[Johnny Depp Defamation Lawsuit]

I think they’re both attention-seeking awful people and that they abused each other. I don’t actually think one was worse than the other and I don’t feel either deserve any sympathy. 

[How common are some of the primary factors... (clarification)]

I was 3 for 3 in the poll.

I was on birth control for my pregnancies and they definitely weren’t planned. My first pregnancy was scary and I even had to ask dh to save the baby over me if it came to it. Thankfully it didn’t.

My assaults happened at ages 9 and 18. I’m actually usually very pro life for myself but even I can see where there is no way I could have added a pregnancy after either of those incidents. 

[Just Venting - I HATE HIPPA privacy laws]

Ds, 22, can handle all of his medical stuff on his own except dealing with the insurance company. Every single three months when he needs to get his prescription refilled, they deny it. Every single time. He’s been taking it since he was 18. He tries to handle it on his own but it takes me calling and being an absolute jerk to get it done. I’m hoping his after college job comes with better insurance so he can not have to ask for my help (he hates having to ask too). 

[Heartstopper — no spoilers]

We binge watched it last weekend. Loved it!

[Is it crazy to downsize right now?]

1 hour ago, Spryte said:

Oh, good point on the tax implications. I’ll have to check into that.

I’m a little worried that housing prices will continue to rise while we are deciding what to do/where to go.

We sold our home last year and there aren’t any tax implications on not purchasing another anymore. We’re not planning to buy again for several years. The only restrictions were how much we made on the sale. I think it’s not more than $500K for married couples and not having sold another home in the previous two years. 

[Advice about sending a letter to public school admin about locker room policies]

I’m surprised this is still a thing in schools. My dc are both adults now but their middle and high schools all allowed students to use the stalls if that is what they preferred. This was in two different states as well, so I just thought this was a thing of the past. Neither of my dc would have changed in front of other students so it would have been a huge deal for us. 

[ASD Club?]

I’m interested.

[s/o: Retiring vs Back to Work: What about Dad?]

27 minutes ago, LMD said:

I presumed the stay at home wife would still 'work' doing all the things that ease the husband's ability to work and come home to a comfortable life. Probably would also take care of his parents.

Dh has two of his six siblings actually fighting over who gets to take care of his parents at the moment. That will definitely not fall to me. I lost my own dad unexpectedly 22 years ago and my sister has already said she will be the one that takes care of my mom. I started to feel lazy only doing those ‘work’ things that make it a bit easier for Dh. He can actually do those things and I can work so he doesn’t feel solely responsible for us (which I think is healthier for him long term). 

[s/o: Retiring vs Back to Work: What about Dad?]

I’ve recently gone back to school in the hopes I can also go back to work soon so it isn’t all on Dh. He’s always been a very involved husband and father even while working outside the home and I don’t think it’s fair for me to expect him to just keep doing it all while my role has changed drastically.  It honestly isn’t that much for me to keep doing the stuff I’ve always done minus taking care of kids. Dh also was a stay home parent in the beginning while I worked so it’s not like he hasn’t done it all. I can do more so I plan to. I didn’t always feel this way but as we get older I don’t want it all to fall on dh. 

[Wedding complaints]

Ds is getting married next year and it will be very small. Actually smaller than I was hoping as I thought grandparents would be invited, but nope. ☹️ I’m sure it will be lovely though.

They are renting an Air Bnb in the city, having Dh officiate, and only parents and our youngest are invited. They’re planning on a small cake and want a photographer but that’s it. I don’t know what the attire will be yet but I know they’re not going the traditional route so I’m sure it will be fun. 

[Do you let people lie to you? Update sort of]

My only line in the sand for adult children living at home is if they are doing something illegal. So, my kids basically never lie to me and share way too much. 🤪 

[Give perspective on this trans issue I'm dealing with. Religious and secular wanted.]

I thought I’d chime in to say that while I did tell my family for ds (only 16 at the time though), it did take me a bit. Dh had told his family months before I was able to tell my own. Ds understood thankfully and we had many discussions about it being ok to take a while with his therapist. When I did tell my family, I sent a group email. Then, I unplugged for the rest of the day and didn’t even begin to deal with the reactions for 24 hours.

 So, I don’t think you have to do it but it would obviously be helpful since they asked. Since you have until Thanksgiving to deal with it, maybe it’s something you could eventually do as you’ve had more time to process it all. 

