurance is cost-effective at $300/month unless your family has a ton of dental needs every year. I price our dental costs with and without insurance every year, and a $300 premium wouldn't be worthwhile, even for my family of seven.
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Kids that age love parties. We throw as many gatherings as we can in jr high. I would e ecstatic to have my kid invited to both parties.
My oldest is 15yo and her friends have stated driving. They don't just hang or gather at our house like they used to, and I miss it. We used to have her friends we bet every Friday before home football games. Super fun!
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Depends on your school district too. Our 7th/8th grades (jr high) are in our high school. The local elementary school is in the same building as well. In 7th grade the local kids are joined by kids from a nearby town. Then in 9th grade the parochial students join.
My oldest homeschooled through 5th, went to the parochial school for 6th, and went public in 7th. She definitely needed the extra prep years before high school.
My second oldest homeschooled through 3rd, went to the parochial school for 4th-6th, and went public in 7th. As a gifted, organized student, he did not need the extra prep years. We do not have honors placement or any advanced academic options, but we were able to have him skip 8th grade math this year. His consistent performance on the standardized testing is starting to open academic doors that other kids do not have access to.
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I wouldn't expect the evening drive to be any better than the morning. Where I live, its completely dark at 5:00 so both directions of the drive would be at night. The morning drive would be at sunrise with light by the time of arrival and complete daylight for the return trip. Our plows are out for morning and evening rush hours, so I would expect clearer roads in the morning than in the night time return trip.
I hate driving in the dark in the winter, so I would pick the morning class and figure out the run. I would bet the cc has a gym too run in or even around the hallways.
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We definitely do sleepovers, but we try to limit the older kid sleepovers to only girls or only boys for the same night. The kids have to be dry over night before sleepovers start (my boys are late to do this).
This weekend dh took my 8th grader and three of his friends on a sleepover in Minneapolis. The saw the Twins Friday night and the Gopher football game on Saturday. Last night my 5th grader had a friend over and my 4th grader stayed at a friend's house. More of our sleepovers happen in the summer when the kids' schedules are more flexible.
I don't personally enjoy sleepovers, but I see it allows my kids to have deeper friendships. Also, it's just convenient a lot of the time with the older kids.
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I assume our kids will take out the max subsidized loans at around $5j/year. We will pay the rest through a combo of cash flow, savings, tax relief, and GI bill (split five ways).
Cash flow will come from either tightening our belts or, more preferably, one of us earning more. Dh makes a PT income now around $50k/year. We hope he can turn that into a FT income in the next free years. The other option is for me to get a promotion, but I prefer dh to step up. :) I've already given up pretty much all my childdraising dreams to be our breadwinner. :(
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Is lacrosse a thing where you are?
Lacrosse isn't a "no-risk" sport in terms of concussions (or other injuries), but you don't have the perpetual sub-concussive helmet-to-helmet contacts that are inevitable in football.
While not a direct replacement for football, lacrosse is a very fun and fast-moving game that has enough contact to make it attractive for boys who like to get physical. Personally, lacrosse filled the space left by football for my son (who is rather like his dad in enjoying contact sports). I'd say most of the boys on the lacrosse teams I've coached came to the game for the same reasons. They are families who would have been in football in past decades who are just saying no.
One great aspect of lacrosse is it can accommodate athletes of many body types. One need not be a "brute," and some of the best players are small fast guys.
Baseball...you know.
Bill
As a wrestling family, I would say wrestling has many of the same positives as football and lacrosse. They say, "once a wrestler, always a wrestler", and I can definitely see the sport makes a life-long impact on those who participate. It's clearly a sport that involves risk of injury.
For kids who need aggression outlets, lots of sensory input, and/or discipline, wrestling accomplishes all of it. And, it's an individual and team sport so you get the best of both worlds.
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My dh went to a lmid-ranked, affordable law school and graduated in the top 5 in his class. We paid for it with a combo of cash from my salary and tuition waivers from dh working for a prifesssor and from being on the Law Review.
After school he has clerked for federal and state judges, served as a FT JAG in the Air Force, was an assistant county attorney, and now splits his time with some court appointed work, public defense, and service as a JAG in the National Guard.
The only position that could support our family was the FT JAG, but we are forever fortunate that I refused to go into debt for law school. The salaries he has earned do not warrant large law school expenses.
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It's definitely not just tourists.
We lived in San Antonio for four years. Hispanic members of our Catholic church often asked to touch my white haired, blue eyed little toddler. They loved to rub his head. I thought it was sweet.
