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1234

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Posts posted by 1234

  1. I’m not going to back through and search all the posts, but in like the last 24 hours I’ve seen things written such as:

    - brainwashed, deeply unhealthy, manipulated, controlling, narcissistic…

    These words are being used to describe people who are just like our own kids. I can’t believe anyone wonders why some of us think this topic of conversation should die here on these boards. It’s the same garbage every time when it could be so much better. And, yes, I keep participating when they unfortunately pop up because I do get messages from other people here saying I’ve helped them or thanking me. So, I feel like I have to, but I would be happy if it just wasn’t a thing here.

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  2. My ds is getting married this fall and they also wanted super small but not just a courthouse thing. They were looking into the local arboretum and a nature conservatory that both offered some small indoor or outdoor spaces that weren’t crazy expensive. Several were between $500-$1500 for a few hours. They settled on an indoor space that’s all windows looking out over the grounds for $1000/2 hours. The actual ceremony will not be long but it allows for all the pictures to be done there as well without rushing. Then, we’re also just going to a local place to eat together. 

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  3. 1 minute ago, KSera said:

    So fascinating to me! This is actually really encouraging for me to hear. The  parents I know of young teens just now trying on trans identities (every one of which has been accepted by the parents I know) I have gotten the idea are unlikely thinking about any medical or health implications and I have been hopeful maybe this younger generation coming up behind will not find the medical stuff necessary. That would be progress in a positive direction. 
     

    For college age and young twenties trans kids I know, surgery and hormones are usually part of what they are either doing or plan to do as soon as they can. 

    My trans son is 23 and my non binary dc is 21, but they aren’t doing surgery and only one has tried hormones. The majority of their friends of the same age are the same. So, maybe it’s more about where you live than age? IDK, it’s interesting. 

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  4. Just now, PronghornD said:

    This conflicts directly with the idea mentioned earlier that calling kids by their new name and pronouns makes it more likely that they will medically transition. Or maybe I am misremembering that post.

    No, that’s something that was stated. I’ve been told it here many times as a reason minors shouldn’t be allowed to even socially transition. It just doesn’t play out that way in my circles or in my own family.

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  5. 4 minutes ago, Quill said:

    Feel no obligation to respond to my question below; I am using your post as a jumping off point. Anyone can respond or not respond. 
     

    What does it mean for relationships when people do not have the reproductive organs or genetic information anticipated by their social presentation? Do people in this category only seek relationships in groups where that’s unlikely to cause an issue (such as in a LGBTQIA club or group or through dating apps)? 

    My dc are very open about who they are. They’ve never felt a need to hide it. All they want is people to respect it and let them be. So, my son met his fiancé while dating a friend of hers. She always knew he was trans as does anyone who actually knows him.

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  6. My son opted for testosterone at 18 after two years of therapy but has decided not to pursue any surgery. He’s actually recently even stopped testosterone to see how he feels about it now that we live in a much more accepting, comfortable place.

    The biggest help to him was socially transitioning at sixteen. He’s changed everything (name and sex) legally and he’s not changing his mind that he’s trans, but maybe socially transitioning is enough. My non binary dc had never been interested in hormones or surgery-just socially transitioning. That’s how it is for most trans young adults we know.

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  7. 33 minutes ago, PronghornD said:

    I have talked about this with my kid, and they think that doing away with stereotypes would not change things, at least not for them. They would still experience a sense of being in the wrong body.

    Yes, my son is trans and it has nothing to do with gender roles. He has long hair, sometimes will wear makeup and feminine clothes because he thinks gender roles are dumb, and he’s just going to do/wear what’s comfortable.

    He honestly just wants to be left alone at this point. He’s graduated college and is getting married this year but there are people who actually think they should have a say in who he is and what he does. Last year my husband left a job of ten years and we moved states because of anti trans garbage. So many we know can’t do what we did though. I think some just don’t get it and I’m so tired of it all.

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  8. On 1/16/2023 at 4:50 PM, Joker2 said:

    I decided I would like to go back to work but didn’t think anything would come of it. I haven’t worked since oldest was born, so it’s been 23 years, and I only have an AA degree that I got while homeschooling them years ago.

    I have three phone interviews this week already so I’m pretty excited! Two of them are in HR, which is what I did before kids, and one is a medical receptionist. I might not get any of them but at least I wasn’t completely ignored since I’ve been home all this time. 

    Quoting myself to update that I was offered, and accepted, a job today!!! It’s a medical receptionist/patient rep position less than two miles from my house and my hours are 6:30am - 3pm (M-F only) which is perfect for me. I had two phone interviews and one in person. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to find something after so long and am beyond excited.

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  9. So, I lost mine with the flu about ten years ago. Mine has not really ever come back. I can smell and taste some things (coconut, cinnamon, and blueberries) but I’m honestly not sure if I just think that’s how they used to taste and smell or if its real. Most things just taste and smell weird and off. It was really hard at first but I’ve gotten used to it now and am rather ok with it. My doctors all said it was rather common with viruses.

    I hope yours is short lived and returns completely normal.

