Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

Lilymax

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    468

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Lilymax

    Boys claim "something" bothering them (ghost or something)

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Night terrors/sleep paralysis/sleep hallucinations. All extremely common in kids. All cause very vivid, very real hallucinations. My three kids had all had them. When my youngest was in the middle of one, we even called my older kids in the room to watch. He was seeing everything and anything. Things jumping out to get him. Things crawling on the wall, demons reaching out to grab him, you name it. They will generally outgrow it by their teens.

     

    http://www.nightterrors.org/

     

    My only thing about the night terrors is that it doesn't explain what her husband experienced. While wide awake...

    s/o cloth diapers: if you use/used them, did "big butt" cause problems?

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Yeah, it's been a problem in jeans and khaki-type pants. We use disposables when we're going to be away from home for more than an hour or so, so it's not a huge issue for us. At home and for shorter errands, I just put him in sweat pants. Our pocket dipes are definitely less bulky than prefolds with a cover, so I also use those at the times that he needs to wear pants.

     

    He's 2 and a little stripper, though...so even in winter, most of the time I'm lucky if I can keep a shirt on him at home. He always takes pants right off! LOL

    Best Slow Cooker cookbook?

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    :iagree:

     

    I love these and actually bought both books. There are a few more recipies that what's on the website, but it was more bacause I like flipping through the books and having them in the kitchen when I cook.

     

    http://www.amazon.com/Make-Fast-Cook-Slow-Everyday/dp/1401310044/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326593734&sr=8-1

     

    http://www.amazon.com/More-Make-Fast-Cook-Slow/dp/1401310389/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1326593734&sr=8-3

     

    :iagree:Every recipe I've tried of hers has been awesome! Even salmon filets--in the crock pot! Crazy, but they were amazing!

    Parents who have adopted - tell me about it

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Are any children really grateful to their parents? Maybe not until they're grown up. Any parent who expects their child to be grateful for whatever - the sacrifices parents made for thm, etc, whether the child is adopted or not - is going to be disappointed.

     

    I think this is so true. I grew up hearing all the time what an ingrate I was...I can remember even when I was young, thinking on some level how wrong it was of my mom to expect extraordinary gratitude from me and my sisters. So even with adopting a child, I don't expect that she would owe me anything for "rescuing" her, as others sometimes see adoption to be.

     

    Honestly, in our family, it has just always felt like someone is missing...maybe more than one "someones." I admit that I would love to have a girly-girl to do girl stuff with, but if she's a total tomboy, well...she'll fit in just fine with the boys in the family! LOL And I'll just pray that maybe I'll have a girly granddaughter someday.

     

    I am definitely in the "if it's meant to be, it'll happen" camp. I've seen that prove true far too many times in my life to not trust it now. :)

    Parents who have adopted - tell me about it

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Uganda! It sounds like you have several contacts. I do have a few more, if you're interested. My friend Sara, has adopted from Ethiopia and Uganda and is a beautiful writer. Here's her blog: http://everybitterthingissweet.com/

     

    And my friend, Kate, is going back to Uganda to work with a ministry called Lifeline: http://hisdaughterhislily.wordpress.com/

     

    Please keep me posted as you move through this!

     

    I have been to Sara's blog, many times! :) I will also check out the other one--thank you!

     

     

    Thanks so much! Lots of fun reading tonight. :D

    Parents who have adopted - tell me about it

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    I will be watching this thread with great interest, as we are seriously, prayerfully considering adopting a girl from Uganda. A pastor friend runs a small orphanage there and knowing him has made us acutely aware of the orphan crisis in that nation. It's truly mind-boggling what they are dealing with. The children he cares for have really touched our family's hearts--even DH, who previously had no real interest in adoption. Now he's all on board! :)

     

    I found out that it's possible to adopt from Uganda without using an agency and so ultimately, the costs would be lower. My biggest concern, though, is the whole homestudy process; whether we will be considered wealthy enough to adopt. We aren't heavily in debt, but we did have to foreclose on a home several years ago (long story behind that) and don't have much in savings...I worry that we'll spend a lot of money starting a homestudy, then be turned down for financial reasons. I plan to rectify the savings issue through saving all my freelancing income this year and would also have fundraisers to help pay the travel and legal costs.

     

    Of course, the irony is that by Ugandan standards, we are abundantly rich and could offer a child a stable home life with lots of opportunities. Ideally, I'd bring home two girls since we have all boys...every girl needs a sister! :D But I can't imagine our income would be deemed sufficient for two additional kids--even though I am frugal and we make ends meet just fine.

     

    I'd love to do this but agree--getting started is a bit overwhelming and scary...

    borderline personality disorder horror stories? s/o fake cancer

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Well, as the one who shared the fake cancer incident, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if some found anything I said offensive. Honestly, I didn't do much self-editing when I posted...I probably did sound like I was bashing NPD people, but of course it wasn't meant to bash everyone who's ever had a mental illness. It was about my SIL.

