Live-in tutor?

[rzberrymom]

If you had a detached studio apt., would you consider having a tutor live there? I'm thinking a college student or maybe an exchange student (to help with language). I have an overworked DH, I work part-time (very part-time), and I'm kind of thinking someone to help support my older kiddo's schooling might be nice. I think my kiddo would love the variety too. Downside, of course, would be that we'd have to share our backyard, and our privacy would take a hit even though it's detached.

 

Has anyone done this? Or considered it? Am I nuts?

[Farrar]

We haven't, but I've known families who have nannies who help with their kids' schooling and families who have rented basement apartments in exchange for childcare. If you have that resource, that sounds like a good plan to me. Just outline the responsibilities super clearly in writing and decide if you want to rent the space at a discount for a little bit of teaching or babysitting time or in full exchange or what.

[Um_2_4]

And check with your local tenant laws. There was a case locally of a family that traded room/board for childcare and ended up in a big mess with police getting involved then they had to wait and serve evictions papers.....

I think that it turned out that if they had rented for $$ and then turned around and paid for hours worked it would have been simpler or something like that. But be sure to do anything in writing and I might have a lawyer familiar with your cities tenant laws review any contracts.

[purduemeche]

If it's legal in your area, and you are confident that their worldview will not negatively impact your children, then I think it's a great idea.  We might be able to afford it, but I am not confident to find a person I want teaching my children.

[duckens]

I was a live-in Boston nanny for 5 years for children who either attended public or private school, or were of preschool age.  2 of the 5 years were in exchange for room and board.

And BC ("Before Children" of my own), I babysat and helped with homeschooling long-term (6.5 years, 2 days/week) for a local family while living in my own, off-site domicile.  (The mom was out of the house on those days). 

I will ALWAYS  be grateful for that opportunity to experience homeschooling prior to my own kids.  It gave me confidence that I could do this.

1) Check references.  Whether for a tenant or for someone to tutor your kids, check references.

2) Be VERY specific about your expectations.  Do not try to present yourselves as, "We're the happiest family on earth!  And it will be a joy to work for us!"  Presenting the job with as much detail as possible (in writing) will let the tenant/tutor know if they can do this job or not.  Someone WILL take the job as long as the price is right.

My first nanny job had this all written out while I interviewed with them, including which days to empty the garbage cans and change the sheets, and how the schedule adjusted during the summer months. 

3) Will working a few hours/week for you interfere with the tenant/tutor's ability to earn what is necessary to pay the balance on the rent, or will it interfere with them taking shifts they need to pay for school?  For example, will your schedule of asking for tutoring from 7-8pm interfere with them working the dinner shift at a restaurant?  Will your schedule of asking for tutoring from 2-3pm interfere with them taking a job in a lab on campus?  I don't know.

One of my Live-In nanny jobs was 20hours in exchange for room and board.  I had saved money like crazy for the prior two years, working 60 hours/week as a nanny, plus working two babysitting jobs on Saturday and two on Sunday (while going to college part-time).  I lived off my savings (to pay for college and an old car) for 12 months.  By the end of the year, there was nothing left.

4) I think that you should do the renting separate from the tutoring.  It's just  human nature.  It would be difficult to work hard for your boss, and then to pay them $100+/month for rent for the privilege of working for you.  Offer the apartment, and, as a separate  perk, offer, "and you have the opportunity to earn $$ if you help to teach my children German!" 

Or, use the money from the apartment income to hire the college student you want from off campus.

5) Be sensitive to student schedules.  In our university town, we have "dead week" which is the week before finals.  Most of the papers and major projects are due this week.  There may be unit tests.  And during finals week, student schedules change compared to the rest of the semester. 

It would be kind to offer, "Since your last test is on Wednesday, how about we schedule that week's tutoring for later in the week, rather than our usual Tuesday Morning?"

Or

Be aware that the student may choose to go home for two weeks to visit their family.  Or go away for a vacation with friends.  Or take a 3-week class abroad.  Do you want to be the reason they miss out on that opportunity?

I've also had a boss that got sick, and she asked me to skip class to babysit.  I feel bad for her, and I did help her, but she did not reimburse me for the continuing ed classes I missed.  And considering that her family was worth $$$$$$$, and I was earning minimum wage, it was tough.  Be sensitive.You may not be worth a million dollars, but your income is probably more than the student's.

Again, separating the renting from the tutoring avoids this moral grey area.

6) Let's talk about sex.  I've met a lot of people who have a plan similar to yours (exchanging tenancy for childcare).  Their situation is usually a little different because their house would be shared with the tenant, even if the downstairs tenant has a separate entrance, kitchenette, and full bath.  The thing that stops them are issues with young adults having sex.

Quite honestly, I don't want my 4yo asking, "Who's the guy in the jockey shorts sitting at the breakfast table?"  That would not be reasonable.

However, with a separate entrance, your adult tenant would be able to have night-time visitors.
--Would it be okay as long as your family never saw or heard them (gone before dawn)?
--Would it be okay if it is a LTR rather than bringing home different partners every Saturday night?
--Would it be okay if the tenant is gay and bringing home a gay partner?
--If there is a LTR, is it reasonable for the significant other to spend the night 1x/week?  Or unreasonable?
--If your tenant/tutor has a friend of the opposite sex (NOT a lover) who locks themselves ouf of his/her apartment, can they crash at your tenant/tutor's room until dawn?  BTDT. 

PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER HERE.  IT IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS WHAT YOUR CHOICES OR OPINIONS WOULD BE.  I simply bring this up because these are things that you will need to consider if you go this route.

This is the messiness of mixing "boss" with "landlord."  It's another argument to keep the tenant agreement and the tutoring separate.