Large family moms - can I do this?

[Perogi]

Chiming in a little late, but with DH and I (eldest of 8 and eldest of 5 respectively) I hope my opinion is welcome.

 

I think you can definitely do different without less. In our families growing up, Gr7 would be working independently with a morning meeting, end of day meeting, and parent available for questions, Gr5 would be working semi-independently with check ins at the transition between each subject and for mum to check the student understood any new content, and Gr3 would be able to start each subject with 5-15mins with mum teaching, and then the rest of the lesson independently. For us, this was what made it work. It required certain curriculum, not 'simpler' curriculum but different structure, things which did not have teacher guides, things which were aimed directly to the student. It required teaching the children to work independently even from Gr1 level (once child could form letters correctly and understand basic sum format, practice worksheets were done independently for example). It required adjusting time expectations, rather than setting 'school time' the eldest child might come to mum with questions before bed, and the youngest one might finish their math lesson on the counter while mum cooked dinner. It means less mum-involved things like mum-led projects, or curricula with lots of read alouds. It meant sometimes the eldest listened to the youngest read, and sometimes the older children did their science experiment together independently of mum. It meant that fun things like art projects or history-based hands on activities waited until the weekend when dad was home. 

 

I don't think any of this took away from our educations, and in some ways it helped us, we learned vital study skills and self motivation and all sorts of little benefits. But it's not a teaching style that suits everyone, it's much more 'manager' and much less 'participant' if you know what I mean. But I don't think it's less than, or worse. 

 

I would say my current schedule isn't too far off what you describe.  There isn't a LOT that my 7th grader requires me for.  She will be using Apologia general science this year, Saxon (I just bought the DIVE cds in light of this situation), history will be semi-independent (her spine is on audio and she'll be learning notetaking as well as outlining Kingfisher), Bible and reading are CLE workbooks, French is workbook based, etc.  My 5th grader has about 4 things a day she needs my assistance with - First Language Lessons, math lesson, Spelling, etc.  She does need more direction and encouragement than either of my other two.  Thankfully I had already purchased Essentials in Writing for her.  My 3rd grader will also need me for about 4 things daily - FLL, WWE, AAS, Math.  I had already planned for my 3rd and 5th to do science together with a fair amount of independence.

 

I am thinking if I can teach the two littles to play independently or at least quietly near us for about an hour, have my kids each take 30 min to play with them, and include them in our circle time (about 45 min) that basically gets us to nap time.  I can manage art or hands on projects in the afternoon with everyone after naps/quiet time.

[Perogi]

I think you could but I doubt you can keep the same school routine down as you have. I get you love teaching the way you do but I think you'll have significantly cut back how many hours a day you can teach one on one. My guess? 2-4 hours a day tops, if you can get them to all take a good nap after lunch and do most of your teacher intensive work them and then maybe you can by a bit of time when they are up, especially if you assign a child to play with the littles. Maybe have homework time in the evening when littles are asleep or dad is home and can watch littles or do homework. Think about what subjects you can do with baby awake.

 

If it were me I would combine them all for there core or have the 3 & 5 grader combined and the 7th on a independent program. Then I would focus on giving the 3rd & 5th grader some one on one time in areas they need it.

 

Brainstorming but I could see ---

45 min one on one with 3/5

30 min check in with 7th

2 hr core for all

3/5 do an hour to two hours independent work

Each child spends some time watching littles while you do one on one time

 

I might think of doing a box curriculum to take the planning off your hands while you get your bearings.

 

We've enjoyed using mfw. Each history cycle is geared to kids in grades 2-8 so they should all be able to do a core. The Hazels had 6 children so it's designed for larger families and multiple ages. They have talks available on cd and youtube about how they fit school in with littles under foot.

 

My family composition is different but I can tell you what we do with one toddler on a typical day.

 

It's a lose flow, not a schedule. Schedules with a baby don't work so much for me.

 

My kids are 18 mo, 6, and 8.

 

AM goal- between 8 and 12

Bible together (10 min)---while baby is up (sometimes before bed when baby is down for night already)

One on one with 6 year old for math, Lang, character / Bible, Read Alouds (1 hr)---oldest plays with baby

8 year olds independent work (1 hr)----while baby is up and mom / k'er play with her

One on one math & Lang instruction (or whatever she needs help with) for 8 year old (1h)----while baby takes an hour nap / quiet time

Spanish (20 min)---while baby is up (together)

 

PM- between 1-4

Chapter book- (15-30 min)---right after lunch (baby might be up) (or sometimes before bed when baby's already down for night)

Core- history, art, music, science, etc. (90 min)---during babies pm nap

Another 1/2 hr of independent work for 3rd grader (30 min)---while I do chores (sometimes I need an hour of my own quiet time and she does all her independent work in one shot in her room while I nap)

1 hr. quiet / nap for all after chapter reading

 

My total teaching time is 4 1/2 hrs. We only do small spurts of "couch time" school when baby is up totaling max an hour. Then basically I break it down two hours active teaching in the morning and 2 in the afternoon

 

I don't enjoy teaching over an unhappy toddler.