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Situational based for us, but our starting assumption is that our kids can ride with their friends immediately. If we don't approve of a driver or a destination, then we rescind that approval.
Most kids here start driving at 15yo with their farmers permits, and much earlier on their farms. Most kids have quite a bit of experience before they are 16yo.
My 15yo dd has 50+ hours of driving time now, and I wouldn't hesitate to let her drive her sibs or friends if she was a legal driver. She's driven in Sioux Falls, Minneapolis, and Omaha along with quite a bit of country/small town driving.
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I like driving my kids, so I usually do if they want to go with me. Lots of kids walk right by our house, so I know walking is common. We don't have sidewalks, but I live in little Mayberry so sidewalks aren't needed.
Today I drove three, one walked, and one was picked up by her boyfriend. Yesterday four walked and one ride a bike. We are very random.
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With one adult, I would select a hotel with a suite. Adult sleeps in the bed, girls sleep in the living room part of the suite.
This is our 10uo girl party - hotel overnight w/waterpark. It's was a hit with oldest dd and 5 friends.
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When I was little, think K, 1 and 2, so like 81, 82, 83ish, my private K-12 school with less than 500 students total had parties once a month for those grades I was in (I can't speak to how B-Days were handled in the older grades) These parties were for about an hour at the end of the day. We sang happy birthday to all kids that had birthdays that month. We got cupcakes and chocolate milk lol. We would play games like hangman, have a scavenger hunt for our classmates, things like that.
We also did a few other holiday parties each year like Halloween, Christmas etc. Halloween in particular we would do a whole afternoon party, everyone would bring something, everyone would serve their treat that they brought, with kids who didn't bring a treat having jobs like passing out the napkins, picking up the trash, etc. We would do a parade of costumes (in a Catholic school :-) ) In fourth or fifth grade, I don't think we had quite so many parties, though we still did the costume parade. I do remember one teacher helping a kid come up with a mask on the fly in fourth when he didn't have a costume for the parade.
BUT...that was about it. We also didn't have half days. And I remember going to school until like halfway through June, but not starting till after Labor Day. And I remember in 3rd, 4th, and 5th, the kids helped in the cafeteria. Every classroom took a week where instead of recess after lunch, or rather, before they went out on a shorter recess, the kids in the class had to do things like wipe off and put away the tables, the chairs etc. Spraying off the trays for the dishwasher, putting them away after they were washed, etc etc. I can't imagine schools making kids do things like that now a days.
The kids in our Catholic parochial school have jobs just like that. Jr high kids serve lunch and set up and take down tables and chairs. All grades have particular jobs, including recycling, garbage collection, etc.
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My 15yo is a lifeguard. Doesn't pay great, but she cannot interact when she's on duty since she's supposed to be watching swimmers. She loves it
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At our school, most kids buy the school lunch.
My 15yo dd uses a soft sided insulated cooler with reusable plastic containers. She might pack once or twice a week, mostly to make sure she gets a prime seat at lunch.
The only boys who pack lunches are the ones who have allergies, so my 13yo ds has never considered it. He does buy seconds most days. He doesn't seem to have issues with where he sits, but that might change with the new school year.
All kids at our schools have to eat in the lunch room at lunch tables. They have about 25 minutes for their lunch period. It is loud and chaotic.
Both kids take snacks to eat before their sports practices.
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We had a large desk that dh received from his grandma. It wasn't practical for any actual use and really just felt like a burden, but it was a very nice piece of furniture. I asked dh to saw off the legs to turn it into a coffee table. It's still beautiful, and now it blesses us every day rather than being a burden.
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We were in France and England last month, and athletic shoes were everywhere. I saw mostly Nike in England and more Asics in France, but Nike seemed to be a popular brand in both countries. Jeans everywhere too. I couldn't tell who was/wasn't a tourist other than their cameras, speech, and huge backpacks.
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Smart phones aren't just for kids' social wants. By the time my kids jr high, they use phones just like I use my smart phone.
They use maps and GPS. They use alarm settings and reminders. They research. They take pictures and videos. Their employers and coworkers communicate via group text. Their coaches and teammates send real-time updates via facebook and group text. Their classmates ask questions and discuss via group text and Snapchat.
IME, teens are mini-adults with very similar life tool needs as adults.
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Oldest two received iPhones for 7th grade at 12yo. I assume the next kid will be on the same timeline. I love my older kids having their phones.