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  10. I decided I would like to go back to work but didn’t think anything would come of it. I haven’t worked since oldest was born, so it’s been 23 years, and I only have an AA degree that I got while homeschooling them years ago.

    I have three phone interviews this week already so I’m pretty excited! Two of them are in HR, which is what I did before kids, and one is a medical receptionist. I might not get any of them but at least I wasn’t completely ignored since I’ve been home all this time. 

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  11. @Terabith, I have an issue with trusting my mother as well. After she decided to start talking to me again, our relationship is very superficial because I’m waiting on her to just do it again. It will never be the same and we also moved away not long after. It stinks and I don’t see how it could be any different either. 

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  12. None of my dc are estranged from me and I’m not estranged from my mom. I am estranged from my siblings because my adult dc do not want a relationship with them (for very valid reasons). For a time, my mom wouldn’t speak to me because of the same reason but it only lasted a few months.

    The thing is, everyone my siblings know (including extended family) have been told I’m the bad guy and the estrangement is solely because they won’t accept my dc being part of the LGBTQ community. I say nothing to whole parts of my family anymore because they believe it’s all my fault and just a result of differing values. The truth is my siblings have decided I’m at fault for my adult dc and I’m apparently a worthless connection to have if my kids aren’t a part of the package.

    I’ve decided after two years that I’m definitely better off without them - and I’ve realized how absolutely amazing all of my in laws are, so that’s a win.

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  13. I’m going to try YNAB for the one month trial and see how it goes. We don’t live paycheck to paycheck but I do think I could get a better handle on some expenses and save more. I already canceled two subscription services I didn’t realize I was still paying while setting it up for next month! I am concerned I will tire of it because my bank won’t allow me to sync with the software so I have to do it all manually. We’ll see how it goes. 🤷‍♀️😁

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  14. 11 minutes ago, Lawyer&Mom said:

    I have it all: hEDS, orthostatic intolerance, MCAS, Autism…. And yet I lived my whole life without any diagnoses, until fought for an Autism diagnosis at 38.  I do think all those dancers could have hEDS.  I think there are *a lot* of undiagnosed cases.  It can be severely debilitating, it can also just be low grade but constant pain and fatigue that people assume is normal because they don’t know any other way.   Chronic conditions can be sneaky like that!

     I didn’t know hEDS was even a thing until someone on this board mentioned it as a possible comorbidity after my Autism diagnosis.  Now I know that nearly everyone on one side of my family has it.  I’m sure there are many families like mine that still have no idea. 

    My ASD kiddo didn’t realize their pain wasn’t normal until they asked a question a specific way at age sixteen. I’ve watched this dc deteriorate since they were twelve (they are now 21). It’s been awful.

    They have also been diagnosed with POTS and hEDS. We’re heading back to the pain specialist next week because I think there are some nerve issues causing a lot of the pain in one leg. Physical therapy has helped so much this year but this one leg of theirs prohibits them from doing so many things because dc is in so much pain. 

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  15. 2 hours ago, DawnM said:

    I told him tonight that it was ok to go ahead and go see Jesus.   I told him that we will be ok.   I honestly don't think he heard any of it, but the nurse told me to say it, so I did.

    I’m so sorry. I remember telling my own dad almost 23 years ago that it was ok to go. It was so difficult. Many good thoughts, prayers, and gentle hugs sent your way from me. I’m praying he passes peacefully.

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  16. 32 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

    In the South tho??? This is SOP. HR leaks like a sieve.

    😆 In my 20’s, I went from being a HR Manager in Texas to one in California. In TX, I was everyone’s friend but in CA I was allowed no friends because we could share nothing. So, friends were fired with no warning. It was awful but I understand it now. 

    OP, I hope you get it worked out and receive some help. 

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  17. 1 hour ago, ktgrok said:

    I just keep thinking, as I read of these temps/windchills/etc, "that...that is not habitable for humans."  But I'm sure a lot of y'all think the same about Florida in the summer. But man...my brain can't even begin to comprehend those temperatures. I never want to live in a place where the weather can kill me in less than an hour!

    See, we lived ten years in Florida and purposefully moved to the Midwest to escape the heat and enjoy the cold. None of us wanted another FL summer. Here, we spend more time outdoors year round because we just bundle up in the winter. 

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  18. Mine are 21 and 23 and the biggest hit is still Lego. 🤪 I’ve started getting Christmas themed ones and before long we’ll have a whole Lego village. Youngest received a cat stress ball in their stocking they haven’t put down all day as well.

    No misses here. It’s been a fun, relaxing day. I keep thinking every Christmas will be the last we’re all together since they’re older but we’ve just added ds’ fiancé to the festivities and they’re all still spending the day with us. 

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  19. We don’t use ribbons and bows, so don’t keep those. When the kids were little, I started buying each their own wrapping paper and they’ve always enjoyed it so it’s just something I’ve always done. I’m kind of tired of it now, though. 😬 I’m planning to make everyone reusable gift bags that will be used for many years starting next year. I’m going to pick out fabric for each so they still have their own unique wrapping, but it won’t change anymore every year obviously. They don’t know this yet but I think they’ll like it since it will mean less waste. I’m kind of excited to pick out the fabric and make them.

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