NorCalMom Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 ...The weird idea is this. Every time for, say, the next week, when my kids do something that rubs me the wrong way, I am going to say that same thing, "Come over here and give me a great big hug right this minute." I just want to see what happens. Are you with me on this one? I'm in. I saw you link this in another post I was reading. I'm at the end of my rope with my kids right now. I feel like I'm so negative, constantly coming down on them. I was crying earlier today when I realized I had snapped for a ridiculous reason! We recently brought dd home from private school and the adjustment of being with little brother ALL day has been a little much, to say the least. I have spent the last week reviewing our decision to homeschool..."What are we thinking....are we nuts?!" (I know it's going to be worth it.) Soooo.....I'm going to give this a whole-hearted try!:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 I'm in. I saw you link this in another post I was reading. I'm at the end of my rope with my kids right now. I feel like I'm so negative, constantly coming down on them. I was crying earlier today when I realized I had snapped for a ridiculous reason! We recently brought dd home from private school and the adjustment of being with little brother ALL day has been a little much, to say the least. I have spent the last week reviewing our decision to homeschool..."What are we thinking....are we nuts?!" (I know it's going to be worth it.) Soooo.....I'm going to give this a whole-hearted try!:tongue_smilie: I'm on your team, Lisa. This is hard, especially for those of us who are used to coming down hard and delivering lectures. Breaking a bad habit is difficult - I heard it takes 30 days to establish a new one. I have blown it a few times, but I refuse to give up. I think it helps to have a bunch of other people giving it a go and giving encouragement as well. Also, please know that there is definitely a time of transition. Homeschooling is not easy, but it is soooo worth it. As you can see I have already graduated two of mine. I'm going to link to an article about my son as an encouragement to you. I am not linking this article to brag - I can take no credit - I just want to encourage you to see the big picture. God has been very gracious to me, and my children are a testimony of His grace and faithfulness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gretchen in NJ Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I'm in. I saw you link this in another post I was reading. I'm at the end of my rope with my kids right now. I feel like I'm so negative, constantly coming down on them. I was crying earlier today when I realized I had snapped for a ridiculous reason! We recently brought dd home from private school and the adjustment of being with little brother ALL day has been a little much, to say the least. I have spent the last week reviewing our decision to homeschool..."What are we thinking....are we nuts?!" (I know it's going to be worth it.) Soooo.....I'm going to give this a whole-hearted try!:tongue_smilie: Please remember there is an adjustment period. Some say for every year in school that it takes 2 years to recover.:001_huh: Homeschooling is the best thing that has ever happened to my family. One day at a time.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obiandelismom Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 This is something I do too - when I can remember to! Thank you for the reminder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in FL Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 OK I'm joining all of you. My girls drove me a bit crazy tonight. I really need to turn things around here. Tomorrow I'll be full of hugs and lots of I love you's. Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Thank you for your encouragement ladies! Kathleen, the article on your son was just great! What a testament to God's faithfulness in helping you raise him. I especially love the comment at the end of the page in which he says something to the effect of "degrees and awards are nice, but I want to be remembered as a Godly man". Fantastic! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 ... Some say for every year in school that it takes 2 years to recover.:001_huh: That's 4 years! :svengo: I can do it...I can do it....I can do it....:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gretchen in NJ Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 That's 4 years! :svengo: I can do it...I can do it....I can do it....:) I look to the little thing in our lives. Like everytime dd10 hugs me after a math lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I look to the little thing in our lives. Like everytime dd10 hugs me after a math lesson. This is what I look forward to, little moments like that!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gretchen in NJ Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 This is what I look forward to, little moments like that!:) I started one subject at a time and then I added one new subject per week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndsWell Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 What a sweet reminder of why we are doing what we're doing as parents. I'll definitely be more huggable today. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DIY-DY Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Well, today she looked so cute with her little bouquet and I felt bad about yesterday so when she came in the door I just said, "Come over here and give me a great big hug right this minute." She hugged me and then I sent her to the kitchen to find a vase. The weird idea is this. Every time for, say, the next week, when my kids do something that rubs me the wrong way, I am going to say that same thing, "Come over here and give me a great big hug right this minute." I just want to see what happens. Are you with me on this one? It's along the same lines, so I thought I'd put this out there. DS9 and DS8 have a tendency to do things that make me nuts (don't they all? Heck, don't we all do it to someone, right?) Often, it's things like telling their siblings what to do, or getting into something that makes a mess, or forgetting what they were supposed to be doing (obviously, in no specific order of occurrence). When I want to really unravel because of it, or when I start to feel like they're doing this just to make me insane, I stop and remember that they're wonderful children who are generally helpful, loving and thoughtful - and there's probably a grain of that in whatever irritating behavior they're exhibiting at that moment, too. So I find it. And then acknowledge it. "Honey, that was a very generous gesture, and I love that about you." "Sweetheart, I appreciate that you want your brother to make good choices, and that's wonderful." "Love, I'm so glad you enjoy exploring/creating/writing (whatever activity he's doing that isn't what we need to get done now)." Then I deal with why the action isn't appropriate (or isn't appropriate at the moment). THEN I redirect. It's taken some effort on some days, but it's so worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gretchen in NJ Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Just checking in and wondering how everyone is doing. We have had our ups and downs. Ballet camp was a hard two weeks for us. My girls were so over tired and cranky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Just checking in and wondering how everyone is doing. We have had our ups and downs. Ballet camp was a hard two weeks for us. My girls were so over tired and cranky. Since implementing Kathleen's idea in her op, things have really been getting better here. I'm truly amazed. Oh, we do have our ups and downs also, especially since we're cooped up most of the day because of extreme heat! There are days when I just want to throw my hands up and crawl under the covers AND lock my bedroom door! LOL! But really, if I take deep breath and just HUG them, or say "Do you know how much I love you?", the situation seems to deflate. Dh is even catching on. I sometimes have to do the same thing with him. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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