[Student Loan Forgiveness]

50 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

Yes, you are teaching your kids that. But not all kids have someone to teach them that, and certainly in years past they didn't. Often these are first of their family to go to college, or come from hard backgrounds. DH's father died when he was 4, his mother was mentally ill and on disability and had never given good advice in her life (her idea of financial planning was to consult a psychic), he had dropped out of highschool to work to keep the lights on and make sure his much younger brother didn't end up homeless and later got a GED. He is not alone, not by a longshot. And at that time, the constant refrain was that educational debt was "good debt" and an "investment". He had no background to understand that the people in the financial aid office were lying to him and manipulating him. You don't know what you don't know. 

Yep! Neither of my parents went to college and were no help at all with their kids. It wasn’t their fault. My brother was luckier than my sister and was able to pay his off due to an inheritance his wife received. I don’t get along with my sister at all but she wasn’t  careless with her money and didn’t go somewhere crazy expensive. Some truly just can’t get out from under their student debt and I have zero issue with the government helping.

[Student Loan Forgiveness]

I’m kind of for them paying off student debt for those who have been paying 20-25 or more years. I know many who are still paying and it’s not because they’ve been burning through their money. My cousin is still paying 20+ years later but five years after graduating she had a baby and they almost lost him. Lots of NICU time and the hospital bills were outrageous. My sister is still paying 20+ years later but she’s never been married, no kids, very little traveling (and that’s just to see family), and never owned a home. Both of them are elementary school teachers and I think they just get paid so little it’s been difficult. 

I say that as someone who paid off my loans, dh’s loans, and just recently paid off ds’ as a graduation gift. I don’t really have a problem with the government helping others with it even if we were able to do it ourselves. 

[Oscars/Will Smith]

6 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

I have not read every reply, but as The Slap is being covered everywhere still, it’s been on my mind. 
 

I’ve been wondering, what would the reaction have been if it had actually been Jada to quietly walk on stage, slap Rock, and walk off. Seems to me that would have been a whole different discussion. 

I would still think it was horribly wrong. A woman slapping him isn’t any different to me.

[Oscars/Will Smith]

I will be honest and say based on the stuff WS and JPS put out there voluntarily, I wouldn’t think a joke about hair/hair loss would be a big deal.

I still think the joke was awful (and I really dislike many comedians today) but maybe the couple in question should give people a list of what is and isn’t acceptable at this point because they have made it seem like nothing is off limits.

[Oscars/Will Smith]

1 minute ago, teachermom2834 said:

So I absolutely love my family and I’d do anything for my kids including jump in front of the proverbial train for them. But I wouldn’t punch someone who insulted them. 
 

Does that make me weak? I love them less? This whole thing just doesn’t even compute for me. 

No, it doesn’t make you weak. I also don’t think many kids would want that anyway. Ds asked us long ago not to even say anything when someone is offensive to him in public because it just draws more attention. I definitely wouldn’t have a problem having words with those who say that horrible stuff to him but I would never physically hurt someone over words.

[Oscars/Will Smith]

I didn’t like the joke. There are several comedians who I think are way offensive but they still get quite a bit of a support and I wish they didn’t. But, I think what Will Smith did was more out of line and I would be beyond angry if my Dh did something like that.

 

[N/m]

.

[Phi Beta Kappa?]

Is this a big deal? Just something to put on a resume?

Ds received an email a bit ago that he was elected by faculty members to join and there’s an induction ceremony next month. He’s going to do it but I was just wondering about what it really is.

 

[Can we talk about unmasking?]

We’ve been eating indoors for a few months so I have no problem not masking. We’ve also been getting together indoors with family/friends for a while now. Our county was the only one in the state that even still had a mandate until this month so many places we went had very few masking anyway. 
 

ETA: I wanted to add that we’re all vaxxed/boosted.

[How are gas prices impacting your life?]

It’s not affecting us. We only have one car, we can walk to the store and restaurants, and Dh works from home so we rarely fill up as it is. We’re moving a few hours away soon so that will require filling up the car and Uhaul. We’re moving into the city though so once there we will be driving even less than we are now.

[How did elder care used to work?]

My parents took care of my grandparents and my cousins took care of/are taking care of my aunts and uncles. I remember going to lots of doctor visits with my favorite grandma.  My mom is heathy right now but she is taking complete care of her much older husband, and my siblings and I will work something out to take care of her when she needs it. No one in my family has ever gone into a nursing home but none have had things like Alzheimers either. We’ve just always found a way to have someone with them.

[What do you think of, say, liquor stores pulling Vodka?]

I would think it would make no difference to Putin but might to Ukrainians. It might also just be about making those business owners feel better about what they’re selling. 

[Things you can't post on facebook (not political)]

I haven’t heard about or seen any of this. I did recently put out quite an angry post about the TX gov and might have written things very unlike me but it’s all still there with no warnings or anything. I’ve seen a few post some crazy things over the past year about Covid and now Russia but no censoring that I can tell.