kbpaulie Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 (edited) 4th grader - assignment is to write a paragraph with the given topic sentence, using "orderly steps". Any feedback? Including punctuation as writing is NOT my gifting... If you cut open an apple, this is what it looks like. In the center there are seeds surrounded by the tough core. Then there is the white, fleshy part that you eat. Last but not least is the yummy, juicy, crunchy, and best part, the peel. Edited October 21, 2012 by kmoncelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 4th grader - assignment is to write a paragraph with the given topic sentence, using "orderly steps". Any feedback? Including punctuation as writing is NOT my gifting... If you cut open an apple, this is what it looks like. In the center there are seeds surrounded by the tough core. The there is the white, fleshy part that you eat. Last but not least is the yummy, juicy, crunchy, and best part, the peel. Nice. I like it. :) Ok, I would have put a colon after "like." Did she write "the there," or did you and you wrote "the" instead of "then"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbpaulie Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 Thanks for the feedback. As an engineer - why the colon? Is there a rule? I never know when to use colons or commas for that matter.:bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Thanks for the feedback. As an engineer - why the colon? Is there a rule? I never know when to use colons or commas for that matter.:bigear: This is from R&S's English Handbook: [notice my use of the colon] A colon is used to introduce a list, statement, question, theory, or formal quotation. One word describes disobedience to parents: vile The dates are as follows: January 30, February 16, and March 9. Susannah Wesley, mother of John and Charles Wesley, once used this statement: "Whatever weakness your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or removes your relish of spiritual things--that is sin to you. The sentence your dd was supposed to start with introduces a list of three things. See? If you cut open an apple, this is what it looks like. 1. In the center there are seeds surrounded by the tough core. 2. Then there is the white, fleshy part that you eat. 3. Last but not least is the yummy, juicy, crunchy, and best part, the peel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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