It's ALWAYS the little things that matter most!

[Denisemomof4]

I lost my dad in August, he was only 66. We just had our first holidays without him and I didn't miss a thing about the HUGE amount of money he'd give us each Christmas. It's always the little things that get to me.

 

The first time I cried out in public about him was in the grocery store. Out of NOWHERE the flood gates opened when I saw Newman's Own juices, the lemonade and limeade. He LOVED them. It's also hard for me NOT to think of him and his fruit popsicles. Thankfully I haven't had to buy popsicles. Who wants them in NH in the fall or winter? We'd rather have hot beverages and chili. ;)

 

His daily phone calls, sometimes up to 15 per day - NOT KIDDING, were sometimes a real nuisance, especially when I asked so many times not to call during school hours, but oh how I miss them! He had the knack of always calling at the WORST time! One day, about a month after his death, I had schooled the kids and worked my BUTT off on the house. I plopped in complete exhaustion, and then thought to myself, "Oh, now's the time Dad will probably call....." and then I realized......

 

Just this morning I couldn't get out of bed until 11:00 because I had a POUNDING migraine. I dozed off and on and had a dream. In my dream I was lying on one of my kid's beds in their room just looking around and I saw a huge purple star balloon. It was the most BEAUTIFUL balloon I had ever seen. My parents used to get balloon arrangements for the kids along with usually too many expensive gifts. It was the BALLOON I longed for from Dad in my dream! I cried uncontrollably in my dream and awoke to a THROBBING head and a soaking wet face and neck. It's the first time that I can remember crying real tears, and LOTS of them, in a dream.

 

I miss Mom standing outside in the freezing cold with her door wide open just so she could talk to us as we got in the car and wave goodbye. This one was one of the hardest. I used to think it was so silly to watch her standing there and would tell all the kids, "Wave goodbye to Nana now!" Sometimes I'd say, "Get inside, Mom! It's FREEZING out here!" The first time she didn't do this I cried all the way home, 45 minutes away, as dh held my hand....... and shed quite a few tears himself....

 

But it's not all SAD here!

 

Dh has bought me some elaborate gifts in our almost 20 years of marriage, but one gift that REALLY showed me how much he loved me was a NEW BIRDFEEDER for my birthday! How I miss using that feeder. I was tired of cleaning up all the bird parts my cats would leave behind. :glare:

 

In my 12+ years of living on acreage surrounded by conservation land one of my biggest blessings was watching a chipmunk take a large leave, fold it in half, turn it and fold it again, and repeat this over and over until it was very small. It then put it in its cheek and climbed into our rock wall. That was over a decade ago and I still think of it! :001_smile:

 

I love going to Barnes and Noble on a date with dh, getting a coffee, skimming through a huge stack of books, etc. just as much, if not more, than a date in Boston going out to a nice restaurant for dinner and a play. The latter costs a LOT more and I enjoy B&N dates just as much. If not more. :tongue_smilie:

 

I may just be simple to please, but it really IS the little things that matter most to me. :001_smile:

 

Denise

Edited January 6, 2009 by Denisemomof4

[Plucky]

You're so right. The little every day things are so special. :grouphug:

[SonshineLearner]

:grouphug:

I often think about when my parents are gone, if I'll miss them as much as I believe I will. We're kinda best friends, no one else always has time for you! (even that 15th call!)

Sorry for your loss; I'm sure the holidays are especially hard as you pass through them this first time.

Carrie