My younger three have iPods. I group text/chat with all of them. I absolutely love how connected I am to them all, particularly since we are on the go and spread out most of the time.
iPhones allow private text conversation with my teens while they are in the middle of social situations. I have coached them through things in the moment rather than after the fact, and I just love having that extra parenting access. I'm sure I won't use it as much when they are older, but it has been very helpful in the early teen years.
I follow their social media accounts, and I have been able to coach those situations as well. I prefer them to gain new independence while I can coach them (and they are young enough to soak up the coaching) rather than waiting for such independence when they leave the nest.
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Nope, don't get those back, and if the books are too damaged, you then have to pay the full cost of the book as if it were brand new. I remember being in middle school decades ago and when we got our books, the teacher would take out a damage checklist and everyone would have to go through the books and note any damage that was already in them, like if someone had highlighted a bunch of stuff on a particular page. That way at the end of the year, you could go back and show that those pages were already highlighted before you got the book.
It never occurred to me to see about buying the book rather than pay the rental fee, and I am sure it hasn't really occurred to others either.
I buy a lot of my kids' textbooks to keep a copy at home. That way they don't have to haul a huge bag home or if their textbooks are electronic, they have the option to use a hard copy version. I always use the hard copy version when I help them study.
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Is he as equally weird about the floors in the house? Do you allow dirty people to walk all the house floors?
We only park a vehicle in the garage during huge snowstorms. I'm the summer it's filled with bikes, swim floaties, fishing supplies, and the lawnmower.
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I did not think it was "horrible" for them to want me to come and get her. But it did affect my view of the mom in a negative way, and it sounds like many would agree with me. It was very uncaring of her toward DD, at a time when I would have thought there was caring there. As the girl she has known for almost 2 years, as the girl her son loves, and just as a mom in general toward a young person.
You mention you don't like overnight guests. That was NOT the case in this family, as described by the BF, they routinely have people hanging out there and/or staying over if they are there late. So obviously it was an issue specifically to her being a GF.
Saying this would be an obvious thing for a family that values chastity is not accurate. I would say there are quite a lot of conservative people, both on this board and IRL, that value chastity but do not equate sleeping under the same roof under specific circumstance as encouraging or endorsing sexual behavior. I have already said I would not endorse it in an "entertainment" kind of way (just for fun). But this was a different circumstance. No, it was not a clear cut emergency. It was an uncomfortable and awkward situation. The inflexibility in that situation was disturbing to me.
You clearly have never had the problem of getting too sleepy to drive when you "didn't plan on it". Other people (as well as statistics) are telling you it is very real. I am getting annoyed by you continuing to insist that this is either a scam or that DD is somehow incomprehensibly stupid and maybe shouldn't be driving. She has been driving this route for 2 years with no problems and utmost responsibility. In addition to her previously being sick (and no, she was not sick right then that day, she wasn't spreading disease) there were some other circumstances involved regarding how this played out. And yes, we did discuss it, but I absolutely saw how the circumstances led to what happened. We talked about how to apply this in the future. She did not deserve to be shamed and embarrassed as she was. You may not believe it and can't let go of either suspicion or judgment about it. That's fine. I'm her mom, and I know what happened. I'm not going any further trying to explain it. But part of your assessment of this situation seems to be based on the idea that this was either a scam or just DD being stupid. Either way, nothing the mom should have any sympathy for. And frankly, if that is what the other mom was thinking, after knowing my daughter for 1.5 years, then I think my negative feelings toward her are completely justified.
ETA, for the record, even young people just being stupid sometimes still deserve sympathy... and grace.
Our little community is reeling from an 18yo accidental death last week. He was tired and instead of staying the night where he was, he decided to drive home. He then lost control of his car on a curve, rolled it, and died at the scene. I would much rather have a teen crash on my couch for the night than drive home tired or in bad weather or on nights known for drunk driving (New Year's), etc. I would also much rather have the teen stay the night than having their tired parent come get them.
I would be extremely disappointed if the other parents in my kids' social circle made decisions based on appearances. I don't give one hoot what busy bodies might think or say.
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Would you piggy-back a birthday party onto a Halloween party for a December birthday?
in The Chat Board
Posted
Like I said before, we host a lot of teen gatherings and I don't plan beyond hitting up the grocery store. If you have electronic gadgets, food, and music you are good. Add in movies and/or bonfire and you will have a night to remember. You don't need to plan anything for kids these ages!
Other ideas for your ds if he is interested: sports options (driveway basketball hoop, trampoline, etc if you have them), minute to win it games, board games (twister, conversation cards, etc)