 

 

Thank you for your detailed response!

[Perogi]

I want to add that if you decide to do this, the very act of doing it provides daily lessons of compassion, generosity and altruism. No packed curriculum could teach your children better.

 

Yes!  I agree.  But it's hard to put that on a checklist! ;)

[Perogi]

I absolutely think you can be an involved teacher and parent smaller children. It sounds like these kids are  good fit for your family based on what you're saying and I personally would go for it. I'm also coming from a place where we took a break from fostering over the summer and spent the time doing a bunch of fun things that weren't appropriate to do with a baby or a small toddler in the house. I'd do it if I were in your shoes and expect to tweak school a bit but definitely would NOT give up on teaching the older kids yourself.

 

Yes - that has been my thought as well - large families do manage somehow!  I have friends who use things like ABeka streaming so I know there are options but those aren't my preference.  I appreciate your opinion as a fellow foster parent as well :)  The break this summer was very intentional and a huge blessing.  I'm glad you had the same!

[Perogi]

Definitely don't give up being able to teach older kids. It might mean changing the way you do things, cutting back on commitments, and shifting somethings into independent work, but lots of large families make it work. And a lot of what your anxious about works itself out. That's what I have seen with a baby added to our schooling and now with being pregnant with a toddler.

 

I'm willing to cut back on other comitments, but not homeschooling!  I do tend towards independence but have a number of things with each child that I do need to teach.  I'm sure it'll feel like a juggling act and I'll be the one who feels the change the most.

[Perogi]

I have 5 at home. 2 bio, 2 adopted, and 1 foster to adopt. We have RAD, ODD, ADHD thrown in the mix as well as one who we has to be involved in virtual school this year. It isn't easy, in fact I have one screaming in the background right now😥, but it's worth it and if you are called to do this then you will find a way! I think a mother's day out for the toddler would be very helpful as well just to give you one or two days you can focus on the big kids.

 

Thank you!  Those are some very difficult labels you're managing.  Thankfully right now all three are on track developmentally and not exhibiting major behaviors.  It's the leap between seeing what seems impossible and yet feeling a call and having to have the trust to step out in faith.

 

I really don't see any way of not having the 20 month old home every day - at least not this year.  The 3yo will have 3 day a week preschool but the littlest will be home with us.

[Jean in Newcastle]

spam reported.

[dollhouse]

I guess I'm okay with different but not with less....does that make sense?  I don't want having them to mean that my kids have a crappy school year and fall behind.

 

For example, with your 8 kids you've obviously found ways to make sure your school age kids are getting their educational needs met while still tending to other younger siblings.  How did you do that? By intentionally choosing to keep school to the basics?  By choosing very independent curriculum?  By being flexible and accepting interruptions while you teach?  I am willing to find ways to balance time and juggle the hats, I just don't want to have to change the hats themselves....

 

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be stubborn.  I really am trying to work through it.  Does having them mean I have to change curriculum, remove myself from active teaching, etc.

 

Adopting kids will absolutely change the dynamic not only of your homeschooling, but your entire family. And the dynamic will unfold and change over time. I speak as the sibling of adopted kids, as well as being the mother of five (three are school age, two younger ones). This is not to say you shouldn't do it or that it isn't worthwhile. But if you are really attached to things being the way they are, then I would advise against it.

 

I'll be honest, it is really hard for me to school my older ones well, parent my little ones well, and take of the house the way I want to at the same time. I feel like there is definitely a juggling act going on, and I can't do all three things perfectly at a given time. Young children who have had a disruptive early childhood really deserve a LOT of time and undivided attention, and I don't think it's realistic to expect that your homeschooling can continue as is with such a major family development.

[phathui5]

" I directly teach math, grammar, composition, spelling, foreign language and history to each of my kids separately. "

 

As a large family, we purposely do history, science, and some foreign language together. Math and language arts the kids do on their own, with some oversight from me. I try to buy curricula that I can hand them and have them do themselves (once they're literate).