annandatje
-
Posts
1,716 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by annandatje
-
-
-
Google has a terrific security feature where you can see IP addresses that have accessed your account. If you are much of a vagabond, it can be a minor inconvenience. I have given them my cell number several times to verify account but have never gotten marketing calls as a result.
-
Anyone here try to do a foreign language while in the car?
We did Powerglides tapes and workbooks in car.
-
Thanks for posting the link.
-
... I've had more than enough ppl try and tell me that I could nurse, that I can do without the meds, that I'm being selfish and denying my baby what's best, that obviously he's not as important to me as my older kids are, otherwise I'd suck it up and nurse. ... Its really hurtful.
I am sorry that you encountered misguided people who allow ideology to prevail over humanity. Unfortunately it seems to be rather common. I once knew a woman who seriously stated that she could not continue friendship with a woman who chose not to nurse her baby.
-
Just one more insecure parent living vicariously through their child. Some parents push their tykes to fly planes, to swim endurance-style, and hosts of other endeavors the parent either failed at or fell short.
I agree with whomever called it for what it was: exploitation. It may have been cute if the child was doing an imitation all in fun.
As a ten year old, one of my cousins performed a terrific impression of his hellfire brimstone fundamentalist storefront preacher uncle. He had his uncle's facial contortions, voice inflections, drawing in of breath, and pulpit pounding down to a tee. His pious old grandma, who had dozed off while watching soap operas, woke up to his "preaching." She yelled that he was blaspheming and hurled a shoe in his direction. He ducked quickly as the shoe smacked into her mobile home window.
-
How uplifting! I hope she continues on the path of opening up to love and trust.
-
Well, I don't know how narcissistic your mom is so this may not work. We had this problem with dh's dad when he was alive. All he would ever talk about was dh's older brother, his favorite child which he made no bones about. It went on ad nauseum. Oh, he liked to complain a plenty about his dear wife too.
Finally dh made a habit of every time his dad brought up the brother and family to say, "Hey dad. We are here to visit you. We have a family and they are important to us. You seem completely uninterested in us. I do not want to talk about my brother all the time. So, if you'd like to know what's going on with us and be a part of our family, then great. I certainly am not going to listen to anymore complaints about mom. I'm not your marriage therapist and she's my mom and I love her. If you only want to complain about mom and talk about J, then maybe we don't need to talk very often."
It took a few times and dh refusing to speak with him on the phone once saying he preferred to talk to his mother because she was at least interested in our children. After that, he stopped going on and on about "the perfect child" and his witch of a wife (who by the way is a lovely woman.
Faith
Excellent advice. I believe that if the above advice is strictly followed, including not talking often if person persists, the problem Imp has presented will be solved.
-
I know there are many of you here on the board that suffer daily with some sort of chronic illness...and yet you still manage to homeschool. I've prayed for many of you and have hesitated to post about my own "chronic" illness b/c it just seems so "trivial" in comparison. Many of you know I've suffered with depression for many, many years (in reality I've lived over 25 of my 39 years with this disease). I have come to terms with it in the sense that it will always be a part of my daily life. Some days are good. Some days are bad and some days are impossible. I believe I suffer from a form of bi-polar (as do all my other siblings and my father :(). I've taken medication for depression for years now. Most will work for a while and then lose their effectiveness. Some have side effects worse than the disease itself. I'm not on meds anymore. I needed to cleanse my body of all the chemicals just to "remember" what I was like without them. Does that make sense? What I am finding: My "mania", as I suspected, manifests itself in extreme irritability/rage, short temper, frustration, anger, etc. My depressions can become very dark. I have a lot on my plate besides dealing with this (I've been reminded of this by several people). My children are not easy to teach. Out of my 7, I think I have 3 that are compliant and don't give me much "flak" about schoolwork. My 14yo dd has become impossible to deal with. Her tantrums and meltdowns are daily now. She isn't getting anything done as far as I can see. My 10yo continues to be difficult and my 8yo's reading difficulties and fatalistic personality drive me to tears. If you've read this far, God bless you. There is a question here. HOW do you homeschool your children without feeling like you are doing them a disservice? I called my pastor's wife (a good friend) to "vent" about my daughter's meltdown and my 10yo's defiance. She immediately told me to put them all in school asap and just admit defeat (in a nutshell). :confused: In no other area of life do people just tell you to "give up" after a few rough days! But with homeschooling, it seems to be the default..."just put them in school and focus on yourself". I don't want to be stubborn. I pray about this every day but I still feel "called" to homeschool! Public school is not a good fit for dd14 and I don't want to "label" my 10yo and 8yo as "behind". How do you do it? We use HOD...very simple (except I have to teach 3 different guides...but that isn't too difficult once you work out the schedule). My pastor's wife made me feel like I was ruining my kids by keeping them here. The atmosphere around my home is TENSE most days...how can it not be? My house is not spotless. In fact it gets to looking like a PIT by Friday! My dh travels a LOT! Am I just being stubborn? Am I just afraid to admit that I can't do this or shouldn't do this? Or? I just need some perspective. Non-homeschoolers tell me to "just put them in school" like that is an easy/quick fix that will solve all my problems. Homeschoolers tell me to cut back or just do the basics...but I feel like I'm failing them. Any advice, comments, constructive criticism, hugs, prayers, etc. are welcome. Thanks for listening.
