scrappymom Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Ok, how do you get your kids to stop fighting?! I have 2 DD's almost 8 and 4...they are both extremely smart cookies, but i swear that you CAN'T put them in the same room! The older one has no idea how to play nicely with her sister, how to understand that she is NOT 8 she's only 4!!!(she's fine with any other little kids, just not her sister)... And the little one cries that her sister doesn't like her, her sister won't play with her, etc etc...she just wants someone to play with...it's absolutely heartbreaking that they can't seem to remotely get along... It's taking absolutely everything in my power to not send them off to PS tomorrow. I seriously wonder if i really can handle this? I am in tears.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyNellen Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 OK, Christy, you CAN handle this. I promise. I have been where you are, and certainly still have struggles periodically with sibling unpleasantness, but my kiddos have taken great strides in recent years. Here are some things that have helped: If your daughters are not used to playing nicely together, start small. Set up 15-20 minutes in the schedule - every day - for them to play. Choose a time when they are well-fed, bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Avoid that last 20 minutes before nap time, for instance. :-) Set clear boundaries. Say, "Why don't the two of you build the best castle you can with these blocks?" Let your older daughter know that this is the time for her to serve her little sister...to help her, encourage her, and praise her when she does well. My kids seem to respond differently when I tell them it is time to "serve" as opposed "play." Praise your older daughter for playing nicely with her sister. Even if it's only for 5-10 minutes. They need to build their relationship during this time, so encourage as much as you can. Around here the older sibling will lose a privilege (computer, free time, etc.) if they are mean or hurtful to their little sibling. As they get used to this regular situation you can increase the amount of time. Most importantly for me I had to keep my own expectations in check. They won't become best buddies overnight. There will be days where things don't go well. But if you keep at it and refrain from getting frustrated with them, it will happen over time. Blessings to you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 A four-year gap is hard - your older kid has to tone stuff down to a younger level, but the younger can't in turn be any more than a four-yr-old. They may both need time apart, projects with Mom (besides school), etc. to make the time together more special. Is there a large toy (dollhouse? etc.) that is only to be made accessible to the 'team"? So they can only use it if they get along? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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