CW Maxim writing assignment. I could use another set of eyes

[Parrothead]

If you've gone through Maxim Unit 4 would you mind looking at dd's project? So many of her paragraphs are single sentences. I'm not exactly sure how to beef it up. Any idea? Thoughts?

 

 

You Can Lead a Horse to Water, But You Can't Make Him Drink

 

It is proper to praise a writer, especially John Heywood. He was an English writer known for his plays, poems, and proverbs.

 

This maxim speaks about telling someone to do something, but one is unable to make them do it.

 

This is the proper concern of every man (or woman), that people are free to do what they want and you cannot make them do something they do not want to.

 

In contrast, if you try to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, you may waste the day doing that one thing when you could be doing other stuff.

 

Just as if you offer people advice about something they don’t have to take it.

 

For example: the ant and the grasshopper. The ant tried to tell the grasshopper to store food for the winter but because of the grasshopper’s free will he did not have to do what the ant said and eventually the grasshopper found himself starving because he did not take the ant’s advice.

 

St. Thomas Aquinas says that the will is the principle of the self-motion in humans. That is, humans are free to exercise their will and to choose particular things.

 

After looking at all these points, how is it possible to not admire John Heywood, who said such wise things about the knowledge of telling someone to do something but not make them do it?

[Kendall]

I am really hoping someone more knowledgeable will answer, but I will mention something. I have not used CW Maxim.

 

Maybe she could add specific examples.

 

This maxim speaks about telling someone to do something, but one is unable to make them do it.

 

Then she could give several examples (Being a mom one thing that comes to mind is that you can place a 2 year old on the toilet but you can't make them go:)

 

Just as if you offer people advice about something they don’t have to take it.

 

She could give examples here from her own experience or reading or make some up.

 

Even if you don't want to take the time to have her do this for all of the essay, you could have her do one paragraph. This process of giving specific examples is something my kids have had trouble with and need to practice.

 

Kendall

[Parrothead]

I am really hoping someone more knowledgeable will answer, but I will mention something. I have not used CW Maxim.

 

Maybe she could add specific examples.

 

This maxim speaks about telling someone to do something, but one is unable to make them do it.

 

Then she could give several examples (Being a mom one thing that comes to mind is that you can place a 2 year old on the toilet but you can't make them go:)

 

Just as if you offer people advice about something they don’t have to take it.

 

She could give examples here from her own experience or reading or make some up.

 

Even if you don't want to take the time to have her do this for all of the essay, you could have her do one paragraph. This process of giving specific examples is something my kids have had trouble with and need to practice.

 

Kendall

 

 

Thanks Kendall. I had her beef it up on Friday, and used many of your ideas. I didn't think about the 2-year old example. I'll run it by her to see if she wants to add it.

[Violet Crown]

Maybe this would be more obvious if I were familiar with the unit; but it took a second reading for me to realize that Heywood must have been the writer of the "You can lead a horse..." maxim. Maybe his authorship could be more directly stated?