The pastor's wife was probably forming mental image of your situation based upon what you were telling her. Her image may or may not have been accurate. The pastor's wife probably thought that your situation was much more strained than merely a "few bad days." You know far more about your situation than she does. Then again maybe she sees some things with an outsider's eye that you do not.
How is it "defeat" for you to put your children in regular school if, after soul searching assessment, that is what is best for them? In my opinion, "defeat" would be continuing a pattern that is not effective for the mother or the children.
If you only wanted reassurance from her or others that everything would be ok, make it clear upfront that you are seeking encouragement for continuing homeschooling. Otherwise, people naturally think that you truly are asking their opinion on how to solve your problem.
Only you know how your children are progressing. You are in Pennsylvania. Although I do not know what their hsing laws are, I do recall that they are one of strictest for hsing. Are you meeting required minimum per state law? Would they be performing at grade level according to state standards?
Are your children progressing to your satisfaction? Do you have a schedule of material to be covered daily, weekly, monthly? Have you mostly met your educational goals?
If you break out your "good days, bad days, and impossible days" , what does homeschool look like on the bad and impossible days and what percent of days fall under the bad and impossible categories? Frankly I do not believe that "just doing the basics" cuts it as a long term solution.
Do you function well enough mentally to hold down a regular paying job? If not, traditional schooling may indeed be what is most appropriate for your situation. Only you know the answer to your question.
You have a child who is having daily meltdowns. You currently are no medicated. Hopefully both of you will seek treatment and counseling and arrive at an educational decision that is best for all of you. The decision about your children's educational future needs to be made after an honest objective assessment that does not rely too heavily upon religious or sociopolitical ideologies. Remember this is your children's future.
Even though dark depression is not organically contagious, it permeates the atmosphere of the home. I would be surprised if spouse and children can remain optimistic in face of it. I recommend a Martin Seligman book titled Learned Optimism that may help you develop healthier thinking patterns. There is also a version for children aptly titled The Optimistic Child.
-
I was just thinking of this reading the couple of posts in the Mission of Motherhood thread.
I hear a lot of people talk about how motherhood is so unappreciated, how you are lauded for doing anything in the world but being a mom, that it's the most important job in the world but nobody gives moms credit, etc.
I don't know about all that, honestly. The thing is, are other jobs really all that appreciated? My husband is a full-time research associate. As far as I can tell, people don't come up to him very often telling him how important his job is or how much they appreciate him. I teach writing part-time, and I don't think anybody has ever told me how much they appreciate what I do or how important it is. In fact, I've gotten far more positive, supportive, encouraging comments about being home with my kids and homeschooling than I do about my outside-the-home work. It's not that people criticize my teaching job, they just don't laud me for having it, in any way.
