Ideas for being alone with a toddler and newborn

[ballardlm]

Okay, here is my dilema and I am asking you ladies because I want some unbiased opinions and I don't want to share all this with those closest to us yet. I am 35 weeks pregnant, I have an almost 2 year old boy, and my husband is military. I am a stay at home mom. We just found out that he may be leaving for an extended period of time right around the time the baby is due. Nothing is for sure yet, BUT I feel like I need to prepare for it just in case. I have had a high risk pregnancy and am having a repeat C-section. I will have help from extended family for 2 to 3 weeks after the baby gets here, then I am on my own. No family lives nearby, and although I have friends who will help as much as they can they have their own kids, jobs, etc. So, what do you think. Could I handle a newly turned 2 year old and a newborn all day every day 3 weeks after a C-section? Should I look for childcare for my oldest for a short period of time? I will probably hire a cleaning service at least once a month so that will take care of deep cleaning, but there is still laundry and dishes and cooking to contend with. I had expected my husband to be home in the evenings and on the weekends to help me catch up and give me a break, but if he is gone I feel like I will be overwhelmed. Thoughts? Ideas? Anything advice is welcome : )

[Um_2_4]

After my cs i would NOT have been ok alone. I think it was about 8 weeks before i felt 90%, and i have a high pain tolerance or so i've been told by l&d nurses.

Could u find a mommy's helper (teen or college student) to come by after school/classes?

they could at least do some heavy lifting (pick up etc) and sit with the littles to let you nap or shower.

[tabrizia]

First off I am sure you would be fine without daycare if that is the path you want to go.

 

Second of all I would totally look for some kind of part time daycare for the 2 year old, though I might start it shortly before the baby arrives, so it doesn't seem like, new baby, daddy gone, Mommy put me in daycare. That being said, it will give you time to shop with just the baby, shopping with a baby and newborn can be lots of "fun". It will also give you some one on one time with the baby and time to nap with baby if you want, since those first few months are so exhausting and you won't have DH to help out in the evenings or anytime. That way 2 year old has fun, plays with other kids for a bit, you have time with just baby to get things done that are tough with a 2 year old. That being said when mine were 2 they were huge mischief makers, since they don't know better at that age, and if DH wasn't there to help out then I would have been a bit more insane then I normally am. So if you can afford it and have no real objection to a part time daycare situation, I would totally do it.

[AK_Mom4]

If you are going to have help for the first 2-3 weeks, could you ask them to double-cook? Make a double batch of dinner each day and put one away in the freezer? That would give you some easy meals for the next couple of weeks.

 

I would also invest in some really good entertainment toys for the toddler that can be played with next to you while you rest on the couch with baby. When my kids were little, we had a little rug with a city and roads on it. They had some blocks for making building and drove their little cars on the roads. Plastic animals escaped from the zoo on the rug and rampaged in the streets. And since it was all on the little carpet, it kept the mess contained. Kept them entertained for hours.

 

If you have stairs, put everything you need in laundry baskets and keep it downstairs so you aren't going up and down all day with both kiddos.

 

And... Congratulations!

 

ETA: one of the best times to grocery shop with a toddler is breakfast time. DS would happily sit in the cart with his juice box and a bag of cheerios while I scooted around the store getting groceries. Doing it early meant we were all less tired and grouchy!