Would you go to simply support your friend? UPDATE in #54

[StephanieZ]

If it's a business thing, and it would cost you a significant sum or significant time (i.e, more than a few bucks or few minutes), then, no, I wouldn't go unless I had some real interest in it. If it was a free or close to free party/open house/whatever, then I would likely stop by as a support. But, no, I don't think it is cool for a friendship to require/suggest you to spend money on something you don't want. 

 

And, FWIW, our family is supported by our family business. I appreciate it when friends choose to use our business for their needs. But, I wouldn't want or expect anyone to use our business unless it met their needs. In fact, plenty of friends take their business to a competitor, and I don't take it personally. (Eventually, most of our friends have ended up being clients, but that's because they chose to do that because our business is great and, probably, they know that in fact they will get extra special attention being our friends.)

 

Just as I wouldn't expect a friend to give me a discount at their business, I don't expect a friend to choose my business just because. And, certainly, I wouldn't expect or even want a friend to blow money on our business for no good reason. 

 

I *would* intentionally choose a friend's business over a random business. I love supporting local businesses and friends. And, I love the special service I get from friends. Recently, a friend went out on his own as a CPA (he had been a corporate CPA). I brought him some personal business (one tax return) immediately when he went out on his own, and within the first year, I also brought him our own small business returns/advising (much larger $$) as well as our other personal returns. I had been happy with our (former) CPA for years, but I gave my friend an opportunity to earn our big business because he was a friend. He did a good job, and he earned our business. Essentially, because he was a friend, I gave him a foot in the door (that I wouldn't have given anyone else). I do the same with other business matters . . .

 

So, yes, being a friend gives you a foot in the door, a quickly returned phone call, and probably some "perks" like a cheerfully taken after-hours call and/or some other bending of rules . . . but I still expect to pay the same rates for services as anyone else, and I (generally) still charge the same rates for friends as I do for strangers. (Occasionally, we do things for very close friends for free, but that is really occasional and never asked for by those friends. In fact, if someone asked, they'd likely no longer be friends . . .)

Edited January 26, 2016 by StephanieZ

[Guest]

Here's an update: I RSVPd today Not Attending. Fortunately, there was a digital invitation, which makes saying No easy (although I can't guarantee she won't ever mention it). The other thing is, because it was a digital invite, I can see how many have committed and how many were invited. The invitation list is BIG! A LOT of invitations. The committed yeses is teesy-tiny. Extremely small. In one sense, it makes me feel bad because it is exactly like the scenario I post up-thread of five people attending and one is your mom. OTOH, it makes me think perhaps I am right that a lot of people are thinking this isn't necessary.

 

Also, I'm not even sure I should say this but something popped into my head while I was meditating today. I thought this: this friend is not really my equal. I don't feel like she is my dear friend; I feel like she is an aquaintance whom I find admirable. The actual visual in my mind was of her standing on a staircase, three steps up from me, as I gazed appreciatively at her elevated status. *giggle* i'm not sure that means anything important Re: attending or not, but I think it was an interesting revelation my subconscious wanted to mention. ;)

[redsquirrel]

so that makes me think that she isn't someone who would reciprocate in a similar situation...and you'd be good with that  :001_smile:

 

Im glad you are feeling comfortable with your decision

[fdrinca]

She's a couponer, right? Suddenly two of my friends/acquaintances are "extreme saving experts" and have started classes to teach their methods.

 

I'd have made the same choice in your situation :)

[Guest]

She's a couponer, right? Suddenly two of my friends/acquaintances are "extreme saving experts" and have started classes to teach their methods.

 

I'd have made the same choice in your situation :)

No, but that made me laugh! :)