Maybe if you're a brain surgeon or a senator or a CEO people are always telling you how important you are and how much they appreciate what you do. I don't know. But I don't think most people are getting that kind of affirmation for what they do.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that moms aren't under-appreciated; I think I'm saying that maybe we under-appreciate most things that people do. I'm guessing my mail carrier doesn't have people telling her how much they appreciate what she does and how important it is on anything like a regular basis--although it is really important and I do appreciate it! My mom was a preschool teacher for years, and I'm not aware of anybody ever telling her how she was doing such an important, appreciated job. My MIL worked as a cashier at Caldor for many years, and I know that nobody ever told her those things.
I'm just wondering where this idea that moms/SAHMs are uniquely unappreciated comes from, and if it's realistic. It just doesn't seem realistic to me, because it seems part of this idea that women are loudly applauded for having careers, which just isn't the case. Most jobs that most women do are just as unappreciated as being a SAHM, and that's true for most men, too. And I think maybe it breeds a certain amount of resentment in SAHMs, who are being sent a message that if they were doing anything else, they'd be like showered with praise and admiration, when that's just not the case.
I don't know. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. It's one of those things that was in my brain that I just needed to get out. And it's making me think that maybe I need to do a better job showing my appreciation for the many things that the people I know do.
:iagree:
Motherhood definitely is unappreciated in terms of financial compensation.
When a woman chooses to leave (or never enter) the paying workforce, she becomes dependent upon her husband's benevolence. Sure, the household income theoretically belongs to both partners, but that is not always the way it works out in real life. Should the marriage go awry, a SAHM can possibly find herself remaining in unfulfilling marriage because of financial constraints.
As for other peoples' possible underappreciation of motherhood, my first response is why do we need outside validation of our career choices? It is up to the individual to find a satisfying life's work or mission for herself, whether that be a SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, or the acronym of her choice.
I believe it is emotional hyperbole when people claim that parenthood is the hardest job and most underappreciated. There are many careers that are essential to a well functioning society, yet no one fawns over those workers. Almost anybody can be a parent. To perform adequately as a parent, one needs emotional maturity,mental stability, compassion, an understanding of human development, and sufficient time and financial resources for rearing children.
Speaking purely from personal experience, I have worked both as a mother and as a professional. Hands down, motherhood was the easier of the two in spite of having special needs child.
-
I feel no obligation to answer the door or to provide a snack or drink to uninvited people. I presume the missionaries are aware of their schedule for the day and have had made satisfactory arrangements to handle their food, drink, and restroom needs. If I do answer the door, a simple "I'm not interested" prior to closing door should suffice.
There is no need to be rude, to attempt to convert the missionaries to your brand of religion, or to ask them to help you with chores.
-
...when so many are having a rough time?
It is all in the delivery and in the consideration of privacy, which will vary depending upon medium.
Is it bad form to share bad news?
-
... So, what do you think? Do pool owners "owe" their friends use of their pool? Or was my acquaintance out of line?
A strong unequivocal NO, pool owners are not obligated to let others use their pool.
-
My IL's think they have a right to say how my dd is raised and my MIL tries to baby her whenever we are together. Dh and I have been married a long time and have never lived near our families until now. Now we are only near them part time. (Don't ask, it is a long story.) Dh and I have figured stuff out on our own for a long time. It really gets on my nerves and I don't know if it is because I am old and set in my ways, if their expectations are unreasonable or something else that is the problem. I really don't want others to raise dd. I more expect grandparents to do fun things with their grandkids and let us be the parents. We have been trying to get dd to be independent, confident, and always be willing to stretch what she can do. They really don't like this. I don't know if this would be such an issue if I were a young mom, maybe I would just let it happen and it wouldn't bother me. Dh and I have our own ideas as to how dd should be raised and they don't like most of it. Often there is lots of unsolicited advice that is critical of us and fairly controlling in nature from MIL in particular. It tends to bother me much more than dh because he says he can just ignore her. He gets tired of hearing me complain about it and says I should just ignore it.
I read your post followed by noting your daughter's age. My gut instinct is that, yes, you are being unreasonable. I do not know what "independence" and "fun things" look like with a fifteen month old.
-
Maybe I'm letting this bother me and probably should just let it go.
My neighbors seem to just help themselves to things in our yard to use. We came home a couple of weeks ago and they were sitting in their back yard around a fire pit. I though oh they got a new fire pit, oh they got a fire pit just like ours... then they yell over at us. Hey we're using your fire pit hope you don't mind.