     

    If I sounded angry, it's because I am very angry at those who've hurt me and people I love, yes, even those that I know do so out of various degrees of mental illness. I recognize that my anger is just that, mine, and something that I have to work through.

     

    As others have better articulated, it's just plain hard. It's hard when you feel like your entire lifetime with certain people has been spent doing nothing but extending grace and getting abuse in return. You get tired of it. You feel bad for them, on some level, but at some point, you reach your limit of coping with it.

     

    I shared the experience with my SIL here because, as I told my DH earlier tonight, I've never known a forum like this one where so many are familiar with these types of disorders and how devastating it is to deal with them. I am thankful for the helpful links and book suggestions that have been shared.

     

    On another note, I also battle with how much is the illness and how much is choice.

     

    It's all just so very hard to live with.

    Those who deal with narcissists will sympathize this post

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Wow...the stories in this thread...it's just unbelievable the things that people do to each other! It's so sad! :confused:

     

    Thanks to all who replied...no, MIL isn't NPD. She's definitely in the "enabler" camp, though. She divorced SIL's and DH's father (the other narcissist) when the kids were very young because she couldn't handle his crap or his mother's, another NPD nutball. He is no longer in our lives, either.

     

    As I said, I have a long, long list of stories about my SIL, but we've basically had nothing to do with her since an awful incident three years ago, where she totally used me and my family. After she sucked us dry, she moved back to her mom. DH and I blew up at MIL, asking WHY she keeps letting her use her like that. She just said it's because she loves her daughter, and said that we would do the same for any of our kids.

     

    It's hard to say...I'd like to think DH and I have more backbone than that, and believe too much in the power of Tough Love to ever be so blatantly used, but, I have not parented a mentally-ill adult. So what do I know?

     

    SIL's divorced three times, with one grown daughter who threw her out after living with her just a few months, and one 11-ish year old autistic child that she recently lost custody of to the boy's father because of educational neglect. (She "homeschooled" him and refused to have him evaluated for his autism.) The dad's ability to parent is only marginally better than SIL's, but at least he's not a narcissist.

     

    I wish I knew how to convince MIL to cut the ties with SIL, because she's a kind-hearted woman and it makes us angry to see her being abused for so long. They all live 400 miles away so it's not like we're right there to do anything to help strengthen her to fight back.

     

    Anyway...thanks for listening and for offering your advice.

    Those who deal with narcissists will sympathize this post

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    (I can't even type...I meant "will sympathize WITH this post...) LOL

     

    MIL called yesterday to tell us that SIL has cancer.

     

    Now, SIL (and FIL, and HIS mother) are all classic NPDs--I could write novels full of the carnage the three of them have created within DH's family through the years.

     

    Though I don't like SIL, at all, I felt terrible for her and immediately asked people to pray. I also asked for prayer for MIL, who would have to care for SIL through a major abdominal surgery to remove the cancer--no easy task, since MIL has a very full plate already.

     

    And, MIL would have to pay for everything because SIL has no insurance. SIL's considered herself too disabled to work for years now, even though she's been denied disability benefits several times, and her only work before involved sitting at a computer. (Ironic that she can't sit at a computer for pay anymore, considering that she spends every day and night sitting in front of a computer, playing games on Facebook while MIL keeps her housed, clothed and fed.) :glare:

     

    Anyway...MIL went to the doctor with SIL yesterday and discovered that the whole "cancer" thing was a lie. To say that MIL is upset is a huge understatement. I feel so bad for her, so mad at SIL, and just disgusted that anyone would go to those lengths to get attention.

     

    Even though I've dealt with an NPD mom my entire life, it still floors me the degree to which these people can just manipulate others with no remorse or concern for anyone else's feelings.

     

    I think if I were MIL, I'd have to high-five my daughter. In the face. With a chair...and then check her into the mental institution within which she belongs. :glare:

    Wells Fargo mortgage--looking for good and bad experiences

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    Another bad experience with WF. I, too, will never voluntarily deal with them again. Our situation was similar to a PP...basically, due to a very long story, we ended up needing to short sale. We had one of the best SS experts working for us, a friend of ours, and WF would not work with us at all. She said that they were the worst ones when it came to customer service...just like the PP, they kept losing documents, saying they never got them, etc. It was like they just wanted to foreclose. Lots of other details that I won't bore you with, but we despise WF.

    Narcissism: You all have given me a lot to think about-

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    I think they don't ever realize how manipulative they are, or that their behavior can change so dramatically from person to person.

     

    Oh, that is SO true! My mom is truly convinced that she treats all of her daughters equally and fairly. And what's funny is that she hates other people who show NPD tendencies...we all giggle behind her back that the reason she hates them is that they are JUST LIKE HER! :lol:

     

    I was looking at a site last night for daughters of NPD moms and there was a list of movies and TV shows featuring narcissistic characters. One was Marie from "Everybody Loves Raymond." My husband and I often watch that show, and my older two boys, whenever they've seen it, have said, "Marie reminds me of Nana!" Which is hilarious because they obviously have no clinical knowledge of NPD, but they sure know what it looks like!

×
×
  • Create New...