Well the last week I have come several times and they are in our back yard with their 2 year old playing in my daughters play house or on her playground equipment or playing on her riding toys.
Is it me or shouldn't a normal person ask permission before coming on your property and using your stuff?
I guess if they would ask I would be ok with it but it bothers me they never ask. Plus could I be liable if they get hurt while on my property?
Am I over reacting?
No. I would put up a fence with a combination lock on gate.
-
Yes, it would bother me. Guests should be prompt when dinner is being served. Definitely I would not invite them to dinner again, but maybe coffee and dessert instead since those are not time sensitive.
-
I mean, no pantyhose, really? Where does that leave a gal whose legs are pasty-white without perfect skin or great muscle tone? ... I know I need to lose weight, but I'm still what I would call average- 5'5" and size 12-14 depending on the brand. But I can't find clothes that make me happy to spend money on them. It's pathetic.
1. I consider my pasty-white skin beautiful and have no qualms about exposing it. In fact, I take measures to keep my skin white by wearing sun-shielding hats outdoors, avoiding swimming during most intense times for UV rays, and wearing sun block. My thighs are flabby and jiggle after rest of body is not in motion. I do not hide them.
2. Go for the classically tailored clothing that never goes out of style. Lands End, LL Bean, and others always have such items in stock. They may cost more upfront, but in the long run it is worth it because of the versatility, durability, and non-trendiness.
-
-
.. I'm down on wives as chattel and I loathe romance. Ugh, gack, puke, puke...And now, after dealing with I don't know how many women who are on the verge of hospitalization due to emotional (and often financial) or physical trauma after a Really Romantic Guy turned into a monster of violence or selfishness or lying once married, I find romantic men terrifying. Or, as one friend put it, "the sweeter the come-on, the faster they are out the door."
:iagree: I have always been suspicious of pet names, sweepingly dramatic overt romantic gestures, etc, particularly when there is not sufficient basis (or time) for those feelings to have evolved past infatuation. Far too many women fail to ask themselves logical questions and simply eat up the fawning b.s. Of course, the b.s. flows in the female to male direction too.
-
He did not and does not "get" why he would have.
He would have asked even if the answer was no, so it seemed pointless to ask, when you would only go with what you wanted to hear.:D.
Exactly. To ask for either permission or blessing indicates that asker probably is expecting a positive affirmation. If a couple cannot confidently reach a decision about marriage on their own, maybe they are not ready to marry. Do people really ask for blessing when they expect a negative response?
I do not expect other adults, parents included, to "bless" my life decisions about marriage, cohabitation, homeschooling, or any number of lifestyle choices. However, they do need to respect the decisions.
If a couple felt the need for advice or input from other important adults in their life, then wouldn't the time for such advice be BEFORE they developed the intent to marry?
-
What sort of wrong things make it ok to commit adultery?
It should never be anyone's 'response' to ANY trouble in a marriage.
Exactly. My perpetually miserable (now ex) brother in law looked up his former high school sweetheart on the internet.
Bil had been with my disabled sister for 13 years. Sweetheart had been married 31 years to her husband, who was disabled by stroke 11 years prior.
Once they were having their affair, it was all justified because they had "always been unhappy" with their respective spouses. Never had either of them sought marriage or personal counseling. It's human nature I guess to not make a move until you spot greener grass.
-
We use both the front and back covered porches. My swing along with other furniture is on front porch. My beloved sky chair, hot tub, and patio set are on back porch. We also have a covered porch/balcony on front 2nd floor. Two bedrooms have French doors that lead out onto balcony. It unfortunately does not get used to its fullest potential.
-
It seems the judge felt the in this case felt the arrangement of "ownership" of the cows was an attempt to evade state regulation of the dairy industry, and was in effect subterfuge.
This was not a case of an individual family keeping an milking their own cows, but a commercial dairy farm keeping and milking the cows with "ownership" distributed to the consumer.
Personally I think people should be able to consume raw milk it that is their desire. But I think this case is more complex that it appears on its surface.
Bill
I appreciate your voice of reason and your willingness to delve into analytical detail.
-
For Those Who Didn't Nurse...
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I had not heard of that one, but since coffee is a diuretic, it makes sense.